I'll Have What He's Having

            Wednesday marked five years since I’ve paid for the internet. I figure I’ve saved at least $2,500 in that time. Well, I didn’t save it as in accumulate it but it amounts to at least an extra $40 a month for groceries. I’m lucky that I live within catching range of so much free wi-fi.

            For a long time the forecast for today was rain and even in the morning it was still predicted for the time of my bike ride, so I was looking forward to a holiday. But in the late morning the forecast pushed the rain to sundown and then by the afternoon there was little chance of it happening until Sunday. I was disappointed, but when I stumbled past the mirror with my shirt off after getting up from my siesta I could see that I needed the exercise.

            Some of those bicycles that have been converted into e-bikes can really clip along. They seem faster than the regular e-bikes that are made to look like little motorcycles.

            I stopped to use the washroom at the Firkin at Woodbine and Danforth and afterwards was unlocking my bike while looking at the interesting cloud textures in the west. There was a background of grey clouds in the sun with smaller, darker clouds beneath them and traveling quickly south while one bent cigar-shaped vertical white cloud stood out by itself in front of them all. A car drove my and a middle-aged drunk passenger with a cigarette leaned out, telling me to smile and have a beautiful day.

            I rode from Danforth Avenue north on Birchmount to Danforth Road and followed that east to Kennedy and exploring all its southern side streets along the way. I wonder if people started calling Danforth Avenue “The Danforth” to distinguish it from Danforth Rd, as it being the main Danforth.

            On my way back at Avenue Road a guy driving a Bike Share velo went through a red and dodged pedestrians that were crossing. I wonder what happens if renters have an accident. They only say to report it to both Bike Share and the police. I assume they’ll make you pay for the repairs.

            I went down St George to Queen and headed home. On the way I put my hand on my right pocket and didn’t feel my phone there. I was sure I’d put it there before leaving and that I had felt the bulge while riding. The only way I could have lost it is if the motion of pedaling had caused the phone to wiggle its way out of my pocket, but that seemed strange considering that I’d been riding with it all summer and my phone was never once raised even by a millimeter in my pocket. I was hoping I would find it when I got home but I was doubtful and began reluctantly making plans to buy a new Motorola. When I got home the phone was there in the living room.

            I walked over to the liquor store to get a can of Creemore.

            I watched an episode of Mike Hammer, Private Eye. This story begins with Erin, an old friend of Hammer coming to see him about the death six months earlier of her boss, Simon, who was also a friend of Hammer’s. Simon had reportedly been killed in a lion attack along with the rest of his safari (It’s hard to sympathize there), but Erin thinks he was murdered. Hammer says he’ll look into it. That night he goes home and gets into bed in the dark but then he realizes someone is in bed with him. He grabs his gun and warns the person not to move and then the intruder says, “It’s me, Simon!” Simon proceeds to tell the story about the safari. His hunting party was all taken out by a sharp shooting assassin but Simon’s bullet went through his coat and was stopped by his flask. Simon played dead while the assassin was killed by a lion. Hammer arranges for Simon to stay hiding while he investigates the people running Simon’s business in California. Hammer’s assistants Velda and Nick take shifts babysitting Simon but when Simon meets Velda he is shocked because she looks exactly like his now deceased girlfriend Maria, for him he’d left his wife Connie. Simon and Connie had never divorced and so she had inherited all of Simon’s assets. When Hammer arrives he sees that Connie has a boyfriend that is helping her run things. Hammer figures that Connie arranged for Simon’s death but he can’t prove it. He arranges for Simon and Maria to appear before her in order to shock her into confessing.

            The character Erin is played by Deborah Lacey and she is the first Black person to have a major role on this series. She played the mother of Benjamin Sisko on Deep Space Nine and the maid Carla on Mad Men.