I went to bed a little after midnight on Sunday
but I couldn’t sleep, so I got up to masturbate. The porn videos that I’d
downloaded though turned out to be just montages of gifs with an added
soundtrack and so the images went by too fast. When I was finished and went
back to bed I still didn’t sleep much but my restlessness was a little more
restful.
I
felt kind of conked out when I got up at 5:00 but I felt okay after yoga and
didn’t take a siesta until after 14:00. I was just getting into bed when I
dragged my toe across the wooden floor and got a sliver so I had to spend
twenty minutes trying to dig it out with nail clippers and a needle.
I
weighed myself naked around midday and I was 92.9 kilos. In the early evening I
weighed myself clothed and I was 93.8.
I spent a lot of
the day writing about my Food Bank Adventure and then I got caught up with my
journal.
I had more boring
turkey for dinner. When I had my old fridge I would have had to throw the
turkey out by now, but it seems to stay fresh longer. I had some with a beer
and watched the last two episodes of the most recent season of South Park. The
two stories were basically one story. An Amazon Fulfillment Centre has opened
in South Park, providing employment for most of the town. But the automated
packaging machinery screwed up and accidentally boxed one of the employees
named Josh. Amazon announced that Josh’s accident was the result of human error
and so they will instigate training programs. The employees are pissed off and
go on strike.
The strike
effectively shuts down the plant, which means that people are no longer getting
their stuff. The leader of the strike is Josh, who is confined to the Amazon
package in which he was packed because if it is opened his body will come apart
and he’ll die. Josh quotes Marx a lot.
Meanwhile Jeff
Bezos comes to see the mayor. He has an enormous bald head with large veins
like a big brained mutant from a 50s science fiction movie and he speaks
entirely by telepathy. He is not happy with the strike and warns the mayor that
there will be dire consequences if it continues.
The kids are
wondering what they did to get their stuff before Amazon. Cartman struggles to
think and then finally says, “The m … mah … the mall?” The go to the mall and
it’s an abandoned distopian scene but inside they find that all the mall
employees are still there but they’ve been psychologically damaged by lack of
engagement with customers and they hide and hiss a lot like Golem from Lord of
the Rings.
Bezos spies on
everyone in South Park through Alexa.
Bezos kidnaps Josh
and has him killed by inviting children to open the box because there’s a
Christmas present inside. The result is not pretty.
The population of
South Park are wondering how they are going to get their Christmas presents
without Amazon but suddenly Santa Clause arrives. Everyone is happy and
relieved to see Santa and now they feel their worries are over. They cheer as
his sleigh comes in for a landing on the main street. Santa says, “I heard some
people here might need a little Christmas magic!” “We sure do Santa! It’s only
a couple of weeks until Christmas and we don’t have any presents!” Santa says,
“That’s no problem for the hometown of my favourite holiday poo! Where is Mr.
Hanky?” Everybody stops smiling and
they start looking guiltily at one another. Santa asks again, “Where is that
old bundle of Christmas cheer?” The mayor finally speaks up, “We … we had to
get rid of Mr. Hanky.” “Got rid of him?” Mr Mackey says, “Uh, Mr. Hanky did
something bad and we were forced to make him
… leave … forever.” Santa says, “Jesus! What did he do? Fuck a kid?” The
mayor answers, “No, he uh … He uh … tweeted some uh … inappropriate things.”
Santa repeats in a flabbergasted but mocking tone, “He tweeted some
inappropriate things! Oh you bunch of fucking … I’m getting back in my sleigh
now! Merry Christmas! Have fun sucking Jeff Bezos’s dick you bunch of cunts!”
and then he flies away.
Meanwhile the only
person that is thriving as a result of the Amazon shutdown is Randy because a
lot of people are coming out to his farm to buy pot. Towely gets the idea that
they can use those mysterious e-scooters to deliver pot and so they eventually
get the entire town high and they turn against Bezos. There are a lot of
country songs in this season and one song became the overall theme song. It’s
being song at the end when everybody’s poor, high and celebrating: “I guess you
might call us a bunch of white trash hicks, but at least we aint suckin no
Bezosian dicks!”
Another song
earlier in the show sounds like it’s sung by Randy but he is not shown singing
it. It’s called “Unfulfilled" - " ... Curtains close, all we were are
distant memories / Somebody just bitch-slapped the smile right off me / and
here I am so unfulfilled … The happiness I knew just got raped and killed and
here I am so unfulfilled / Nothing that I have seems like enough / All I’m left
to ask is where's my stuff?"
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