Monday Weld

            On Monday morning I found the lyrics for "Complainte du progrès" by Boris Vian and looked to see if anyone had posted their own translation, but there was no English version to be found. Usually when people do post translations of songs they don’t even try to make a working version but just the basic meaning in English. On the rare occasion when someone has tried to actually make their translation rhyme I find that my vision goes deeper into the meaning and there is no danger of us using the same words. Very rarely someone has said something that I might have said and so I find an alternative approach.

I’ll start my translation of the song on Tuesday morning but I think it’s basically a comical attack on modernity and the values we place on new gadgets, of course from the 1950s perspective in which it was written.

I finished working out the chords for “Banana Boat” by Serge Gainsbourg and started posting it on my Christian’s Translations blog.

I washed another eight boards of the living room floor behind my couch. In terms of the floor alone I’m pretty much exactly halfway done with that last stretch of floor at the back of the living room. But there is also a dresser to clean when I get to the southwest corner of the room and a bookshelf on top of that.

For lunch I had the channa masala that I got from the food bank, with some potato chips.

I did some exercises in the afternoon and then took a bike ride to St George and Bloor. Going south on St George I could see that frosh orientation week was in full swing with two main groups of students, one with yellow t-shirts and one with blue. Some of the ones with yellow t-shirts were also wearing yellow hard hats. I took Queen Street home.

When I came home I got caught up on my journal.

            I boiled three potatoes, heated the last two pieces of my chicken and some gravy, but I didn’t have time to eat because I had to take my ride over to Bike Pirates for Tom Sands to weld it.

            When I got there Tom told me to remove my back wheel. While I was removing the wheel another part of my dropout snapped. When Tom saw the damage he got the brilliant idea to remove a dropout from another bike and weld it on top of mine after the cracks had been welded. He put a frame in the vice and asked me to hacksaw the dropout off. I got three quarters of it done but then Tom took over. He sawed the dropout so it fit on top of mine exactly. He smoothed it out around the edges and filed the purple paint off.

            I took out my camera while Tom was welding and took pictures while looking away, but adjusting the camera position during pauses between the blasts of white heat. I also took some shots while he was working the grinder to take off the lumpy parts. Neither the welder nor the grinder is allowed while Bike Pirates is open, I guess for insurance reasons but they’re okay after hours.

            Tom advised me to paint the welded area as soon as possible to prevent it from getting rusty.

            Because of the extra width of the dropout the derailleur had to be adjusted, but it looks like I can’t get the top gear anymore. Tom said the large front chain-ring shouldn’t be used with the large rear sprocket anyway and that’s the only combination I can’t reach now. He advised me to use easier gears anyway because it’s better for the human body.

            I took my bike for a test drive and it felt great but when I came back Tom saw that my front wheel was off balance and adjusted it.

            We had agreed on $20 but after I saw how much work Tom put into it I offered him more but he refused. He said he only really did it because he knows my daughter and me.

            When I’d first asked Tom about welding my bike he said he could try but couldn’t guarantee the job. After doing it however he was pretty sure that it would last at least a year and probably a lot longer.

            I wonder if a professional welder would have even thought of welding another dropout on top of the broken one. I suspect they would have just welded the crack and that would have been it.

            Tom gave me the sad news that Bike Pirates will probably be moving out of Parkdale because their landlord is hiking their rent to $6000 a month. They probably wouldn’t be moving too far however because they have their eye on a place across the street from where their old shop used to be on Bloor Street.

            It was about 22:30 when I got home. I reheated the food I’d prepared and watched an episode of Wagon Train.

            The story begins in Dobe Flats with the Honourable Don Charlie in the bath and being waited on by his lover Tottie. The wagon train is approaching Dobe Flats and the big town of 150 is holding a special dance in honour of the passengers because they don’t see many strangers and they get tired of looking at each other all the time. Two passengers on the train, Julie Wharton and her Aunt Molly come into town looking for cologne but it’s not a cologne town. Don Charlie encourages Tottie to leave town and sees her off while at the same time noticing Julie enter the store. He comes to the rescue to offer a bottle of his own cologne. He is especially interested in Julie when he learns that she is about to inherit a fortune when she arrives in San Francisco. At the dance Don Charlie courts Julie. The Major however has heard of Don Charlie and knows him to be a bounder, a liar and a cheat. He insists on taking her back to the wagon train because they are leaving in the morning for San Francisco. Suddenly however they get word from a soldier that the wagon train cannot leave because there is Native activity along the trail. The next day Don Charlie goes picking lilacs but is attacked by gunfire from four indigenous warriors that slightly wound his hand. Flint happens to be riding by and chases them away. Don Charlie then asks Flint to deliver the flowers to Julie while he goes home to tend to his wound. This was all really part of an elaborate plot dreamed up by Charlie to keep Julie from leaving. The soldier had lied about the Native activity to repay a debt to Charlie and Charlie had paid the warriors to shoot at him so that Julie would run to tend his wounds. But before Julie gets there Tottie returns and Julie meets her. Tottie leaves at Charlie’s coaxing and Julie reveals that she wants to marry Charlie and stay in Dobe Flats with him. That would man she wouldn’t get her inheritance. He tries to break things off by telling Julie that he is married to Tottie, but when Tottie reveals it isn’t true Julie wants Charlie again. He confesses to b a bounder, a cheat and a liar but Julie says she wouldn’t have it any other way and invites him to come to San Francisco with her. A very unlikely story.

            Charlie was played by Cesar Romero, who played The Joker on the Batman TV show.

            Tottie was played by Virginia Grey, who started out acting at the age of ten in the silent film “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”. Her father was one of the Keystone Kops. She was close friends with Lana Turner and appeared in six films with her. Grey never considered herself an artist but rather an acting professional.

            Julie was played by Diane Brewster, who played Beaver’s teacher on “Leave it to Beaver”.