May 31, 1990: We Skipped Having Wings and Went to See Wings of Desire

Thirty years ago today

I called Heidi after work and told her we wouldn't have time to go for wings unless I went in my work clothes. She suggested we skip dinner and just go to the movie and so I had time to go home and change. I got to her place at 20:30 and gave her a copy of my first collage. We were just a couple of minutes late for the start of Wings of Desire but she found the film interesting. I'd seen it several times and I was a little sleepy. I ran into the artist Paula Latcham who used to hire me for private sessions.

Food Bank Adventures: Social Distance Done? Bite Your Tongue!

            On Saturday morning I worked out the chords for the instrumental introduction to “Flash Forward" by Serge Gainsbourg. I added the chords for the first few lines of the song, but since Gainsbourg is only talking again on this composition I based the chords on the tonality of his speech.

            During song practice it’s been getting increasingly more difficult to tune my guitar. Part of that is due to the extreme humidity of Toronto at this time of year but it’s also because I need a new guitar. I might start looking for one on Monday if I have $500 left over after paying the rent.

            During breakfast I bit my tongue very sharply. It was hard to tell at first if I was bleeding because I was eating cherries when I chomped down on the old word worm. A few weeks ago I had one of my teeth extracted and so now there is an edge on the lower left that hadn’t been there before. On top of that when one is eating cherries one must manoeuvre one’s teeth to avoid the stones and that put my tongue too close to the unfamiliar dental edge. I was definitely bleeding and my tongue hurt for the rest of the day, especially while eating. Fortunately the tongue is the fastest healing part of the body next to the cornea.

            At 9:45 I went to the food bank. My spot was the ugly pink heart but it was four social distancing hearts ahead of where I'd been the week before. All the hearts are getting pretty worn from being stood upon by impatient shuffling feet.

            Just ahead of me in line was a woman in her thirties whose boyfriend had gone to Tim Horton’s to get them coffee. Ahead of her was a very talkative middle aged man with long brown hair who chattered at the woman and her boyfriend for the whole time we were waiting and stood off his spot in their direction while doing it. 

            He said he didn’t like Tim Horton's coffee and preferred McDonald’s. There is a rumour that McDonald’s got the supplier that used to serve Tim Horton’s to make a special blend for them. Apparently McDonald’s uses Mother Parker's coffee, which long ago Tim Horton's used before it developed its own secret blend. There is a common complaint that Tim Horton's coffee has gotten weaker over the last few years since it was bought by a US company. I wouldn't know, since I haven’t had Tim Horton's coffee since long before that and I thought it was weak then and I hated having a machine determine how much cream went in my coffee. What if one wants less than a single squirt of cream? I can make a better cup of coffee at home with a French press than is offered in any gourmet café.

            Marlena came down the line handing out seedless cucumbers. She was giving everyone two but I still most of the one that I’d been given the week before and so I just asked for one. The line was short and so when she covered everyone she still had a couple left over and so someone ended up with four.

            A little later she brought out a couple of big boxes of bread and put them on the sidewalk across from the door. She called for everyone to come up and get bread if they wanted it. Around the bread , social distancing went out the window and people converged on the boxes. The bread consisted of bags of white buns and so I wasn’t interested. In a smaller box were bags containing three homemade chocolate chip cookies each. At first I was going to pass them up but Marlena said they were homemade and so I took one. I had one with breakfast the next day and it was delicious.

            A few minutes later a big box of oranges and apples was brought out and placed on the sidewalk beside the bread. At first no one was invited to come and get some fruit and only those that were close enough to see came forward. Finally Larissa called out that there was fruit. Once again we socially undistanced ourselves around the fruit. The oranges and apples were loose and so whatever one touched had been already massaged by everyone else’s grubby fingers. Of course that’s somewhat true for supermarket fruit as well, but fruit in grocery stores and at fruit stands is rarely as overripe as the fruit being offered at the food bank. So this fruit was being squeezed a lot more to find the best samples. They should be putting the fruit in little bags so there is less chance of contamination. Otherwise what’s the point of all of this social distancing?

            Back in our places I found that the boyfriend half of the couple in front of me had moved about half a meter closer to me while he was adjusting his cart and afterwards he just stayed in that position. I stepped back to keep my distance.

            The guy with the long hair said that he’ll be glad when this is all over and commented that he thinks it’s all bullshit. His evidence of that was that only old people have died and that they would be dying anyway from the flu or pre-existing conditions. Obviously any infectious disease would hit seniors harder but if the death rate has exceeded the average then Covid-19 is not bullshit.

            In 2018 the death toll of Canadians over 65 was 227,975. Statistics Canada has yet to complete its research to compare current deaths with those of years before in order to find out how many more people have died from the coronavirus. The official number of coronavirus deaths in Canada as of May 11 was 4,567 but there could be more and in many cases deaths caused by other illnesses could be assisted by the coronavirus. The Montreal Gazette had a 38% jump in obituaries in April compared to the same month a year before. British Columbia has reported a 2.7% historical increase in deaths for the months of March and April. Also, fear of catching the virus may inadvertently cause other deaths since in some emergency rooms the number of patients has dropped by 50% because people with life threatening issues are afraid to go to the hospital.

            The boxes of food were brought out and we were told to come forward, which caused more clustering of food bank clients. Marlena put my box on top of the gas pipes and she handed me a PC gift card which she said was worth $10. That was nice since I planned on going to No Frills after the food bank. All of the boxes were identical on the outside this time and all of them were for some stupid reason taped shut. I had to take out my keys to cut my box open. Laressa tried to tell me to go through my box someplace else because I was in the way. I told her that this was where Marlena put my box. Laressa nodded and walked away.

            I took less than half of what had been packed in my box. I picked a box of Triscuits with sea salt. There were four little almond bars called Kind Minis with the motto, “Ingredients you can see and pronounce”. “Kind” is a company founded by Daniel Lubetzky who has founded and co-founded several organizations, including One Voice, which seeks to resolve the Israeli-Palestine conflict at a grassroots level. Good luck with that.

            I selected a 400 gram bag of quinoa; a six-pack of little cans of V8; two cans of mushrooms; a tin of red kidney beans; another of hot and spicy pasta sauce; and what I thought were two cans of tuna, but they actually contained tuna with vegetables, sugar, tomato paste and tapioca starch.

            The middle aged blonde woman whom I’ve chatted with before was packing her stuff nearby and so I gave her everything I didn’t want, including the Cheerios, the jar of soy butter, two packs of spaghetti and two cans of tomato soup.

            There was no dairy, meat or eggs this time around. Some amount of dairy and eggs tend to be pretty much guaranteed at the food bank. Maybe the PC gift card was supposed to make up for their absence in the boxes.

Perhaps the food bank is still without a manager because it seemed very disorganized this week.

            I was home to put my things away before the food bank was officially supposed to open, so that was a good thing. I rode down to No Frills where I was disappointed to see that they only had green grapes but I got a couple of bags of those. I also grabbed a pint of strawberries, a half pint of raspberries, a pack of chicken legs, mouthwash and two containers of Greek yogourt. The gift card knocked my bill down to $36.

            It felt like it was going to be a warm day and so when I got home I opened the back door to the deck. I found both my second floor neighbours, Benji and Shankar out there.

Shankar told me he’s trying to lose weight and so he’s eliminating white food from his diet. He says that milk, white flour and other white foods are fattening. I told him he could become a cannibal and eat only brown people because white people are fattening.

For lunch I heated three of the spinach and feta rollini with some melted cheese slices on top.

I worked on my journal and started writing about my latest Food Bank Adventure.

For dinner I had my last four rollini with melted cheddar and a beer while watching two episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

In the first story Montfitchet the tax collector, who also happens to be the brother of the Sheriff of Nottingham, comes with his men to take every other goose, pig, sheep and chicken from the villagers. But a wanderer named Mark happens upon a little pig and steals it. Montfitchet demands that Mark hand the pig over but he escapes. Montfitchet and his second enter a barn where Mark is hiding. Sorel hates Montfitchet and wants his job and so while they are alone together Sorel stabs him and leaves. Montfitchet writes Sorel’s name on parchment in blood before he dies. Mark takes the parchment and is about to rob Montfitchet’s body when Sorel bursts in with the soldiers and says that Mark murdered Montfitchet. The villagers save Mark because they think he killed the tax collector and they chase the soldiers away. They take Mark to Robin Hood and present him as a heroic outlaw. At first Robin accepts Mark as a member of the band but he refuses to work and then he tries to rob some nuns on the road. The nuns beat him up and chase him away. Since Mark told the nuns that he was with Robin Hood, Robin must pay the mother superior a purse of gold for the orphans to keep her mouth shut. Meanwhile the sheriff is looking for his brother’s murderer and says he will hang a villager every day until Mark is surrendered to him. Robin discovers the parchment and figures out that it was Sorel that killed Monfitchet. Robin banishes Mark from Sherwood. The sheriff is about to hang the first villager when Robin shoots and arrow wrapped with the parchment. The sheriff reads it and kills Sorel.

In the second story Tom the Miller wants to sell his mill to Sir William because he thinks that it’s haunted by the Little People. But Robin learns that it’s Sir William that has convinced him of this. He has also poisoned Tom’s cats so that mice have overrun the mill and then suddenly the stream that turns the mill’s wheel has dried up. Robin’s men come to turn the stone to grind the grain while Robin, Marian and Tuck find out what happened to the stream. Marian figures that William couldn’t have simply dammed the stream because it would have flooded his own property. He must have diverted it which means that he flooded the property of Baron Mornay. If he stopped the stream from reaching Tom’s mill then he must also have stopped it from reaching the orchards of the abbey. Both the baron and the abbot come angrily to Sir William and he says he will return the stream to its normal course. Meanwhile the sheriff tries to capture Robin and his men when he learns they are at the mill. Three of the guards get pies in the face from Tom, Little John fights two more, Robin and the rest chase the sheriff and his men away. The stream returns to turn the wheel which knock out the two remaining soldiers.

Zena Walker

            On Friday morning I went on my Christian’s Translations blog to edit some more of “On n'est pas la pour se faire engueuler" (We Didn't Come Here to be Shouted At) by Boris Vian. But the day before that I tried out the new blogger that they said would be kicking in at the end of June. That was fine for Christian’s Blog but with Christian’s Translations I use "preview" a lot and the new blogger wouldn't even show my draft blog in preview. It just showed the last blog I’d published. So I switched back to the “legacy blogger” so I could edit it properly.

            I worked out most of the chords for the introduction to “Flash Forward" by Serge Gainsbourg.

            Around midday I finished cleaning the top bookshelves in my bedroom and put all the books in place. Next I’ve got to return to cleaning in the kitchen and wash the southern wall.

            In the afternoon I did my exercises while listening to Amos and Andy. This story was another rewriting of an old script. Andy dates a woman named Gertrude Thompson who is twenty five years younger and they start talking about marriage. She says she thinks he would make a wonderful husband. He decides to propose to her and buys a ring but the night he makes a date to pop the question Andy finds that Gertrude is out and her mother is home alone. Andy thinks that he is asking for the mother’s approval of his marriage to Gertrude but Gertrude has been seeing him because she's been looking for an older man to marry her mother. Andy thinks it's odd when the mother takes the ring from him but he assumes she’s going to give it to Gertrude. The next day it is in all the papers that Andy is engaged to the widow Thompson. To help Andy out Kingfish convinces Mrs Thompson that Andy is a serial killer who puts the bodies of women in trunks. She breaks the engagement but to play it safe Andy decides to leave town. But a detective comes to question him about being a trunk killer. Just then Kingfish comes in and says, “I took the trunk to the station like you asked.”

            It rained so I didn’t take a bike ride but I did go down to Freshco because I was out of fruit. Something new at the entrance was a security person spraying my hands before I went inside.

            I bought three bags of cherries, a bag of grapes, a pint of blueberries, a pack of chicken drumsticks and two cans of peaches.

            I got caught up on my journal.

            I made a video of my practise of my song “Insisting on Angels” from my July 27, 2017 rehearsal and I deleted the rest. I’ve got five more videos to go through. My plan has been to start recording new videos to upload to YouTube after I've cleared out all the old material but I don’t know if I can do it with my current guitar. The Oscar Schmidt that I have has been going out of tune a lot more than it did in 2017. I think the fret board needs to be repaired but it’s really just a starter guitar and any repairs would cost more than the original price of the guitar. It was actually a step down from the Epi that I bought in the mid 90s but I couldn’t afford to repair that either. My hope is to try to upgrade sometime soon if the guitar stores are open and if I have enough money.

            For dinner I had two small potatoes, a carrot and a chicken leg while watching Robin Hood.

            In the first story the son of the Count of Severne is being held for a ransom of five hundred crowns by Count Beaumont because he kissed the betrothed of his son Sir Guy. But Severne is forcing his starving serfs to pay the ransom even though he has plenty of money. When Sir Guy comes to collect the ransom he steals a kiss from Joan the barmaid at the Blue Boar. Robin kidnaps Sir Guy and holds him for the same amount of ransom that has been taken from the serfs. Count Beaumont pays the ransom but immediately goes to the sheriff. The sheriff hopes to catch Robin when he tries to redistribute the money to the poor. The sheriff pursues Robin to the church where Friar Tuck is holding a service. Robin disguises himself as a monk and the money has been placed in the collection plate and passed around with the instruction that each person takes their share. The sheriff’s men are bound by law to leave their weapons with the friar while they are searching for Robin. Tuck places the crossbows under the seats in the back row and whispers for people to kick the weapons forward. And so when Robin leaves through the back way and is spotted, the men have no weapons with which to shoot him as he rides away.

            The second story is more complicated. Princess Avice, the wife of Prince John secretly sends for Robin Hood. It turns out that John is divorcing his Saxon wife and marrying the much younger Isabella of Angoulême. Avice says she is relieved to be rid of John but he cannot be allowed to marry Isabella. If he does so Philip of France will recognize John as King of England and Richard will be deposed. She asks Robin to ride to Dover to meet Isabella after she arrives in England and to persuade her not to go through with the marriage. Robin shows up in Isabella’s room as Sir Guy De Liste, Count of Montaignes, Earl of Gloucestershire and Cornwall and loyal messenger of Prince John. He claims he’s been secretly sent to protect her by John to protect her against a plot to kill her. Five guards burst in, Robin fights them off and then escapes on his horse with Isabella. When they stop in a forest to rest Isabella reveals that she knows Sir Guy very well and that he is a little fat man with a beard. Robin asks why she came with him and she answers that she was curious to learn more of her future husband through his enemies. She calls to her guards who have been following the whole time and Robin is captured. They arrive in London and Robin appeals to Isabella again. He tells her that John is not powerful but she declares that she will make him strong. Robin asks what she would do if Robin Hood broke into the Tower of London, stopped her from signing her marriage contract and stole her dowry. She says that if John is so weak as to prevent such impossible occurrence she will burn the contract but she tells Robin that if it does not happen she will burn him at the stake. Robin is imprisoned but Princess Avice, under the pretence of bringing charity baskets of food for prisoners, frees him. Avice knows of secret passages in the tower that Prince John is unaware of. One of them leads to the Great Hall where the marriage contract is about to be signed. Just as Isabella is about to sign the contract Robin shoots and arrow into it. Prince John immediately hides under the table. Robin fights off several guards, steals Isabella’s diary and then seemingly disappears into a wall behind a curtain. Isabella burns the contract and leaves with Avice.

            But the real Isabella of Angoulême actually did marry John after he became king.

            Isabella was played with a fake but very charming French accent by Zena Walker, who was very successful in theatre and earned a Tony award for her performance on Broadway in "A Day in the Death of Joe Egg". She was a regular cast member of the British TV series “Man at the Top”.

            Princess Avice was played by Helen Cherry, a noted actor in Shakespearian plays, theatre, films and television. She met her husband of 44 years, Trevor Howard while crossdressing in the film, “The Recruiting Officer”. She was arrested in 1961 while protesting against nuclear arms. 

            

May 30, 1990: Yvette Said She Couldn't Live Up to My Wild Sexual Expectations

Thirty years ago today

When I came home from work Judy told me that Charlie had a package for me that "some black girl" had dropped off and so I went up to get it. It was a bag containing the records that I'd left at Yvette's place as well as the little shaver that she'd promised me. I thought to myself, "Uh oh!" I immediately called her and the phone rang three times before I noticed that there was also an envelope in the bag. I hung up to open it and found inside a pissed off letter in which she wrote that she couldn't live up to my wild sexual expectations. She added that as far as she and Jennifer were concerned I couldn't have my cake and eat it too.

I called Yvette and she said that I could come over on Friday but I would not be allowed to spend the night.

That night I went out with Jennifer. We had planned on going to a movie but stayed on in the bar instead. She was very good at sticking with the present and not rushing to catch up with future moments.

We comforted each other because we'd both had bad days.

Brenda de Banzie

            On Thursday morning I finished memorizing “Flash Forward" by Serge Gainsbourg. I didn't look for the chords yet. It's another song in which Gainsbourg talks rather than sings but there is eerie music in the background.

            Around midday I finished categorizing according to the U of T library system the contents of the upper book shelves in my bedroom. I still have to organize the papers that are piled up on the southern shelf and then wash both of them before putting the books back.

I was going to go to Freshco today but I was running late for lunch and besides it started raining.

            For lunch I mixed Campbell’s bean and bacon soup with salsa and had it with kettle chips.

            In the afternoon I did my exercises while listening to Amos and Andy. The story was a rehash of an older one about Kingfish cheating Andy by selling him an old and useless racehorse. But with the help of Amos, Andy tricks Kingfish into thinking the horse had just won a big race because he thinks he’s listening to the race on the radio, but it was actually a recording. The result is that Kingfish buys what he thinks is a winning horse back from Andy. 

            Because of the rain I didn't take a bike ride. I got caught up on my journal.

            I made a video of my practice of my song “Sixteen Tons of Dogma” from my July 26, 2017 rehearsal and then deleted the rest of the session. I was still struggling with the lyrics and the chords back then so it’s interesting to chart my progress. I’ve still got six sessions to go through and once I’m done with those I’ll probably start recording some new ones.

            I went through the papers on the upper southern shelf in my bedroom. I threw away most of them and most of the rest were tossed into a drawer for scrap paper. The only thing I saved for the shelf was a Philosophy of Sex notebook, a Knowledge and reality exam and a Canadian Short Stories essay. It feels good to de-clutter my space.

            I cut up a whole chicken and rubbed the parts with olive oil, seasoned salt and cayenne and roasted it. I had a leg with a potato, a carrot and some gravy while watching two episodes of Robin Hood.

           In the first story Sir Richard of the Lea believes his financial troubles are over when he hires an alchemist to make gold for him. A demonstration is staged with Robin, Marian and Richard's goldsmith present. After a small amount of gold is produced the goldsmith confirms that it is gold and then leaves. The alchemist tells Richard that in order to make the precious metal on a larger scale he requires a large amount of money to buy certain alchemical ingredients. Richard gives him three hundred crowns. The goldsmith goes directly to the sheriff to tell him that Richard plans to send some of the gold he makes to King Richard, which would be treason against Prince John. That night Robin catches the alchemist sneaking away. He sends Will to inform Richard but then the sheriff arrives. The sheriff arrests Will. Robin shoots a message tied to an arrow with a golden head offering the sheriff the alchemist in exchange for Will. Another demonstration takes place and the sheriff is satisfied enough to make the exchange. Later Robin shows Richard that he's learned how the alchemist produced gold. It was a trick using a hollow stirring stick with a little gold inside, stopped up with wax. When the stick was placed in the hot liquid the wax melted and the piece of gold slipped into the cauldron.

            In the second story, as Robin’s camp always needs a guest for dinner Little John stops a lord and lady riding on the road. The man abandons Lady Pomfret and rides away in fear. Lady Pomfret comes for dinner at the camp and explains that the man that ran away was Percival, whom she had hired to pose as her husband who has been in the Holy Land but is now in France and on his way home. Norman law states that if a wife’s husband has been away from home for seven years then he is officially declared dead even if he has sent word indicating that he is alive. Also under Norman law a wife does not inherit her husband’s estate but it is rather passed on to the crown. The next day the seven years would be up and Le Blond the Earl of Braxton will take possession of her estate. Robin decides to pose as Lord Pomfret. But while they are on their way there Le Blond is already preparing to claim the castle. Percival shows up claiming to be Lord Pomfret but Le Blond does not believe him since he doesn’t even know where his own bedroom is. Robin is more convincing but Le Blond is still suspicious. He goes to fetch the Sheriff of Nottingham, who knows Lord Pomfret. Meanwhile the real Clarence Pomfret returns and seeing Robin playing the role of lord of the manner, draws his sword. Robin easily defeats Pomfret and then convinces him that he’s been trying to help. The sheriff arrives and recognizes Pomfret. He leaves, calling Le Blond an idiot.    

            Lady Pomfret was played by Brenda de Banzie, who was an award winning actor in the British theatre. She was also critically acclaimed for her film performances, including “The Entertainer” and David Lean’s “Hobson’s Choice”. Her father was an orchestra conductor who played before Queen Victoria on several occasions.

May 29, 1990: Yvette Was Trying to Get Me to Make a Decision Between Her and Jennifer

Thirty years ago today

Nancy went with me to the library to help me take out some books on her card. She told me that she wouldn't be able to go out for wings with Heidi and I on Thursday because she would be starting a juice fast.

Yvette and I talked on the phone and she was really trying hard to get me to make a decision between her and Jennifer. She got me to offer a comparison and I told her that Jennifer was more affectionate at that time. She coaxed me into asking questions about her off the top of my head. I inquired mostly about her sexuality and how far she would venture towards the bizarre end of the spectrum. I told her about my ex-girlfriend Brenda having made love in a public stairwell and on the hood of a sports car in a parking lot. I also described some of the mild s & m experiences that I'd had.

Beethoven Rolled Over on Top of Zombie Hitler

            On Wednesday morning I had the first twenty lines of “Flash Forward” by Serge Gainsbourg memorized and only had six left to go.

            I worked on my journal.

            I finished listening to the U2 discography. The real star of this band is The Edge. The only innovative elements added to the sound of this band come from him. His style is very minimalist and he seems in his guitar style to be a hybrid of Keith Richards and Pete Townsend. He’s also a better singer than Bono. Bono's lyrics tend to be drawn from clichés and they tend to be more message than art. Where there is more message than art there is pretension. They do have some good songs but none of them break any ground, which is what a work of art is supposed to do. Arcade Fire does everything that U2 tries to do but they do it artistically and without being full of themselves.

            Around midday I started organizing the top bookshelf in my bedroom. Some of the books are already listed in an index that I started a few years ago, categorized according to the Library of Congress system that U of T uses. I looked up the codes for some of the books I’ve acquired since then and added them to the list.

            For lunch I had five of the rollini that I'd cooked the night before, this time with melted process cheese on top, but they were still a bit bland.

            I went out to the liquor store and bought a six-pack. All of the employees there are now wearing full plastic face shield visors.

            In the afternoon I didn’t do my exercises but did take a bike ride downtown. It was my first bike ride of the year in shorts. I rode to Yonge and Bloor and then south on Yonge to Queen. I noticed that Homesense is now open and there was a very long line-up.

            I got caught up on my journal.

            I flipped several photos that I’d scanned the wrong side up with the negative scanner.

            I put seven of the spinach and feta rollini in the oven and melted five year old cheddar on top of each one. I had them with a beer while watching the Playhouse 90 production of “Judgement at Nuremberg” from 1959. This teleplay was four years later made into a critically acclaimed motion picture. Coincidentally I had earlier that day listened to Chuck Berry's 1957 first album "After School Session" and so the dark intensity of the teleplay stood in stark contrast to the upbeat optimism of Chuck Berry's songs. Chuck Berry may have been in reform school for armed robbery at the end of World War Two, but when he later caused Beethoven to roll over it was on top of Hitler and thus Hitler’s zombie was never able to return.

But a more bizarre and inappropriate contrast came from the commercials that were aired right after real footage of Nazi atrocities had been shown. After a part that showed documentary footage of Nuremberg’s persecution of the Jews and Hitler’s famous Nuremberg rally, there was a Kleenex commercial with a perky spokeswoman. The most disturbing scene was of British bulldozers ploughing mountains of corpses of Holocaust victims into massive pits because they had no choice for the sake of public health but to bury the bodies as quickly as possible. After that scene was an Ansco camera and film products commercial showing how their film will bring out the blue in a little blonde girl’s eyes.

            The trial was a fictionalized presentation of the Nuremberg judges trial. In reality a much larger number of judges were tried but in this story there were only four.

The prosecution brought up certain incidents that it argued the judges were responsible for, such as cases forced sterilization, the execution of a Jewish man because he had a physically affectionate relationship with a sixteen year old girl. The prosecution’s main evidence was documentary footage of the Holocaust itself.

            The defence attorney rightly argued that Oliver Wendell Holmes, in the United States argued for forced sterilization. It isn’t mentioned there but it has been put in practice in both the United States and Canada, especially against Indigenous people, even up until very recently.

            A woman was put on the witness stand to testify that she had been the sixteen year old girl who had been seen sitting on the Jewish man’s lap and kissing him. She argued that he had been like a father to her and she had been physically affectionate with him in a non-sexual manner.

            One of the judges suddenly pleaded guilty in the middle of the trial but he was still sentenced to life in prison. Another got life, another twenty years and another ten. Apparently none of them were still in prison by the time the show aired in 1957.

May 29, 1990: She Apologized for not Snuggling in Bed or Holding Hands on the Street

Thirty years ago today

           I figured that I should maintain contact with Heidi and so I called her and we talked for quite a while. I invited her out for wings on Thursday and to afterwards go see Wings of Desire, and she said okay. I had asked both Yvette and Jennifer but neither could go.

           I called Yvette right after Heidi and I hung up. Apparently she'd been trying to reach me because the first thing she said was, "You talk on the phone more than any woman I know!" She apologized for not snuggling with me in bed or holding my hand on the street. She explained that it took a while for her to open up. She invited me to her place the next Friday to have dinner and to spend the night.

The Sweet Distance of the Upside Down Past

            On Tuesday morning, since it was my birthday I gave myself a break from memorizing “Flash Forward” by Serge Gainsbourg.

            For song practice I did mostly only the songs that I especially enjoy singing.

            At around 8:30 I went to Freshco to look for something interesting to have for breakfast. They had cherries but they were quite expensive and so I only got one bag. I grabbed strawberries, Bavarian sandwich bread and five year old cheddar. They had a new item called salami chips and I was curious enough to get a bag. I picked up jalapeno kettle chips, Hagen Das vanilla ice cream, lemon dish detergent and rice crackers. Folgers dark coffee was on sale for $4 less than usual. What I found for breakfast were frozen Portuguese custard and egg tarts. For dinner I bought a pack of frozen spinach and feta rollini.

            I had three of the custard tarts with coffee for breakfast. They were sweeter than I expected or wanted them to be but the shells were good.

            Last year I bought a negative and slide scanner from Nick Cushing but never tried to use it until today. I was worried that there would be a steep learning curve but it was fairly simple. It was difficult at first to figure out which way up to put the negatives as some of the photos came out as mirror images and I had to flip them later. Also when I tried to upload the first set of photos to my computer I clicked on "format" instead of the usb symbol and ended up erasing my scans, so I had to do them again.

            I scanned four frames from the early 1980s that were of my girlfriend Whitefeather and I when were travelling up to Uxbridge on some weekends to visit her son who was imprisoned at a horrible Catholic reform school called St John’s Training School. One shot shows me doing the Scorpion yoga pose in the middle of the driveway of the school. There was only one shot of Whitefeather but I do have other pictures of her in other envelopes.

            Another set that I scanned were photos of my daughter Astrid, my ex-girlfriend Dorita and myself at my place in 1998. Boy was this apartment a mess in those days! It still could be considered a mess now but comparatively the difference is drastic. It was like a hurricane and torn through.

            I had fun with the scanner and now that I know how to use it I’ll try to get all my old negs and slides digitized. But I’ve got lots of other stuff to do as well so it will take a long time. 

            For lunch I went to get a spinach and potato roti at Ali’s. I've been buying roti from Ali's for years and they've always been good but maybe this time the clerk misunderstood my order. The roti had spinach and some potatoes but the rest of it was full of all these nasty vegetables like celery and cabbage. It was disgusting. I had it with a beer and got on with my day.

            I had some of the rollini for dinner with two beers. It wasn’t bad but the feta could have been sharper. It tasted more like ricotta.

            I watched two episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

            In the first story Prince John is coming to Nottingham and the whole shire is required to provide food and lodging for the prince and his entourage. A deserter from the Crusades named Lucas is transporting barrels of fine wine to Nottingham. While his driver sits at the reins, Lucas has decided to take a nap in the wagon. In Sherwood Forest Robin and his men confiscate the wagon and take it back to their camp, not noticing Lucas. Lucas watches from under the hay and sees that Lady Marian Fitzwalter is an associate of Robin Hood. When Robin learns that his friend, the penniless Sir Richard of the Lea will be forced to entertain four guests, he decides to take some of the wine to Richard’s castle. Lucas continues to hide in the wagon and then slips inside Sir Richard’s castle. After Robin leaves Lucas boldly approaches Richard to blackmail him with the information he has acquired about his and Marian’s relationship with outlaws and their disloyalty to Prince John. Richard agrees to pay the 1000 crowns but has no money and so he signs a promissory note saying that he will pay when the harvest comes in. When Lucas has the note he says that it will serve as proof to the sheriff that Richard and Marian are traitors and he will be rewarded beyond what he asked for in blackmail. Richard and Lucas sword fight but Richard is not very good and Lucas escapes. When Robin hears of this he is sure that the sheriff has not received the news right away because he is busy outside of Nottingham making preparations for John’s arrival. Robin goes to Nottingham and occupies the sheriff’s chair. There are people outside waiting for an audience with the sheriff and Lucas is among them. Friar Tuck tells Lucas he can enter and he speaks to the back of the sheriff’s chair. Robin asks to see the note and after Lucas hands it over he reveals himself as Robin Hood. He asks Lucas how he thinks he has avoided capture for so long under the sheriff’s jurisdiction. Lucas does not know and Robin explains that it’s because he and the sheriff are in league. Robin tells Lucas to leave town but he stays and approaches the sheriff and the captain of Prince John’s soldiers. He tells the captain that the sheriff is in league with Robin Hood and the sheriff kills Lucas with his sword.

            In the second story there is a surgeon named Calend in Nottingham who turns out to be a runaway serf. The law states that if he can remain free within the city walls for one year and a day he will be a free man. One year has passed but in the final day the soldiers are closing in on him. While Calend is treating Little John for a serious wound Robin poses as Calend and makes several legally documented appearances throughout the city. He visits a lawyer, Marian and several others that keep ledgers. Finally Calend is taken to hide in plain view in the sheriff’s audience waiting room while the sheriff is out trying to capture him. The one year and a day passes just as the sheriff arrives to arrest Calend. He is a free man. 

May 27, 1990: I was Disappointed She didn't like to Snuggle after Sex

                                     

Thirty years ago today 

I spent the night at Yvette's place but was disappointed that she didn't like to snuggle in bed after sex and that the night before she hadn't wanted to hold hands on the street. She liked it when I went down on her though and it was so nice to hear her moaning heighten in pitch as she approached orgasm.

She went to brunch with some old friends and I went home. She came over to my place quite a bit later and I showed her my artwork and photographs. We went out to buy roti and brought it back to my place. A while after eating she went home.

Nancy came over and told me that she had a date for the next day. She'd asked a guy at work to go out with her.

I made love to her but I came very quickly on penetration and then was too soft to keep going.

Alan Wheatley

            On Monday morning I memorized the first twelve lines of “Flash Forward" by Serge Gainsbourg.

            I worked on my journal for most of the day.

            I had sardines and yogourt with honey for lunch.

            I didn’t do my exercises or take a bike ride in the afternoon because I wanted to get caught up on my journal.

            I had my last chicken leg, a potato and a carrot with gravy for dinner while watching the first two episodes of the second season of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

            In the first story, Wat, one of Robin's men is distracted from his duties because he is in love Winifred. He confesses to Robin that he only made up the story that he was wanted by Prince John. He only wanted to be an outlaw because he ran away from his master over the fact that Sir Godfrey, the lord of the manor married Winifred off to an evil old man. Now that the old man has died he has hopes of winning her back. Meanwhile the Bailiff Baldwin, who is also in love with Winifred comes with a hariant to claim the legal title of the taxes she owes over the burial of her husband.  According to custom with the death of the serf the lord may claim the best beast and chattel and products thereof.  Baldwin hopes that Winifred’s plight will become so desperate that she will have no choice but to marry him. He calls her a buxom head of cabbage. She throwing cabbages at him as he leaves. Then Friar Tuck arrives to appeal to Winifred on behalf of Watt. She angrily demands to know why he doesn’t come himself. Tuck says Watt is shy. She says she knows that very well since she had to marry an old man while waiting for Wat to propose. Wat goes to see Winifred but she has gone to appeal to Godfrey. He is met instead by Baldwin who tells Watt that he is going to marry Winifred. Watt attacks Baldwin and is arrested. Godfrey tells Winifred if she can’t pay the rent in one week she will have to marry Baldwin. Winifred assures him the rent will be paid. She begins to work with determination. Meanwhile Watt is punished by being placed in stocks for a week. When Winifred comes by with a cart of her freshly ground flour she throws some in Wat’s face. Baldwin comes and tells her that he is entitled to take her grindstone, her cart and her flour. She says for him to take it but she will still work night and day to raise the rest. Baldwin tells her that it’s time for her labour of love of working in the lord's fields and so she won't have much time for her own harvest. Friar Tuck finds Baldwin picking mushrooms and warns them that the brownies will be angry that he is taking away their homes and they might shave him as punishment. Robin puts a sleeping potion in a bottle of wine and Wat takes it to Winifred. Baldwin is already there worried about the brownies shaving his moustache. Winifred says they will celebrate because in the morning she’ll marry the bailiff. They all fall asleep and Robin, his men, Marian and Tuck all set to work bringing in Winifred's harvest. Little John shaves Baldwin’s head and half his moustache and Marian puts a mushroom in his hands. Winifred wakes to find that her rent has been made and Baldwin thinks the brownies have taken his hair. Finally Winifred says she’s waited long enough and demands that Wat propose.

            In the second story Tuck is summoned by the abbot of a monastery where the scientist Albertus of Oxford is a guest. Like many men of science his books are controversial under the rule of Prince John but the authorities are particularly interested in capturing Albertus. The abbot asks Tuck to use his connections to provide passage through Sherwood Forest for Albertus. The captain of Prince John’s guard arrives with his men looking for Albertus. Tuck goes to the library to help Albertus escape. They go out the window and the captain sees them running. They go into a cottage where wine is kept. Somehow Tuck knocks out a soldier by smashing a bottle of wine over his helmet. They escape the abbey over the wall. It is cloudy and so Tuck can’t navigate back to Robin’s camp without the sun or the stars. But Albertus has an early compass and they find their way although scientists at this time do not know why it works. They think it might be attracted to the north star. Albertus wants Robin to help him get to the house of Sir Roger of Danby where he can hide and work in peace. Albertus explains that Prince John wants him to develop a weapon with a giant lens that can be used to focus sunlight and destroy King Richard’s ships with a ray of heat. He demonstrates with a small magnifying glass how it could be done by setting fire to some leaves. Robin and Albertus travel alone but when they get there Robin sees the Sheriff of Nottingham through the window. Roger greets Albertus and Robin pretends to leave. Roger betrays Albertus as the sheriff has threatened his peace if he does not turn Albertus in. The sheriff says that Albertus has only to recreate his notes on the design of the weapon. The sheriff threatens Albertus with torture in Nottingham if he does not cooperate. They are to spend the night at Roger’s castle and then leave at dawn. Robin goes back to Sherwood to get five of his men. The six of them come back disguised as soldiers. They intercept the sheriff and his men as they escort Albertus and rescue him. In the arrow fight Albertus is shot in the back. They send the sheriff and his men running but Albertus is dying. Back at the camp he asks for his notes and then uses a lens to burn them, saying the weapon would be too frightful to use on anyone. Then Albertus dies. 

            The Sheriff of Nottingham is played by Alan Wheatley, who in 1951 played Sherlock Holmes in the first TV series devoted to the character. He was also the first character to be exterminated by a Dalek in Doctor Who.

May 26, 1990: Yvette was my only girlfriend who held back from first having sex until my birthday.

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May 25, 1990: My 29 year old Girlfriend Jennifer Got Asked for I.D.

Thirty years ago today

Nancy gave me some nice birthday presents: a cup of strawberries with whipped cream, a talking alarm clock that looks like a flying saucer and a classy wooden handled umbrella.

I talked to Jennifer on the phone and she told me to be at her place at 20:30 sharp.

I danced at Jennifer's place and drank a couple of beers and then we went out to the Blue Boy Cafe. It wasn't that great but it was nice hanging out and having fun with Jennifer.

We tried to get into the Range but twenty-nine year old Jennifer got asked for identification when she wasn't carrying any.

We arrived back at her place just before midnight and started making love.

My Old Place

            On Sunday I finished posting “Transit à Marilou” by Serge Gainsbourg and then memorized the first four lines of his song "Flash Forward".

            I worked on writing about the previous day’s Food Bank Adventure. While researching the history of the building beside which we line up I also looked up my own building and found a photograph of it from the mid 70s when one of the chain of BiRite clothing stores owned by the landlord was just going out of business after twenty years. There was a big sign on the window of what is now my living room advertising that what twenty years later would become my apartment was for rent.

            The Parkdale Village Historical Society website mentions that my building was constructed in 1885 for Thomas Wood. But someone named “Woods” owned part of lots 4-6. Parkdale had its own address numbering system that was independent of Toronto and so instead of 1404 Queen West the number would have been much smaller. Benjamin Wood was a stationer at 108 Queen and Catharine Woods sold dry goods at 156 Queen. My building has a Second Empire style mansard roof with Italianate dormer windows on the third floor.

            Around midday I washed the hearth area of my kitchen mantel. The area has blue sheet metal covering the opening to what used to be the fireplace. Years ago I plastered it all over because the area was infested with cockroaches. Some of the sheet metal is showing through again but I got the plastered area cleaned a little whiter. The last time I saw a cockroach in my apartment was when I killed one on Christmas day and that was the first I’d seen in several months. My neighbour Benji and I had worried that when the Coffeetime closed down there would be cockroaches moving up to us but nothing happened. Benji said he has seen a few so I guess the building isn’t totally rid of them.

            I had a turkey and cheese sandwich on a bagel for lunch.

            I didn’t exercise or take a bike ride in the afternoon because I wanted to get my Food Bank Adventure finished.

            For I had a fried egg and a toasted bagel with a beer while watching two episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

            The first story begins with Robin pranking Tuck and then they wrestle like boys. They end up betting whether Tuck can make more money by praying than Robin can by begging. Tuck’s first stop is an inn where he learns that retired Norman soldiers have started an abbey so they can scrounge off the villagers. A the tavern Tuck sings “Jolly Good Ale and Old” which was written by William Stevenson 200 years after the era in which this story is set. “I cannot eat but little meat/ My stomach is not good/ But I do think that  can drink with all that weareth the hood/ Though I go bare I nothing care/ I nothing am a cold/ I stuff my skin so full within of jolly good ale and old.” Tuck latches on to the two Norman monks and travels with them to teach them a lesson. Meanwhile Robin encounters a beggar and tells him he’d like to try his hand at the profession. The beggar tells him that he would have to apprentice for years before he’d have a copper in his hand. Robin engages the man in a knife throwing contest in exchange for pieces of one another’s clothing. The beggar is a good shot but Robin deliberately throws just short of winning. He ends up with all of the beggar’s clothes. Now dressed as a beggar, Robin comes across the camp of a gang of beggars who say they prey on farm wives whose husbands are away and take their purses. The beggars suspect Robin is a spy and attack him. He fights them off and takes their money to return it to Mistress Rawlins, whom they robbed. Meanwhile Tuck forces the two Norman monks to stop at the shrine of St Cedric who he claims is the patron saint of brewers, gamblers and riders on donkeys. (Cedd was a Saxon bishop but I can find no reference to him being a patron of those things. The patron saint of brewers is St Arnold of Soissons). Tuck prays that these two monks will no longer be penniless as they claim and then reaches into their robes to pull from each a bag of coins. Meanwhile one of the beggars that Robin fought recognized that he was Robin Hood and goes to tell the sheriff’s lieutenant that Robin is on his way to the home of Mistress Rawlins. Rawlins recognizes and welcomes Robin and he returns her money. Suddenly the sheriff’s men arrive and Robin escapes. He runs into Tuck who helps him to hide. Tuck won the bet.

            The second story was the last of the first season. The story begins with someone we can’t see singing the 19^th Century song “All Around My Hat”: “I never could refuse her whatever she’d a mind to but now she’s far away, far away across the sea. So all around my hat I will wear a green willow/ All around my hat for a twelve month and a day/ If anybody asks me the reason why I wear it/ It’s all because my true love is far, far away”. It turns out that the song is in a dream that Prince John is having. Marian arrives at Robin’s camp to tell him that Prince John has announced that King Richard is dead and that he will be crowned king the next day. Both Marian and Robin head for London separately. All they know is that the last courier from King Richard vanished as soon as he reported to Prince John. Robin poses as a fabric peddler and meets a maid from the palace. He charms her into inviting him there to watch the ball from her room. But as she leads the way to her chamber he lags behind and sneaks off. At the ball Marian tells Robin that she’s learned that John wears a key to the dungeon around his neck. Robin scales the wall to John’s bedchamber. John’s jester Jacques gives John a sleeping potion and takes the key from John’s neck with the intention of killing King Richard’s courier. Robin knocks him out and takes the key. Robin finds the courier in the dungeon and recognizes him as having been his father’s courier. Blondel has Richard’s signet as proof that the king lives. They run to Sally the maid’s room for help to escape. She’s pissed off but when she learns who he is she helps him. The coronation is about to take place but the archbishop arrives with Blondel and reveals that he has learned that Richard is alive. The disappointed Prince John lets his kingly robe drop to the floor. 

           

May 24, 1990: Yvette Didn't Like the Film "9 1/2 Weeks" as Much as I Did, Since She Kicked Me Out After We Watched it

Thirty years ago today

After work I met Yvette at the Royal York subway station. On our way to look for a place to eat before the movie we passed the cinema and noticed on the marquee that the movie would be starting at 22:15 instead of 21:00 as we'd read in the paper. We finished dinner around 21:00 and got tired of waiting and so Yvette suggested that we just rent the video and watch it at her place.

The film was "Nine and a Half Weeks" and it was quite good. Each frame was a great photograph and the soundtrack was also excellent. I don't think that Yvette liked it as much as I did since she kicked me out at midnight.

Food Bank Adventures: Parkdale Mansions

            On Saturday morning I finished memorizing “Transit à Marilou” by Serge Gainsbourg. I didn't expect to find the chords posted since it's more of a recitation with a beat behind it than a song, but I looked anyway because I was curious if anyone had anything to say about the beat. There was nothing posted and so I started trying to work out an instrumentation for it based on the beat. The percussion does have a series of tone changes that repeat continuously in the same pattern of about five notes, ascending and descending. I worked out half the chords that I think communicate the rhythm and I’ll finish it on Sunday. I won't have to place the chords with the lyrics but just show the five of them at the beginning and indicate that they just repeat.

            I worked on my journal.

            At 9:45 I went to the food bank. As I walked down the line, a few people smiled and greeted me, including the woman I’d given the cantaloupe to the week before. My place in line was the final heart, the baby blue one just before Beaty Avenue. I took out my book of French stories and continued reading "The Return of the Prodigal Son” by André Gide. As in the Bible, the prodigal son is received with open arms by his father and there is a great celebration. But the older brother is resentful that his sibling is received without punishment. Also the speaker compares Jesus to the prodigal son as being the prodigal son of god. 

            The apartment building at the corner of Queen and Beaty has two addresses. On Queen Street the number is 1501 but on the side street there’s another entrance addressed as 93 Beaty. The building was originally called The Parkdale Mansions and it is designated under part 4 of the Ontario Heritage Act as having cultural value because it is an example of Edwardian Classicism which returned to symmetrical designs with detailing inspired by Greek and Roman architecture. The building at the other end of the block at 1495 Queen and around the corner at 194 Dowling is a mirror image of 1501 Queen and 93 Beaty and was also called The Parkdale Mansions, although now it is known as Edmond Place. Both buildings were erected in 1912, but they’re just kids compared to my place at Queen and O’Hara, which went up in 1885.

            Two tenants of 93 Beaty were chatting on the steps but one of them was smoking and the south wind was blowing it right by me and so I stepped back two meters. A short young woman with dark hair approached me and asked if I was in line. I explained that my spot was the blue heart and that hers was where I was standing, and I stepped away. I put my backpack down on the baby blue heart and went to the south west corner of Beaty and Queen , to stand in the sunshine and read. It was quite warm and pleasant there but very bright. After a while I moved back to my heart.

            Marlena came down the line with a shopping cart of cantaloupes and everybody got two.

            Peter came along with his tablet to check people in. I’d forgotten my membership card but my birthday was enough. Peter noticed that my birthday was coming up. I told him it’s a national holiday and he could have the day off.

            Just before 10:30 the food was brought out. I love how social distancing has cut down our wait time.

            I only kept about half of the stuff in the box that I was given. I took the cans of coconut milk, sardines, bean with bacon soup, cream of celery soup and pasta sauce.

There was also a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing, which I was surprised to learn is the company started in 1954 in California by Steve Henson, the plumber who invented ranch dressing a few years earlier in Alaska. If this was the original ranch dressing company I would think it would be good, but this was also zero fat ranch dressing and I assume when Hansen was whipping it up in the Alaskan bush he wasn’t adding twenty chemicals to it on top of the main ingredients of mayonnaise, sour cream, buttermilk, garlic, onion, chives and dill. It really didn't taste that great, especially after I saw that the company has been owned by the makers of Clorox bleach since 1972.

I got a small carton of 2% milk, two eggs, two small fruit bottom yogourts, a tangerine and a seedless cucumber. But the best score was a pack of tomato-basil turkey slices.

There was no bread in my box, which was a first since we’ve been doing the social distancing box thing. Not that I needed any but it was curiously absent.

There were also a couple of non-food items. One was a bar of Clean the World soap. Clean the World is an organization that sanitizes and recycles soap, shampoo and other amenities from the hotel industry. Since 2009 they have distributed more than 45 million bars of soap to children and families in 127 countries and have diverted 7 million kilos of waste from landfills. My bar looks like a piece of marble and smells pretty good.

The other non-food item was a little bottle of “Dirty" tooth tabs from Lush. The bottle says they are loaded with spearmint and neroli oils. The instructions say to chew a tab and then brush. I tried one the next day. The taste is overwhelming and bitterly minty but somewhat numbs the tongue. I prefer the sweet, minty and slightly salty taste of my Arm and Hammer baking soda toothpaste.

There’s a mountain of a man who I’ve seen in front of PARC ever since the food bank moved to the same building. He would still be enormous even if he didn’t have a shred of fat on his body but he has lots. He chats easily with strangers as if he’s known them his whole life but he’s kind of a cross between being neighbourly and annoying. As I was taking the stuff out of the box, putting some things on the side and stuffing other items in my backpack, he was suddenly looming over me like an overstuffed vulture. He told me he’d take the ranch dressing from me if I didn’t want it. I hadn't tasted it yet and I told him that I'd be keeping it. I offered him the big box of generic cheerios and the pasta that I’d been given but he didn't want those. He still stood over me for an uncomfortable time before moving away.

I gave several items to the young woman behind me. She didn’t take my cereal or the cream of celery soup I offered her because she only had one cloth shopping bag and it was already heavy. She took my pasta. She was surprised that I wanted to giver her my big pack of process cheese slices, but I told her I had lots of cheese at home. I'd received another pack of fifty slices the week before and had only used five. I gave her quite a few other things including a little pack of bread sticks with cheese whiz and some envelopes of instant oatmeal. She tried to give me her cucumber but I told her that one would go bad if I took two. She appreciated what I gave her and I left with what I'd decided to take, in a good mood. I still had a box of cereal to give away and near my bike, the middle aged blonde woman who I’d chatted with a couple of weeks before took it off my hands, saying it was her favourite kind. I said the best parts of Cheerios are the holes.

I was relieved in more ways then one to be done with the food bank early. I’d had to pee ever since I got there.

            I went home to put my food away and then went out to the supermarket. At No Frills there was no line-up. I bought seven bags of red grapes, two half pints of raspberries, and some mouthwash. I finally remembered to buy fine sea salt at No Frills. I always seem to remember to look for it at Freshco but all they ever have there is the course kind. I got a container of black cherry skyr and I splurged on three Hagen Das ice cream bars, since my birthday was coming up. At the checkout counter the cashier pointed out that my skyr was past its expiration date and offered to wait for me to get another and so I did. I appreciated her being so conscientious.

            For lunch I had a toasted turkey, cheese and cucumber sandwich.

            I didn’t do any exercises in the afternoon and I didn’t take a bike ride because I wanted to get caught up on my journal.

            For dinner I had a fried egg with a piece of toast and a beer while watching two episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

            The first story was a Halloween episode. It begins with Robin, Marian and Derwent finding two boys bullying and trying to burn another boy named Harold because he said he’d seen a ghost murder his father and because he is friends with a hunchback. Robin scares the bullies away by telling them that on All Hallows Eve the devil walks the woods disguised as a bowman hunting for souls. They learn that Harold’s father was killed by the ghost of the Viking that built his castle because he had discovered the treasure that is hidden there. Harold is scared to go home and so Robin invites him back to their camp for a Halloween bonfire and feast. Among the games played are bobbing for apples. The verse recited it, "Snap the apple from out of the bowl/ Spite the devil and save your soul/ Snap the apple from out of the dish/ Spite the goblins and get your wish.”

            Harold tells them that the night his father told him about the ghost and the treasure, he was killed. Twice since then the ghost of the Viking has appeared to him to warn him never to reveal that there is treasure in the castle. Robin says he doesn't think there is a ghost but there is certainly something unsavoury going on at Harold’s home. Robin, Marian and the men all decide to go with Harold to his castle to chase out the ghost. Derwent makes the ironic statement, “Shun superstition as you would a black cat because it's the devil's work". Harold brings Marian into the castle because she is a neighbour who his Aunt Elsbeth knows. They have to convince Elsbeth to invite Robin and his men in for cakes and ale. They come in singing, “A soul, a soul, a soul, for a soul cake. Come save a soul for a soul cake. One for Peter and one for Paul and three for the lord who saves us all. Put your hand in your pocket and draw out your keys, go down to the cellar and draw what you please. Give us cakes and ale and good strong beer and we’ll come no more souling until next year.” This idea of souling was the original trick or treat. The poor would come to ask for soul cake and ale in exchange for praying for the health of the lord of the manor. Harold shows Robin and the men around the castle. Before they eat a figure in Viking garb appears on the balcony. Robin warns Marian and she escapes from her chair just as an axe falls. Robin and the men follow the figure into the tower where it seems to have disappeared. A part of the stone wall slides open and the castle’s deaf mute hunchback servant Bodo walks in. Bodo speaks to Robin is sign language that he learned from the monks and which Robin learned from Friar Tuck. The men are afraid of hunchbacks but Bodo tells Robin that he was broken and disfigured in childhood by the Normans. Bodo goes on ahead and they lose him but then accidentally discover another sliding passage. Inside is the Viking treasure and they find that Bodo is attacked. The door closes and they are trapped inside the chamber. In the main hall where Marian, Elsbeth and Harold are sitting they all doze off but Marian wakes to see a moving curtain. After looking behind it and finding Elsbeth’s black cat, she turns and sees Harold is gone. They hear him scream. Through the window that looks down to the torture chamber they see Harold attacked by the Viking figure wielding an axe. Robin and the men accidentally trigger another secret passage and escape to hear Harold scream. The Viking raises his axe and is about to kill Harold when Robin shoots and kills him with an arrow. The Viking was the castle squire Edmond. Robin tells Elsbeth that Bodo told him that she and Edmond killed Harold’s father and plotted to kill Harold so she could get the estate. Later Harold says he is giving half the treasure to the ancestors of the people the Viking plundered and half to Robin and his men.

            The second story is another example of the chronological discontinuity of this series. It presents the fourth appearance of Sir Richard of the Lea in the series but the first appearance chronologically. It begins with a feast having been prepared at Robin’s camp but their dumb rule states that they cannot eat without a guest to pay for it. As Little John is complaining the loudest Robin sends him out to look for a guest and Friar Tuck volunteers to go with him. On the trail they meet Sir Richard who volunteers to come with them since he has no choice. But since Richard looks so poor they decide to fix him up a bit with knight’s raiment from their storage cave. At dinner Robin asks for half of Richard’s purse he shows that he only has ten pennies and gives Robin five. Robin recognizes that Richard's clothing came from his storage cave and so Little John and friar Tuck are punished by being put in stocks called “meditators”. Richard tells Robin that he owns a castle but only until the next day when he has to forfeit his land to the Abbot Franklin. A year before Richard’s son had killed a man in a joust who was close to Prince John. His son was charged with murder and so Richard had to promise 400 pounds within a year or give up his estate. A year has passed but Richard has nothing. Tuck says that Abbot Franklin is nothing but a Norman captain too old for active duty and he probably wasn’t even ordained. Robin raises the money from among the men to save Richard’s castle. To help protect Richard as he travels to pay the debt Tuck is released to pose as Richard’s squire. Richard comes before the abbot and the sheriff but Richard tells them he has no money on his person. As they think they are about to take possession of his castle they decide to grant him a gift of 10 pounds. But Richard gets the money from Tuck and drops it all of the floor. Tuck tells the abbot that there is another penniless knight he can lend money to against his estate. Then Tuck sends a message to Robin by carrier pigeon. Tuck leads the abbot into Sherwood Forest where Robin and his men rob him of the money that they’d given Richard .