Leon Lontoc

            On Saturday morning I memorized the fourth verse of “C’est le Bebop” by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the first verse of “Mon Légionnaire” but I followed the Edith Piaf version rather than that of Serge Gainsbourg. By 1987 his voice wasn’t really capable of singing a melody anymore but it was a big hit for him anyway. It was especially popular in the gay dance clubs because a masculine voice was singing about a one night stand with a handsome soldier.

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of four sessions. 

            I weighed 87 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I went down to No Frills where I bought seven bags of grapes, a pint of strawberries, a half pint of blackberries, a half pint of raspberries, bananas, mouthwash, a big pack of Irish Spring soap, Arm and Hammer toothpaste, two bags of plantain chips, and three packs of roasted seaweed. 

            I went out to buy a six-pack of Creemore. 

            I weighed 87 kilos before lunch. I had two mini naan with roasted red pepper hummus and a glass of limeade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and wore my Avalanche boots even though most of the snow is cleared. They're very comfortable on the inside but cumbersome to walk in. On the Bloor bike lane went of Ossington a garbage bag had blown into the path. As I passed I kicked it aside but it got caught on my right pedal and I dragged it halfway across Ossington before kicking it free. 

            I weighed 86.6 kilos at 17:30. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:30. 

            I finished reading “The Mother at the Glen: The Relationship Between Mourning and Nostalgia” by Laura Impert and Margaret Rubin. The idea that stands out the most is that when we mourn someone we are mourning the death of that part of our self that only existed because of that person and so it died when they did. 

            I started organizing my document of the poem Pearl and arranging it so the English translation is line by line opposite the Middle English. It would be too much work right now to do the whole poem but I just wanted to get it started. 

            I chopped two onions and a few cloves of garlic and sautéed them. Then I added the shrimp that’s been in the freezer for a few months. Then I added it to the quick chili I made yesterday with black beans, Basilica sauce, and salsa. I had half of my stew with three mini naan and a beer while watching the season two premiere of Burke’s Law. 

            Some surfers are partying on the beach when they see their friend Tina out surfing the big waves. They all think she is out of her class but she makes it causing everyone to cheer. She walks triumphantly onto the beach but then collapses dead. Tina was an up and coming movie actor. There was an abrasion on her right temple from a gunshot but that wouldn’t have been enough to kill her. Burke talks with a bongo player named Skins. He just says that Tina was extraordinarily wild. Burke goes to see Tina’s mother. She says she wasn’t the typical stage mother and that she and Tina were more like sisters. The only thing she disapproved of was Tina’s surfer friends, especially Con Murdock who owns a store on the beach called The Wipe Out. Burke goes there but Con is away and the store is being minded by Maxine who is practicing some kind of moving meditation called Expressionism. She says Tina was number one with the boys and especially with Con. She says Con should be at the Ho-Dad tonight. It’s an odd name for a surfer hangout since a Ho-Dad was someone who partook of the surfer lifestyle without surfing. The owner is a strong but one armed man named Vic Bates. He has contempt for his young clientele. He had to throw Tina out more than once for going out of control and she would eat up any and every man. Con walks in but Maxine meets him at the door, points at Burke and so Con runs. Burke goes after him. Con goes into the Wipe Out and comes out with a rifle. Burke grabs it. Con runs and has to catch him and hit him several times before he goes down. Burke arrests him. It’s the gun that shot Tina but Con says he was just trying to get rid of it because he was framed. Con’s alibi checks out so Burke lets him go. Les went to the movie studio and was told Tina was very immature. Tim has been away and is just being filled in. Burke and Les are confused by the surfer lingo but it turns out Tim has been surfing for years and also understands the patter. Burke hatches a plan to put Tim undercover at the beach. Next we see him surfing very well and a woman named Libby watching him. When he comes back to the beach she is all over him. He tells her he learned to surf in Hawaii and she’s impressed. George the coroner tells Burke Tina was poisoned. Burke learns from the studio that Tina’s mother was taking all of her daughter’s film payments for herself and that Tina was planning on suing her for it. Burke says she was giving most of the money to Con Murdock. She says she tried to pay him to get him to leave Tina alone but she wound up becoming his lover. Tim finds out Tina spent a lot of time at the beach house of novelist Franklyn Warren. George finds the poison that killed Tina was a Medieval toxin called serothium. The activating ingredient is lithium, which is found in sea water. But she couldn’t have drank it because it would have left a burn. Burke goes to see Franklyn Warren who claims he was just friends with Tina and a shoulder for her to cry on. His latest book is a period piece about Lucretia Borgia poisoning her way to the throne. Tim is in his room reading a book and it took me a while to figure out the title. It’s Dis Must Be De Plaze: The Life Story of a Burlesque Comic. When I look this up the book isn’t real but appeared in a 1961 sitcom called Peter Loves Mary in the episode “Peter Writes a Book”. In the story it’s the autobiography of Smitty Travers that was ghost written by another character named Al Burton. Burke is trying to figure how Tina was poisoned without ingesting the toxin. Tim explains that her hands would have had to make contact with the edge of the board before she stood on it. Tina’s board is still at The Wipe Out and so Burke tells him to have a look at it. He picks the lock that night. He finds the board has rough edges and then somebody shoots a harpoon gun at him but it hits the board. Tim calls Burke and reports that the board was splintered and painted with the poison, so as soon as she was on the ocean it turned to poison. Then Tim notices someone has been listening at his door. He finds Libby’s scarf. He finds her on the beach with Con and she tells him Tim is a cop. Tim thinks Con fired the spear gun but Libby says he was with her. With his cover blown Tim goes back to the Wipe Out with Burke. Burke says the harpoonist wasn’t trying to kill him because he was close enough to do it. The shooter wanted to frame Con. Also in the shop is a book called The Complete Poisoner. Burke learns that Warren’s wife has filed for divorce because it turns out that he and Tina weren’t just friends. Burke asks him if he has a book on poison. He looks for it but it’s gone. Burke learns that Vic Bates and Warren are friends because Warren saved his life when a shark attacked him. Vic has been also trying to help save Warren’s marriage. Burke goes to arrest Bates for murder. He took Warren’s poison book and prepared Tina’s surfboard. Vic breaks a bottle to threaten them but Tim pulls his gun and he drops it. He says he killed her because she was ruining the marriage of the man who saved his life. 

            Henry, was Burke’s chauffeur, butler and cook. He tended to serve as comic relief and he would complain about being asked to drive Burke at odd hours. His funniest line was, “I never had this kind of aggravation when I worked for The Green Hornet!” He was played by Leon Lontoc, who was born in the Philippines and came to Hollywood in his late teens. His first film appearance was an uncredited role in Behind the Rising Sun. He made guest appearances on many TV shows and appeared in several films. He was a barber by trade and maintained a shop by day unless he had an acting job, in which case he’d hang the sign “Gone to act”. At night he worked as a waiter at Don the Beachcomber.