Frank Endres

            On Friday morning I translated the first two verses of “A Cannes cet été” (To Cannes This Summer) by Boris Vian. 

            I finished working out the chords for “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. Tomorrow I’ll run through singing and playing it in French and then I think I might need to revise my translation a little more. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the second of four sessions. I ran through “Paranoiac Utopia” but fumbled a couple of times. 

            I weighed 86.75 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since November 8. 

            I spent about half an hour rehearsing “Paranoiac Utopia” but never made it all the way through without fumbling. I almost did once and it was smoothest take yet, up until I screwed up the finale. 

            I weighed 87.45 kilos before lunch. That’s the least I’ve tipped the scales since last Friday. 

            I was having chest pains during lunch and afterwards. I don’t think it was my heart because it didn’t get worse when I took a bike ride. It’s just anxiety over feeling that I don’t have enough time to fully prepare for my book launch.

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. It was very cold so it’s time to break out the long underwear for my next trip. I had to pee really bad as I was coming into my place and peed a bit on the floor near the toilet before I had a chance to aim. 

            I weighed 87.1 kilos at 18:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:08. 

            I spent over an hour rehearsing for my book launch and was able to get through “Paranoiac Utopia” in just a couple of takes. The rest of the time was spent re-learning “Memo to the Heart of Insecurity” and I managed to do a complete take of the song just before dinner. Hopefully I can make it through both songs plus “The Next State of Grace” as a set several times tomorrow so I can be ready for Sunday. The only time I have left to rehearse is Saturday evening and Sunday morning.

            I had a potato with gravy and a chicken leg while watching episodes 36 to 40 of Batfink. 

            In episode 36, a shipment of uncut diamonds is being transported by plane, but stowed away in a box among the others is The Human Pretzel. He grabs the diamonds and parachutes out. Batfink sends out his super sonar to find the thief while the Pretzel has closed his carnival and is about to mail himself to South America. Batfink finds him and the Pretzel knocks him out. He sets Batfink up behind a target in the ball throwing game and invites Karate to hit the target three times and win a teddy bear. Karate throws two baseballs and hits the target then The Pretzel hands him a spherical bomb to throw but he misses and the explosion merely rouses Batfink to consciousness. Pretzel tries to run but Batfink beans him with a baseball. 

            In episode 37, a jewellery store safe is opened by invisible thieves and the jewels appear to leave the store by themselves. The chief calls Batfink to the scene of the crime and as they ponder the mystery the chief slaps at a flea. Karate tries to step on it but Batfink stops him because it might be a clue. They follow the flea to a flea circus where all the other fleas are delivering the jewellery to their master Professor Hopper. The flea named Melvin is the last one to arrive and tells Hopper about being almost killed but saved by Batfink. Batfink arrives and Hopper has his fleas attack. Batfink and Karate are itching all over and rush for the water but Hopper has the fleas stretch out a rope to trip and knock the heroes out. They are tied to a target and Hopper aims a cannon at them. But the target tips over and the cannonball misses them because Melvin has returned the favour of Batfink saving his life. 

            In episode 38, Roz the Shnoz the human bloodhound is sniffing for valuables to steal in a fashionable district. She smells mink and money and takes them. The cops find no fingerprints but plenty of nose prints. Batfink follows his super sonar to Roz’s house but he does not know her and tells her there is a thief hiding in her house. She knocks out Karate and pulls a gun on Batfink. When bullets don’t work she says she gives up and the loot is in the closet. But when Batfink opens it he is buried and knocked out by items like appliances and furniture that had filled up the closet. She ties Batfink to a chair suspended over a fire and counterweighted by a sack of sand which she punctures so he is slowly lowered towards the fire. Then she leaves but outside Karate gives her a rose, but her nose is allergic to roses and explodes with a super sneeze that blows into her house and blows Batfink free of the fire at the last second. He puts golden handcuffs on Roz. 

            In episode 39, the Golden hand of Kara-Tay is on display at the Art Museum. Karate enters, smashes the case with a karate chop and escapes with the hand. But then he removes his mask and it is not Karate. The police chief wants to arrest Karate. Karate says the only person in the world who could have cut through ten cm glass with a karate chop is Spider the Spliitter who went to Karate school with Karate. Karate asks Batfink let him take the lead on this case because it's personal. Meanwhile Spider is about to melt down the hand so he can sell the gold to dentists. Batfink’s sonar finds Spider and then Karate enters his hideout. Then thinking his own reflection is Spider in disguise he attacks a mirror and knocks himself out. Then Batfink is captured by a clamp that pins his wings and suspends him on an overhead conveyor. Spider says he’s going to melt Batfink’s wings and sell them as auto bumpers. As the conveyor belt moves them to their doom, Batfink sends out a sonar beep that changes shape into a monkey wrench that is thrown into the cogs of the conveyor. Then he sends out another beep that closes the door of Spider’s blast furnace, causing it to overheat and explode, knocking Spider out. 

            In episode 40, the oldest bone ever found, the dinosaur wishbone is being shipped on a tour of museums. But its carriers are followed by the luckiest thief in the world, Lucky Chuck. The guards slip on a banana peel and the bone flies into the back of Chuck’s car. When Batfink finds Chuck’s hideout, Chuck shoots at the heroes and gets in a lucky shot that drops a chandelier on top of them, knocking them out. They are each tied to an arm of the wishbone with dynamite underneath. The dynamite explodes and Batfink and Karate are blown into the air. The bone is also still intact because according to Batfink, dynamite can’t destroy a petrified dinosaur bone. The bone lands on Chuck. 

            This episode was co-animated by Frank Endres, who started at Fleischer in 1930, where he worked adding colour to the inked celluloid sheets. He worked uncredited on the Betty Boop cartoons. His first credit as an animator was in 1940’s Popeye cartoon “Stealin’ Ain’t Honest”. He drew on Superman’s first animated film. After the war he animated Tom Johnson’s Popeye cartoons throughout their run.

November 30, 1994: I was sick and just ate soup and oranges

Thirty years ago today

            On Wednesday I woke up really sick but had to go downtown to pose for a sculpture class anyway. I went and got soup at coffee time and again at lunch. I felt too sick to go to Fat Albert’s open stage that night and so I just vegged out at home and ate oranges.

Hal Seeger

            On Thursday morning I started translating “A Cannes cet été” (To Cannes This Summer) by Boris Vian.

            I worked out the chords for the chorus of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. I think the rest of the song is just repetitions of the chords of the first verse and the chorus but I’ll find out tomorrow. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of four sessions. I ran through “Paranoiac Utopia” and fumbled about three times. 

            I weighed 87.55 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I spent about half an hour practicing “Paranoiac Utopia”. It wasn’t until just before lunch that I managed to get through the song without a fumble throwing me off. It was a very sloppy take but the mistakes I made probably wouldn’t be noticed by most members of an audience. 

            I weighed 87.7 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride and noticed while I was downtown that my front flasher had run out of power. I had expected it to get dim first but it was quite bright when I started out. I stopped at Freshco on the way back. I bought four bags of red grapes, two packs of raspberries, bananas, a sack of potatoes, a loaf of multigrain sandwich bread, a jug of orange juice, and pasta sauce with Italian sausage (Classico seems to have phased out the Basilica sauce as I haven’t seen it among their choices for a few weeks). I did a price match on the grapes with the Food Basics price and got them for less than half the Freshco price. 

            I weighed 86.95 kilos at 18:50, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since November 20. 

            I recharged both flashers even though it was only the white one that wasn’t working. 

            I spent about an hour re-learning “Memo to the Heart of Insecurity”. I can now play the first and second verses but not together yet. This song is definitely easier than “Paranoiac Utopia”. 

            I grilled four chicken legs and had one with a potato and gravy while watching episodes 31 to 35 of Batfink. 

            In episode 31, Professor Vibrato is a prisoner at police headquarters. He has fashioned a cello out of old cigar boxes and is giving the chief and an officer a concert. He plays a piece that paralyzes the cops and another to break through the walls of his cell. He goes to his hideout, which is an abandoned mining shaft at the peak of Clyde Mountain. Batfink flies to catch him but Vibrato turns him into a human tuning fork by vibrating his wings. Karate tries to climb up but Vibrato causes cracks to form on the mountain wherever he goes. Batfink tells him he’s played his last note but Vibrato says, “Oh man, you’re as wrong as Lennie Bernstein was when he threw me out of his group!” Vibrato opens up the mountain to swallow Batfink. But Batfink holds on and the crack lengthens to swallow Vibrato. Batfink saves him and then arrests him. 

            In episode 32, a tornado travels through town and is stripping everything such as the outer clothing from people’s bodies but it also sucks up the money from banks. It travels to a junk yard where we see the junkyard owner has generated the tornado with a machine he’s made from junk. When Batfink arrives in his Batillac to catch the crook the car is grabbed by a mechanical grabber crane. The owner offers Batfink $1.50 for the Batillac. He lets it drop and Batfink and Karate are thrown free. Then the owner begins shooting them with a cannon that shoots any kind of junk, like tires and appliances. Then the junkman uses his tornado machine to wrap Batfink in cable and drill him into the ground. But Batfink comes flying back up on a gusher of oil after puncturing a pipeline and lassos the junkman with his cable. 

            In episode 33, it’s payday at police headquarters and Greasy Gus uses his oilcan to cause the chief to slip and let go of his bag of money. The police now refuse to work until they’ve been paid. Batfink finds Gus at Gus’s Garage. Gus had been working on a car which he now lets drop on the heroes. But Batfink uses his wing as a jack to lift the car. Gus drops tires around Batfink and Karate to restrain them. Then Gus escapes in the car he was repairing but Batfink and Karate, although still restrained roll sideways after Gus. Gus stops on the edge of a cliff and greases the edge so that the heroes slip over to fall. But because of the grease Batfink is now able to slip free of the tires. After they land safely they leave an oil slick that Gus’s car skids on and they catch him. 

            In episode 34, at an exclusive auction the original manuscript of The Three Musketeers is being sold. But a masked and caped swordsman swings from the ceiling and grabs it. He carves the figure 0 with his sword. Batfink says it’s the mark of Zero. Batfink uses his super sonar to track Zero to the home of P.A. Minus but he doesn’t suspect that Minus and Zero are the same person. Minus welcomes Batfink and when he hears that Zero is in his home he says he will hide. Then he changes to Zero and swings a piano at Batfink then changes back to Minus. But then Batfink realizes that Plus and Minus equals zero and now knows they are one and the same. Zero knocks Batfink out and suspends him over a cauldron of boiling oil with a rope attached to a door. He then tells Karate that Batfink needs him with the plan that Karate will open the door and kill his own partner. But Karate opens the door the wrong way and frees Batfink. They capture Zero while he’s changing. 

            In episode 35, Swami Salami uses a rope trick to rise to a penthouse where he steals a box of precious jewels. Batfink and Karate find Salami who knocks them out with his crystal ball. Batfink and Karate are tied together with a snake that is squeezing tighter and tighter. Batfink uses his super sonar to make one of his beeps look like a snake that suddenly the real snake falls in love with and follows. Salami is captured. 

            Batfink was created and produced by Hal Seeger, who started as an animator for Fleischer Studios in the 1940s. He did animations for the Colour Classics series and for the short film Mr. Bug Goes to Town. He wrote the screenplays for live action films that targeted African American audiences such as Hi De Ho, Killer Diller, and Boarding House Blues. He formed Hal Seeger Productions and produced 100 Out of the Inkwell cartoons starring Koko the Clown. He created, produced and directed Milton the Monster, and Muggy Doo. He also produced Fearless Fly. He directed Popeye Meets the Man Who Hated Laughter.

November 29, 1994: Nik Beat told me my band sounded great at the El Mocambo

Thirty years ago today

            On Tuesday I was getting stuffed up. I finished Katherine Sterry’s astrological chart and she came over before I left for work to pay me. I posed from 16:00 to 19:00 at the Ontario College of Art and then walked toward Gladstone Avenue. Around Claremont Street I ran into Nik Beat and he said my band Christian and the Lions was really good at the El Mocambo on Sunday night. I got to the Gladstone Hotel at around 20:00 and set up the Art Bar to prepare for my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage. I was alone doing some writing in the Art Bar when Paul and Anna showed up early, followed by Raven. Paul did a featured reading as did Mary Milne. Adina came as well but left early and I called a break so I could walk her to the Dufferin bus, which took a long time to arrive.

James Tyer

            On Wednesday morning I searched for “Fragile”, the next song on my Boris Vian list. As the music was written by Eddie Barclay what came up in the search was “Fragile Eyes” adapted by Eddie Barclay from Duke Ellington and so it’s possible that this is one of Vian’s translations from the US songbook. But an alternate title is “A Cannes cet été” (To Cannes This Summer). So “Fragile” might really be “A Cannes cet été”. I found the lyrics and so I’ll go with that for now and translate it. 

            I worked out the chords for the first verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice and ran through “Paranoiac Utopia” once. There are two places I tend to fumble. I know where to go with my hands but my hands forget. Tomorrow I’ll begin a four session stretch of playing my Martin acoustic guitar. 

            I weighed 87.5 kilos before breakfast. 

            I spent about an hour and a quarter rehearsing “Paranoiac Utopia” and still couldn’t get all the way through the song without stumbling. I found it very frustrating because I know all the right chords and where they should be played but lose one somewhere every time. It’s especially annoying because I was messing up in parts that I thought I’d already nailed down. 

            I weighed 87.6 kilos before lunch. I had Swiss cheese crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            I took a siesta and slept half an hour longer than usual so it was too late to take a bike ride all the way downtown. I rode to Bloor and Dovercourt and went south to Queen. Dovercourt has streetlights but it seems darker than other streets and it’s also narrow, making it worse. I stopped at Freshco where I bought four bags of red grapes. 

            I weighed 87.75 kilos at 18:09, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the evening since November 11.

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:10. 

            I spent over an hour rehearsing for my book launch. After a few tries I managed to finally make it through “Paranoiac Utopia” without fumbling. There were mistakes but more the kind I could jazz my way through. I spent most of the time reintroducing myself to my song “Memo to the Heart of Insecurity”. Before dinner I was able to play the first verse and most of the second. 

            I sliced the rest of the bland turkey kielbasa and baked it for ten or fifteen minutes. Then I had it on a pizza with a crust of multigrain bread, a sauce made with Italian sausage and a topping of five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching episodes 26 to 30 of Batfink. 

            In episode 26, Hugo Agogo has a baby robot that works by remote control. Its innocent appearance allows it to get closer so it can use grenades to blow open armoured cars. Batfink comes to confront Hugo but the cuteness of the robot is enough of a distraction to allow Hugo to trap both Batfink and Karate. Batfink is locked in a metal box and sent over a cliff. But his super sonar beeps can be made to change shape and so he conjures one that turns into a key to open the lock of his box. Hugo is captured and Karate will take care of the baby robot. 

            This episode was animated by James Tyer, who was co-director of the animated shorts A Little Bird Told Me and Grandfather’s Clock. He is a cult figure among animation fans because of his silly, sloppy style that made inventive and humourous use of movement. Ralph Bakshi was a big fan and hired him to animate parts of the Harlem sequence in Fritz the Cat. But Tyer was a devout Catholic and quit because he found the material offensive.

            In episode 27, King Cole the TV comedian is robbed of his solid gold golf clubs, and a Mother Goose style rhyming note is left behind. That’s the MO of Brother Goose. Batfink sends out his super sonar but Brother Goose uses Little Boy Blue’s horn to amplify it and send it back. At Brother Goose’s hideout Little Miss Muffet’s spider is a bomb that blows up on Karate. Mary Contrary’s garden has plants that grab both Batfink and Karate. Batfink can’t break free because it’s a rubber plant. Then they are both swallowed by a giant Venus Flytrap. Brother Goose pulls a switch to make it night and then goes to sleep. If Batfink and Karate are inside the plant all night they will suffocate. Batfink sends out a beep that pulls the switch to make it day and they are released to wake and capture Bother Goose. 

            In episode 28, a maharaja with a million dollar turban is confronted by Stupidman to steal his turban but his guard attacks him with his scimitar. Stupidman escapes in his car and the guard throws his scimitar at him. It sticks to the back of the car and Stupidman gets away with the two million dollar scimitar. The police chief can’t go after Stupidman because he’s his brother in law. Batfink finds Stupidman who shoots at them with a machinegun but bullets can’t harm Batfink’s wings of steal. Karate tells him to throw his gun away so he does and it knocks Karate out. Stupidman swordfights with Batfink, who uses his wing as a sword. Stupidman accidentally cuts a waterpipe and the room floods. Batfink’s wings weigh him down. Karate opens the door and lets the water out. Stupidman is unconscious from almost drowning and is taken to prison. 

            In episode 29, at an international beauty pageant the winner is about to be crowned with jewelled crown but Batfink flies in and grabs it. He flies directly to Hugo’s lair and gives it to him. It turns out that it’s not Batfink but a robot with a key at the back to wind it up. Batfink sends his super sonar but it thinks the robot is Batfink and so now Hugo knows where Batfink is. He sends the robot with a bomb that hits the Batillac but the car is equipped with a thermonuclear plutonium insulated blast shield. Batfink enters Hugo’s lair but in trying to capture him is knocked out against an invisible shield. Hugo presents Karate with two Batfinks and a laser gun. Karate has ten seconds to destroy the fake Batfink otherwise a bomb will go off and kill them all. Karate destroys one of them, which turns out to be the fake one but Karate made his choice with the scientific method of eeny meeney miney moe. 

            In episode 30, Hugo has an army of three robots on wheels committing crimes. Batfink finds Hugo’s camp with his sonar. The three robots do an aerial attack and all crash. Hugo says he’ll lower his flag and give up but he knocks a flagpole on Batfink’s head. Batfink and Karate are strung up spread eagle as Hugo fires a cannon at them. But Karate faints, causing the weight to shift and the structure that holds them to fall backwards so the cannonballs fly over them. Karate kicks Hugo into the air and he is captured.

November 28, 1994: I was playing my concert tape but a student turned it off

Thirty years ago today

            On Monday I worked at the Stewart Building for the Ontario College of Art from 9:00 to 16:00, doing a difficult pose for Diane Pugen’s class. I played part of my tape from last night’s Christian and the Lions concert at the El Mocambo but one of the students pissed me off by turning it off. I just went home after work.

Myron Waldman

            On Tuesday morning I finished posting on my Boris Vian Facebook page and my own Facebook page “Be All You Can Be”, my translation of “Allons z’enfants” by Boris Vian. Tomorrow I’ll start learning the next Vian song on my list that has the audio available online. 

            I worked out the chords to the intro and about half the first verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar during song practice. I started practicing “Paranoiac Utopia” as part of song practice but I still can’t get all the way through without stopping to figure out the chords for certain parts. 

            I weighed 87.6 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since November 17. 

            I spent a little over half an hour practicing “Paranoiac Utopia” and ran through it about eight times though still not seamlessly. But comparing it to getting through it twice in half an hour the day before, there’s obviously been progress. 

            I weighed 88.05 kilos before lunch, and that’s the most I’ve tipped the scale in the early afternoon since November 11. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos at 18:00. I was caught up on my journal at 18:45. 

            I compared the song practice video of my electric performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” on October 5 to that of September 29 and found that although the Kramer sounds better than the Gibson when the Gibson has low action, September 29 has better lighting and more expression. I compared October 6 to September 29 and although I still find September 29 to look better and have more charm, the Kramer sounds better, I play it better and the tremolo bar sounds good at the end. I compared October 9 to October 6 and October 9 doesn’t look as good, plus the Kramer was out of tune. I compared October 10 to October 6 and October 10 seems better but unfortunately it freezes at 11:30. I compared October 15 to October 6 and had to listen to both a few times. I think October 6 is the best for look and expression and so that’s the electric take I’ll upload to YouTube. But I’m putting this project on hold until after my book launch so I have more time to rehearse. 

            I had time to rehearse “Paranoiac Utopia” for about an hour before dinner but still wasn’t able to get through the song without fumbling. I almost made it through on the last try but then I got too excited and lost my grip on the chord sequence. 

            I had a small potato with gravy and my last slice of sirloin tip roast while watching episodes 21 to 25 of Batfink. 

            In episode 21, Hugo Agogo has developed a pair of remote control floating gloves that steal for him and on top of that they are identical to Batfink’s gloves and so there is a warrant for Batfink’s arrest. Batfink has to solve the case before the police come for him. Batfink always uses his super sonar to locate Hugo but Hugo is never anywhere else than the same observatory hideout on a mountain. Hugo’s gloves are wearing boxing gloves and they attack Karate while Batfink goes inside. While fighting the gloves, Karate says that they are pretty fast on their feet. They knock him out. Batfink calls Hugo’s gloves “evil” and so one of them slaps him and challenges him to a duel. Batfink says a gentleman must always accept the challenge and so they meet the next day at dawn. Batfink swordfights with the glove and is disarmed. But then the gloves drop to the ground because their batteries run out as Batfink knew they would. 

            In episode 22, Sporty Morty is fishing in the street and hooks a woman’s expensive necklace. Then when a cop confronts him Morty knocks him out with a golf ball hit by a club. Morty bats a baseball bomb into a bank and after the explosion catches the flying money. Batfink uses his super sonar to find Morty’s hideout. Morty traps Batfink’s foot in a bear trap and hangs him upside down. He plans on mounting Batfink’s head with his other trophies after shooting him with an elephant gun. But Batfink swings free and cuts the rope with his wing then punches Morty into the wall so his ass is hanging where he’d planned to mount Batfink’s head. 

            In episode 23, Hugo has developed an antenna headgear that channels lighting in such concentration that it turns it into a disintegrator ray. He uses it to make holes in maximum security walls and vaults to steal the most valuable statue in the world: The Goddess of Gizmo. Batfink finds Hugo at his usual hideout even though he has to use his sonar to find him. Hugo uses his bolt on Batfink but his wings of steel act as a lightning rod as long as one wing is grounded. Hugo uses his bolt to knock out Karate. Then he knocks out Batfink by opening a trap door that he is grounding himself on. Hugo tries to finish Batfink but his antenna needs a charge. He decides to fly Batfink like a kite in a lightning storm. But the rain rouses Batfink to consciousness just in time to dodge the lightning bolt that hits Hugo’s headset and knocks him out. 

            This episode was animated by Myron Waldman, who studied at the Pratt Institute in New York. He started at Fleischer Studio in 1930 and worked on Betty Boop, Raggedy Ann, Gulliver’s Travels, The Animated Adventures of Superman, and Popeye. He was the head animator on two Oscar winning short films: Educated Fish and Hunky and Spunky. After Fleischer became Famous Studios he worked mostly on Casper the Friendly Ghost. In 1943 he created the wordless novel Eve: a Pictorial Love Story. In 1957 he moved to Hal Seeger Productions and worked on Out of the Inkwell and Milton the Monster. He directed The Heart that Changed Colour and The Adventures of a Man in Search of a Heart. 

            

            In episode 24, those circus skilled criminals the Ringading Brothers come to town to steal valuable rings. Their carnival train stops in front of a house, a roof door opens and a ladder extends upward with the acrobatic brother on top. He swings on a trapeze to a tree branch and into a window, then emerges with a valuable ring. Batfink and Karate try to use the Batillac to cut off the Ringading wagon but the brothers speed forward and so the Batillac gets out of the way. They find them at their circus camp but the acrobat grabs Karate, swings him high and drops him. Batfink tries to catch him but is caught by the whip of the other brother. Then he is pinned down as an elephant is standing on his wings with his back legs. The trainer brother is about to command the elephant to sit on Batfink but Batfink sends out a sonar Beep that turns into an arrow and jabs the elephant forward. The brothers are captured.

            In episode 25, Sir Sol Eloquee is rehearsing to play MacBeth with MacBeth’s original dagger. Hugo shines a spotlight that produces real spots, blinding the actor and allowing Hugo to grab the dagger. Batfink locates Hugo with his sonar even though he always has the same hideout. Hugo shines his spot spotlight on them as they drive the Batillac and causes it to crash. It’s not damaged and they arrive at Hugo’s lair. Karate is confronted by a leopard. Meanwhile Batfink is caught in a crossfire of spot spotlights while being surrounded by bombs suspended from balloons. Hugo tries to escape but is intercepted by Karate and his new pet leopard. Batfink escapes the spotlights by using spot remover. Karate uses it on the leopard and removes his spots as well, which seems to make the leopard happy.

November 27, 1994: Christian and the Lions rocked the El Mocambo

Thirty years ago today 

            On Sunday I had my daughter again for part of the day after Nancy’s parents brought her over. We went to the playground for a while and then I had to meet Nancy at Kennedy Subway Station. She was very late and there was a snowstorm but I still got downtown in time to meet Adina at the Second Cup, since she was late again anyway. We went to the El Mocambo. Steve Lowe came a little later and he actually drank, which I’d never seen him do. Then Tom Smarda, Mike Martin and Beverley arrived. Alexandra, who I met through Telepersonals showed up, as well as John de Pinto, Phil Onious, Paul and Anna. Christian and the Lions rocked the house and we got invited back. 

            Looking at this diary I’m confused because this is the first mention in my journal of us playing at the El Mocambo. But the video I have of Christian and the Lions at the Elmo has Arjan on bass. If Beverley was playing bass on this night then we must have played the Elmo at an earlier date as well. Unless Beverley just came to hear us and see if she wanted to be in the band. I don’t know.

Martin Taras

            On Monday morning I published “Be All You Can Be”, my translation of “Allons z'enfants” by Boris Vian on my Christian’s Translations blog. Tomorrow I’ll post the lyrics on my Boris Vian Facebook fan page and on my personal Facebook page. 

            I finished memorizing “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. I searched for the chords but no one has posted them and so tomorrow I’ll start working them out. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the last of two sessions. 

            I weighed 87.25 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I spent about fifteen minutes practicing “Paranoiac Utopia” and only had to stop and look at the chords once. 

            I weighed 87.9 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.7 kilos at 18:10, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the evening since November 11.

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:55. 

            I compared the song practice video of my electric performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” on September 17 to that of September 13 and found that September 13 looks better and is more expressive. I compared September 19 to September 13 and still find September 13 looks and feels better. I compared September 20 to September 13 and found that September 20 looks and feels just as good, plus I play it better. I compared September 24 to September 20 and September 20 looks and feels better. I compared September 29 to September 20 and September 29 looks better, plus I use the volume pedal for a tremolo effect. I compared September 30 to September 29 and September 30 has comparatively worse lighting and more mistakes. I compared October 3 to September 29 and on October 3 I was too slow with the volume pedal. I compared October 4 to September 29 and find September 29 looks and feels better. There are five more electric takes to compare and then I’ll know which one I’ll upload to YouTube. After that decision I’ll have more time to rehearse for my book launch. 

            I spent about half an hour rehearsing “Paranoiac Utopia” and ran through the song twice. I didn’t have to stop to look at the chords but I did pause to figure them out a few times. I think there’s a good chance that tomorrow I’ll be able to get through without stopping and then I’ll start re-learning “Memo to the Heart of Insecurity”. 

            I made a new batch of gravy from my sirloin tip roast beef drippings. I had some with a potato while watching episodes 16 to 20 of Batfink. 

            In episode 16, Harry and Larry are jewel thieves plotting to steal the Wombley Diamond. Harry goes upstairs where the diamond is being held and sneaks behind a curtain behind the backs of the guards. He uses a scissor arm to grab the diamond and tosses it out the window into the alley where Larry waits with a catcher’s mitt. But Larry misses the diamond and it bounces into the window of the candy factory next door and into a vat of melted chocolate. Now Harry and Larry are stealing candy bars all over the city to find the diamond while Batfink also searches for the diamond and the thieves who stole it. Batfink sends out his super sonar and the beep comes back covered in chocolate and with a bite taken out of it. Karate catches Larry and himself with a stretch of taffy. Batfink and Harry sword fight with candy canes until Batfink falls into a vat of chocolate. He ends up on a conveyer belt covered with almonds and coconut and is about to be sliced by the plutonium blade (I don’t know if the writers understood the properties of plutonium. In several stories things like cages and blades are said to be made out of plutonium to indicate that they are incredibly strong. But plutonium is about as strong as aluminium and is brittle at room temperature). The blade breaks on the Wombley diamond, which Batfink found when he was in the vat of chocolate. Harry runs but Batfink lassos him with a licorice rope. 

            In episode 17, Hugo Agogo has started a crime college and he has three students. Their assignment today is to rob police headquarters. They steal all the guns and the cops can’t get more because the thieves also stole their pants. Batfink uses his super sonar to locate the thieves because the sign reading “Crime College” isn’t obvious enough. Hugo and his students eject through the roof and land in the school bus with the Batillac in pursuit. Batfink tells Karate to cut them off but Karate says it’s against the law to pass a school bus. Hugo shoots a rocket at them but they turn sideways and open both doors so the missile just flies through. Hugo burns the bridge after passing it but Batfink uses his own body as a bridge for the Batillac. Hugo leaves a bomb that blows the Batillac into the air but Batfink anticipated that and they go out before it happened. They fly up to get in before it lands. The bomb caused an oil leak that spills ahead of the school bus and causes it to crash. 

            In episode 18, Myron the Magician steals the most valuable painting in the world, Whistler’s Mother in Law. Batfink finds Myron’s hideout but while searching a closet Karate disappears. It’s an elevator that leads to the basement where Myron has Karate tied. Batfink is also captured and wrapped in chains his wings of steel can’t break because they are rubber. Myron says he’ll send Batfink over a cliff on a flying carpet. Batfink says carpets can’t fly and Myron agrees. But the rubber chain catches on a jagged rock and acts as a bungee cord to send Batfink back up to tackle Myron. 

            In episode 19, Hugo goes to the city’s biggest factory on payday and sprays the paymaster with a mind control solution. Everyone who is sprayed gives Hugo all their money. Batfink sends his super sonar to find Hugo but Hugo brainwashes the Beep. It comes back to tell Batfink to go left but he knows it’s been brainwashed so he goes right. Hugo brainwashes Karate and then Batfink. He orders Batfink to submissively allow himself to be crushed by a lowering giant iron. But Batfink’s wings of steel protect him because he was wearing a plastic Batfink mask that protected him from the brain wash. 

            In episode 20, Hugo robs top secret plans with a monocle that shoots a blinding light. Batfink and Karate are winding towards Hugo’s hideout on a twisted mountain road when they are hit by a blinding beam and go over a cliff but don’t crash. They reach the hideout but are trapped in a plutonium glass chamber. Hugo sucks the air from the chamber and then tries to blind them but Batfink holds up a mirror and Hugo is blinded. Hugo then accidentally pulls the switch that releases the heroes. 

            Episode 20 was animated by Martin Taras, who started animating at Van Beuren Studios in 1934 but it closed in 1936. He worked for Fleischer Studios, then for Jam Handy, followed by Terry Toons and then Famous Studios. There he created Baby Huey, who appeared in the first Casper the Friendly Ghost comic in 1949. He drew Casper, Spooky the Tough Little Ghost, and Wendy Witch to name a few. He animated the 1967 Spiderman series, Josie and the Pussycats and Super Friends. He also worked as an animator for the films Fritz the Cat, Lord of the Rings and Wizards.

November 26, 1994: Mike and I argued about his drumming for half an hour of the rehearsal I'd paid for

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I had my daughter briefly with me and then Nancy met me at the Main subway station to pick her up. I then headed up to the rehearsal space and was there on time but no one else was. Tom Smarda was nine minutes late, Mike Martin arrived about nine minutes after him and Beverly, the bass player for The Jazz Bitches got there around nine minutes after that. Steve was very late and we had gone through a whole set before he showed up. It turned out that he’d given his car away earlier that day. We’d had a pretty good rehearsal overall by the time it ended but it was a struggle with Mike and we spent about half an hour of the time I’d paid for arguing. We even argued while having coffee later but I had a good talk with Steve.

Len Maxwell

            On Sunday morning I wasn’t quite able to memorize the fifth and final verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg but I’m pretty sure I’ll have it nailed down tomorrow.

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions. 

            I weighed 86.95 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since November 8. 

            Around midday I managed to get in about an hour of practicing my song “Paranoiac Utopia”. I still couldn’t play it all the way through without stopping to look at the chords but I’m getting closer. 

            I weighed 87.95 kilos before lunch. That’s the most I’ve tipped the scales in the early afternoon since November 11. I had Swiss cheese flavoured crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.35 kilos at 18:00. It hasn’t been that high in the evening since November 15. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:38. 

            I compared the song practice video of my acoustic performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” on October 8 to that of October 1 and I still think October 1 has the best lighting and expression. I compared October 11 to October 1 and found that October 1 is still the better looking and sounding take. I compared October 13 to October 1 and saw that October 13 doesn’t look as good. I compared October 14 to October 1 and I find that October 1 is the overall best of the acoustic takes of “Vomit of the Star Eater”, so that’s the one I’ll upload to YouTube. 

            I compared the song practice videos of my electric performances of “Vomit of the Star eater” on October 13 and 14. I find October 13 to be more expressive and I also play it more slowly than I’ve ever noticed, which makes it interesting. There are thirteen more electric takes to compare. 

            I put in at least another half an hour of practice on “Paranoiac Utopia” and came closer to playing it all the way through. Although it’s progress it feels pretty slow when one considers that I have two more songs to learn and only six days left to rehearse. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with Italian sausage pasta sauce, turkey kielbasa, and five-year-old cheddar. Yesterday I found the turkey kielbasa to not be very good. So this time although it’s already cooked I baked it in the oven for a while before putting it on my pizza. That gave it a little more flavour. I had it with a beer while watching episodes 11 to 15 of Batfink.

            In episode 11, Fatman is robbing all the exclusive Fat Men’s Clubs in the city. In the last robbery Fatman stole the contents of the safe but the police are puzzled how he got out of the room since all the doors were locked. Batfink’s super sonar determines that Fatman left via the transom and since a fat man wouldn’t be able to do that Batfink concludes that Fatman is really a skinny man in a fat suit. Batfink figures that Fatman will rob the Diogenes Club next because he’s been working in alphabetical order. Batfink enters the club wearing a Batfat suit and asks the clerk to put his valuables in the safe. But it turns out that the clerk is Fatman. He robs the safe, deflates his suit and tries to escape but Batfink stands in his way. He knocks Batfink onto a stretching machine, straps him in and turns it on. Fatman escapes but then Batfink slips out of his suit and frees himself. He catches up with Fatman who shoots a cannon at him but Batfink always carries an extra inflatable suit. He expands it and the cannonball bounces back to hit Fatman. 

            In episode 12, a maharani is about to purchase the most expensive tiara in the world when Hugo Agogo uses his latest invention, a Tickle Stick. It causes the maharani to laugh so hard that Hugo can easily take the crown. Batfink sends his super sonar to locate Hugo but Hugo tickles the Beep and it comes back laughing. It can however point to what looks like it was Hugo’s hideout last time. Karate tries to break down the door but gets tickled and falls down a trap door. Hugo’s Kitchy Koos also attack Batfink and he begins laughing. But he finally knocks the Ks off the Kitchy Koos and regains control long enough to turn Hugo’s tickler on Hugo and make him laugh his way to jail. When Batfink destroyed the Ks of the Kitchy Koos he turned them into Itchy oos that caused Batfink to scratch. 

            In episode 13, ships begin sinking in the harbour. Hugo has a submarine that can tunnel into the ships’ hulls and then simply lower all the valuable goods into the sub. When he leaves there are holes in the bottoms of the ships he robs and so they sink. The police chief says either Lloyd Bridges has flipped or it’s Hugo. Batfink disguises the bottom of a raft to make it look like the hull of a ship and then he and Karate wait for Hugo on top. But Batfink falls through Hugo’s tunnel and is knocked out. In Hugo’s hideout Batfink is tied to a target so Hugo can use him for harpoon target practice. His pet octopus retrieves the harpoons. Then Hugo puts Batfink into his shark tank. But Batfink wraps himself in his wings of steel and breaks the shark’s teeth. Batfink corners Hugo but karate arrives and knocks the door on top of Batfink so they are both captured. Out on the ocean they are tied to a floating target. Hugo fires a torpedo at them but Hugo’s pet octopus thinks he’s playing fetch and grabs the torpedo with a tentacle to bring it back to Hugo where it explodes. 

            In episode 14, Gluey Louis steals Benjamin Franklin’s kite and when the cops chase him he glues their feet to the ground. Batfink searches for Louis with his super sonar but Louis glues the Beep. Batfink can get no info from it but since the glue on the Beep is still wet he surmises that Louis’s hideout is nearby. Louis glues Batfink to a wall then is about to shoot him with Sitting Bull’s arrow when Batfink pulls up the floorboards he’s stuck on to act as a shield. Louis escapes in his car and glues the road but Batfink lifts the Batillac and flies over it landing in front of Louis’s car causing it to crash.

            In episode 15, Mama Hubbard is a parody of Zsa Zsa Gabor and she owns an exclusive jewellery shop. But she finds her jewellery cupboard is bare. Brother Goose sends a taunting rhyming note to identify himself as the robber. Batfink’s super sonar finds Brother Goose’s hideout but Brother Goose traps karate and then drops a safe disguised as Humpty Dumpty on Batfink but Batfink is protected by his wings. However Brother Goose has tied Karate to a giant lit fire cracker. Brother Goose escapes then Batfink dumps water on the firecracker. Batfink knocks Brother Goose’s helicopter out of the sky. 

            Karate’s voice and that of the chief of police were done by Len Maxwell, who began as a touring stand-up comedian. He recorded the album Merry Monster Christmas. He co-wrote, co-produced and did all the voices for the Academy award winning animated short The Crunch Bird. He co-starred in the TV Christmas special The Night the Animals Talked. He co-wrote What’s Up Tiger Lily? He was the voice of the host of Celebrity Deathmatch. He was Neil Sedaka’s manager. He did voices for over 25,000 commercials, including Punchy the Hawaiian Punch mascot.

November 25, 1994: I met a drummer named Jim Bravo and got his number

Thirty years ago today

            On Friday I posed from 9:00 to 16:00 at the Ontario College of Art. Among the students in the class I met a drummer named Jim Bravo and I got his number. After work I went home.

Frank Buxton

            On Saturday morning I memorized the fourth verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. There is only one verse left to learn. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar for the last of two sessions. Tomorrow I’ll begin a two session stretch of playing my Martin acoustic guitar. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I went to No Frills where only three bags of grapes were firm enough. I also bought three packs of raspberries, bananas, two T-bone steaks, olive oil, a jug of low sugar iced tea, two containers of skyr, a bag of Miss Vickie’s chips, and a pack of toilet paper. I did a price match of the raspberries because No Frills had them for $4.99 while Freshco had them for $1.88. 

            When I got home I went back out to the liquor store to buy a six-pack of Creemore. 

            For lunch I had Swiss cheese crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87 kilos at 17:53. I was caught up on my journal at 18:52. 

            I compared the song practice video of my acoustic performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” on September 27 with that of September 6 and I found September 27 to be rushed. I still think September 6 is ahead in charm and character. I compared September 28 to September 6 and had to listen a few times. September 28 looks and sounds better though September 6 is still slightly more expressive. I think that I’ll go with September 28 for now. I compared October 1 to September 28 and I think October 1 looks better and is slightly more expressive. I compared October 2 to October 1 and I think October 1 looks better with better lighting. I compared October 7 to October 1 and I think October 1 still looks better. There are four more acoustic takes to compare. 

            I managed to put in about 45 minutes of practice for my performance at my book launch a week from now. I worked mostly on the final chorus of “Paranoiac Utopia” and made some progress. I’m feeling good about this song but still need to play it all the way thorough and then I need to feel good about “Memo To the Heart of Insecurity”, and “The Next State of Grace”, the other two poems that I plan on singing that day. 

            I made pizza on multigrain sandwich bread with turkey Kielbasa and four-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching episodes 6 to 10 of Batfink. 

            In episode 6, Hugo Agogo has stolen all the water from Niagara Falls. On the way to drive Batfink to catch Hugo, Karate stops at a roadside water stand but doesn’t recognize that it’s Hugo who is running the stand. He fills their can with sand. There is a trap door in front of the stand and Karate is caught in a net while Batfink is trapped in a barrel. Hugo drops the barrel over the edge of the now dry Niagara Falls. Karate is pulling items out of his pocket in his search for a pair of scissors to cut the net. One of the items is a live bomb which explodes beneath Batfink and opens up an underground river that shoots a geyser to catch Batfink. 

            In episode 7, a priceless Van Gough painting is being delivered to the museum when a hand reaches up from under a manhole and grabs it. It’s Manhole Manny who also reaches up to steal the tires of police cars that are searching for him. Batfink is notified and he and Karate go down in the main street sewer tunnel to find Manny. Manny floods the tunnel and Batfink’s wings of steel are weighing him down (but if they weigh him down in water, how can he fly in the air?). But Batfink finds the sewer drain plug and saves himself. Batfink uses his sonar to find Manny down another manhole. But they are trapped in a thick cell and above it workmen are blasting their way down with dynamite. Karate chops a hole in the ceiling and dynamite falls through. Batfink flies up through the hole with the dynamite and stops the workman from pressing the plunger. Then he captures Manny. 

            In episode 8, the observatory sees a meteor headed for the city and calls the police, who call for evacuation. Batfink says a meteor is not scheduled to hit the city for another 99 years. Batfink flies to investigate the meteor and finds that it is a platform, a screen and a projector creating the illusion of a meteor. Now that the city is evacuated the movie making criminal Mr. Flick is stealing everything. Batfink finds him with his super sonar. Flick shoots Batfink with his popcorn gun and scoops him into a box that he lowers in hot butter. But Batfink dodged the scoop and now punctures the butter vat to make Flicks escape route slippery. 

            In episode 9, knights in armour on horseback with jousting lances are robbing the city. Batfink goes to investigate and is attacked by a knight but the knight is stopped. It turns out the knights are robots. They capture another robot and remove its circuitry then hide inside to ride to the headquarters of whatever mastermind is behind it all. It turns out to be Hugo Agogo again. More robot knights attack and Batfink and Karate are captured. Batfink is strapped down as spikes lower towards him but his wings cut him free and also cut the spikes. Hugo is captured and tied to a robot programmed by Batfink to take him to police headquarters. 

            In episode 10, the world’s thinnest thief Skinny Minny and her henchmen Boney Mahoney, Diet Wyatt and Scrawny Ronnie are planning a series of robberies. They are so thin that they can slip into armoured cars and other places to rob them. Batfink sends his super sonar to hide inside the bank deposit box because he’s sure Minny’s gang will try to rob it. He’s right and when they do the Beep follows them to their hideout. The gang hides in the hideout so it appears empty. Batfink and Karate search upstairs but after they enter a room bars come down to cage them. The bars are electrified and the ceiling is lowering to crush them. Batfink’s wings break through the floor. Karate lands on top of Minny and her gang. 

            Batfink and Hugo Agogo were played by Frank Buxton, who worked as a producer and director for local TV stations in Buffalo and Chicago. He became a standup comedian. He toured Australia for a year as Albert in the musical Bye Bye Birdie. He was the host of the children’s show Discovery and the game show Get the Message. He directed 9 episodes of The Odd Couple, 3 of Happy Days, and 4 of Mork and Mindy. He created the Peabody Award winning Saturday morning TV show Hot Dog. He co-wrote What’s Up Tiger Lily with Woody Allen. He co-wrote two books on the golden age of radio.

November 24, 1994: There was no word from Mistress Maria about my failed slave initiation

Thirty years ago today

            On Thursday I posed from 9:00 to 16:00 at the Ontario College of Art and then I went home for an hour. Then I went back downtown to pose for OCA in the Stewart building from 19:00 to 22:00. There was still no word from Mistress Maria after what was probably my failed slave initiation, although she had left a message on Wednesday that she’d call today.

Batfink

            On Friday morning I memorized the third verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. I revised my translation of the chorus and the second verse. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions.

            I weighed 87.35 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I worked for an hour sanding the rest of the inside of my bathroom door. Now all the sanding is done in the bathroom and so next I need to wash the ceiling and walls to prepare them for filling the cracks and holes. I’ll start that on December 2. I thought I was going to have to buy my own stepladder but I notice there’s an unchained one on the deck now so I might not need to. Now my middays are free to practice for my performance at my book launch in a week, except for Saturdays when I go to the supermarket at midday. 

            I weighed 86.95 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.1 kilos at 18:11. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:50. 

            I compared the video of my September 11 acoustic song practice performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” with that of September 6. September 6 looks better and I’m more expressive. I compared September 15 to September 6 and still think that September 6 has more presence and better lighting. I compared September 16 to September 6 and found that September 16 has a few wrong chords and doesn’t look and feel quite as good. I compared September 21 to September 6 and though I think September 21 looks better I’m still feeling the expression of September 6 keeps it on top. I compared September 25 to September 6 and September 25 is better but I got a word wrong and so I’ll keep September 6 in the running for now. I compared September 26 to September 6 and I think September 6 is still so far the best. There are nine more acoustic takes to compare. 

            I got in almost an hour of practice of my song “Paranoiac Utopia” in preparation for my book launch performance and I definitely made progress. I’m still not able to play the song all the way through but I’m holding sections of it together better and they are sounding good. I think in another session I’ll manage to sew some of those parts together. I’ve been worried about time but I’m starting to feel optimistic at least about this song. I still have to re-learn “Memo to the Heart of Insecurity” and polish up “The Next State if Grace”. 

            I had a small potato with the rest of my gravy and a slice of roast beef while watching the first five episodes of Batfink. Batfink is a not particularly clever or funny parody of the Batman TV series with a bit of The Green Hornet thrown in. While Batman is a man who uses bat imagery for his character, Batfink is an actual humanoid talking bat with wings of steel and sonar powers. The BEEPs from his sonar travel through the air and it’s as if the word “BEEP” is solid in how it affects things. The Beep also seems to be intelligent. His assistant Karate is a very large and somewhat dumb parody of The Green Hornet’s sidekick Kato. Batfink’s car is called the Battilac but it looks more like a Volkswagen with bat fins. Batfink also has a hotline to police headquarters and the police chief is always calling him for help in solving a crime. Apparently Batfink is a cyborg but that isn’t indicated in these first five episodes. I’ve read that it’s shown in the final, 100th episode. When he says he has wings of steel at first I thought that it was a metaphor like Superman being “the man of steel”. But the fact that his wings are affected by magnets and have retro rockets suggests that he may actually be a cyborg. 

            In episode 1, the police chief calls because the priceless pink pearl of Persia has disappeared. Batfink goes to the museum and the Beeps of his sonar check for clues. He tells the police chief he knows who stole the pearl but refuses to bring the crook in. The cops and the media think Batfink has turned criminal and so does the gangster who actually stole the pearl. The bad guy calls Batfink to invite him to join forces and gives his address. Batfink walks in and takes the pearl. The gang starts firing but Batfink can use his wings as a bulletproof shield. Then when Karate hears the shots he thinks his boss is in trouble and busts down the door, flattening Batfink. While Batfink is flat on the floor he pulls the carpet out from under the crooks. The pearl flies into Karate’s hands. They drive away, chased by the crooks but Karate turns down a dead end and crashes the Battilac into a wall and the crook retrieves the pearl. The gangsters pull Batfink’s wings apart so their boss has a clear shot but Batfink uses his sonar to cause the mobster pain and then fights free and captures them all. Batfink reveals that he was fibbing when he said he knew who stole the pearl, and so it was a trap so the crook would find him. 

            In episode 2, a mad scientist named Hugo Agogo has caused the city’s electrical system to go haywire and L trains start suddenly moving backward and forward. Batfink tries to find the cause of the chaos with his sonar. But Hugo uses his super duper sonar ruiner which sends out Boops that ambush Batfinks Beeps. But Batfink follows the Boops back to Hugo’s observatory lair. The welcome mat at Hugo’s door springs Batfink inside and into a trap door where he is strapped to a chair and encased in a steam cabinet that threatens to melt his wings. But Batfink’s sonar Beeps fly through the air and turn the dial to turn off the trap. Then a giant magnet pins Batfink’s wings. He signals for Karate who puts on his brass knuckles but then gets caught by the magnet next to Batfink (Brass would not be attracted by a magnet). Batfink says that they are at opposite poles and so if they touch they will cancel it out and so they are freed. Hugo is behind a cast iron door but Batfink’s wings cut through it. Hugo escapes in his mobile city destroyer. The Batillac follows but Hugo causes it to be caught in power lines. However the Batillac is equipped with a thermonuclear insulated plutonium heat shield. They catch up when Hugo runs out of gas but he has a bomb. Batfink’s wings shield them from the explosion but Hugo is knocked out. 

            In episode 3, Hugo has joined forces with Ebenezer Freezer and they attack a military base to encase a colonel in ice. Batfink sends out his sonar and the beeps go into a cloud but they come out encased in ice. Batfink uses his thunder gun to destroy the cloud and reveal Hugo’s helicopter. Hugo tells Ebenezer to use his freezing gas but he used the last drop to make iced tea. Hugo throws the glass at Batfink and knocks him out so he falls but his wings have built-in retro rockets to control his descent. Batfink finds their underground hideout and catches them preparing a freezing rocket. Batfink reveals himself but is shot with a freezing gun and the cube is strapped to the rocket. But the ice melts on re-entry and Batfink catches the crooks after evading a few more unclever tricks. 

            In episode 4, a man named Boomer is flying a supersonic plane low through the city and breaks all the glass including the windshields on the Batillac. It turns out that Boomer owns the Boomer Glass Company and is making millions from people wanting to replace their glass. Batfink comes to him too and doesn’t suspect that Boomer is the villain until as they are about to drive away Karate puts the Battilac in reverse and it crashes into the hangar where Boomer’s plane is. Boomer traps Batfink and Karate in liquid glass. But the tips of Batfink’s wings are diamond hard and sharp enough to cut through the glass. Batfink chases Boomer’s plane and has to shield himself from its jets. 

            In episode 5, Big Ears Ernie the safe cracker has enormous ears that give him super hearing and help him avoid the police while he cracks safes. Batfink sends out his sonar to track Big ears but Big Ears hears the beeps coming and traps them in a box. So Batfink uses the muffler from the Batillac to silence his sonar and this time Big Ears doesn’t hear them. Big Ears traps Batfink and Karate in quick drying cement. Batfink begins to hit his own wings producing loud vibrations that are painful to Big Ears and he surrenders.

November 23, 1994: Adina explained why she broke up with me and I kind of understood

Thirty years ago today

            On Wednesday I posed at Central Technical School until 15:00 and then went home for a while. In the evening I went back downtown for the Fat Albert’s open stage. I got a high number and so did John Margerm and so we went together up to the open stage at the Black Rooster. I performed first and then headed back down to Fats where I found Adina. After I performed, Adina and I went to a Greek cafeteria to talk. She tried to explain her decision about us. She said she’d just thought it was going to be a short relationship anyway. I kind of understood her explanations. I walked her to the subway and she hugged me goodnight.

Bill Dana

            On Thursday morning I wasn’t quite able to memorize the third verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg because one line kept slipping away from me. I should have it nailed down tomorrow. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar during song practice for the last of two sessions. Tomorrow I’ll begin a two session stretch of playing my Kramer electric. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I sanded a little more of the inside of the bathroom side of the bathroom door. I got the top half done and I’m hoping to finish it tomorrow so I can focus more on rehearsing for my book launch in a little over a week. 

            I weighed 87 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride and stopped at Freshco on my way back. I bought five bags of red grapes, three packs of raspberries, bananas, a pack of five-year-old cheddar, three bags of skim milk, a tin of Full City Dark coffee, a jar of salsa, and a pack of Sponge Towels. They had packs of two on sale but I did the math and a pack of six that’s not on sale is still cheaper.

            I weighed 87.2 kilos at 18:45. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:30. 

            I reviewed the song practice video of my performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” on October 15 playing my Kramer electric guitar and the take at 34:30 wasn’t bad. 

            I compared my acoustic performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” on September 6 with that of September 9 and found that September 6 has more presence and energy even though it has a few more mistakes so September 6 wins this round. There are fifteen more acoustic takes to compare. 

            I had time for about fifteen minutes of practice of my song “Paranoiac Utopia”. I don’t know if I made progress but at least I kept the song warm in my brain until I can rehearse it hopefully tomorrow. 

            I had a small potato with gravy and a slice of roast beef while watching the last episode of The Beatles cartoon series and half of episode 25 of The Bill Dana Show.

            In story 1 of The Beatles finale, in the kingdom of Kropotkin a young prince is bored and wants to lead a rock band. His instrument is a comb and tissue paper but he is a horrible musician. The evil prime minister hates the prince and wants to take over. Princess Amalia of Calca Malia loves the prince but hates his music. The prime minister loves the princess, which is another reason why he wants to get rid of the prince. He convinces the prince that he is a great musician and should go out into the world to find a band to lead. Amalia is forced to be promised in marriage to the prime minister who now rules the kingdom. She is trapped in the tower and puts a note in a bottle which she throws down the mountain. Meanwhile the Beatles are in a car winding their way up the mountain when the bottle hits Ringo in the head. The note is addressed to the Beatles asking them to find the prince. Then the prince lands in front of them to ask if they need a leader for their group and then plays his comb. They tell him it’s terrible and now he knows. They take him back to the castle to save the princess while the song “Wait” is playing. They crash through the castle gate in their car. But the prime minister pulls a cord and the car with our heroes in it falls through a trap door and he grabs the princess to carry her away. The car is back in pursuit and is closing in when the prime minister brings down a gate to stop them from following. But John hooks a rope onto the gate and the car is put in reverse, causing it to spin its tires on the carpet which in turn pulls the carpet towards them that the prime minister is running away on, pulling the prime minister back to the gate. The prince confronts the prime minister for lying that he blew great comb and tissue paper. The prime minister denies he was lying and so the prince challenges him to say that under the Kropotkin Bell of Truth. He does and the big bell falls on him. 

            The first singalong is to “Penny Lane”. The second singalong is to “Eleonor Rigby”. 

            The final Beatles story for this series begins with John reading a King Arthur story to some children. John falls asleep and dreams he is in the book where Merlin takes him to see Arthur. Arthur has just learned of a fire breathing dragon menacing the land and so he takes Merlin and John the troubadour with him to fight the dragon. Arthur is having a tough time with the dragon and so Merlin tells John he’ll have to put the monster to sleep by singing. John says he can’t sing alone because he’s part of a group and so Merlin transports the rest of the Beatles there and they don’t seem a bit surprised. They play “I’m Only Sleeping”, which was written mostly by John. George’s lead guitar is played backwards and that’s the first time that was ever done in a recording. The song is about how much John enjoyed sleeping. The song puts the dragon to sleep. Then it wakes up and puts the Beatles in its mouth but they keep playing and it falls asleep again. John wakes up in the real world with the Beatles there. It was a dream but they all remember having been in it. 

            In The Bill Dana Show, Dana plays his most famous character Jose Jiminez who works as a bell hop in a hotel. Also working there is another bellhop named Eddie, Byron Glick the hotel detective, and the hotel manager Mr. Phillips. 

            The scene opens in Phillips’s office where Glick has his gun drawn as he supervises Mr. Brown who is changing the combination of the safe. Glick is played by Don Adams and he is identical to Adams’s later character of Maxwell Smart, right down to the “Would you believe” gag he often did. Glick receives the new combination, commits it to memory and then locks the combination in the safe. Glick tells Jose the numbers are embedded in his brain. Jose says, “They are in bed with your brain”. Glick says his father had one of the great memory acts in vaudeville but then Glick can’t remember his father’s name. Phillips arrives and Jose shows him a list of the seating arrangement for today’s banquet. While they are going over it a lot of numbers are spoken and Glick realizes that he has lost the combination. Later a sheik approaches Jose and asks if he knows who he is. Jose responds, “You don’t know who you are?” He says he is the caliph of Ranjapoor. Jose says he’s the bellhop of very poor. It turns out the caliph is Glick. Then a sophisticated British guest named Bardley is at the desk and Jose thinks it’s also Glick and so he pulls his beard, which makes Bardley demand to see the manager. Phillips comes and invites him for tea in his office. Then Bardley pulls a gun and demands that Phillips open the safe. Phillips says he can’t but Bardley doesn’t believe him. At that point the video freezes because only 59% downloaded in a year. There’s no version on You Tube or any other online player and no synopsis on IMD. I assume that either Jose or Glick or both save the day.

            Bill Dana’s career as an entertainer began in the comedy team of Dana and Wood. He worked as a writer for Steve Allen. The Bill Dana Show was a spin-off of The Danny Thomas Show as was The Andy Griffith Show. I remember the Bolivian character of Jose Jiminez appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show many times. Jose would always be interviewed by Sullivan about some exotic job he had, like the time he was an astronaut. Dana also made recordings of comedy songs he wrote. Since Dana was not Hispanic the character of Jose Jiminez would be considered extremely politically incorrect in the modern world. He created the character of Jose for the “Man in the street” segments of The Steve Allen Show. He also had a management company that handled Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. Don Adams’s “Would you believe” routines were written by Dana. He wrote and produced The Spike Jones Show. He co-wrote the Get Smart movie The Nude Bomb. He wrote one of the most famous episodes of All In the Family, in which Sammy Davis Jr. appears. He co-starred in the movie I Wonder Who’s Killing Her Now. He co-starred in the TV series Zorro and Son.