Friday, 28 November 2025

John Alexander


            On Thursday morning I translated another couple of verses of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 
            I found a YouTube audio for “Tout l’monde est musician” (All of Us Are Musicians) by Serge Gainsbourg and memorized the first verse. I revised my translation of the first three verses. 
            I weighed 89.05 kilos before breakfast. 
            I played my old Epi acoustic during song practice for the first of two sessions. 
            At about 12:05 I headed up to Yonge and St. Clair to get a haircut from Amy at Top Cuts. I had to wait about half an hour. For the first time I made it clear to Amy that I want a visible part on the right side. Previously I always tried to make one and my hair would stick up. 
            I had a date to meet Brian Haddon at 14:00 and I was there exactly on time but he was slightly early and waiting for me by the bicycle stands across from the Artful Dodger. He looked seasonally appropriate with the snow falling on him in his long white beard and parka. Our favourite corner seat by the window in the north room was occupied so we sat in the not as cozy corner at the back. I was happy to learn that Brian’s cancer surgery was 100% successful. We shared a pitcher of Creemore. Brian always orders the steak and mushroom pie. I had the Don Juan chicken wrap with chipotle mayo, guacamole, cheddar, lettuce and tomato and it was delicious. We talked for about three hours. We’ll probably get together again in January. 
            It was a cold and damp ride back to Parkdale. I stopped at Freshco where most of the grapes were too soft. I got three bags, three packs of raspberries, a box of frozen buffalo chicken wings, two packs of Full City Dark coffee, three bags of skim milk, a pack of hot Genoa salami, and a pack of Sponge Towels. 
            It was too late to take a siesta. I weighed 88.75 kilos at 18:15.
            I was caught up in my journal at 20:24. 
            I reviewed some of the next cassette on the pile. It’s my first interview on CIUT. The Howl interviewer thought that I was Christian Bok. 
            I had a potato with gravy and the last of my peameal bacon while watching season 1, episode 13 of Car 54 Where Are You? 
            Somehow Toody has been elected treasurer of the 53rd Precinct charity fund to raise money for the summer camp for inner city kids. Nobody wanted him to be treasurer and so how did he get elected? They have raised $824 towards their goal and Toody is told to put it in the bank and not to invest it in any get rich quick scheme. Toody tells Muldoon to punch him in the nose if he doesn’t put it in the bank. In the bank he runs into Fink Foster who he once arrested. He has $4000 in the bank and is investing it in Peruvian Tin Plate. Then he meets Tony Shoeshine who used to shine shoes at the precinct. He’s investing in Pratt Plastics which is 50 cents a share but next week it’ll be $50. Toody walks out of the bank without depositing the money and Muldoon punches him in the nose. The next day Fink is arrested again and Tony is back shining shoes. The cops take a vote on whether or not to invest the money and they give in. With the advice of Muldoon’s stock broker cousin Toody invests all the money in the safe stock of a big, successful and solid US company called International Sulphur. But Toody needs to be reassured and so Muldoon takes him to the International Sulphur building to prove it exists. Toody says he has to meet the president C.F. Cartwright. Muldoon doesn’t think he’ll see them but when he learns they are police officers he lets them into his office. Toody walks behind Cartwright’s desk and puts his face close to his to look into his eyes. From then on he has no doubt. Muldoon tells Cartwright about the children’s camp and Cartwright is driven to tears. But when two stockholders in the outer office see two cops leave a crying Cartwright they call up their brokers and tell them to sell. Stock drops for International Sulphur for the first time. Toody assures the other cops at the 53rd Precinct that their money is still safe and invites them to meet Cartwright to reassure them. Cartwright wants them all to know their money is safe with his company and so he lets them take his files to read. But when investors see a parade of cops walking out of Cartwright’s office with his books they think he is under investigation and sell even harder. The stock drops again so the cops go back to Cartwright and he’s heading for Washington to face a sudden investigation into his company brought on by these accidents. He’s late for the airport and so the officers escort him but it looks to reporters like he’s under arrest. Finally a federal investigation uncovers what caused all of this and Cartwright calls Toody to tell him he’s buying the police shares for $1500 and tells him not to come to pick it up, then urges him to put the money in the bank. 
            Cartwright was played by John Alexander, who joined a Shakespeare repertory company at 16 and made his Broadway debut in 1908 in Elmer Brown as the title character. He made his film debut in Baby Take a Bow in 1934. He is best known for playing Teddy Brewster, the man who thinks he’s Teddy Roosevelt in Arsenic and Old Lace on Broadway and in the 1944 film. He co-starred in The Marrying Kind.



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