Ruth White

            On Monday morning I finished translating the twelfth verse and half the final verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. There are only three lines left and so I should have it done tomorrow. 

            I worked out the chords for half of the chorus of “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. I think the first two lines of the second half mirror the tune of the first and then it changes slightly but I’ll find out for sure on Tuesday. 

            I weighed 88.5 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since last Monday. 

            I played my Epi acoustic for the second of three sessions and it stayed in tune most of the time. Tomorrow I’ll be hopefully picking up my Martin from Alex Wood. 

            Around midday I shaved and showered and then went over to the hardware store to buy some small brushes so I can start doing touch-ups of the bathroom ceiling edges and tops of the walls on Wednesday. I got a pack of three with pony hair bristles. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Freshco on my way back where I bought five bags of grapes, a jug of orange juice, and a jug of iced tea. I price matched the grapes to the Real Canadian Superstore's $6.59 a kilo.

            I weighed 88.95 kilos at 18:45. That’s the furthest I’ve pushed the scale in the evening since November 30. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:51. 

            I reviewed the last of my self recorded cassette tapes. It was recorded over something official sounding in French and is still mostly that. On one side there is a Leonard Cohen interview called “Poetry is a Verdict” with Laurie Brown on CBC. Along with that there are snippets of attempts to record my pre-verbal daughter. I digitized it. All that’s left is the studio recorded tape On a Sour Note by Jim Bravo, who played drums with my band a few times; and another by the band Bomb Shelter Light that played at my open stage. 

            I grilled 8 chicken drumsticks and had two with a potato and gravy while watching season 1, episode 24 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Muldoon has a reputation for being shy around attractive women and so he is always chosen as a trusted escort when a friend needs him to look after his girlfriend while he’s away, when the captain needs him to guide some Vassar College girls on a tour of the precinct, and when wives need reassurance that there will be no fooling around on a night out with the boys. All the guys want Muldoon to do things for them on Saturday night because they know he won’t have a date but now he’s fed up and tells them all he has a date even though he doesn’t. But they don’t believe him so he decides to pretend he has a date. In front of the boys he calls up the phone service one calls to hear the exact time and pretends he’s flirting with his date. He says he’s taking her to the Club Chi Chi and doesn’t expect to actually go there but then Toody is borrowing his car that night and insists on dropping him off. Muldoon goes in the club abd leaves after Toody drives away but then officers O’Hara and Sanders drive up and he ducks back in. They want to check on Muldoon’s girl and so desperately he sits down with the extremely conservative Mr. and Mrs. Parker who are observing rather than celebrating their daughter Priscilla’s 21st birthday because she wanted to see a night club as a present. Muldoon puts his arm around Priscilla and asks them all to play along. Priscilla just looks stunned while her parents catch a glimpse of Muldoon’s gun under his jacket. They comply obediently because they think he‘s a gangster and fear for their lives. When O’Hara and Sanders leave, Muldoon thinks he’s in the clear and leaves the Parkers. But when he leaves the club, Officers Schnauzer and Henderson roll up. Just then the Parkers are leaving and so Muldoon grabs Priscilla again and says they all have to walk together. His colleagues follow in the squad car and the Parkers don’t live far away and so Muldoon insists on coming in. Schnauzer is too nosy to drive away and watches through the window as Muldoon sits on the couch with Priscilla, who has not reacted or spoken this whole time. Muldoon says he has to call mother but Mr. Parker thinks “Mother” is a code name for the head gangster. Muldoon decides to just leave even though his friends are still outside but Priscilla in thinking he is about to be arrested suddenly comes to life and begs him to take her with him and they can escape through the back. She says he’s the first man who ever noticed her and now she belongs to him. Schnauzer and Henderson come in and help Muldoon get away but Priscilla thinks he’s under arrest and shouts that she’ll wait for him. The next week Muldoon calls Priscilla and now she’s all dolled up and transformed into a confident woman. She tells her parents she’ll be out until 2:00. 

            Priscilla was played by Sybil Lamb but other than a few Broadway appearances there’s very little information about her career. 

            Mrs. Parker was played by Ruth White, who studied acting with Maria Ouspenskaya. She was the lead resident actress for five years at the Bucks County Playhouse. She made her Broadway debut in 1949 in Ivy Green. She became a critically acclaimed actor in New York theatre. She was nominated for a Tony for her performance in The Birthday Party. In 1962 she won an Obie award for her work in the off Broadway play Happy Days. She was nominated for an Emmy for her role in the TV play Little Moon of Alban. She taught acting and drama at Seton Hall University in New Jersey.

December 9, 1995: It was a cold day so my daughter and I played inside

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I probably got together with my daughter either at my place or up in Scarborough. It was a cold day so we likely played inside.

Frederick O'Neal

            On Sunday morning after midnight there was an email from Best Buy and they finally called me Christian instead of Astrid but said I need to call them again. Maybe my edits set off alarm bells even though the edits are the correct information. I’ll have to call them after 8:00. 

            I translated the third refrain and half the twelfth verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I worked out the chords for the first two lines of the chorus of “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I called Best Buy one more time as they requested and the person told me she’s sure the problem is with my bank. So I called the Bank of Montreal again and this time the wait time was 5 to 15 minutes and so I waited. I found out that the problem with my Best Buy purchase really was with the bank because the $3200 exceeded my limit. I got them to increase my limit and so now it’s $10,000. I also suggested that they notify customers when a purchase is being blocked and give the reason. As it was I was in limbo for the last two days not knowing why my computer purchase was not being processed. The guy said it was a good idea and filed my complaint. 

            I weighed 88 kilos before breakfast. 

            I was 15 minutes late starting song practice because of my time on the phone and so I finished breakfast first. I played my Epi acoustic for the first of three sessions and it stayed in tune the whole time.

            I cleaned one of my warm mist humidifiers and set the other one working. While the humidifier was soaking in vinegar I removed the painters tape from the east, north and west edges of the bathroom ceiling. As I expected there are some thin strips of white that need to be touched up but unexpectedly at the south west corner a section of paint about the width of a cracker and the length of two slices of bread peeled off the ceiling and the wall. I assume the steam from the shower had something to do with how the paint stuck to the tape there. It’s probably not that big a deal and just a matter of a few brush strokes with each colour to fix it on Wednesday. 

            I weighed 88.95 kilos before lunch, which is the most I’ve weighed in the early afternoon since last Sunday. I had Sky Flakes crackers with peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar. I didn’t have any iced tea but I drank a Body Armour strawberry-banana drink that they gave away at the supermarket a year and a half ago. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            When I got home I was curious and so I spent about fifteen minutes removing the rest of the tape. Most of it came out evenly and this time no paint peeled off. On Wednesday I’ll start touching up the ceiling edges and it shouldn’t take long. I have plenty of the ceiling and the wall paint. 

            I weighed 88.75 kilos at 18:30.

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:42. 

            I finished reviewing the rehearsal cassette tape of Steve Lowe and I at my place. One side has him trying to learn “Spool of the Moon” and on the other side we worked on “Snow on a Poppy”. Neither song became part of the Christian and the Lions repertoire. There are only three more cassettes to review and only one of them looks like a tape of me or my band. I’ll find out tomorrow what’s on it. 

            I had pizza on a slice of Bavarian sandwich bread with marinara sauce, tomato pesto, Genoa salami, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching season 1, episode 23 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Lieutenant Cushman brings four rookies to the 53rd Precinct to work with seasoned officers. He has used what he calls “The Cushman Method” and has carefully studied the officers and the rookies to make the most compatible matches. Garfield will ride in car 46 with Wallace and O’Hara. Corrigan will ride in car 54 with Toody and Muldoon. Captain Block is surprised by this choice because the last time a rookie was assigned to car 54 he joined the fire department. But Cushman says the matching is of Corrigan with just Muldoon because they are both academics and intellectuals. Corrigan graduated from the police academy with highest marks ever and he is a Harvard Graduate. Muldoon is also a college graduate and was the top man in his class at the Academy. Cushman’s plan is to ultimately have Corrigan replace Toody. Wallace finds it a relief to have someone to talk with besides O’Hara. When Corrigan goes out with Toody and Muldoon, Toody tries to get him to talk about sports but he’s not interested. Corrigan’s rapport with Muldoon begins when Corrigan starts a quote in French by Voltaire: “Il ne se servent de la pensée que pour autoriser leurs injustices” and Muldoon finishes it: “et n'emploient les paroles que pour déguiser leurs pensées”: (They only use thought to authorize their injustices” then Muldoon adds, “and only use words to disguise their thoughts”). Corrigan says Voltaire based most of his essays on the fundamentals laid down by Montaigne. But Muldane doesn’t think he did so consciously. He says they were both confronted by the growing tendency towards materialism. Corrigan asks, “Wouldn’t it be funny if they were both written by the same person?” Muldoon adds, “Like the Baconian theory of Shakespeare” and they both laugh as Toody laughs as well though he has no idea what they are talking about. Then Muldoon quotes Cisero: “O tempora o mores” (Oh the times, oh the customs). They talk about the sad state of modern poetry and Muldoon says, except for a few avant garde poets they are just aping the 19th Century Romanticists. Then they discuss Bernstein’s recording of the Manfred Overture. Muldoon says Bernstein’s approach is contemporary but its energy and intention make it the cyclical symphony it is. Corrigan adds, “What overtones he gives! What long brooding lines!” Toody interjects that Bernstein is just a bandleader but a bandleader is better when he can do more than shake a stick and also sings along with his band like Vaughn Monroe or plays a washboard like Spike Jones. Those are good points. Toody says there are 110 musicians in the New York Philharmonic and the law of averages states that if 70 of them play right they make Bernstein look good. He adds Muggsy Spanier’s Tuxedo Five only has five guys. If one of them makes a mistake Muggsy looks like a bum. After work Muldoon and Corrigan go to Carnegie Hall to hear the Budapest String Quartet even though it’s bowling night. Toody decides to skip bowling too and borrows a volume of the encyclopaedia from the library so he can find something intelligent to talk about. The next day he tries to discuss aardvarks. It doesn’t work and Toody feels left out. He finally decides to transfer to another partner and Cushman matches him with Schnauzer in another car. But now car 54 is passing right by as crimes are being committed. When Muldoon is confronted about this he says he wants Corrigan off his back. He says when Toody talks he talks nonsense and so Muldoon doesn’t have to listen, which allows him to concentrate on police work. But Corrigan’s conversation is too intelligent and distracting. Muldoon and Toody are reunited and happy. 

            Wallace was played by Frederick O’Neal, who started acting professionally in St Louis in 1927. He made his New York debut in 1936 with the Civic Repertory Theatre. He co-founded the American Negro Theatre in 1940, which became the first black theatre company to produce a black radio series. He gave Sidney Poitier free acting lessons. He also co-founded the British Negro Theatre. In 1944 he won the Clarence Derwent award for his Broadway performance in Anna Lucasta. He made his film debut in Pinky in 1949. In 1964 he became the president emeritus of the Actors Equity Association and Associated Actors and Artistes of America. He was on Nixon’s list of enemies.

December 8, 1995: I busked on Queen Street near the Horseshoe Tavern

Thirty years ago today 

            On Friday I probably spent the day writing and then went to perform on the Spit Fridays open stage at the Cameron House. After that I might have busked on Queen Street near the Horseshoe Tavern.

Athena Lorde

            On Saturday morning I checked my email and there was a message from Best Buy to contact them by phone to confirm my bank card information. I was suspicious but when I searched the phone number it was definitely that of Best Buy. They said they’ll cancel my computer order in five days if I don’t contact them. I think it’s because my first purchase from them last year was a gift for my daughter Astrid, which I had them ship to her in Montreal. Ever since then when they send me notifications they call me Astrid. I think I just have to confirm my identity for them and I’ll try to do that this morning.

            After yoga I translated the eleventh verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian.

            I worked out the chords for the first verse of “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I called up Best Buy and assume I was talking to someone in India. She was audibly yawning when she first greeted me. Later she was coughing and I asked if she was okay. In a bored voice she thanked me for asking. She adjusted my billing information and assured me everything was fine now and my order would be processed. 

            I weighed 88.3 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the last of two sessions. It stayed in tune about half the time. Tomorrow I begin a four session stretch of playing my acoustic guitars. I’ll play my Epi for three sessions and might have my Martin back for Wednesday. 

            Around midday I rode over to Vina Pharmacy to pick up my Pico-Salax prescription. The pharmacist told me not to drink anything red or purple with it because the doctor might think it’s blood during the colonoscopy. It cost me $37.75. 

            I went to No Frills where all the grapes were too soft so I got two bags of oranges instead. I also bought three packs of raspberries, some bananas, two packs of five-year-old cheddar, a strawberry-rhubarb pie, tomato pesto, some kitchen garbage bags, a box of spoon size shredded wheat, two containers of skyr, and a bag of Miss Vickie’s chips. I also got a pack of two charcoal toothbrushes. It seems to be something new although charcoal may be an old thing for tooth care from some cultures. I’d never heard of it before and frankly I was drawn more to the dark purple colour of one of the brushes. Anyway it’s supposed to make one’s teeth whiter. I haven’t noticed anything drastic in terms of brightening. They’re not widely recommended by dentists because they can be abrasive but they do remove plaque. 

            I weighed 88.7 kilos at 14:30. I had Sky Flakes crackers with peanut butter, five-year-old cheddar and a glass of iced tea. I should have bought iced tea at the supermarket but I mistakenly envisioned myself having plenty. 

            I took a siesta at 15:02 and woke up at 16:38. It was too late to take a bike ride downtown so I just rode to Ossington and Bloor. 

            I got another email from Best Buy saying they were still having problems processing my order. They wanted me to check with my bank but there was a 45 minute wait to call and I didn’t have time. I noticed that my daughter’s name was still on my bank card information on the bill and so I edited it. Ever since I bought her a humidifier last year they’ve been calling me Astrid in their notifications. 

            I weighed 88.75 kilos at 17:50. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:57. 

            I reviewed the next cassette tape on the pile and it was nearly empty except for part of a song by a woman about moving on. It sounds like it was recorded at an open stage. Maybe Fat Albert’s. The next tape is a recording of a rehearsal with Steve Lowe at my place in the Beaches. We worked quite a bit on “Spool of the Moon” and were just starting on “Snow on a Poppy” when I stopped listening for the night. 

            In my 2020-09-24 Song Practice Movie Maker project I continued to delete the songs that come before “Leave Some for Everyone Else”. 

            I made pizza on a slice of Bavarian sandwich bread with marinara sauce, tomato pesto, Genoa salami, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching season 1, episode 22 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Every Thursday night at exactly 23:00 Leo Schnauzer and his wife Sylvia argue very loudly on various topics, such as: Who is the better dancer, Kelly or Astair? Who is the best actor? Who was the best president?, etcetera. Toody and Muldoon are aware of this habit and always arrive before the fight begins to avoid the embarrassment of their fellow officer being arrested for disturbing the peace. But the neighbours always gather in the hall and threaten to report it if they don’t. The rest of the week Leo and Sylvia are annoyingly sweet with one another, so what sets them off on Thursdays? Schnauzer explains that he wakes up mad on Thursdays because he dreads Sylvia being angry over her weekly confrontation with Katz the butcher because she buys chicken on Thursdays and likes to squeeze the chickens before buying them, but Katz doesn’t want her to. So she takes it out on Leo. Schnauzer casually comments, “If only there wasn’t a Thursday!” That gets Toody thinking of a plan to get rid of Thursday for Schnauzer. He thinks that if they miss fighting one Thursday it might break the spell. Toody’s cousin Ed works in the press room of the New York Morning News and Friday morning’s paper is printed on Thursday. The early trial runs come off the press early Thursday so he arranges to get Ed to sneak him a copy before work. So Muldoon pretends to be on the phone when Schnauzer arrives at work and complains how hard it is to order fish on Friday. Then he congratulates Schnauzer for not getting into a fight with Sylvia last night. He says he and Toody were waiting in the hall for things to blow up and nothing happened. Toody comes in with the paper and Schnauzer checks to see it’s Friday. Then Toody changes the day on the sign-in book with the intention of changing it back after Schnauzer signs in. But when he is about to change it back Captain Block is there telling him to go out on patrol and takes the newspaper away from him because an on duty officer shouldn’t be seen reading the paper. Then Block sees the sign-in book and the paper and also thinks it’s Friday, then he tells all the desk officers to get on the ball and they start their Friday paperwork. Then patrolman Nicholson hands in his report for the previous day and Block chews him out for not handing in Thursday’s report. Nicholson seems somewhat in a stupor for the rest of the day. Then a drunk who was just put in a cell is released because everybody thinks it’s the next day. Meanwhile Sylvia has just spent the day with Lucille and Rose and they are talking about seeing the movie Gaslight in which Charles Boyer starts to drive Ingrid Bergman mad when she’s dressed for the ball but he convinces her that they already went the night before. So when she goes home and hears Leo telling her it’s Friday she thinks he’s also trying to drive her insane and so she begins fighting with him. 

            One of Schnauzer’s neighbours was played by Athena Lorde who became a member of the American Theatre Wing. She acted in several popular radio series before she began work in television. She made her TV debut in the soap opera One Man’s Family in 1950. She played Betty Matthews on the soap opera The Greatest Gift in 1955. She also provided voices for several animated features and shows.

December 7, 1995: I posed for a sculpture class

Thirty years ago today

            On Thursday evening I posed for the second of four night school sessions for the sculpture studio of Central Technical School. Each student probably worked on one sculpture over the four nights, which they would kiln and that would be their midterm exam. It’s very possible that I did a standing pose on the turning stage as I often did.

Severn Darden

            On Friday morning I translated the tenth verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. He wrote some long songs. It’s going to be hell to memorize when the time comes. 

            I searched for the chords for “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. No one has posted them and so I worked them out for the intro and the first line. 

            I weighed 87.5 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since October 23. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the first of two sessions and it went out of tune a few times in the beginning but for most of the time stayed in tune. 

            Around midday I finished applying the final coat of wall paint in my bathroom. Wednesday’s the next day I’ll have time for my bathroom project and then I’ll take all the painter’s tape off to see if any touch-ups are needed. After that I’ll buy a liter of the last colour I’ll be needing for the shelves, the door and door frame. 

            I weighed 88.1 kilos at 14:24. 

            I took a siesta until 16:30 and it was too late for a bike ride downtown but I took a ride to Ossington and Bloor. 

            I weighed 88.35 kilos at 18:00. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:53. 

            I reviewed a cassette recording of a Christian and the Lions concert for Sedated Sundays at the El Mocambo. We did “I Saw My Reflection in an Open Wound”, Seven Veils of Armour”, “Thin Red Line” and “Seven Shades of Blues”. 

            I uploaded to YouTube the video of my electric version of “Laisses-en un peu pour les autres”. 

            I started a 2024-09-24 Song Practice Movie Maker project and synchronized the audio with the video. Next I have to delete every song that comes before “Leave Some for Everyone Else”. 

            I had a large potato with gravy and a reheated T-bone steak while watching season 1, episode 21 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Toody and Muldoon are sent to serve an eviction notice to an artist named Karpathia. While the painter is packing, they look at his abstracts, which Muldoon thinks are junk but Toody finds beautiful. Toody especially likes one painting which he says reminds him of lower Manhattan at sunset as seen from the New Jersey side. Suddenly Karpathia kisses Toody because he is the first person who has ever understood his work and “Lower Manhattan at Sunset from the New Jersey side” is the actual name of the painting. He is so appreciative that he gives Toody the painting. Toody takes it home but Lucille hates it. Toody goes back to work while Lucille throws the painting in the garbage. Meanwhile Toody is selling raffle tickets for the precinct Brotherhood Club and the draw is tomorrow but he forgot to acquire a prize for the ticket buyers to win. He decides to present Karpathia’s painting as the prize and finds it outside his building in the garbage. The painting is wrapped and presented to the winner, who it turns out is Schnauzer, who says bad luck runs in his family and he never wins anything. He’s excited about winning until he sees the painting and then realizes winning a piece of garbage is just more bad luck. But he takes it home because his wife wants a frame. Later a museum curator comes to Lucille and asks to borrow Karpathia’s masterpiece for a Karpathia exhibit and tells her it will be worth worth $25,000 (That would be $250,000 today) once it is seen at the exhibit. She tells him it’s impossible but doesn’t say she threw it out. He hopes Toody changes his mind and leaves Lucille standing frozen in shock with her broom. She is still standing there hours later when Toody comes home. She hands him the broom and tells him to beat her. He says she’s alone too much and he’s going to get her a dog. She tells him about the painting and he calls Schnauzer who rushes home to get it but at the gallery when they unwrap it, there is only the frame and Schnauzer’s wedding photo. Schnauzer says not to worry because his wife never throws anything out and they rush back to his place. Meanwhile we see Sylvia bringing home a cookie jar she’s just bought and how obsessively she saves every piece of the packaging right down to the tags. But when Schnauzer comes in and asks where the painting is she says she incinerated it because who wants to keep junk? Karpathia doesn’t care because he has finally reached one soul in Toody who understands his work. He recreates the painting on top of Toody’s wallpaper where the painting had briefly hung. But then Toody starts pointing out other things besides the painting that remind him of lower Manhattan at sunset from the New Jersey side and it turns out it’s just about everything. Karpathia asks him not to mention that if he is interviewed and Toody agrees.

            Karpathia was played by Severn Darden, who was one of the founders of Chicago’s Compass Theatre, which was the first improvisational theatre in the United States and which became Second City of which he was one of the original members. His live improv skit “A Short Talk on the Universe” as the character Walther von der Vogelweide is one of the most influential skits in improv history. He participated in the 1964 Acid Test put on by the Merry Pranksters. He performed in three seasons of the American Shakespeare Festival in Stratford, Connecticut. He was nominated for a Tony for his performance in the musical From the Second City. He co-starred in The President’s Analyst.

December 6, 1995: I performed on two open stages

Thirty years ago today  

            On Wednesday I spent the day writing and then went downtown to perform at Fat Albert’s open stage followed by the Art Bar reading series open stage.

Shari Lewis

            On Thursday morning I translated the second refrain of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I finished memorizing “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. Tomorrow I’ll start looking for the chords. 

            I weighed 87.9 kilos before breakfast.

            I played my old Epi acoustic during song practice for the last of two sessions and it stayed in tune the whole time. Tomorrow I begin a two session stretch of playing my Kramer electric. 

            In my Mae West “She Done Him Wrong” Movie Maker project I made a video of the first scene and published it. I took a couple of screen shots. “She Done Him Wrong” is based on Mae West’s hit Broadway play Diamond Lil, which she also wrote.

            I weighed 88.65 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and on the way back stopped at Freshco. I bought five bags of green grapes, a pork tenderloin (I didn’t notice till I got home that it was from the US, otherwise I wouldn’t have bought it), a jar of natural peanut butter, two packs of Full City Dark coffee, marinara sauce, a small jar of Calabrian sausage spread (very expensive at $10 but I was curious. It’s so hot one can barely taste the sausage), and a pack of Irish Spring soap bars. I did a price match on the grapes with the Real Canadian Superstore’s price of $6.59 a kilo. 

            I weighed 88.25 kilos at 19:00. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 20:13. 

            I reviewed one side of the next cassette on the pile and there are only two poems that I sing acapella at Fat Albert’s. The other side is a Christian and the Lions show. I’ll review that tomorrow. 

            I grilled two T-bone steaks and had one with a small potato and gravy while watching season 1, episode 20 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Police Commissioner Harper is cracking down on out of shape cops. If they are too fat, too skinny, too short or too tall they will be weeded out of the force. The upper height limit is 1.98 meters and Muldoon has always been that height exactly. But now he finds he has gained 2.2 cm and so he is afraid of being fired. He begins scrunching himself down during inspection. He figures if he stands next to other tall people his height will not be so obvious so his partner Toody helps him out by wearing elevator shoes. But Toody has always been the exact same height as Captain Block and so when he looks up at Toody he thinks that he must be shrinking. Muldoon is in charge of the upcoming policeman’s ball but he doesn’t want to go because his height will stand out. Captain Block orders him to go because Commissioner Harper will be there. Then when Muldoon goes home his mother introduces him to the Walsh’s who want someone to date their daughter. When Muldoon sees that both Mr. and Mrs. Walsh are tall he assumes their daughter Melinda will also be tall and so he agrees. But when he arrives to pick her up she turns out to be very short. He makes up an excuse that his right arm has suddenly gone out of wack. She is very nice about it and gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek while standing on a chair. He goes home but feels guilty and finally calls Melinda back to take her. At the ball he dances with Melinda and then Harper calls him over. It turns out that Harper is the same height as Melinda and his wife is very tall. He says he finds it admirable that like him Muldoon is not embarrassed to be seen dancing with a much shorter partner. 

            Melinda was played by the great Shari Lewis, whose father Abraham Hurwitz was the official magician of New York. She studied piano and violin at the New York High School of Music and Art. She studied dance at the American School of Ballet. She studied acting at the Neighbourhood Playhouse. In 1952 her puppetry and ventriloquism won first prize on Arthur Godfrey’s Talent Scouts. In 1953 she made her hosting debut on the children’s show Facts n’Fun with her ventriloquist dummies Samson and Taffy Twinkle. Later that year she became the host of Kartoon Klub and performed with the dummies Randy Rocket and Taffy Twinkle. The name of the show was changed to Shari and Her Friends and then Shariland (which won an Emmy award). She created Lambchop and first performed with the puppet on Captain Kangaroo in March, 1956. On her 1957 show Hi Mom she introduced her puppets Charlie Horse, Hush Puppy, and Wing Ding and won another Emmy. Her first network show was The Shari Lewis Show, which ran from 1960 to 1963. She co-wrote with her husband the Star Trek episode The Lights of Zetar in 1969. She starred in Lambchop’s Play-Along from 1992 to 1997 and The Charlie Horse Music Pizza from 1998 to 1999. She was the voice of Princess Nida on The Arabian Nights cartoon segment of The Banana Splits Adventure Hour. She won 12 Emmy Awards and one Peabody Award. She was also an accomplished symphony conductor.

December 5, 1995: As always I hosted my writers open stage

Thirty years ago today

            On Tuesday evening as always I hosted my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage in the Art Bar of the Gladstone Hotel.

Elisabeth Fraser

            On Wednesday morning I translated the ninth verse and part of the second refrain of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I fell just short of finishing memorizing “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. I should have it done tomorrow. 

            I weighed 87.85 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since November 22. 

            I played my old Epi acoustic during song practice for the first of two sessions and it stayed in tune most of the time. 

            I mopped my living room and kitchen floors and cleaned up the couch and the kitchen table. Nick Cushing arrived at around 13:30 and we set up his green screen. I just took down the rod that holds my bedroom curtains and replaced them with the green screen. He was having trouble with his tripod and so I let him use mine. His friend Nick arrived to play an extra-dimensional cop or something like that. They met when they were kids at a Sea Cadets summer camp and were pen pals after that. Years later they reconnected in Toronto. Nick Cushing gave Nick a shitload of Native cigarettes. The smell of unsmoked tobacco permeated my place for hours. Nick Cushing brought a cape and hood for me and I wore it with my skull mask while pretending to play Death Metal on my Kramer electric in front of the green screen. 

            I weighed 87.75 kilos at 15:35. October 21 was the last time I was that stingy with the scale in the early afternoon. 

            I took a siesta at 16:00 and slept for two hours. 

            I weighed 88.2 kilos at 18:30. That's the same as the evening of October 26. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:10. 

            I reviewed the next cassette on the pile and it was a recording of my daughter Astrid before she could talk. She said “Dada” a lot and made a few other sounds. It’s just on a little bit of side A. I digitized it. 

            In my “2024-09-23 Song Practice” Movie Maker project I deleted everything before the final take of “Laisses-en un peu pour les autres” and saved a copy as the project “Laisses-en un peu pour les autres (electric)”. Then I isolated the song, added a fade to black effect and published it. I took six screen shots and tomorrow I’ll upload it to YouTube. 

            I made pizza on a slice of Bavarian sandwich bread with marinara sauce, tomato pesto, Genoa salami and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching season 1, episode 19 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            This show tends to push the main gag to the limit but it was still funny. 

            Lucille Tudy longs for the days when her husband Gunther was a hero on the football team in high school. But as a police officer he is not sought after for important missions because he is considered to be incompetent. When a crime wave hits downtown Manhattan and all available officers are needed, Toody is still left out. He begs Captain Block for a chance and so he gives in but makes sure Toody is given the least important job. He is partnered with a female officer named Obrien pretending to be his wife and a ten year old boy posing as their son. They are to sit on a bench in Prospect Park to try to catch a purse snatcher. Two women recognize Toody from high school and call Lucille but she thinks it’s hilarious that Gunther would be with a blonde and is sure it’s a mistake. Lucille meets with her sister Rose to go to a movie but Rose says they have to go visit their Aunt Neddie in Brooklyn and they decide to take her for a walk in Prospect Park. When Lucille sees Gunther with a wife and child she faints. Then she goes home to pack her bags, writes a note to Toody and leaves him. When he reads it he faints. Lucille goes to see Captain Block to tell him she wants Toody’s benefits transferred to his Brooklyn family. Block doesn’t know about the Prospect Park stake out because that was assigned downtown. He decides to take Lucille to his wife Elsie because she’ll know what to do. But meanwhile Toody and Muldoon have gone to see Block for advice on this matter. However when they see Block leave the station with Lucille they think Lucille has left Toody for Block. They go to tell Elsie and she faints. When she recovers she writes Block a note and then leaves her husband. She asks Muldoon to take her to his mother who is the only friend she has. Toody has to find Officer Obrien to help clear up this mess. Meanwhile Block brings Lucille home, reads Elsie’s note and faints. When he recovers he knows she would go to Muldoon’s mother because she’s Elsie’s best friend. Muldoon is holding Elsie to comfort her when Block walks in and sees them. When Block tells Muldoon’s mother that her son stole his wife she faints. Then Toody arrives with Obrien and explains everything. Everyone is embracing their proper loved ones when Obrien’s husband storms in and punches Toody because he thinks he’s running around with his wife. 

            Obrien was played by Elisabeth Fraser, who made her Broadway debut in There Shall Be No Night in 1940. This led to a movie contract with Warner Brothers. Her film debut was a co-starring role in One Foot in Heaven in 1941. She co-starred in The Hidden Hand and Hills of Oklahoma. She played Sergeant Bilko’s girlfriend on The Phil Silvers Show. She co-starred in the short-lived sitcoms McKeever and the Colonel and One Happy Family. She wrote a book about a single mother who arrives in Hollywood with three children called Once Upon a Dime.

December 4, 1995: I posed in costume for a Design class

Thirty years ago today

            On Monday night I posed in two changes of costume for a Design class in studio 210 at the Ontario College of Art.

Rex Everhart

            On Tuesday morning I translated the eighth verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the fourth verse of “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. There is only one more verse to nail down so I’ll probably have it done on Wednesday. 

            I weighed 88.35 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since November 22. 

            I played my Kramer electric for the last of four sessions and it only had to be tuned once.

            Around midday I cleaned my bathroom and swept all my floors. I might have time to mop tomorrow before company arrives. 

            I weighed 88.45 kilos before lunch. November 20 was the last time I was that kind to the scale in the early afternoon. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Freshco on the way back. I got two packs of raspberries and five bags of green grapes which I price matched with the slightly cheaper Walmart price of $8.75 a kilo. 

            I weighed 88.4 kilos at 18:50. November 14 was the last evening I was that light but that was heavy for that time. 

            Suddenly my text turned red and underlined. I had to go to Review and undo Track Changes. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:45. 

            I reviewed a cassette recording of some of my takes of “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s place with Mike on drums. These were more polished and developed takes than another cassette that I digitized. 

            In my “2024-09-23 Song Practice” Movie Maker project I deleted all the songs that lead up to “Laisses-en un peu pour les autres” but not the song’s final take. 

            I had two small potatoes with gravy and a chicken leg while watching season 1, episode 18 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Deputy Chief Inspector Corrigan is riding through sector 3 of the 53rd Precinct and is astounded to count 107 violations, including live chickens in cages on the sidewalk. He’s even more surprised to learn that there is an actual police radio car patrolling that sector. He goes to Captain Block and demands that summonses be issued for those infractions. When Toody and Muldoon return from their shift Block refuses to let them punch out and sends them back out to write tickets. Their first stop is Callucci’s fruit and vegetable store and Muldoon goes in to write them a summons. But then Mrs. Callucci tells Muldoon that because his mother has a cold she went over this afternoon and cleaned her house, then she made some Irish stew with marinara sauce for Muldoon’s supper and left it on the stove for him. He can’t bring himself to give them a ticket now. Toody goes into Harry’s Men’s Shop because Harry is advertizing with a loud speaker. Harry tells Toody that he got his wife Lucille a coat she wanted at cost and she called him up crying with gratitude. Toody can’t bring himself to write Harry a ticket either. Meanwhile Corrigan has launched a full investigation into Toody and Muldoon and his researcher has uncovered that although sector 3 stands out for minor infractions it has been the most crime free neighbourhood in New York during the nine years that Toody and Muldoon have been patrolling it. Even the notorious cop fighter Crusack has stopped beating up police officers since car 54 has been on duty. Meanwhile Toody and Muldoon return to Captain Block with no summonses and so he demotes them to walking a beat on the midnight shift on the waterfront. Corrigan goes in plain clothes to sector 3 where he learns that most of the children under nine years of age in that neighbourhood were born in car 54. Many of them have been named Gunther and Francis and even some of the girls were named Gunther. Katz tells him the last time he was held up was just after Muldoon and Toody took over. While the man was pointing a gun at him Katz thought about how much time it would take away from all the nice things Muldoon and Toody do for this neighbourhood if he had them investigate the robbery, so he just hit the robber over the head with a salami instead. He says the other merchants did similar things and so now the neighbourhood is crime free. Corrigan pretends to be a reporter and goes to interview Crusack. He says he likes nothing better than to punch a cop but how can you beat up the guys who delivered your own child in their squad car? How can he pick a fight with officers who drive his mother home from church? Then he starts crying and declares that he’s a failure as a cop fighter. Toody and Muldoon are brought back to sector 3. 

            Crusack was played by Rex Everhart, who earned a degree in Theatre from the Pasadena Playhouse and a Masters degree at New York University. He acted with the Yale Repertory Theatre and for seven seasons with the American Shakespeare Festival in Stratford, Connecticut. He made his Broadway debut in No Time for Sergeants in 1955. He played Benjamin Franklin in the Broadway musical 1776. He was nominated for a Tony for his performance in the Broadway musical Working.

December 3, 1995: My daughter's grandparents dropped her off on their way to German church

Thirty years ago today

            On Sunday my daughter’s grandparents probably dropped her off at my place on their way downtown to the German church service.

Jan Murray

            On Monday after midnight I started looking into a new computer. I figured I’d get another Hewlett Packard because that’s what I have now and even my previous HP is still functional. I just needed one that is Windows 11 compatible and that’s somewhat of an upgrade from the one I have. I checked out the HP website and there were a couple of HP Z2 Tower G9 Workstations on sale. One that had 16 GB RAM was $1429, which is slightly more memory than I have but it only had 512 gigs of storage, which is less than I have now. For $2,599 there was the same one with 32 gigs of RAM but also a terabyte of storage. I had planned on going downtown and shopping for one in person but I realized that just seeing a computer on a table and reading the specs on a sign is really no different from shopping online. I decided to get that one but HP wouldn’t take debit. I found a much cheaper refurbished one on Fleet Network but they also wouldn’t take debit. They would take an email transfer but I was suspicious and checked reviews of FN and found a lot of customers had bad experiences. Finally I found the same computer at Best Buy although it cost a little more. They accepted debit and I paid over $3000 although the money has yet to leave my account. 

            I went to bed. 

            I translated another verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the third verse of “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. There are only two more verses to squeeze into my head. 

            I weighed 88.8 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since November 22. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the third of four sessions and it stayed in tune most of the time. 

            Around midday I put away the rest of my laundry from last Wednesday. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. I wore my long underwear, an extra shirt, two scarves, and two pairs of socks. I’m going to start bringing along my balaclava as well. 

            I weighed 88.8 kilos at 18:15. That’s the least I’ve pushed the scale in the evening since November 23.

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:09. 

            I finished reviewing the cassette recording of my early Christian and the Lions rehearsal with Tom Smarda, Steve Lowe and Mike Martin. It was chaotic and I just couldn’t teach them the song I wanted them to learn. Steve said my melodies are weird. Mike’s drumming was horrible. I digitized the tape recording. 

            In my “2024-09-23 Song Practice” Movie Maker project I synchronized the audio with the video. I began deleting all the songs leading up to “Laisses-en un peu pour les autres”. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a chicken leg while watching season 1, episode 17 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Muldoon, Toody, Schnauzer and one other officer are in a barbershop quartet directed by Captain Block and competing for a trophy against more than a hundred other quartets. Muldoon is the star of the group and Block is so hungry for that trophy that he insists on the others pampering him, keeping his throat warm and not letting him speak. In the first round Block’s quartet are number 64 and the director of the competition says that each group must sing “By the Light of the Silvery Moon” and so the three judges have to hear the same “boom boom boom” vocal bass being sung over and over. One of the judges is comedian and popular game show host Jan Murray. He’s fine for around the first fifty quartets but after that he begins to twitch and by the time Block’s group take the stage he loses it, screams and runs out of the room. As the final competition approaches, the quartet makes use of a rehearsal space owned by Schnauzer’s cousin. But by coincidence Jan Murray is rehearsing in the room next door with some other actors for a play. He has just gotten out of a sanitarium and feels well rested until he hears the same voices doing “Boom boom boom” again and loses it. Hours before the final competition the two sets of partners that make up the quartet converge on the street because of a false alarm. They decide to do a quick rehearsal right there on the sidewalk but they are under the window of a psychiatrist’s office where Murray is on the couch. He ends up hospitalized. Later Muldoon and Toody are investigating a robbery at Katz’s Butcher by the notorious Butcher Bandit. Muldoon goes into the freezer to look for evidence while Katz tells Toody he can give a good description of the Butcher Bandit. Until now nobody knows what he looks like. Toody is so excited that he closes the freezer door and rushes Katz to the station to have a sketch artist draw the bandit. All this time Toody thinks Muldoon is still with him until Block asks where Muldoon is and he realizes he’s in the freezer. They rush back and find Muldoon frozen solid. He is taken to the hospital and thawed out. He recovers and his voice is fine so he wants to get to the contest but the doctor insists he be observed for 24 hours. Muldoon calls Toody and plans an escape, saying he will be in a certain room. But then Muldoon pleads with the doctor and he lets him go. Toody and Schnauzer come disguised as scrubs and start wheeling a patient they think is Muldoon out of the room but it’s Murray. They realize their mistake and learn Muldoon has gone ahead but Murray keeps saying he wants to go where the Boom Boom is. The quartet wins the competition. 

            Fred Gwynne was a very good singer but he had a baritone voice and in this story he’s a tenor so he must have been lip synching. 

            Jan Murray played himself. He was 16 when he got his first gig as a comedian at the Bronx Opera House. He built a name for himself in the Catskills Borscht Belt while at the same time entertaining the troops during WWII. After the war he worked vaudeville and night clubs until he became a Vegas headliner. In the 1950s he became the first comedian to work as a TV game show host. He hosted Dollar a Second from 1953 to 1957. He hosted Treasure Hunt from 1956 to 1959. He was a regular panelist on Hollywood Squares from 1966 to 1980 and appeared in almost 250 episodes. He guest hosted the Tonight Show, the Joey Bishop Show, and the Mike Douglas Show. He frequently performed on Ed Sullivan. He co-starred in Which Way to the Front?, Who Killed Teddy Bear, and Tarzan and the Great River,

December 2, 1995: My daughter and I played inside and outside

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I spent the day with my daughter and we probably spent some time playing outside and inside.

Philip Bruns

            On Sunday morning I translated another couple of verses of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the second verse of “Tout l’monde est musician” (All of Us Are Musicians) by Serge Gainsbourg. There are only three more verses to nail down. 

            I weighed 89.7 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning in well over a year.

            I had my cereal in a smaller bowl because I’m getting too heavy.

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the second of four sessions and it stayed in tune most of the time.

            Around midday I soaked my older warm mist humidifier in high acid vinegar and then rode over to Freedom Mobile only to find it’s closed on Sundays. I finished cleaning the humidifier and then cleaned my bathroom sink. My new wall paintjob looks so much better with a clean sink. 

            I weighed 90.2 kilos before lunch. That’s the furthest I’ve pushed it in the early afternoon in a long time. I had saltines with peanut butter, five-year-old cheddar and a glass of ice tea. I had one less slice of cheese than usual because I’ve been getting heavy. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride and stopped at Freedom Mobile at Dovercourt and Bloor to pay for my December phone plan. I rode downtown and back. 

            I weighed 89.75 kilos at 18:15. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:26. 

            I finished reviewing one side of the cassette recording of the Christian and the Lions rehearsal with Tom, Steve, and Mike. A lot of talking and playing but a lot of the playing wasn’t on my song. It’s very hard to teach musicians a melody with just one’s voice. I got a lot better results later when I was playing guitar and working with Brian. 

            I worked on my “2024-09-23 Song Practice” Movie Maker project. The audio was still slightly behind the video when I stopped for supper. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara sauce, tomato pesto, Genoa salami, and five-year-old cheddar (one fewer slice than usual). I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching season 1, episode 16 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Muldoon has a photographic memory for dates, forms, codes, and jurisdictions. Meanwhile Toody can’t even remember his own badge number. The captain suggests that Muldoon take the test for sergeant but he says he’s happy where he is. Toody goes home and is horrified to learn his TV is in the shop and he’ll be without one for a whole day. Lucille suggests he read a book that she just bought called “The Sacrifice”. He’s reluctant to read a book but Lucille wants to be able to tell people that her husband actually read a book once. She asks him to just try one sentence and so he does and from then on can’t put the book down until it’s done. It’s about a showbiz duo named Rex and Elmer that’s been together for nine years and Toody immediately associates them with himself and Muldoon. Rex is approached by an agent who could make him a star but Rex doesn’t want to leave Elmer. So Elmer makes a sacrifice and deliberately accuses Rex of being too frightened to succeed thus making Rex angry enough to leave the duo to be a star. Toody thinks he should do the same thing with Muldoon but it has the opposite effect. Muldoon admits he is afraid that he’s not really a good enough cop to become a sergeant. His father was a captain and his grandfather was a police commissioner and Muldoon now feels he will never be as good as them and so he should give up on being a police officer. That night Muldoon’s sister Cathy brings her Psychology professor home to dinner. Muldoon gets Professor Benedict to analyze him. When he finds out Muldoon never even had a cowboy costume to play in as a child he declares that he is only play acting as a policeman. He does a word association test and all of Muldoon’s answers are insect related and so Benedict concludes that Muldoon should be an exterminator. Muldoon submits his resignation but Captain Block is reluctant to accept it. Toody takes Block aside and explains that Muldoon is in a fragile state and needs to be built up and so they lie about a number of heroic deeds and convince Muldoon that he performed them. Later Muldoon is himself again and he starts to tell Toody he’s worthless as a cop until Toody decides to take the sergeant’s test. Then we see that Muldoon is also reading “The Sacrifice”. 

            Professor Benedict was played by Philip Bruns, who earned a Masters degree from the Yale School of Drama and then studied at the Old Vic Theatre School in London. In 1964 he won the Obie award for his off Broadway performance in Mr. Simian. He was in the cast of The Jackie Gleason Show for three seasons. He played Mary Hartman’s father on Mary Hartman Mary Hartman. He was the first actor to play Jerry Seinfeld’s father but only did so in one episode because they wanted a more irritable parent for Jerry. He co-starred in Return of the Living Dead II. He was a lifelong friend of Peter O’Toole.

December 1, 1995: I got paid but I was still behind

Thirty years ago today

            Friday was payday and so I would have gone downtown to pick up my Ontario College of Art and Board of Education paycheques. I was still behind on my rent.