Vanessa Kirby

            On Thursday, which was Christmas morning I listened to Bach’s Cantatas during yoga. 

            I made a spray mixture for cleaning my yoga mat with tea tree oil, vinegar, and water. 

            I had three biscuits with blackberry jam, cranberry goats milk, and five-year-old cheddar while watching the first episode of the latest season of South Park. 

            Cartman tries to listen to his favourite radio station NPR because it’s liberal and it gives him something to argue against but he finds the station is dead. His mother tells him that Trump had it shut down. At school PC Principal, who is normally a textbook liberal, calls an assembly and announces that Soth Park Elementary is now a Christian school and his initials now stand for “Power of Christ”. He then introduces Jesus as a new member of the faculty. When Stan Marsh goes home he tells his father about Jesus being there and Randy says Jesus isn’t allowed in schools. The next day Cartman tells Butters that he thinks Woke is dead. Now everybody can behave like Cartman and so Cartman doesn’t have a unique identity anymore. Randy is at the local bar and other citizens are also pissed off about what the president is doing. They decide to confront him and so they go to Mr. Garrison’s house only to discover that he’s not the president anymore. For a few years he was a Trump-like US president and no one mentioned Donald Trump in the South Park universe but now the president actually is Trump. Meanwhile in the White House Trump goes to bed and Satan is there as his lover. When Satan tells Trump his penis is small Trump slaps him. The next day on the way to school Cartman tells Butters he’s going to kill himself and Butters if Woke doesn’t come back by Tuesday. Stan is called to the principal’s office and is told that if he doesn’t accept Christ in the school and in his heart he will be expelled and so he does. Randy calls Trump to protest his actions and Trump’s response is to sue South Park for $5 billion. Trump gets back into bed with Satan who is upset because he keeps reading online that Trump is on the Epstein list. Tuesday arrives and Butters’ mother tells him Cartman is waiting for him in the garage in their car with a hose. Butters runs out to try to stop Cartman but he gets into the car with him. Cartman sucks on the hose and gets Butters to do it too. Meanwhile on 60 Minutes the hosts are doing the show but they are terrified of reporting anything negative about Trump. A reporter is in South Park covering the public protest against Trump. They say they were against wokeism but the answer isn’t going too far in the opposite direction. It’s okay to care a little bit about the environment. Butters’ parents say they are proud to own an electric car and so now we see that Cartman and Butters are trying to commit suicide with fumes from an electric car when it has none. Jesus arrives at the protest and gives a sermon but out of the side of his mouth tells the crowd he is being forced to do this because Trump was suing him. He tells them they have to play it cool or South Park is going to be canceled. Gerald Broflovski negotiates with Trump and he lowers his lawsuit to $3.5 million plus South Park has to do pro-Trump messaging. We see a realistic AI movie of Trump wandering naked in the desert. The message is he survived. Then Trump’s little penis talks and says, “I am Donald J. Trump and I approved this message”. 

            I took a hammer and chisel and I knocked off some more plaster to free up the brick wall on the left side of the passage between the living room and the kitchen. I cleared an area a little more than a meter long and half a meter wide. There’s about 80x50 cm left and I’ll probably finish it on my birthday. It only took me about half an hour but the clean up took longer. 

             I checked my email and the landlady sent me a copy of a noise complaint from my upstairs neighbour Jacob. It’s weird that he didn’t complain about the hammering but about music even though I didn’t play my stereo all day. He said I’m constantly playing music and it’s too loud for him to concentrate on working from home. I have turned down my music every time he’s asked. My top volume has dropped from minus 2 to minus 4 since he moved in. I gave him my number specifically so he could tell me if it’s too loud and if he had done so it would have taken about 5 minutes to establish a volume he’s comfortable with. But he refuses to talk to me ever since his outburst a month ago when he got the absurd, false, and horrifying notion that I am singing songs about paedophilia and started shouting about it in the hallway. Now I know how Daryl Hall felt when he learned that Son of Sam believed his song “Rich Girl” is about killing young women. I wonder if Jacob is projecting his own fantasies of child molestation onto one of my songs. Only two of my songs that he’s heard even mention children and they are both anti-war songs: “I missed my brother’s goodbye but I heard his children cry” and “There’s always a customer for these delicate instruments / I am a war gun salesman I have presents for your infants”. 

            I had the last three pieces of Mary Brown chicken with a beer while watching season 27, episode 2 of South Park. 

            Clyde is pissing everybody off with his new anti-liberal, racist, and sexist podcast. He says things like all women are whores and they are only good at murdering babies. Cartman is upset because Clyde is stealing his schtick. Clyde is called to Mr. Mackie’s office for counseling. Clyde explains he doesn’t really believe the stuff he’s saying but he can make money doing it and being a kid is expensive these days. Then Mackie is fired due to Trump’s budget cuts and besides the school already has Jesus as a counselor. Mackie goes to an employment office where he is told he can get a high paying job with ICE because they will accept anybody. Clyde holds his podcast in public and challenges people to debate him. But he just suddenly changes the subject and claims he’s won. Suddenly Cartman beats the crap out of Clyde and takes over his podcast. Mackie joins ice and watches an orientation video hosted by Trump’s head of Homeland Security Kristi Noem. In the video she kills three dogs and her face almost falls off so her team has to Botox her. After orientation Mackie is given an automatic weapon and sent on his first raid. They arrest Dora the Explorer and all the Latinos in her audience and Kristi Noem shoots a seeing eye dog. Then her face sags again and she is given more Botox. An anti ICE protestor being interviewed says that there are many Latinos in Heaven. So the next ICE raid is to Heaven where they round up all the Latinos there and Kristi shoots another dog. This time her face falls right off and someone has to catch it to put it back on her. Mackie is being awarded for his work with a trip to Trump’s Florida home of Mara Lago. Mara Lago is presented as a parody of Fantasy Island with Trump as Mr. Roarke and Vice President J.D. Vance as Tattoo. Trump escorts Mackie into his bedroom where he sees Satan and runs away. He enters a room where he finds Clyde who is being rewarded but doesn’t want to be there. They look for someone to help them escape. Suddenly Krypto the super dog comes flying in but Kristi shoots and kills him. Then her face falls off and runs amok freaking everybody out. Mackie and Clyde use the distraction to escape in the plane and they take Dora with them. In the end Kristi goes into as pet shop and shoots all the puppies. 

            I took a siesta but didn’t sleep very well because I was upset about Jacob’s noise complaints. 

            I took a bike ride downtown and back. As usual on Christmas day Yonge Street was crowded but mostly by non-white people. 

            I weighed 89.2 kilos at 18:20. 

            For supper I made pizza on two halves of a bagel with marinara sauce, tomato pesto, Calabrese sausage paste, oven wedge fries and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with three beers while watching Fantastic Four: First Steps. 

            This story takes place on Earth 828 where The Fantastic Four are the only super heroes but there are plenty of super villains. The FF are pretty much worshipped in this reality as they have saved the world countless times. Their origin story of how as astronauts they were exposed to cosmic rays and gained super powers is touched on. We learn that Susan Storm in addition to her powers is a master negotiator and not only brokered a peace deal with the Mole Man and his people the Subterraneans but also brought about world peace. We learn in the very first scene that Sue is pregnant. Reed Richards has started developing teleportation. 

            The Silver Surfer arrives and recognizes the FF as the guardians of Earth. She announces that Earth is marked for death as she is the herald of Galactus. She leaves and Johnny chases her into space where his flame is extinguished but he manages to grab the edge of her surfboard. She speaks to him in her language before swiftly turning her board and flying away. Though Reed can’t track where she’s going he can track where she’s been and it’s a sector of space where five planets were destroyed. Reed decides they have to go there so the four of them once again travel to space. We learn that Reed never passed his driver’s test. 

            Their ship Excelsior launches into orbit where it rendezvous with Reed’s faster than light engine (FTL). They travel to the sector where the last star was destroyed and are captured by Galactus’ gigantic ship. A light probes them all but focuses on Sue and her belly. The Surfer tells them Galactus wants to see all of them. On the way she tells them she is the one that chooses which planets for him to eat. Galactus tells them that billions of years ago he was human. He says he will spare the Earth in exchange for the child inside Susan. He possesses the Power Cosmic and can replace Galactus as the devourer of worlds. Reed argues that he tested the fetus and it’s normal but Galactus says he hides his nature. He forces Sue into labour. 

            They run for their ship while the Surfer tries to shop them but Sue uses her force field to push her back. They shoot a hole in Galactus’ ship and fly through it. They make it to the FTL just as the Surfer enters their ship and tries to reach into Sue’s womb but when the ship jumps she is back outside. But she is able to follow through the wormhole. Sue tells Johnny to kill her. He shoots but the energy beams are bent by the wormhole. Reed calculates the trajectory and Johnny has a direct hit and knocks her off her surfboard but she is back in pursuit shortly. Reed tells Ben to approach a nearby neutron star and drop out of FTL. They need to get her to follow them close enough to get stuck in the gravity well where there will be a time dilation and it will take her a month to break free. Reed tells Sue to make the ship invisible for thirty seconds after her next contraction. The FTL is destroyed but Surfer is delayed. To get back to Earth they need to slingshot around the star and achieve .88 light speed. Franklin Richards is born on the way home. 

            When the people of Earth learn that billions of lives would be spared if the FF just gave up Franklin they are angry. Sue gives a talk and tells them that she will not sacrifice her child for the Earth but she will also not sacrifice the Earth for her child, whatever that means. The people are satisfied with a very unconvincing argument. 

            Johnny seems to have some innate ability in linguistics even though this ability is never shown in the comic books. Surfer had translated for him on Galactus’ ship what she had said in their first encounter. Johnny compares it to old transmissions from that sector and discovers the same language.

            Reed has a plan to use his teleportation device to transport the Earth to another inhabitable solar system. teleportation bridges would be built all over the planet. All the countries on Earth begin to work together. The world’s population has to conserve electricity on a massive scale. They begin the countdown but with ten seconds before teleportation the Surfer arrives and begins destroying the bridges. She then heads for the Baxter Building to get Franklin. They lock the building down but Johnny is missing. He flies out to confront the Surfer. He begins transmitting on the large communication screens in the city, messages in the Surfer’s language and she stops. Johnny speaks to her in her language and he knows her name is Shalla-bal. In the comic books Shalla-bal was the lover of Norrin-Radd who became the Silver Surfer to save her and his planet from Galactus by becoming his herald. This Surfer is also from Zenn-la and she was also an astronomer who did the same as Norrin-Radd in her universe. Then Johnny plays for her the cries of the people on the planets that she selected for Galactus to consume. She is overwhelmed with guilt and grief but she tells Johnny there is no hope for the Earth unless they give up the child. 

             But there is one teleportation bridge left and it’s the one in Times Square. Reed plans to lure Galactus there to teleport him far away from Earth but the only way to do that is to use Franklin as bait. They place Franklin in a bomb proof and radiation proof basinet in the middle of the bridge. Because they know that for Galactus to reach Franklin he will inadvertently have to destroy thousands of dwellings, a deal is made to evacuate New York into the Mole Man’s realm of Subterranea. Galactus arrives on Earth and detects Franklin. Then Johnny begins to attack galactus shooting flame into his eyes, blinding him long enough to switch Franklin’s basinet with an empty one and they take Franklin back to the Baxter Building. But before Galactus can cross the threshold of the teleportation bridge he stops and scans the city where he sees Frankin in the Baxter Building and heads there instead. The FF try to stop him but their powers are inadequate. He smashes his hand in and grabs Franklin. As he is heading back to his ship Sue confronts him and begins to use the full power of her force field like she never has before. Galactus begins to stagger backward towards the teleportation bridge. Johnny mans the switch. Reed yells him to pull it and the countdown begins at 40 seconds. The portal forms behind Galactus and while he struggles, Reed is able to rescue Franklin. Sue gives one final push and Galactus falls into the portal as Sue collapses. But the portal has yet to close and Galactus begins to try to come back out. With ten seconds left Johnny begins to fly at full force to push Galactus back in by going with him. But suddenly the Surfer pushes Johnny aside and does it herself. 

            But Sue is motionless on the concrete. Reed tries cardio pulmonary resuscitation but to no avail and Sue is dead. Franklin begins to cry and reaches for his mother and so Reed places him on top of her to say goodbye. But Franklin puts his hands on her and begins to smile. Then Sue comes to life again and there is temporarily a strangle blue energy glowing in her eyes. 

            Four years later Sue is reading to Franklin. He loves The Origin of Species but she’s gets him A Fly Went By by Michael McClintock. However when she returns we see Doctor Doom is with Franklin. He has taken off his mask and Franklin is touching his face. 

            Sue Storm the Invisible Woman was played by Vanessa Kirby, who was raised in Wimbledon, England. She was turned down by the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art but now she has been called the outstanding stage actress of her generation. She also does movies because as an actor one wants a wide range of experiences. She made her film debut in Love/Loss in 2010. She played Princess Margaret in the TV series The Crown for which she was nominated for an Emmy and won a BAFTA Award in 2018. She starred in Pieces of a Woman for which she was nominated for an Academy Award. She starred in Kill Command, Italian Studies, and Night Always Comes (which she also produced). She co-starred in Mr. Jones, World to Come, Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw, The Son, Bone in the Throat, and Eden. She played Josephine in Napoleon. She made her TV debut in The Hour and Great Expectations. She co-starred in the series The Frankenstein Chronicles. She co-founded Aluna Entertainment with her sister.