Duelling Charities

            On Saturday morning I found a recording of Boris Vian’s “J’suis snob” by Serge Gainsbourg. Although I know that Vian discovered Serge Gainsbourg this is the first time I’d heard Gainsbourg sing a Vian song.

            I finished memorizing “Banana Boat” by Serge Gainsbourg and then looked for the chords online but no one has posted them and so I’ll have to figure them out for myself. The song is from the point of view of someone fantasizing about hitching a ride on a merchant marine ship and working her way up the ranks as she has her way with every member of the crew.

            Although I figured it would probably warm up in the afternoon, I decided it was too cool to wear shorts and sandals to the food bank line-up, so I put on my jeans and Blundies.

            The line-up seemed longer than I’d expected until I counted the carts and saw that I was number 18. Veronica was wearing a surgical mask because she was trying filter out the cigarette smoke. I was two places behind her but I hung around in case she wanted to chat.

            I took out my book and continued from where I’d left off reading “Death of Judas” by Paul Claudel. Veronica asked how it was and I told her that it’s narrated by Judas just before he’s about to hang himself as he tells the story of his experience with “You Know Who” and the Eleven. I told her that Judas says it was hilarious when people had their demons cast out because it rendered them lost and unprotected without knowing what to do with themselves. As I read further Judas jokes about having a pain in the neck, which suggests that this story is not told before Judas hangs himself but by the ghost of Judas after his suicide.

            Paul Claudel was a devout Catholic in his later years and politically conservative, but anti-fascist. He was the younger brother of the sculptor Camille Claudel and he is the one that had her committed to a psychiatric hospital eight days after the death of their father. In the thirty years that she was committed Paul only visited Camille seven times. The hospital kept on saying she didn’t need to be there but her family refused to take her out.

            Veronica asked if I’d filled out the food bank survey that Steve had approached her with last week. I said I didn’t and she wondered why they hadn’t asked me, since I’d been coming there lot longer than her. I suggested that maybe they were afraid of what I’d say. Veronica recounted a confrontation that Valdene had previously with one of the cooks at PARC. Apparently the PARC kitchen had come up short in ingredients for a meal and had come to the food bank to try to replenish them. I think PARC has its own food budget and it’s own food donations to keep it going so I’m not aware of any obligation that the food bank has to supply PARC’s kitchen. According to Veronica, Valdene later stormed into PARC to yell at the cook and had to be escorted out. Because of this Veronica thought the survey was a review of Valdene’s performance as manager of the food bank. I told her that the proximity of the argument and the survey might have been a coincidence. There have been issues between PARC and the food bank ever since the food bank moved into that building. The survey was probably not specifically about the management but rather the food bank in general, including the management.

            Downstairs at the desk I asked Valdene if they’d found a wallet. She looked in several drawers and cupboards for it, each time finding and getting mad about food items that volunteers seemed to have hidden away for later, but no wallet. This was my last place to check and so now I definitely had to renew all of my identification, starting with my birth certificate.

            At the top of the first set of shelves I got a bag of Baked in Brooklyn hot Moroccan spice pita chips.

I took a packet of Tasty Bite channa masala. Tasty Bite appears to be an Indian company. Their website says they have 23 acre farm and a factory in Bhandgaon, India where they grow some of their ingredients but it also serves as a training location to teach the surrounding farmers organic and sustainable farming. 80% of the energy they use to manufacture their products comes from renewable, mostly sugarcane waste. They also harvest rainwater to recharge the groundwater. Because the pouches contain ready-made meals that require no refrigeration for 18 months they ship them to victims of natural disasters all over the world. In 2017 a majority stake in Tasty Bite was acquired by Mars Foods, which is the maker of Uncle Bens and a lot of other products.

I grabbed a can of clingstone peach halves in juice from concentrate and the usual can of chickpeas, although there were a wider variety of canned beans than usual.

There were a few generic canned vegetable soups that didn’t look that interesting and some canned mushrooms, which never taste much like mushrooms.

I didn’t take any milk or yogourt from Angie, but she gave me a 2.63 litre jug of not-from-concentrate orange juice; a pineapple, kiwi, strawberry and blackberry salad; three eggs and a small pack of frozen beef back ribs.

Nothing interested me in the bread section this time around.

Sylvia gave me two red peppers, a red onion and two limes. While I was heading for the “take what you want” section near the door she asked me how I was. I told her I’d just had my check-up and found out that I’d lost five kilos since last year. She said she could see that and said, “I wish that I could lose five kilos!” I probably should have told her that she doesn’t look overweight, because she doesn’t, but I never think of those things. The boxes by the door only had carrots and bunches of overripe bananas so I didn’t take anything.

Veronica had commented earlier that the veggies have been disappointing lately and it’s true that there haven’t been any greens for a while. It was however nice to get some meat this time.

I rode home to put my food away and then headed back out to the supermarket. On my way I stopped at Freedom Mobile to pay for my monthly phone plan. It took longer than usual because there was only one clerk for about five minutes.

At No Frills I picked up a basket of peaches. The black sable grapes were very expensive but I got two bags anyway. The red grapes were half that price but too soft. The watermelon was on sale and so I thought I’d give the test I’d learned another try. The last melon I'd bought had a resonant sound like a good melon is supposed to have and yet it had turned out to be under-ripe. This time I made sure to test the weight as well, since good watermelons are supposed to feel heavier than their size. There did seem to be a difference in weight between watermelons of the same size. I found a heavy one that rang like a drum when I tapped the yellow spot. I grabbed a half priced loaf of raisin-cinnamon bread, some Murphy’s Oil Soap, mouthwash and Greek yogourt. I wanted some Irish Spring soap and noticed that they were selling packs of three for $2 and packs of six for $4.27, so I took two packs of three.

At the checkout an elderly man who I assume was of Italian descent looked at my watermelon and declared, "That's a good one!" He asked, "You know how to check for a good watermelon?" I said that I thought so. He told me that his mother taught him how to pick a watermelon back in the old country. He held his open hands above my melon and asked, “May I?” He picked it up, held it to his ear and tapped it and then, putting it down, declared again, “That's a good one!" He said, “I love watermelon, but …" he put his hands on his protruding belly and caressed it. I asked, "Watermelons aren't fattening are they?" He said, "Well, they have lots of water and sugar!” As I was packing up my stuff he was trying to charm the cashier, "Could I have one bag please my darling?"

I found out later that we were both right and I had picked a delicious melon.

Before leaving I said, “Take care” and he told me to have a great weekend.

I had cheddar and tomato on a toasted cheese bagel for lunch.

In the afternoon I did some exercises and then rode my bike to Bloor and Spadina, south to Queen and then home.

I worked on my journal.

For dinner I started making a pizza with the stone baked flatbread that I'd gotten the week before at the food bank. I put some tomato sauce on it that I’d had in the fridge for a while, but when I tasted it on my finger it had gone sour. I scraped the sauce off and used instead some of the unopened puttanesca sauce. I cut up a red pepper and sliced up a whole pack of one-year-old cheddar to cover it. It turned out pretty good.

I had two slices while watching Wagon Train.

This story begins with Jess and Bob Cowan returning to the mountains after the war and finding that their family has been killed and their home has been burned down in the ongoing feud between the Cowans and the Beals. They learn that the Beals have joined a wagon train heading west and so they go after it, bent on revenge. On the way they are attacked by a hostile party of Sioux and Bob is severely wounded. They make it to the wagon train and Charlie cares for Bob's wounds. Jesse goes looking for the Beals and finds Sally Jo Beal, who as loved Jesse ever since she was a girl and he has felt the same although neither have declared it until now. Then Sally Jo’s brother Rufe Beal walks up. He says he’s glad they followed him so he could finish the job. Roof challenges Jess and calls him yellow. Jesse hits him. Roof pulls his gun but Jesse grabs his arm and he fires wild. The shot alarms the Major and he comes to break up the fight, taking their guns away. He asks the two families to swear to a truce until they get to California. Ance Beal, the elderly leader of the Beal family agrees and though Bob is reluctant, so do the Cowan brothers. But Roof does not agree to the truce and tries to kill Jesse when they are hunting buffalo. Jesse however keeps his pledge and does not fight back. When Roof's Uncle Ance confronts his nephew about breaking the truce, Roof pushes him and Ance has a heart attack and dies. Now that Roof is head of the family he says they are all going back to the hills but Sally Jo and Jesse say they are going to get married. Roof confronts Jesse again and Jesse asks the Major to release him from his pledge. The Major is about to let the two men settle things in a duel when he learns that the Sioux are preparing to attack. Roof and Jesse agree to put the fight on hold but when Roof comes across the Bob Cowan, who is still lying against a wagon in recovery from his wounds, Bob pulls a gun and fires at Roof. Roof shoots back and kills Bob. The Sioux attack but in the midst of the raid when Jesse learns that Roof has killed his brother. They fight but while Jesse is choking roof he catches himself and stops. He gives him back his gun. Suddenly a Sioux warrior appears. Jesse warns Roof too late before the warrior shoots him. The Sioux retreat and while Roof is dying he acknowledges that Jesse tried to save his life. The feud dies with Roof. It’s kind of a hillbilly Romeo and Juliet but with the twist of almost everybody else dying except for the lovers.

Sally Jo was played by Penny Edwards, who started out as a dancer at the age of six. As a teenager she was in the Ziegfeld Follies and the St Louis Opera. She replaced a pregnant Dale Evans on a few Roy Rogers shows and was picked specifically by Evans because she was a devout Christian. She was successful in commercials as well, becoming “The Lux Girl", "The Palmolive Girl" and "The Tiparillo Girl". She dated Ronald Reagan in between his two marriages.