Saturday, 5 November 2016

"The Bible says, 'Turn the other fuckin cheek!'"



            At the food bank, on the Thursday morning of October 6th, the first thing I did was ask a group of people sitting furthest away from the door, who was the last person in line. They pointed to a middle-aged woman of East Indian descent and she also pointed to herself. I made sure I remembered her face and relaxed into reading “70 Canadian Poets” for my Canadian Poetry course.
            The big wrestler was there, telling some people about a problem at the place where he lives where tenants are being harassed. He explained that he won’t fight because he’s Christian and then quoted that the Bible says, “Fuckin turn the other cheek!”
            A woman smoking by the door told him about all of the working out and yoga that she does on a regular basis and how because of that she will be in great shape by next summer.
            A rotund regular with prematurely grey hair and who is always particularly talkative was telling someone about the changes that will be taking place in Parkdale over the next five years. He said that the Beer Store on Brock Avenue will be moving to the current location of the Dollarama and that the Dollarama would be moving to the basement beneath the No Frills on King Street. He said something else about a big Metro store opening up. I have no idea where he got his information, but it doesn’t sound far-fetched. The Dollarama building across the street from me, that used to be the BiWay when I moved here in 1997, would be a very good location for the Beer Store. Where it currently is on Brock Avenue is pretty much a commercially dead street. The Japanese paper Place, which was near the current location of the Beer Store has already moved, so really, besides the Beer Store, the only business on Brock Avenue south of College Street is the popular Electric Mud barbecue place just north of Queen Street. If the Beer Store moves to the Dollarama, my place will be almost exactly halfway between it and the LCBO. I will also probably be hearing buskers playing all day long, for better or worse.
            A guy came down Cowan, pushing one of those plastic two-wheeled garbage bins. He pushed it into the driveway and circled around but then went back to the sidewalk and on down to King Street. I assume the bin was stolen and he was using it to collect bottles. Perhaps shopping carts are getting harder to come by these days or maybe the bins are less noisy. I would guess though that the wheels on a bin might not last as long as those on a shopping cart but I may be wrong.
            After an hour, the line formed and I stepped into it. There were three women in my proximity who were in their early middle age. The taller, very thin woman among them was wearing a crocheted sweater and the blonde woman with the small dog complimented her, while a brown haired woman told her that she could do that and proceeded to tell them how she’d made herself a crocheted bikini. The blonde woman said, “I love crocheted bikinis!” The brunette explained that she’d made it smaller because the material stretches. She declared, “I made five blankets in seven days, bud!” and added that being occupied in that way keeps her from committing murder. The blonde asked me what I was reading, so I showed her the title. “Nice!” she said, “I love poetry!” The brunette said, “I write poetry.” As we got closer to the door, the blonde asked the door keeper if he would hold her dog while she went inside. He nodded and told her that he would hold her too. Joe the manager was talking to the blonde and the brunette about women that give free blowjobs but take a tip afterwards. At the same time he was smoking a cigarette while I was trapped in line nearby.
            I got number 15 and went home, where I’m still getting used to not having cats anymore. I didn’t notice how much of my day to day habits were affected by having cats over nineteen years until they were gone. Even something simple like taking off my backpack or my boots makes me hesitate, because I’m used to putting them down in places where a cat’s claws wouldn’t have access to them. Now I can put my scratchable things wherever the hell I want to, but am often pulled back by habit.
            When I got back to the food bank at 13:30 they had a long table set up so people could sit down and eat the hot meal that had been prepared. All the food bank customers that were sitting though, were smoking. Something has really got to be done about smoking near the door and smoking near the food. But even among the non-smokers I seem to be the only one that minds. But of course there may be lots of people that mind but just don’t want to make waves.
            The table they set up is still within nine meters of the door. If they can get it further away, as long as there is no roof or canopy over the table, it looks like in Toronto they can get away with people smoking there, though I think it’s wrong.
            The blonde woman was sitting low on a crate and she called to me, “Hey hon, can you pull me up?” I went over and took her hand and steadied my arm, letting her use her own strength against me to pull herself up. She explained that she had arthritis.
            Once we were inside, I had the same hassle with doorman that I’d had the week before. He didn’t want to let anyone in unless I moved over but he couldn’t come up with a reason why I should. The blonde woman was arguing on my behalf as well, even though she had moved down. I would say he was being an asshole, but I get the impression that he simply did not understand because he is developmentally challenged. Then again, he’s not the only one working the door that expects people to move down. He’s just the only one who makes a big fuss about it.
            Hazel was standing by the refrigerator. The blonde woman, on noticing that the fridge door was open a crack, called, “Hazel! Your fridge door is open!” Hazel looked down and put her hand to the zipper of her jeans to check.
            The nervous helper called my number. Before we even got to the first set of shelves, she handed me a package of kimchi flavoured udon noodle soup and asked if I wanted it. It was as if this were a product that she was getting paid to push, but I took it.
            At the top of the first set of shelves were the usual taco kits, but also cans of cranberry sauce. I was going to take one of the cans, but then I saw they had 890 millilitre jars of Hellman’s mayonnaise, which seemed like a much more practical choice. Below that, a package of Ritz mini-cheese whizlike sandwiches. Below that were a few chocolate granola bars.
            There was rice and pasta as usual, but as usual I didn’t take any because it’s unusual for me to cook it.
            The canned beans were a choice between string beans or beans and pork in tomato sauce. Since I hadn’t taken any pasta she gave me two cans of beans with pork.
            There was a choice between canned tuna or a can-sized package of tuna salad. I took the straight tuna.
There were a variety of mainstream cereals, but she pointed out to me some packages of Cheerios Plus with flax, cinnamon and coconut. The Cheerios brand sure is getting fancy lately.
From the cold food, Hazel offered a choice of either a half litre of 2% milk or a litre of chocolate Natrel milk. I’m not a big chocolate milk fan, but I had some 1% milk at home, plus those half-litre cartons tend to be already opened when I get them home. The Natrel carton wasn’t.
I got four small containers of Liberté Greek vanilla yogourt, a package of sliced smoked paprika salami and a bag of frozen egg patties. Hazel told me, “Happy Thanksgiving!” I was a little disappointed there were no turkeys, but I recall that they only had turkeys last year at Christmas time but not Thanksgiving.
From the bread section I got a bag of multigrain buns and another of pretzels. There wasn’t a wide choice this time around.
The vegetable lady gave me a few potatoes, a couple of carrots, a red pepper that wasn’t in great shape, a turnip and a bag of frozen peas. All she had that was fresh were some green onions that she said she’d cut herself.
When I was unlocking my bike from the pole on Cowan, the blonde woman was pushing her cart west on King. She called out, “Bye sweetie!” I waved.
            I didn’t take a bike ride that day, because with mid-term quizzes and essays coming up, I don’t think I can afford to sacrifice two hours.

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