Judy Bamber

            On Saturday at around midday I went out to No Frills. He temperature was a lot warmer than it has been since the last storm and so the snow is starting to melt, though there is still lots of it. I still have to wear my Kodiaks because of the high snow banks that I have to step into to carry my bike across or to lock my bike in half buried post rings.

            I bought a lot of black sable grapes, a half pint of blackberries, a bag of Miss Vickie’s chips and some mouthwash. When I got home I remembered to pay my rent by email transfer. I reminded Raja in a message that he hasn’t given me a receipt for last September or last month. I went back out to buy a couple of cans of Creemore at the liquor store.

            When I took an afternoon siesta I slept for almost an hour longer than usual.

            I practiced my adaptation of Serge Gainsbourg’s song “Personne” three times because I plan on doing it at the next Shab-e She’r. It’s a song that makes me dance while I’m playing it and it’s because of this song that I learned how to whistle. Even though original has no whistling, I just felt like my version needed it. I’m not saying that my whistling is great but it’s starting to feel almost in tune.

            I spent a couple of hours reading the poems of the others in my group and writing comments.

One of Vivian’s poems is a reworked version of one she submitted before. Since I don’t have a copy of her original poem I can’t discern from memory what changes she’s made, so I would just be repeating my old comments.

Margaryta continues to write excellent poems, especially one about a paint called “Indian Yellow” that used to be made from cow’s urine. They apparently fed the cows a diet that caused the urine to be thick and dry but it killed the cow to pass it.

I had an egg with toast and a beer and watched two episodes of Peter Gunn.

The first story begins with a thug named Frank killing a mechanic that seems to be an old associate. Then Frank goes to a woman named Mrs Stewart and threatens her life if she doesn’t give him what he’s looking for. Mrs. Stewart goes to Gunn with a briefcase and hires him to deliver the contents. Frank and some men try to intercept the delivery but the cops show up. Frank gets away. The briefcase is opened but it’s empty. Gunn goes to the specified location to deliver the case but no one shows up. Mrs. Stewart steps from the shadows after Gunn leaves. At the police station Gunn identifies Frank from some photos but he’s supposed to be dead. Gunn goes home but gets knocked out and the briefcase is taken. Mrs Stewart shows up and is surprised to hear the briefcase is empty. Gunn talks to Babby the pool shark and finds Frank is at an oil refinery outside of town. Gunn goes there and is about to exchange fire with one of Frank’s men but the man is shot and a car speeds away. The body of the mechanic is found and it turns out that he had a wife with the maiden name of Stewart. Gunn goes to her apartment and they find her dying but she tells them where to find Frank. The money from the bank job is in a safety deposit box at a bank. They catch him there.

Mrs Stewart was played by Phyllis Avery, who did a lot of television work but in the 80s became a real estate agent.

In the second story an investment counsellor named Crawford has killed two men and made off with a million dollars.  A rich businessman hires Gunn to try to stop his son Eric from pretending to be a private investigator and trying to crack the Crawford case. Eric is a bumbling detective who thinks he’s a pro but shows up at crime scenes inadvertently destroying fingerprints. Gunn goes to see Eric and finds that since money is no object he’s set himself up in an office with a hot secretary named Sugar who is straight out of a detective novel. In trying to get Eric out of the way, Gunn tells him that he should look for Crawford at his lodge in the mountains because it’s such an obvious place to look that the cops would never look there. The problem is that was exactly Crawford’s logic and Eric finds him there. Eric calls Gunn to tell him. Crawford’s men easily overpower Eric. Gunn hurries there and calls Jacoby for backup. Gunn and Jacoby take out Crawford and his men, no thanks to Eric, who’ been unconscious. When Eric wakes up he tries to claim credit for Crawford’s capture and so Gunn and Jacoby bind and gag him.

Sugar was played by Judy Bamber, who was a pin-up model and actor but is now remembered mostly for Roger Corman’s “Bucket of Blood”.