No Sex For You!

            I dreamed that a man and woman were in my apartment uninvited and I was telling them to leave. My apartment was larger and tidier than the place I’ve lived for the last 22 years, with glass doors separating the rooms. The man and woman were in their thirties and standing in light winter coats as I was chastising them for imposing themselves into another person's space as they were doing. I seemed to know them and they had been guests in my place on a previous occasion. She had shortish dark hair and his was frizzy and brown and balding in the usual places. She left and yet the guy lingered just inside my door. I asked, “Why are you still here?” and he responded, “I was thinking we could have sex.” I said, “Sorry but I’m not gonna have sex with you!” as I escorted him down the hall and made sure he got into the art deco elevator and that the door closed after him.

            On Saturday morning I finished memorizing Serge Gainsbourg’s “Cargo Culte”. It’s the last song on his 1971 concept album, “The Ballad of Melody Nelson”. The first song on the album tells of how the speaker meets Melody when his Rolls Royce hits her bicycle. The next few songs deal with the love affair that ensues. Just before “Cargo Culte” is a short song explaining that Melody took a plane that went down in the ocean. “Cargo Culte” talks about the New Guinean shamen of the cargo cult that try to use tribal magic to bring down airplanes so they can pillage their freight.

            At around 9:30 I started feeling sleepy so I decided to wake myself up by heading a couple of hours earlier to the supermarket than usual. It was fairly warm for the season but there were still snow banks and so I wore my Kodiaks. I bought seven bags of black sable grapes, a brick of extra old cheddar, two cheddar smoky sausages, a can of dark roast coffee, some mouthwash and a jug of vinegar.

            After paying for my items I was putting them in my backpack while the customer behind me, a distinguished looking white-haired man with a British accent asked for four bags. He commented to the cashier, “I am a great lover of your bags! They are superior plastic bags!”

            When I was putting my groceries away I looked out the window and saw a young blonde woman walking an Irish setter but as soon as she turned off Queen and wanted to head north on O’Hara the dog stopped and would not budge. It seemed that it was either enjoying the walk on Queen Street and didn’t want it to end or else it knew the destination on O’Hara (perhaps the West Lodge apartment complex) and did not want to go there. The woman tried gentle persuasion with talking and coaxing but it didn’t help. She tried in vain to drag it by the leash a couple of times. Then she crossed the street and the dog came happily along as it pulled towards Queen but as her caregiver or walker turned up O’Hara again the dog once again sat down and refused to move. Finally she said something in its ear and it followed her north with no more resistance.

            In the late afternoon the old lady who begs around the corner of Dunn and Queen was as usual calling out for “Paul”. I actually haven’t seen Paul nor his yellow scooter for a few months. She was saying, “C’mon Paul! Open the door!” Then she crossed Queen and walked east. I’ve never seen her with a phone but maybe she has one and she and Paul aren’t homeless after all, since there’s no door near where she was standing that could have been opened for her.

            I grilled two burgers and had one on a bagel with ketchup, mustard and pickles for dinner while watching Rawhide.

            This story begins with Gil and Rowdy tracking five stray steers. While following their trail they discover evidence that they were driven off by poachers. The clues lead them to a ghost town but no cows. Convinced there is no one there, they are about to leave when they hear a dog barking. They let the dog out of a storm cellar and see that it’s well fed. They then find a man named Matt sitting by himself on the deserted sidewalk. He claims that he’s the caretaker of the silver mine and that he stayed on when it went dry, but he’s the only one in town. As Gil and Rowdy are leaving they hear organ music. Following the music they enter the church where Ed the caretaker is with two women, a Mrs. Miller and her daughter Angie. The mother tells Gil and Rowdy that two days before Matt and his son Waldo captured the stagecoach they’d been on and are holding she and her daughter for ransom from the stage company. Angie insists that she is not a captive because Waldo is going to show her a new life. She wants to get away from her mother because all she’s done since they ran away from her father is to try to teach her to hate men. Gil and Rowdy agree to help the women escape. The advantage goes back and forth. Matt and Waldo hunt Gil and Rowdy through the town until Matt is captured and put in the jail. But then Waldo threatens to kill Angie if Gil and Rowdy don’t give up their guns. Escaping again, Gil and Rowdy find the place where their horses and the missing steers are hidden. Gil tells Rowdy to ride for help but Waldo shoots him off his horse. After Angie runs to help the fallen Rowdy, Waldo beats her up. Gil finds Mrs. Miller’s hidden gun and is pinned down in a hotel room by gunfire from Matt and Waldo. Rowdy recovers and rides the other horse out to distract Waldo long enough for Gil to shoot and kill him. Then Matt is wounded and it’s all over.

            Mrs. Miller was played by Mercedes McCambridge, who won the best supporting actress Oscar for All the King’s Men, was nominated for the same award for “Giant” and was the demon voice in the Exorcist. Orson Welles called her the world’s greatest radio actress.

            Angie was played by Whitney Blake, who later co-created the hit sitcom “One Day at a Time”.