Laurie Mitchell

                                 

            On Saturday morning I worked out the chords for the rest of the intro of "La java des chaussettes à clous" (The Dance of the Studded Stockings) by Boris Vian and the first few chords of the first verse. 

            I memorized the first verse and chorus of "Démodé" (Out of Style) by Serge Gainsbourg and made some slight adjustments to my translation. While I was trying to do the memory work a truck pulled up in front of Popeyes and was making a lot of noise at 6:30 as it delivered supplies to the restaurant. Hand trucks on metal ramps are very loud and I don't think they're legally supposed to be making deliveries at that hour. 

            I weighed 88.9 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around noon I headed out to the supermarket and just as I was walking my bike to the curb I ran into my upstairs neighbour David who was just coming from getting his second covid shot. He suggested we get together for lunch tomorrow on the patio of the Skyline and so I agreed. 

            At No Frills I bought three bags of cherries, two pints of strawberries, a pack of ground beef, some Greek yogourt and three bags of milk. I thought that I'd bought an apple pie because I know I put it in my basket, but somehow it didn't wind up at the cash because it didn't make it home with me and it doesn't appear on my receipt. After bringing my food home I went out to the liquor store and bought a six pack of Creemore. 

            I weighed 89 kilos before lunch. I had a cold slice of pizza with three slices of four year old cheddar on top and a glass of lemonade. 

            In the afternoon I started out on a bike ride but only made it up to the top of Brock Avenue just as it started to rain. I turned around and went home. I got slightly uncomfortably wet but not soaked. It started pouring for a while shortly after I got home. The ride lasted less than twenty five minutes. 

            I reworked some more of the first poem in "My Blood In A Bug." 

            I followed the detailed instructions for cropping a video in VLC media player. It's a very complicated process involving saving a lot of different settings before it finally is completed. The initial problem is that when one is putting in the number of pixels one wants removed from each of the four directions and the frame closes in, that fools a lot of people into thinking it's the crop. But it's only the preview so you know which settings to put in later. It took me about 45 minutes to get it done. Next I'll import my cropped file into the main video I'm making for my song "Instructions For Electroshock Therapy" and cut out everything but the legs and arms being strapped to correspond with the line, "We'll strap their legs and their arms." 

            I colourized three more damage spots in my photo "Anti Gravity's Rainbow." 

            I finished digitally repairing my photo from 1987 of women weighing chickens inside of A. Stork and Sons. I started repairing a photo of my baby making first eye contact with the camera from 1991. 

            I added sauce and extra old cheddar to the last three slices of the pizza that David gave me. I had it with a beer while watching two episodes of Gomer Pyle. 

            In the first story Sergeant Carter's platoon is in a war game in which if they make it to destroy a designated bridge they win the Golden Boot. Those men that get "killed" or "wounded" have to wear special tags to indicate those situations. Carter sends Gomer to scout a hill to see if it's all clear. On the hill is an enemy machine gunner but he tells Gomer he's dead and so Gomer tells Carter it's all clear. But Gomer forgot to look for a tag on the man and it was a trick. Some men are taken out and one is wounded. Carter tells Gomer to carry the wounded man back to safety but he gets lost and winds up near the bridge. He finds Carter there who has lost the rest of his men and his explosives. Carter tells Gomer to guard the bridge and let no one pass without the password while Carter goes for more explosives. A lieutenant approaches and demands without the password to be allowed to cross the bridge but Gomer says he'd better not. He tries to pass but gets caught in a snare that Gomer set and winds up hanging by one leg from a tree. When Carter arrives he tries to help the lieutenant down but is trapped in another snare. Carter asks if Gomer knows the consequences of assaulting a lieutenant but Gomer explains the bridge is not safe because he took out all the ropes supporting it to make his traps. He demonstrates by tossing a rock at the middle of the bridge and it collapses. The umpire steps out and congratulates Gomer on his resourcefulness. Carter's platoon wins the Golden Boot.

            In the second story Carter has a big date for his liberty day. Gomer has plans to take a picture of a cannon and then sit and watch the street lights go on. But Gomer's platoon mate Frank has suddenly been given guard duty when he'd planned on doing grocery shopping for his wife and baby and then taking the baby to the doctor. Gomer volunteers to do that stuff for Frank. While Carter is on his way to his date he sees Gomer with the groceries and offers him a ride. But Gomer has trouble finding the place and it causes Carter to be twenty minutes behind schedule. Frank's wife Lois lets Carter use the phone to call Bernice. When Gomer hears Lois say she'll have to take two buses to take the baby to the doctor he assumes sergeant Carter is willing to drive her and so Carter can't refuse. He calls Bernice again. After taking them to the doctor Carter's car won't start. Gomer fixes it and so Carter can't very well not give them a ride back. When Carter calls Bernice again she is impatient and they argue, cancelling their date. Meanwhile the baby cries in Lois's and Gomer's arms but is happy and calm when held by Carter. Carter falls asleep with the baby and when he wakes up his car is gone. He is just calling the police when Gomer arrives with Bernice, Gomer has explained the situation and Bernice is very tender towards Vince. They are about to go to their movie but the baby starts crying without Carter. So they decide to all go to a drive in movie so Carter can continue to calm the baby. 

            Lois was played by Betty Conner, who played Anne Cooper the older sister on "Gidget".

            Bernice was played by Laurie Mitchell, who as a pin up model was "Miss Body Beautiful" and "Miss Bronx." Her first acting gig was as a sex trade worker in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." She co-starred in the musical comedy "Calypso Joe." She played the evil ruler of Venus in "Queen of Outer Space", she played Lamda the Moon girl in "Missile To The Moon." She played a member of Sweet Sue's all girl band in "Some Like It Hot." She played a showgirl in "That Touch of Mink."