Marlyn Mason

            On Sunday at 0:30 I did my usual check for bedbugs in the walls and baseboards before going to sleep and found none. 

            Hopefully that will become a trend. I revised my translation of the third verse of "La java des chaussettes à clous" (The Tap dance of the Hobnail Boots) by Boris Vian: "From New Years right into Yule / ignorant of ridicule / they bring to the streets a school / that counsels the simplest of sense / to calm down the brouhahas / between factory gals and fellas / by dancing the tarantella / on their feet and on their heads." 

            I finished working out the chords for "Bébé Polaroid" by Serge Gainsbourg, ran through it in French and English and uploaded it to Christian's Translations. 

            I weighed 89.1 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I worked for over an hour on scraping the bottom of my square baking pan and by lunchtime all that was left to do was a little square of black about the size of a credit card. I've never spent so long cleaning one pan in my life. 

            I weighed 88.9 kilos before lunch. I had four cream crackers with five year old cheddar and a glass of lemonade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride. In the Bloor bike lane a food delivery guy on an electric bike had some kind of strap dragging on the street and so when we got to a light I pointed it out to him, warning it could get caught in his wheel. I rode to Yonge and Bloor as usual. I weighed 89.3 kilos when I got home. 

            I worked on my poem series "My Blood In A Bug." 

            I spent some time researching movies about or that take place in insane asylums. It might take me a long time to find something that corresponds to my line "Undress the patient and then lay them down just like a sacrifice." 

            I forgot to buy tomato sauce or salsa on my last trip to the supermarket but I wanted to make pizza for dinner so I sauteed garlic and onions, added a bit of olive oil salad dressing, a can of tomato paste, two packs of garlic parmesan sauce that's been in my fridge for a long time, Chinese chili paste, teriaki sauce, oregano and Italian seasoning. I was surprised that it didn't turn out too bad at all. I spread about half of it on a loaf of naan, added a chopped up beef burger and a few slices of extra old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching two episodes of "Gomer Pyle." 

            In the first story Gomer's cousin Goober shows up at the base after having had a falling out with Wally at the filling station. He shows a tremenous amount of naivety about the military considering considering that from The Andy Griffith Show we know that he has already served in the army and the National Guard. He says he wants to hang around to see if he likes the Marines but Gomer tells him he can't stay on the base. Gomer thinks Goober has gone to a hotel in town but after Gomer goes on a hike with the rest of the platoon Goober decides to try on his uniform. But just then two officers come in to inspect the barracks and find Goober there in uniform but wearing brown and white shoes. They read the name "Pyle" on his shirt and assume her's Gomer. They tell him not to leave the barracks but to take the shoes off. When Gomer comes back he tells Goober to go out and sit behind the barracks because Carter is coming. But the same officers as before are driving by and they see him in his sock feet. They decide he's a case for the psychiatrist and take there in the jeep. The doctor tells Carter that Gomer has a split personality. Later when Gomer tries to tell Carter about Goober, Carter thinks "Goober" is Gomer's name for his alter ego. Later when Gomer comes to Carter in the middle of the night to tell him Goober is back, Carter calls the psychiatrist. The doctor finds Goober in Gomer's bed and Carter finds Gomer out back. When Carter finds out there really is a Goober he starts laughing hysterically and the psychiatrist takes him away. 

            In the second story Carter's sister Babe comes to visit and announces that she's going to marry Harold Kanobly. Carter disapproves because Harold has no class, no personality, no charm, he's in the surgical supply business and he's not a Marine. Carter says it will break his heart if she marries Harold. Babe forms a plot to trick Carter into wanting her to marry Harold. She calls up Gomer and asks him to show her around town. Then she tells Carter she had a date with a Marine. The next night Carter spies on her and sees her with Gomer. She tells Carter she's found a Marine she loves. Carter calls Harold and gets him to come for Babe, encouraging them to elope as soon as possible. Babe was played by Marlyn Mason, who started TV acting at the age of 16. She co-starred in "Brigadoon" and "Carousel." She appeared with Elvis in The Trouble With Girls and sang the duet "Sign of the Zodiac: with him. She co-starred in the short lived TV series "Longstreet."