Sheree North

            On Saturday morning I had a dream about teaching a yoga class to a tall guy who left when he found out that yoga is not Jewish. 

            I translated the verse I’d missed when I first translated “C’est le Bebop” by Boris Vian. 

            I worked out the chords for about half of the second verse of “Mon Légionnaire” by Raymond Asso. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions.

            I weighed 87.9 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I went to Freedom Mobile and paid for my March phone plan. Then I went to No Frills where I bought seven bags of red grapes, a pack of strawberries, a pack of blueberries, seven loose avocadoes, two bags of Imperfect avocadoes, three mangoes, two jugs of orange juice, and a jug of Garden Cocktail. As I often do at No Frills I forgot to buy vine tomatoes because they display them in an area where I’m not used to looking. 

            I weighed 87.7 kilos before lunch. I had the usual tomato, avocado and lemon juice salad with a glass of Garden Cocktail. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 86.6 kilos at 17:45. 

            Because I’d gone to bed at 23:00 yesterday I didn’t get caught up on my journal this evening until supper. I had the same thing as lunch but with an extra tomato and avocado while watching season 2, episode 15 of Burke’s Law. 

            A ship is scheduled to set sail and Davidian Jonas the owner of the line is supposed to be taken ashore but they can’t find him. The captain decides to haul anchor and when it comes up Jonas’s dead body is tied to it. Tim tries to question the captain but he seems to only speak Russian. Burke arrives and says to book the captain on suspicion of murder and suddenly he can speak English. There was a party last night and everyone left for shore. Burke examines Jonas’s cabin and finds a gold earring as well as a note reading “Hangar 17, International Airport, 9:30.” He discovers a crewmember that everyone else somehow overlooked, a beautiful Swedish radio operator named Ulla Swenson. She has the guest list for the party. The permanent guests are staying in a hotel. They are Milhew Court, Harvey Haight, Putzi Voltran, and the Maharani of Kooshipoo. Burke finds that all the guests from the boat have checked out of the hotel. They find Harvey at the airport trying to leave for Marseilles. Burke finds Putzi at another hotel. He was Jonas’s personal photographer. Jonas had a brother named Gregorio who came to the party uninvited. Burke meets Harvey in the police psychiatrist’s office where he is alone making ink blots in books. He says he was Jonas’s public relations man. It was his job to make people believe he was where he was not. He asks Burke to lead him through a free association test. The word “murder” comes up a lot. Tim and Les find Court racing model boats with children in the park. He says once he had a line of sixteen ships but because of Jonas he is now down to seven. He tried to make a deal with him last night but he was occupied in an argument with Gregorio. Burk goes to the Taj Mahal Club to talk with the Maharani. There is an amazing dance performance being done by Tanya Lemani. The Maharani is a white woman in Indian garb but also wearing a veil while selling cigarettes. She met Jonas in Rangoon and hitched a ride back to the US. But it took two years because every time they touched port Jonas fixed it so she couldn’t go ashore. She says Jonas and Gregorian hated each other. Burke visits a stereotypical Romani camp where people dance and fight and party. It turns out that Gregorian is the king of the Romani and the sole heir of Jonas. Jonas was ashamed of his heritage. Jonas sent for him last night but not as a guest. He was planning a merger and Gregorian was his broker. He tells Burke he has a seat on the exchange and wears a three button suit and a homburg. An old woman with a crystal ball has made him a fortune by predicting what stocks to buy or sell. As Burke is leaving Gregorian throws a knife at him, deliberately missing to show he’s not a killer. Burke throws the knife back and comes even closer. Burke picks up Ulla and takes her to the Jonas yacht. At the dock Burke gets a call and the lab reports that Jonas was knocked unconscious in his room before he was drowned and there was zero alcohol in his blood. He hears a scream and finds Ulla unconscious. Burke goes on the yacht and finds Putzi. He suggests he hit Jonas with his camera. Putzi was only pretending to be drunk last night and holding up the unconscious Jonas. He says Putzi was being paid to stop the merger. Putzi attacks Burke and they fight. Putzi attacks with a fire axe and Burke cools him off by spraying the fire extinguisher at him. 

            The Maharani was played by Sheree North, who started as a ballet dancer. She lied her age during WWII to dance in USO shows. She made her film debut uncredited in Excuse My Dust. She danced in nightclubs and made her Broadway debut in 1953 in the musical Hazel Flagg for which she won a Theatre World Award. This led to her being cast in the movie Living It Up. She was picked as a possible replacement for Marilyn Monroe by 20th Century Fox in 1955 when the two women had the exact same weight and measurements. She later played Marilyn’s mother in a TV movie. She had her first co-starring role in How To Be Very Very Popular. She co-starred in The Lieutenant Wore Skirts, No Down Payment, Destination Inner Space, and The Way To The Gold. On TV she co-starred in the short lived sitcoms Big Eddie and I’m a Big Girl Now. She played Lou Grant’s girlfriend on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Blanche’s sister Virginia on The Golden Girls, and Kramer’s mother on Seinfeld. She’s the one who first spoke Kramer’s first name of “Cosmo”. She earned Emmy nominations for appearances on Marcus Welby and Archie Bunker’s Place.