Anne Francis

            On Monday morning I worked out the chords for most of the first verse of “Amour puissance six” (Love to the Power of Six) by Serge Gainsbourg.

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I did my laundry and was finished at around 13:15. 

            I weighed 84.9 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 84.1 kilos at 17:30, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since December 6. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:25. 

            I read most of the riddles from the 10th Century Exeter Book but couldn’t answer most of them. Some of them have never been solved. 

            I had the rest of my lettuce, a scallion, three mushrooms, two tomatoes, three avocadoes and the rest of the sundried tomato dressing with a glass of Clamato while watching season 2, episode 30 of Burke’s Law. 

            In what would be considered a seedy part of town a dead body is found hanging from the neon sign of a cheap hotel. Burke’s team find the victim was registered as John Smith. He was well dressed and so they wonder why he would stay at such a low rent hotel. Burke looks out the window and sees an elegantly dressed woman enter the hotel. Burke, Tim and Les leave the room but on the way to the stairs Burke sees the woman exit the elevator and knock on the door of John Smith’s room. She enters and Burke follows. She pulls a gun on Burke and he asks if she has a permit. She says, “And a license”. He asks, “Private detective? I guess I should have known. I thought it would happen one day. You wouldn’t be …?” She answers “Honey West”. She asks, “Where is my client Andrew Selby?” and Burke tells her, “In the morgue”. He introduces himself as Captain Burke but she says, “There’s no Rolls out front”. He explains he parked it around the block. He shows his badge and she smiles and puts her gun away, saying “I wondered when we’d cross”. He gives her a lift. They are followed by a man in a sports car. She tells Burke that Selby called her in a frantic state and asked her to bring a gun. Burke tells her that now that her client is dead she should get off the case. They go for a drink and then back in Burke’s car. They are still being followed but Sam Bolt the driver works for her. 

            Burke goes to Selby’s address and the door is answered by Chris Maitland, Selby’s attorney. He tells Burke that Vera Selby is out. 

            Honey and Sam go back to search Selby’s hotel room. The payphone rings and she tells Sam to answer it. The voice thinks he’s Selby and says, “Double the money or we won’t go” then the caller realizes it’s not Selby and hangs up. Honey goes to her office and Maitland is waiting for her. He’s apparently Honey’s boyfriend. She tells him Selby was afraid his wife wanted him out of the way. Maitland leaves and Honey goes through a secret door in her office to her apartment. She checks her messages and one of them says, “Stay alive, forget about Selby”. 

            Burke arrives at work the next morning and sees Honey saying goodbye to George after she’s just charmed the Selby lab report out of him. Honey hands Burke the details of her own investigation so far. She leaves and Burke tells Les to tail her.

            Later at her office, Honey learns that Selby had taken all his money out of the bank and was carrying $100,000 in a black bag (which would be almost a million now). Someone grabs her from behind and she flips him but it’s her sparring partner as she practices her judo. She tells Sam that the police report says Selby had been on a boat before he died. There was salt residue and a fish scale on his shoe. There was fresh blue paint on his sleeve. 

            Honey goes to Vera Selby but she won’t talk to her. Burke arrives and she lets him in. Honey knows Les is following her and tells him she’s leaving now. Vera tells Burke that some people deserve to be killed. She says she used to be a showgirl and could have had anybody but she picked nobody. She says a woman called her last night to tell her Selby was walking out on her. Burke says a man doesn’t cut the labels out of his suits unless he wants to disappear. He says he was killed with his own gun and she’s surprised he had one. She says she was down by the ocean when her husband was killed. He tells her Selby was down by the ocean just before he was killed. 

            Burke goes to talk with Elizabeth Friendly, Selby’s secretary and finds Honey just leaving. Honey suggests that Les just ride with her but Burke says he needs to keep Les on his side. Burke asks Friendly for Selby’s appointment book. She looks in the drawer and it’s gone. Honey has it and she sees Burke pull up in front of her office. She tells Maitland to stall him and goes through the secret door. She disguises herself with a black wig and glasses and a librarianesque business suit and leaves by the back door. Les doesn’t recognize her as she gets into a TV repair van and Sam drives her to the pier. Maitland tells Burke Honey will be back in a minute. Burke waits until Maitland guesses Honey is gone. He gives Burke Selby’s appointment book. 

            Honey goes to the boat of Stacy Blackwell and says she wants to charter it. She says he was recommended by Selby. He takes her to his cabin. She hits her hat on the low doorway and it shows Blackwell that she’s wearing a wig. He pulls it off and tries to get fresh. She elbows him in the chest and karate chops him in the neck, incapacitating him. She takes the note pad from beside his phone. Burk stops her on the dock and she gives him the pad. She’s already memorized the number. She calls it and it’s the number for the payphone at Selby’s hotel. Before she leaves she sees Vera Selby arrive and go to Blackwell’s boat. She and Sam use the zoom video camera and the shotgun microphone in the van to spy on them. Vera accuses Blackwell of planning to help Selby disappear and then running out on her. Blackwell notices the van and they drive away. 

            Honey and Sam go to Jocko Creighton’s boat. He takes her to his office. Jocko says Selby offered him $5000 to give him grounds to divorce his wife. As she’s leaving Burke arrives. He thinks that Honey is the woman who called Vera the night before. Honey goes to see Vera and she says it was Friendly who’d called her. She says Friendly was in love with her husband but Friendly won’t get anything now because it all belongs to her. Honey informs Vera that all the money is gone. Vera says Blackwell must have taken it. 

            Honey goes back to Blackwell’s boat and finds him dead. Honey goes to see Friendly, who is packing for a luxury cruise. She says she thought Selby would take her with him, but when she found out he wasn’t she called Vera so she would stop him.

            Burke figures that Selby wasn’t carrying a gun but the killer took the gun from Selby’s house. Blackwell and Vera were having an affair. 

            Honey goes to Jocko and says she knows he killed Selby and Blackwell. She says she thinks the bag full of Selby’s money is in Jocko’s shop and suggests they call Burke. Jocko lunges at her and she flips him, and then he attacks again with the same result. He grabs a crowbar and swings. She dodges and runs. He grabs her, she elbows his gut and flips him, then runs. Then Burke arrives and knocks him out. It ends with Honey and Burke dancing in a nightclub. 

            This episode was the back door pilot for the Honey West TV series that ran for one full season. It was the first television series starring a female private investigator. Honey West is a character that was created in 1957 by the husband and wife writing team of Gloria and Forest Fickling, who used the pseudonym of G.G. Fickling. There were eleven Honey West novels from 1967 to 1971. There was talk of a Honey West film starring Reese Witherspoon but it was never made. 

            Honey was played by Anne Francis, who became a model at the age of 6 and was soon appearing on radio and TV soap operas. She made her Broadway debut at 11 in Lady in the Dark. Her film debut was an appearance in This Time For Keeps. As an adult she co-starred in Rocket Man, Brainstorm, Elopement, Lydia Bailey, Dreamboat, Bad Day at Blackrock, Blackboard Jungle, Forbidden Planet, Hook Line and Sinker, The Love God?, The Satan Bug, and Impasse. She starred in Girl of the Night. She won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Emmy for Honey West. She wrote Voices From Home: An Inner Journey. She wrote and directed the short film, Gemini Rising. She was one of the first unmarried individuals to adopt a child in California.