Weaponized Cleavage

            On Tuesday at about 2:30 I turned the heat back on. 

            Later that morning I transcribed four sets of chords for "Stormy Weather" and placed them on the lyrics for “Ciel de plomb" by Serge Gainsbourg. One is for Etta James’s version, another for Ella Fitzgerald's and two are for Billy Holiday’s, with one simpler than the other. I’ll start trying them out tomorrow to hear which ones work for me. 

            I weighed 89.1 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I scrubbed all three sides of the top of my kitchen stove and a bit of the oven door. I’ll probably be able to finish the front and sides of the stove in my next kitchen session. After that the dreaded oven might take a few days of work. 

            I weighed 89.3 kilos before lunch. I had chips, salsa and yogourt. 

            In the afternoon before taking a bike ride I checked the temperature and it was five degrees. I wore two scarves, my winter gloves and my hoody under my jacket and I was comfortable riding to Yonge and Bloor. It was kind of a dreary grey day for a ride though. 

            When I got back Benji and Shankara were outside our building chatting. I told them not to turn the heat on because I’d built a snowman in my apartment and they would be guilty of snowmanslaughter. We talked about Caesar's complaints about the heat. I said that since it was going down to minus one tonight I would definitely be turning on the heat. Benji wants me to do it because he doesn’t want to be responsible when Caesar complains. Benji says Caesar should have a health care worker visiting him on a regular basis but he would have to pay and so he won’t. Shankar says Caesar told him he has close relatives not far away but they are upscale and won't visit him in our building.

            While we were talking in the chilly afternoon air a big, voluptuous black woman walked by dressed for much warmer weather in tight jeans and with weaponized cleavage. 

            I worked on editing the opening poem for “My Blood in a Bug." 

            I listened to and watched the last video of my 2020 recording project and decided there was nothing worth keeping from it that I haven’t already uploaded to YouTube. I deleted the whole thing. 

            I went through all my sound recordings of the last year and renamed the song files according to the dates they were recorded. I deleted a lot of files in which I was just testing the microphone. 

            I colourized some more of my skateboarder photo. 

            I edited some of the photos of my ex-girlfriend Brenda from 1987. 

            I had a potato and my last chicken leg with some gravy for dinner while watching two episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. The first story was thematically a repeat of one from two seasons before. Barney misunderstands when he sees Andy and Helen in the jewellery store together and thinks he’s buying her an engagement ring. He tells everybody that they are getting married and then plans a surprise party for them. He gets all of Andy’s friends to chip in for a gift and Bee decides to have Andy’s bedroom renovated to so that it is more suitable for the taste of a bride. The room is wallpapered and they are given a canopy bed. When Andy and Helen walk in on the surprise and see the bedroom it is very embarrassing for Helen. Andy has to tell everyone they’ve made a mistake but that since they are all there they should have a party anyway. Andy tells Helen that when he said it was a mistake he meant for now. She says she’s not ready yet either. 

            In the second story Thelma Lou needs a ride to Mount Pilot for a dentist's appointment. Gomer offers to drive her and Andy asks Barney if he’s worried about Thelma Lou being alone with another man. Barney comments smugly that he's got Thelma Lou in his hip pocket. During the drive Gomer innocently repeats the comment to Thelma Lou and she decides to teach Barney a lesson. She asks Gomer to go to the movies with her. Barney is upset but still won’t swallow his pride. Andy explains the situation to Gomer and comments that if it were another man all he would have to do is take Thelma Lou’s advances seriously and she would go running back to Barney. Gomer decides to try to help Barney by making advances on Thelma Lou, but she overhears Gomer talking about his plan on the phone and so she decides to make advances on him. Barney looks in the window when she does so. Barney goes to Andy and so does Gomer. Barney wants to fight Gomer. Andy takes them both over to Thelma Lou but with Barney in the car. He explains to Thelma Lou that according to Gomer's upbringing, now that she has kissed Gomer she has to marry him. She takes the kiss back and Gomer accepts it even though taking the kiss back looks exactly like giving him a kiss. She and Barney make up but he still thinks he has her in his pocket.