Hunting Unowned Lightning

            I woke up at 1:00, after three hours of sleep. I got up to do the dishes, wash my face, finish my coffee and brush my teeth. I finished my blog and got ready for bed again at 2:37. I didn’t get much sleep and I knew I wouldn't but I knew if I didn’t rest my body in bed then I'd be exhausted when I got up at 5:00. 

            I must have dozed off a bit between 4:30 and 5:00 because I dreamed about holding a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and thinking of eating it but then realizing I wouldn’t have time to eat it before I had to wake up. 

            I finished posting my translation of "Les femmes ça fait pédé" (Women Are So Very Gay) by Serge Gainsbourg and transcribed the lyrics for his song “Betty Jane Rose." This one will probably be easy to learn because it’s lyrically simple, with a lot of repetitions. 

            I weighed 89.1 kilos before breakfast. 

            I took a bike ride in the late morning to Yonge and Bloor. I stopped to pee at my place when I came back and then went back out to Freedom Mobile to pay for my phone plan. But when I got there I was told that there are no payments allowed in the store right now because of the lock down. I said I couldn’t pay online because I don't have a credit card. The clerk assured me that I could pay by debit with my Bank of Montreal card but I was doubtful. I left in a bad mood. 

            I went to No Frills where there were no grapes. Instead I bought two bags of oranges, three mangoes and a pint of strawberries. I also got a jug of orange juice and a container of Greek yogourt. 

            I had some saltines and old cheddar for lunch with a glass of lemonade containing jalapeno. I won’t buy that drink again. I prefer the tang of straight lemonade but the touch of jalapeno cancels it out. 

            I took a siesta and was surprised that I didn’t have a very deep sleep considering how little of it I'd gotten the night before. 

            I paid my rent online and then tried to pay for my phone service by debit but the Freedom website only offered three bank options for doing that and none of them was the Bank of Montreal. I walked over to Freedom and told the guy but he insisted that I could still pay online by debit. He said I went to the wrong Freedom website. I have to use the one marked “Express” and use my Bank of Montreal card as a Mastercard. He showed me that in the lower right corner of my bank card it says “Mastercard” even though it’s not a credit card. He said he’d show me how to do it there but then said the cameras are watching and so I could just pay by debit in the store. He said the security is extremely tight there. We both expressed the hope that we would be out of lock down next month. He said he hasn’t been able to leave the country on vacation in a long time and that’s what he’s going to do when this is over. 

            When I left Freedom I ran into my neighbour Benji. We chatted briefly about what I’d just been through with paying for my service. He said Freedom is owned by Shaw now and we agreed that might be why the security is so tight. I teased Benji because I rarely see him more than a block away from home and now he was two blocks away. I warned him not to get lost. 

            I weighed 88.6 kilos at 17:45. 

            I worked on my poem series “My Blood in a Bug”. 

            I spent more than an hour searching for footage of lightning storms. It’s incredible how much material has labels on it to claim copyright. I guess some people make money off of this stuff. Why can't people just share and not try to own everything? I finally found a YouTube video that seems to have what I want and I downloaded it. I only really need a few seconds of footage of lightning against a dark sky. Next I’ll try to edit what I’ve found of lightning and snakes and see how it fits into my Instructions for Electroshock Therapy video. Then I want to try to make my own movie of a nest of electrical cords behaving like snakes. 

            I made two burgers and had one between two half pieces of toast with a beer while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. 

            In the first story Barney receives a chain letter but when he starts to write two copies out of caution Andy chastizes him for being superstitious. To prove he’s not superstitious Barney throws the letter away but then he is plagued by bad occurrences, mostly because he brings them on by being distracted and nervous. A marksmanship test for deputies is coming up and Barney is sure he’ll fail and lose his job if he doesn’t find that letter at the dump. But he doesn’t find it. Andy brings Goober over with a copy of the letter that he received, having sent one to Gomer at the Marine base. Finally Barney leaves it up to Andy to send the letter or not. At the shooting range Thelma Lou comes by at Andy’s coaxing to give Barney confidence and he does fine. Afterwards Barney makes two copies of the letter anyway just to be on the safe side but has an accident anyway. 

            In the second story Goober is becoming a fifth wheel when Andy, Helen, Barney and Thelma Lou are dating. He causes them to not have a great time and so Andy and Barney try to find Goober a girl. He likes Lydia Crosswaith and they encourage him to ask her out. After an awkward beginning they hit it off but then Goober and Lydia always want to hang out with Andy, Helen, Barney and Thelma Lou. That would be fine if Lydia liked to do anything but she’s a buzz kill for every activity. She just wants to sit and talk but she’s horrible at that as well because she has nothing to say and just answers questions with single words. 

            Lydia was played by Josie Lloyd who appeared as the character before, but this was the last time.