I finished memorizing “Betty Jane Rose" by Serge Gainsbourg in the last second that I'd allotted for doing so for today. I'll look for the chords for this punk rock song tomorrow but I’ll probably have to work them out myself.
During song practice my high E string broke but I was four fifths of the way through and was able to get by without that string.
I weighed 89.3 kilos before breakfast.
In the late morning I decided to change my E string and since my G string has gotten frayed I changed that as well. But I loosened my low E, my A and my D strings so I could reach inside my guitar and push the G string peg out and when I tried to tune my A machine stripped and now it won’t tune. I’ll have to use my old Epi until I get the Washburn back. Why is it that in 25 years I never had a problem with the machinery of the Epi but my two most recent guitars have had failed machines several times?
I made the sixth attempt to scrub and scrape clean the inside of my oven door. I got about two thirds of the window done. I'm hoping another two sessions will do the trick.
I filled out a form to get an appointment at my local pharmacy to get the covid vaccine. They’ll contact me when an opening is available and I put myself down as able to come at the last minute.
I weighed 88.4 kilos before lunch. I had kettle chips, salsa, yogourt and orange juice.
It was raining in the afternoon and so I didn’t take a bike ride. Instead I did some hip exercises while listening to the Goon Show episode from September 28, 1954: The Whistling Spy Enigma:
Greenslade: The Goons and myself after a successful season of unemployment, return to the air for a long series of one.
Hern (American accent): The crimes you are about to hear have all been specially committed for this programme. Here to tell you a story with the aid of smoke-glass ear-trumpet and reconditioned head is Captain Hairy Seagoon.
Seagoon: I remember when it all started. At the time I was asleep in my electrified elephant hammock, when through the pigeon hole flew a carrier pigeon. There was something strapped to it's leg - it was a postman. The letter was written in a disguised voice. Hurriedly strapping on a fresh pigeon I flew out of the window.
I went to see the fabulous Lance-Brigadier Hercules Grytpype-Thynne. Gad, how cunningly he was disguised! Stark naked, save for a sou' wester, string lunettes and a pair of identical plimsolls.
Grytpype: You are to make your way to Hungary via Budapest.
Seagoon: Will I have to go abroad?
Grytpype: If all else fails, yes. During the last 18 months you may have noticed that throughout the civilised world, and America, British prestige has fallen very low. And do you know why?
Seagoon: Yes. I don't know why.
Grytpype: One thing killed Britain, and that was our defeat by the Hungarian football team. Before they play us again we must make absolutely sure they don't win. This is Operation Explodable Boot. You will make your way to Budapest. Once there you will contact our British agent X.
Seagoon: How do I contact him?
Grytpype: By whistling a highly skilled mysterious secret tune. The moment he hears it he'll hand you a sealed envelope.
Seagoon: But the secret tune?
Grytpype: It goes like this: [whistles the Hungarian Rhapsody]
Seagoon: Wait! That's the Hungarian Rhapsody. What's secret about that?
Grytpype: I was whistling it in English!
Seagoon: I can't whistle.
Grytpype: Send in our highly skilled mysterious whistling espionage agent.
Seagoon: You mean you'll send a man with me that can do all my highly skilled mysterious secret whistling?
Max Geldray and Orchestra: play 'When you're smiling'
Grytpype: I've just been on the phonograph to HQ. You are to collect a new highly skilled mysterious whistling tune direct from our own highly skilled mysterious piano composer. Eccles knows him well.
(At the address)
Seagoon: Mr. Crun, sir, open this door at once!
Crun: I can't, it's locked, and the key's lost. Try the window that's open.
Seagoon: The window's locked as well.
Crun: It's open.
Seagoon: It's locked. Come out and see for yourself!
FX: [Door opened and shut]
Crun: You're right, the window is locked. What a state of affairs, the window and the door. Well, never mind. You've come for the new highly skilled mysterious whistling tune, haven't you?
Seagoon: Crun, we've got to find Hungary at once
Crun: But I haven't taught Eccles the tune!
Seagoon: You'll have to come with us.
Crun: Tell me, is it very far to Hungary?
Seagoon: Yes!
Crun: Then why do we keep galloping round and round this blasted room?
Ray Ellington and his Quartet play 'ABC's with rhythm and ease'
Seagoon: Major Dennis Bloodnok? My card!
Bloodnok: It's blank.
Seagoon: I'm keeping my identity a secret. But I'll tell you my name.
I'd like to stay the week here if possible. What do you say?
Bloodnok: Twelve and six a day, food extra.
Seagoon: Your charging me, an Englishman, to stay at the British Embassy?
Bloodnok: It's the holiday season. They charge twice as much at Blackpool.
Seagoon: I'm not here on holiday, I'm here on a dangerous mission.
Bloodnok: You mean you might get killed?
Seagoon: Yes.
Bloodnok: Oh well, that's different. Well, under the circumstances, I must ask for the rent in advance.
Seagoon: I've never been so insulted in all my life!
Bloodnok: Come now, with a face like that? You must have been!
Seagoon: Shhhh! Can you hear those highly skilled mysterious footsteps? It must be a highly skilled mysterious enemy!
Bloodnok: Of course. The moment he enters the room strike him down with something.
Seagoon: Right. Hand me that piano.
Bloodnok: That's no good, it's out of tune.
Seagoon: Hand me that 600 foot factory chimney in the corner!
Bloodnok: Not that, it's my last one!
Seagoon: Shh, shh. The highly skilled whistling tune. It must be the noble Eccles.
Moriarty: Ah, Captain Seagoon. Hands up!
Bloodnok: It’s Villion De La Prickon Moriarty nay Smith, head of the dreaded highly skilled mysterious anti-whistling Hungarian counter espionage agents!
Moriarty: Now, what is the highly skilled mysterious whistling tune? I must know!
Seagoon: I won't tell!
Moriarty: I warn you! I will count up to a highly skilled 40,000 and then I'll shoot!
Seagoon: 40,000?
Moriarty: Yes, I've to go home for my gun.
Seagoon: When I saw that he was a dwarf I was all for attacking him right away, but Bloodnok stopped me.
Bloodnok: No, wait 'til he gets older.
Seagoon: Finally, on his ninety-third birthday, we sprang.
[Telephone rings, and is picked up]
Seagoon: Hello?
Moriarty: Seagoon?
Seagoon: Yes?
Moriarty: I just thought I'd tell you I've been home for the last two hours.
Seagoon: Then who's this we've been battering on the bonce?
Eccles: I've been wondering when you were going to ask that.
Seagoon: Eccles, my poor, poor Eccles!
Eccles: How do you recognise me?
Seagoon: Who else wears a reconditioned head?
Seagoon: Where the devil can the highly skilled British agent be?
Bluebottle: I heard you call me, my highly skilled mysterious cap-i-tain. Sorry I didn't hear you first time, but my Dan Dare super cut-out cardboard radio receiver failed at a crucial moment. Moves upstage, strikes heroic pose, but unstrikes it when trousers fall down.
I am secret agent Bluebottle. Strikes mystery pose in army surplus night-shirt covered in egg stains. See, I will now show my Nordic features. Whips off false beard, false ear 'oles and dirty big cardboard nose. Olé!
Seagoon: But you look exactly the same without them!
Bluebottle: I know, I was disguised as myself!
Seagoon: What are the secret orders?
Bluebottle: You are to follow me to the football stadium. There we are to insert the dreaded dynamite into the football boots of every Hungarian player. And, when they kick the ball, aieeee-hey-hey!
Seagoon: In here, lads. This is their changing room. Now, those must be their boots. Now, insert the dynamite in the toecaps.
Bluebottle: Right, here Eccles. Hold these three red sticks of dynamite.
Eccles: Wait a moment, one of them is a stick of Blackpool Rock.
[Explosion]
Bluebottle: You rotten swine, you! While I was laughing you dropped a stick of dynamite down my trousers! Oh, I'm expos-ed. Aiiigh! Moves left, places scout hat over shattered area.
Seagoon: Ah, Bloodnok. Switch on the radio, quick.
Bloodnok: Right, the match has just started.
Sports Commentator: And the teams are just coming on to the field now, Hungary versus England. The match was nearly called off because the British team forgot to bring their football boots, but the Hungarians sportingly gave them theirs.
I weighed 89 kilos at 18:00. It’s usually less at this time than before lunch, but maybe it’s because I didn’t take a bike ride.
I worked on my poem series “My Blood in a Bug".
I worked on cutting more unwanted footage from the lightning video. I got it from 19.5 seconds down to 5 seconds and saved the project. Then I cut another second off but Movie Maker started behaving weird so that whenever I clicked the timeline it left a black stripe. I didn’t know what that meant and so I just closed without saving the changes over the last second of cutting. I don't think I'll be cutting much more once I get it back down to 4 seconds.
I rubbed a beef sirloin tip with olive oil, salt, pepper, rosemary and a garlic pepper with herbs mixture and roasted it.
I weighed 89.3 kilos before dinner.
I had a couple of slices from the end of the roast, a potato and gravy while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith.
In the first story an article about Andy being the sheriff without a gun appears in a national law enforcement magazine. Then he gets a letter from some TV people who’d read the article and are interested in doing a TV show based on an unarmed sheriff. Writer Allen Harvey and production assistant Pat Blake come to talk to Andy and then to look around. When Harvey is sure that a TV show could be made he brings in his producer, Gilbert Jamel. Pat is a very attractive woman and she flirts with Andy. They decide that the first story they want to do is a bank robbery and Barney takes them to show them around the bank. Andy invites them to his house for dinner and after they leave they find Gilbert has forgotten his hat. Barney says he’ll take it to their hotel but on the way he sees a flashlight moving around in the bank. He enters and finds the TV people there but they convince him that they are just doing a rehearsal. Gilbert says he’d like Barney to be in the show and asks him to walk out of the bank with a bag he hands him. Andy arrives and stops him at the door, looks in the bag and sees a lot of money. He was on to them because of all the questions they’d been asking about the bank and about when Andy and Barney go to bed. Gilbert reminds Andy that he’s a sheriff without a gun while they have guns but Andy points to the squad car where Goober and Floyd have shotguns pointed at the bank.
Barbara Stuart, who normally plays Skippy the fun girl on the show was barely recognizable as Pat.
In the second story a family friend Bee who has had a break up with her boyfriend comes to stay at Andy's place for a while. Andy has never met Gloria but Bee tells him he should make her feel at home. Andy says he doesn't understand why when people try To get away from the place where they live do the people they visit try to make them feel at home. Gloria is very attractive and so Helen gets jealous when Andy invites her along on their dates to try to make her feel better. When Helen goes home from a date mad and later Gloria kisses Andy, he knows he has to do something. He brings Gloria’s boyfriend Frank to Mayberry and Gloria runs to his arms.
Gloria was played by Jan Shutan, whose career started after winning Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts. She is best known for her appearance on one episode of Star Trek, The Lights of Zetar, in which she plays a love interest of Scotty.
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