Mosaic

            On Saturday morning I finished editing the text of “Calypso Blues” by Boris Vian on Christian’s Translations. All that’s left before publishing the blog is to find a YouTube video of the song to post with it. 

            I finished memorizing “Aux armes et caetera” (To Arms Etcetera) by Serge Gainsbourg and looked for the chords. Several sites had them but they were all the same and I was surprised that everyone agrees it’s just F and C all the way through in instrumentals, verses and choruses. 

            During song practice a squirrel crossed Queen Street toward my window over the slippery cover they’ve put on the line. As soon as it got to my side it was attacked by a sparrow defending its nest. Those little guys are vicious. I remember a few years ago when I was looking for pine cones down by Sunnyside Beach in the trees that grow in the park area that runs parallel to the water. I got hit in the head by an angry sparrow. This time the squirrel at first retreated but then charged westward on the line and the bird got out of the way. 

            After song practice I worked out the chords for the intro and first line of “Aux armes et caetera” and so far the posted chords I’d found are right. 

            I weighed 89 kilos before breakfast. I took a bike ride to Yonge and Bloor. It still didn’t feel warm enough to wear shorts but I wasn’t uncomfortable in my tank top. When I got back I stopped at home to pee and then headed out to the supermarket. 

             At No Frills I bought seven bags of seedless red grapes, a pack of three chicken legs, a pie sized apple crumble, Dijon, dill pickles, kitchen bags, Sunlight detergent, hair conditioner, Folgers coffee because it was on sale, a container of skyr and a pack of toilet paper. 

            I weighed 88.4 kilos before lunch. I had a Montreal style bagel with five year old cheddar, a sliced tomato and a chopped pepperette, with a glass of lemonade. 

            I propped open the back door to the deck for the first time this year. 

            I worked on my poem series “My Blood in a Bug.” 

            I weighed 88.6 kilos at 18:15. 

            When I went out to close the back door Benji came out of his room to tell me that he thinks my call downstairs worked and they turned down the music. I told him I was glad that it helped. He said, “What a difference a white man makes.” He thinks that the person I spoke to could tell that I was white and so she took me more seriously than she would Benji. 

            I wanted to convert some more MOV files to MP4 but Cloudconvert said that I’d gone over my limit for a 24 hour period. I’d thought the limit was ten files and I still think it is but I guess they count the five files I did yesterday as also my limit because I’d left the session. I have twelve more files to do and so I’ll convert some tomorrow and the rest on Monday. Instead of converting files I imported the five videos I’d converted into my Movie Maker project. I deleted one, kept two as they are and edited the others. 

            I colourized a little more of my skateboarder photo from the 1980s. 

            I made naan pizza with salsa, the last of my pepperettes and cheap old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. In the first story Andy and Helen want to set Warren up for a double date but he turns them down and reveals himself to be girl shy. He instead stays at the courthouse and watches a TV show featuring a suave secret agent who has a way with women. Andy gets called away from his date with Helen by an emergency and so Helen goes to the courthouse to wait for him. Warren is asleep when she arrives and begins to sleepwalk, behaving towards Helen the same way the secret agent did towards a woman in the show. Helen has to lock herself in a cell to get away from Warren. When Andy gets back Warren remembers nothing but he knows he must have been sleepwalking as he’s done it before. Warren doesn’t want to tell Andy about his somnambulism because he thinks it will get him fired. The next night Andy gets called away again and Warren goes to sleep. When Helen comes looking for Andy the whole thing happens again. Andy fires Warren and as he’s packing gives some of his stuff to Goober. He shows him how well his portable TV works in case Goober wants to buy it and there is a Fred Astair movie on. Goober is the only person who knows that Warren is a sleepwalker and he convinces him to tell Andy. When he visits Andy he falls asleep on the couch and the next thing they know Andy is dancing like Fred Astair with Aunt Bee. When it finally comes out that he’s a sleepwalker everyone understands and he gets his job back. 

            In the second story Warren has taken up mosaic art as a hobby and he thinks it has psychological value for relieving tension. One night at the courthouse he meets Otis for the first time and tries to send him home, not realizing that there is a longstanding tradition of Otis staying in the jail on Friday and Saturday nights. Otis has to take a swing at Warren for him to arrest and incarcerate him. The next morning Warren decides to try to rehabilitate Otis through art. His theory is that Otis’s drinking is a valve and art is a valve that can replace it. Warren threatens Otis that he won’t let him stay in the jail if he doesn’t try mosaics. Otis takes to it right away. He makes his own artwork and gives it to Andy to hand above his mantle. Otis’s mosaic is a cow in a field with clouds above and everyone hates it but pretend to like it. When Otis is gone Andy puts it in the closet. Otis is asked to speak before Bee and Warren’s art group but he drops by Andy’s place first only to find that his art is in the closet. Otis shows up drunk at the art group meeting and shows everyone a much better mosaic that he did when he discovered that he does his best work while drunk. 

            The reaction to Otis’s first mosaic is odd because despite it being somewhat cartoonish it’s really better than everything else we see in the episode. It has a better composition and the shadow under the cow is nicely done.