Jesse Pearson

            On Saturday morning I memorized the first verse of the original French version of “O Canada.” I also made some adjustments to the translation and need to do more because some parts are rhythmically and grammatically awkward. 

            I weighed 89.4 kilos before breakfast.

            In the late morning I took a bike ride to Yonge and Bloor. There seems to be a plethora of those standing rider electric scooters this year. I’ve never seen so many on the street. On my way back along Queen, at around Simcoe there was an early middle aged guy lying on the sidewalk and propped up on one elbow while holding a small Styrofoam cup. He said to two young women who were approaching, "Excuse me, could you fuckers spare a quarter?” That’s an interesting technique. Maybe he's a scholar doing a study on whether it works or not. 

            When I got home I took a pee, tightened up my covid pony tail, cleaned off my mask with a lint roller and headed back out to the supermarket. At No Frills there were no grapes and so the only fruit I bought was a pint of strawberries and a pint of blueberries. I also got Sunlight detergent because I’ve been going through it fast during my oven cleaning project. I picked up some lemonade, skyr, Greek yogourt, salsa, pasta sauce and a pack of chicken drumsticks. 

           Since it’s my birthday on Wednesday and since because of the lockdown I still can’t comfortably go out to restaurants I was looking for special stuff that I wouldn't normally buy so I would have something interesting to eat at home that day. I bought a pack of maple candied smoked salmon, a bag of cheesy garlic breadstick favoured potato chips, vanilla ice cream and a chocolate chip pie. 

           There was a little girl shopping with her father. She was running around exploring while he just walked ahead. Later she started crying because she couldn’t find him. They found each other in seconds but it seemed a bit deliberate on his part to teach her a lesson not to wander off. 

           Before lunch I weighed 89 kilos. I had saltines with five year old cheddar and a glass of lemonade. 

           I took a siesta and slept forty minutes longer than usual. 

           I weighed 89.4 kilos at 18:00. 

           I worked on my poem series “My Blood in a Bug." 

           I worked on my Movie Maker project of alternating clips of the footage of the snake pit from Indiana Jones with clips of the videos I made of the electrical cords that I animated. I got it so the snake footage ended at the same time as video number seven of the cords. There are still almost twenty cord videos on the timeline after that. I think what I’ll do next is keep the project as it is but make a copy under a different name and in the copy I'll delete the rest of the cord videos. Then I’ll render a movie of the video clips of the lightning, snakes and cords up until the end of cord video seven and insert it into the main video project for my song Instructions for Electroshock Therapy to see how it fits with the actual performance and audio. 

            I weighed 89.6 kilos before dinner. I grilled two burgers and had one on a Montreal style bagel topped with tomato, dill pickle, ketchup, barbecue sauce, dijon and scotch bonnet sauce. I had it with a beer while watching the last two episodes of the sixth season of The Andy Griffith Show. 

            The first story was one of the best of the entire series, which is surprising considering how lame most of season six was. The local paper is sponsoring an essay contest for Opie's class on the topic of the battle of Mayberry, which famously led to the establishment of the town. The winner will have their essay published on the front page. The battle was between the settlers and the Cherokee and as Opie begins his research, everyone including Floyd, Goober and Clara has an ancestor who was a colonel and who they claim led the battle to defeat the “savages." Opie is interested to know the Cherokee perspective and so Andy takes him to see Tom Strongbow who says his ancestor was a chief who led the Cherokee against the invaders and won. Opie is confused because he can’t find two accounts of the battle that agree. Andy takes him to Raleigh where he researches the battle in old newspapers and he discovers that the truth is that there was no battle of Mayberry. Fifty settlers and fifty Cherokee were ready to do battle but changed their minds and decided instead to get drunk together. The only shots fired were when the Cherokee went to hunt some deer so they could all have something to eat but they accidentally killed one of the settlers’ donkeys. Andy is very worried that this reality is going to upset everyone for whom the battle of Mayberry is a glorious legend. Andy actually tries to manipulate Opie to alter his essay but he refuses. The result is that Opie wins and everyone is angry at Opie. That is until the governor of North Carolina reads the article and goes on the radio to commend Mayberry for knowing how to settle a dispute without fighting. Suddenly everyone is proud of Mayberry again and Opie is a hero for making it happen. 

            Tom Strongbow was played by Norman Alden, who it was disappointing but typical to learn that he was not Indigenous. In the second story a famous singer named Keevy Hazelton stops in Mayberry to do some fishing. Keevy is famous for singing songs about towns and Bee and Clara remember that they wrote a song about Mayberry three years ago. They want Keevy to hear the song and invite him for dinner but he falls asleep. They don’t give up and go to Keevy’s hotel room. Keevy says he can’t use the song but his manager thinks it’s a good idea. Bee, Clara, Andy and Opie attend a rehearsal before the show and Bee and Clara are shocked and angry that Keevy has rearranged their song into a rock and roll song. With an hour before air time they say he can’t do it. Finally Keevy compromises and does the song slowly, with backup harmony and it becomes a big hit. It’s funny how I remember this song from when I was a kid, even though I probably heard it only once, but I don’t remember the story at all. 

            Keevy was played by Jesse Pearson who played the Elvisesque rock star Conrad Birdie in the play "Bye Bye Birdie" and later reprised the role in the 1963 film that made Ann-Margret a star. He later worked with Rod McKuen and recorded a few albums. Under the name A Fabritzi he wrote and directed the adult films “The Legend of Lady Blue” and "Pro Ball Cheerleader."