A Ham and a Fiddle

            On Friday morning I memorized the second verse of "Volontaire" by Serge Gainsbourg and continued to rework my translation. 

            I weighed myself before breakfast and at first, my weight was 84.6 kilos, then it was 85, but the third and fourth time it was 84.4 and so I'll go with that. It fits with the downward trend that seems to be happening and it's the lightest I've been in the morning in over a month. 

            Around midday I cleaned the inside of the big windows in my living room, then I removed the sliding windows for the left-hand set and washed the outside with vinegar Windex, a squeegee, and paper towels while lying on my back and reaching up. But these windows have double glass that can't be removed, and I think there must be a leak at the top of the big left window because the vinegar ran down on the inside and now it looks worse than before. It's the same kind of window as the ones in the kitchen and I didn't have that problem and I assume that when I clean the one on the right it will look clearer. I did a quick wash of the grooves that hold the left-hand sliding windows. I probably won't get them all cleaned until Sunday. The windows are out now but if it gets cold tonight, I'll put a couple of them back in. 

            I weighed 84.6 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 84.1 kilos at 17:15. That's the lightest I've been at that time in months. 

            I was caught up on my journal just after 18:00. 

            In the Movie Maker project for "A Ham and a Fiddle", my translation of "Un violin, un jambon" by Serge Gainsbourg, I finished editing the end and rendered the movie. Then I uploaded it to YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE0xHZ-tw_g 

            I searched for video footage that might relate to the line "the threshold has not been found" in my song "Instructions for Electroshock Therapy." I decided that I might settle for a clip from the 1931 film "Dracula". There are some interesting doorways there. I'll download it tomorrow. 

            I chronologized several more hard-copies of transcripts of the Gumby Bible group poem. I have fifteen more pages to put in order. 

            I had french fries with gravy and a pork chop with a beer while watching the movie, "Tweety's High Flying Adventure" from 2000. 

            In this story, it seems that Granny and Tweety live in London and Granny is a member of the Loony Club. One of her fellow members, Colonel Rimfire says that he would bet his fortune that cats are the most intelligent creatures. Granny takes his bet and proposes that her canary Tweety can fly around the world in eighty days and collect the pawprints of eighty cats that he's outsmarted. He is fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet so his progress can be tracked. Silvester plans on following because he won't let any other cat beat him to eating Tweety. Tweety is given a special royal passport for his trip and a certain London pickpocket is determined to get that for himself and so he follows as well. 

            On Tweety's way to France a wind picks him up and blows him to the Alps where his passport gets stuck in a glacier. Bugs Bunny just happens to be snowboarding in the area and does some impressive manoeuvres to save the passport and also to rescue Daffy Duck who is falling down the mountain. 

            Meanwhile in Paris, Silvester has been waiting ten days for Tweety to show up. He says he can't live on decaf cappuccino trail mix café aux lait. Then he sees Tweety being chased by a French feline who knocks over a table that is freshly painted and gets a white stripe down its back. Tweety goes to customs and gets his passport stamped. The customs official is Pepe le Pew who sees the two cats fighting but thinks they are female skunks fighting over him. Tweety gets the paw print of the female cat. 

            Meanwhile in the betting station, Foghorn Leghorn is in charge. Henery Hawk is taking bets by phone and asks a caller if they are chicken. Prissy Hen asks, "Haven't we come far enough to stop using that horrid term?" 

            Tweety arrives in Venice and is hungry and so he goes to a restaurant and orders bird seed with marinara sauce. But by the time he is finished eating he is so overstuffed that he can't fly and so he takes a gondola. But the gondola is jumped by cats and it turns out that the gondolier is also a cat. Tweety takes advantage of his new round shape and bowls the cats over. Tweety makes it to the consulate and then burps himself to normal size. He gets several cat paw prints from cats trying grab him along the canal. 

            Tweety arrives in front of the Sphinx in Egypt and a camel stamps his passport. Tweety decides to have a sleep, but Silvester is nearby with a gang of Egyptian cats. They charge and Tweety wakes up. He is grabbed by Silvester but then Silvester is jumped by the mercenary cats who are trying to get Tweety too. Tweety escapes into the Sphinx with Silvester in pursuit. He goes into a tomb where he finds a flute and plays. Out of a basket rises an alluring dancing female form, but it turns out to be Silvester. He grabs Tweety and is about to eat him when several mummified cats emerge from several sarcophaguses and attack Silvester. 

            Tweety makes it to Africa where he accidentally enters a lion's mouth and encounters the local consul who was previously swallowed but who stamps his passport. But the stamp is for all of Africa as if it was a country. The lion attacks Tweety, who runs up a tree. Pete Puma is nearby laughing at the lion's efforts. Pete and the lion both climb the tree and Tweety thinks he's a goner when suddenly a super strong mynah bird grabs them by the tails, spins them around, and throws them hard back to the ground. Tweety takes their paw prints and moves on. 

            When Tweety reaches Tibet, Gossamer the monster is the customs official who stamps his passport. Not far away Tweety discovers a cult of hooded worshippers of a giant idol that looks like him. They are sacrificing a female canary named Aooga to their god and on top of that, they are cats. Tweety rolls himself into a snowball that increases in size as it moves down the mountain until it buries all of the cats. When they recognize Tweety as their god they fall to their knees and ask forgiveness. Tweety tells them to set Aooga free and to never sacrifice any more canaries. Their leader asks what they will do on Saturday nights. Tweety introduces them to Hugo the Abominable Snowman who says he will cuddle and squeeze them. Tweety gets all of their pawprints for his book. 

            Aooga asks Tweety if she can travel with him. A powerful wind blows them from Tibet to Mexico. Speedy Gonzales stamps Tweety's passport. They fly to Rio where Rocky and Mugsy are hiding but somehow Mugsy has the official stamp for Tweety's passport. Then they get it stamped in Argentina. Tweety and Aooga start using the passport as a sail to aid their flight. 

            After Japan, they catch their boat to the US, but Silvester is already on it. He is about to go for the birds when a crewmember grabs him and puts him below to catch mice. The mice below are Hubie and Bertie. Silvester gives chase and gets a skillet in the face. He chases them on deck and they spill soapy water in his path causing him to slip off the boat. He manages to hold on by his claws but then Tweety pries them off to send him to the waiting sharks. Tweety has a change of heart and throws him a life preserver, but it hits him over the head, and he sinks. So Tweety dives in and pulls him up. Tweety says, "What I won't do for Warner Brothers!" But while they are all on the life preserver, the ship continues without them. 

           A wave sweeps them onto the beach in Australia where Hippety Hopper the kangaroo stamps Tweety's passport. Then the Tasmanian Devil arrives and wants to eat Silvester, but he convinces him to have a canary instead. The birds escape but Taz and Silvester follow on a mountain bike. Taz is driving and he seems to be made for extreme bike riding as they go up and down sheer mountainsides and cross rivers with ease. When the birds get just past a cliff at the edge of Australia Aooga is exhausted and falls. Tweety catches her and takes her back to the cliff. Taz and Silvester are closing in and Tweety sees a hang glider that just happens to be on the edge of the cliff. They launch it and Silvester jumps after them to catch hold of the wings with his claws while Taz pedals the bike in the air for a while before falling. 

           When the birds realize Silvester is on board they start flying again. Silvester and the hand glider head for the water but he snags hold of a sailboard and the birds hitch a ride all the way to San Francisco. The sailboard sinks in the harbour and the birds fly into town. They get the passport stamped and then Silvester comes after them again. They get on a skateboard and Silvester follows on another. But the cat crashes and they outmanoeuvre him. 

            Silvester catches a streetcar driven by Yosemite Sam but Silvester takes over the controls and tears off the brake lever. The streetcar goes off the rails and tears down the hills of San Francisco. There is a fog, and they are lost until they wind up on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. They start rolling down the bridge cables in the fog and then somehow end up at Alcatraz. 

            The birds catch their train heading east. Silvester makes it onto the back while Sam runs after it all the way to Vegas. He chases Silvester who tricks him onto a train heading southwest. In Vegas the birds go into a betting casino where cats are betting against Tweety. Silvester goes there to and sees the birds. All the cats gang up on the birds but as they fly above them and the cats swipe at them they collect their pawprints. Silvester grabs Tweety but Aooga has her name because of her stunningly loud horn blast of a shout and she forces the cat to let go. 

            The birds fly to St Louis where they gather a pawprint from an alley cat. Then to Pittsburgh, Chicago, and New York. They are a whole day ahead now and can look at the sights. But a hot dog vendor turns out to be Silvester and he grabs Aooga. But when he tries to put mustard on her it spills onto a nearby tall person who turns out to be little Marvin the Martian in disguise. Marvin tries to shoot Silvester with his ray gun but now it only shoots mustard. 

            Tweety and Aooga are about to board the Concord for England but then Tweety decides it's too easy and they opt to fly back to England on their own. Tweety gives his ticket to the clerk and tells her to give it to someone who needs it. Silvester gets the ticket. 

            The birds get caught in a hurricane and Tweety loses his ankle tracker. Then he gets separated from Aooga. But then he looks down through the eye of the hurricane to a tropical island and he hears Aooga's call. He finds her floating on the passport as it washes up on the beach. They are about to be attacked by wild cats, but the hurricane sweeps them away. The birds begin to fly again. 

            They approach the English cliffs and enter an inn where Tweety is grabbed by the pickpocket. He takes Tweety's passport, but Aooga gives him a horn blast and they get the passport back. Then Silvester arrives with the police who arrest Tweety for stealing a royal passport. But then they find that the stolen royal passport was stuck to Tweety's by the grease from the thief's fish and chips, and then Silvester is arrested. 

            The birds are in England, but Tweety thinks he's failed because he's now one day late. But then he discovers that he crossed the international dateline and he's actually on time. He arrives at the Looney club and hands Colonel Rimfire his passport. But the colonel points out that there are only 79 feline footprints in the book. So Tweety flies to the police wagon where Silvester is being transported and gets his pawprint. The queen knights Tweety which is the most unlikely thing in the whole story since he's not a royal subject. 

            Tweety, Silvester, Bugs Bunny, Daffy, Marvin, Rimfire, Henery, and Pepe were all voiced by Joe Alaskey. He started out in New York as a stand-up comedian and broadcaster. He became well known for his impression of Jackie Gleason. Gleason was so impressed that he chose Alaskey to re-record lost episodes of the Honeymooners. He played Yosemite Sam in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" He's the voice of Grandpa Pickles for the Rugrats franchise. He was a panelist on the New Hollywood Squares. In live action he was the star of the movie Lucky Stiff. 

            I did a search for bedbugs and for the second night in a row I found none. If the pattern holds, I'll find one tonight.