Bob Bergen

            On Sunday morning I memorized the fourth and fifth verses of "Volontaire" by Serge Gainsbourg. There are just two verses left and so I might have them done tomorrow. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos before breakfast. That's the most I've weighed in the morning in ten days.

            Around midday, I washed the grooves that hold the sliding windows of the left-hand window set in my living room. I had thought that I'd be able to finish that and clean at least one of the sliding windows, but I didn't quite get the grooves clean. I should be able to do at least that much tomorrow. 

            I weighed 85.8 kilos before lunch. That's the most I've weighed at that time in a week. I had Breton crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride. It was really cool enough to wear a long-sleeved shirt and pants, but once I got moving, I was okay. I noticed that the Queen Streetcar has started traveling west of Bathurst for the first time in a couple of years, but it short turns at Dufferin. I just looked it up and starting October 9 they'll be going past my place again and as far as Roncesvalles. No more annoying buses on my bike ride home. 

            I weighed 85.3 kilos at 17:13. That's the heaviest I've been at that time in twelve days. 

            I spent so much time writing the second half of my review of "Looney Tunes Back in Action" that I hadn't updated my journal by dinner time. 

            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching the 2006 Warner Brothers animated Christmas movie "Bah Humduck". This is the second time Warner Brothers has adapted a cartoon version of A Christmas Carol. In the first one, it was Yosemite Sam that played Sam Scrooge. This time it's Daffy Duck as a greedy business person who owns a big department store. This is an extremely slapstick type of comedy, which is funnier in live-action but much less so with cartoons that are indestructible. 

            Most of the Looney Tunes characters are his employees. Gossamer the Monster is a security guard, Speedy Gonzales works in Toy Assembly, and Porky Pig is Assistant Manager. Bugs Bunny is a customer. Porky asks for an advance so he can buy his daughter Priscilla the Pretty Pudgy Piggy doll for Christmas, but Daffy refuses. 

            In his office, Daffy is visited by the ghost of Silvester the Investor, the late, unscrupulous businessman, who had been Daffy's idol. One year ago today a disgruntled employee squashed him nine times with a forklift. Silvester tells Daffy that before the night is over, he will be visited by three more ghosts. 

            A very sleepy Elmer Fudd comes to see Daffy and tells him that he's just worked thirty-seven straight triple shifts, but Daffy tells him to get back to work. Marvin the Martian comes and asks if he can get time off to go back to Mars for the holidays, but Daffy sends him back to work. Porky wants Christmas Day off to spend the day with Priscilla because with her mother gone, he is all the family she has. Daffy says, "Bah humduck!" Daffy announces that the store will be open from 5:00 to midnight on Christmas Day. 

            After closing time on Christmas Eve, Daffy is alone, except for Bugs Bunny, who says he can't leave because a big snowdrift is blocking the exit. Daffy goes to spend the night in his safe, rolling around in his money. But he is visited by the ghost of Christmas past, played by Granny and Tweety. Inspired by Carole Kane's ghost in Scrooged, Granny is very abusive and hits Daffy a lot with a big candy cane before he agrees to fly into the past with her. They visit the Lucky Duck Orphanage where Daffy is a young duckling who never gets adopted by a family. But Daffy learns nothing from this visit and Granny kicks him back to his office. 

            Almost immediately, Daffy is visited by the ghost of Christmas present, played by Yosemite Sam. Sam takes him to see Marvin, who is mooning over Mars. Then they look in on Porky and Priscilla. She asks her father why Daffy is so mean, and he tells her it's because he has no family. Daffy is unapologetic and so Sam kicks him back to his office. 

            A little later the ghost of Christmas future arrives, played by a hooded Tasmanian Devil. Taz takes Daffy to his own grave. Porky and Priscilla are standing by the tombstone. Porky says Daffy tried to leave the store to himself in his will and as a result it had to be closed, putting many people out of work. 

            Daffy way too easily is convinced to ask for a second chance. Taz throws Daffy back to the store where he finds Elmer covered in snow and sleeping. He wakes him and tells him he's giving him a raise and a month's vacation in Hawaii. When Daffy's employees arrive for work at 5:00, Daffy greets them wearing a Santa suit. He gives Marvin a rocket to fly to Mars for the holidays. How many $billion would that cost? He hires Wile E Coyote his own personal chef, so he'll never be hungry again. He gives Priscilla the doll she'd wanted. He makes Porky his new store manager. He gives all of his employees a raise and a paid vacation. 

            Suddenly Daffy starts to think, sensibly that he's going to go broke with all this money he's spending but then Priscilla gives him some Christmas cookies and calls him Uncle Daffy. 

            Porky Pig, Tweety, and Speedy were voiced by Bob Bergen, who is the dubbed English voice of the Japanese anime character Arsene Lupin III in several movies. He played No Face in Spirited Away. He plays Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars video games and Windup in the Skylander game series. In 1998 he was the host of Jep! the children's version of Jeopardy. He is also a teacher of voice acting. 

            I searched for bedbugs and for the first time in months I finally broke the pattern of finding one every two or three days. Now it's been four days since I've found one.