Friday, 26 May 2023

Heavenly Leather


            On Thursday morning I finished editing "La Dernière valse" (The Final Waltz) by Boris Vian on Christian's Translations. I just need to find a video of the song before I publish it on the blog. 
            I finished working out the chords for "Mon père un Catholique" (My Dad Was Catholic) by Serge Gainsbourg. I ran through it in French and English and uploaded it to Christian's Translations.
            Twelve days ago I emailed Albert Moritz to ask for advice on which publisher to send my poetry manuscript to since Exile Editions has rejected it but he didn't get back to me. I assume he gets hundreds of emails in a week and some just get missed, so today I added a reply to my message, asking if Quattro Books was still an option. This time he got back to me right away and answered: "In my opinion, no. It has been taken over from the last of the previous owners, the "four", Luciano Iacobelli (who died last August), by a new, ambitious owner...who seems to get nothing at all done. In all the time he's had the press, in which there were several books ready to go, he has produced only one book, and no one knows exactly what he's doing. My suggestions at present are Ekstasis Editions in Victoria, B.C. (Richard Olafson) and Black Moss Press in Windsor (Marty Gervais) and Guernica Editions (Michael Mirolla) of Toronto. Probably in that order. Another possibility is Hidden Brook Press, but I don't know how it would please you; you could look it up. Another is Allan Briesmaster's Aeolus House, but that is a sort of cross between a poetry publisher and a "vanity" press. Briesmaster retains editorial authority - no one gets to be published simply by paying for production - and he provides top-notch editing, copy-editing, and design, but, then, the author does have to pay for production: Aeolus House doesn't assume any costs. It has quite a good list of poets that it's built up over several years. I'm thinking, but those are what have occurred to me so far." 
            Based on the order of Albert's list I'll try sending my book to Ekstasis Editions next. I'll have to check out what they do first in order to adapt to them the cover letter I already composed for Exile. 
            I weighed 85.3 kilos before breakfast. 
            I wanted to go up to Walmart to buy underwear but after shaving and showering there wasn't any time to do it before lunch. 
            I weighed 85.3 kilos before lunch. 
            In the afternoon I packed up my Kramer electric guitar and took it with me on my bike ride to Yonge and Bloor, south to King and then west to Perfect Leather. They had the guitar strap all ready and it looks great. I'd brought the Kramer along so I could see how the strap fits. The holes didn't fit over the guitar's buttons and so the elderly lady punched the ones at each end a little longer. I also bought two black leather laces to use just in case I want to tie the strap from the top of the neck. They did an excellent job and I highly recommend Perfect Leather to anyone who wants to get any leather work done. 







            I stopped at Freshco on my way home where I bought seven bags of grapes, a pack of strawberries, a pack of blackberries, some bananas, a pack of hot Italian sausages, a pack of five-year-old cheddar, two containers of skyr, two jugs of limeade, one jug of orange juice, a bag of plain kettle chips, a bag of jalapeno kettle chips, a bag of Cheezies (which I haven't eaten in decades), a Caramilk bar, a pack of frozen naan, a pack of frozen roti, vanilla bean Haagen Dasz and coffee Haagen Dasz. 
            I weighed 84.6 kilos at 18:30. 
            I tuned my Kramer and was able to adjust all but the high E string while they were locked. It's been years since I've tuned with that locking system and so it took a while to remember how it's done. 
            I was caught up on my journal at 20:12. 
            I had a potato with gravy and a chicken leg while watching season 9, episodes 6 and 7 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 
            In the first story Granny still believes she turned Mark Templeton from a frog into a man. She thinks that when she met him he was only human from the navel up because she's confused about his occupation of being a naval frogman. She wants to find out if she changed him from a frog to a human or just half and half again. When he comes for a date with Elly May, Granny gets him to take his shoes off under the pretense of reading his fortune through his feet. She's glad to see he doesn't have flippers anymore. Granny takes a frog to Jane Hathaway for her to kiss so she won't be single anymore. Back at home she sees Mark with his feet in the water and when he takes them out he's wearing his flippers but she thinks they're his feet. She concludes that whatever body part he puts into the water turns to frog. Everybody in the family but Granny understands that he's wearing a frogman suit. Elly says she wants to be a frogwoman and Granny faints. Later when she sees a frog in the swimming pool she thinks Mark has turned back to frog again. Granny goes to tell Jane and Jane thinks Granny is having bad dreams and so she arranges for her to see a psychiatrist in the bank building. Granny brings the frog to the psychiatrist and tells him Elly wants to marry it. The doctor thinks she should have brought Elly along. She asks the doctor to tell the frog to stay out of the water and so he does. Granny is satisfied and takes the frog home. 
            In the second story Granny brings the frog home and tells Elly to kiss it so it'll turn human. She says she won't watch and so Elly takes it outside and lets it go. Mark arrives and kisses Elly. Granny sees them and thinks the spell is broken again. But when Elly tells her she and Mark are going to the pool so he can teach her to be a frogwoman. Granny begs them not to go. When they insist on going Granny jumps on Mark's back. Jed takes her off and locks her in her room. Granny has a dream that Elly marries a giant frog and when they kiss Elly becomes a frog too. Granny runs to the pool where Elly is getting her frogwoman lesson. When she sees the flippers on Elly's feet she's extremely upset because she thinks the transformation has begun. 
            Mark doesn't like Mr. Drysdale because he threw him out of his office when he first saw him. Now that Elly, the heir to Jed's millions might marry Mark, Drysdale wants to get on his good side. Drysdale dresses like a sailor and tells Mark a fake story about being a navy war veteran. That melts the ice and they become friends. Granny pushes Drysdale in the pool because he tells her he's the one who got Elly and Mark together. Jed locks Granny in her room again. Jethro brings her two frogs and she thinks they are Elly and Mark. She escapes from her room with the frogs and goes back to see the psychiatrist. She leaves them with him, expecting him to turn them into Elly and Mark. When she gets home Mark and Elly are there and she thinks the doctor is responsible for changing them back from frogs. Granny tells them to stay away from the water but Mark tells her she's giving Elly another frogwoman lesson. Granny jumps on his back again. 
            Granny becomes chronically less realistic with every season. 
            The judge who married Elly and Mark in Granny's dream, and who married Shorty and Gloria a few episodes ago, was played by Canadian actor Vincent Perry, from Woodstock, Ontario. He played supporting roles on several TV series, including a judge on Perry Mason.

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