Harry L. Wolf

            On Saturday morning I memorized the first verse of "Que tu es impatiente, la mort" (Death You're So Impatient) by Boris Vian. 

            I blog-published "River of Alcohol", my translation of "Mon père un Catholique" by Serge Gainsbourg. I still have to post it on Facebook tomorrow and then I'll move on to learning his song, "Vieille Canaille" (Old Rascal). 

            I weighed 86.1 kilos before breakfast on the day after birthday eating. It's the heaviest I've been in the morning in 41 days. 

            Around midday I rode down to No Frills where I bought five bags of very expensive cherries, a pack of ravioli with spinach and cheese, mouthwash, dish detergent, and a container of skyr. 

            I weighed 86.6 kilos before lunch, which is the most I've weighed at that time this year. It's seven-tenths of a kilo heavier than this time last year. 

            I had a not-toasted bagel with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown to Staples because I wanted to look for some speakers for my interface, but they only had single speakers that didn't look like they were designed for stereo mixing. I rode to Steve's and Connor, the guy who sold me the Scarlett interface last year was there on the second floor. I told him about my problem of delay. He said he could sell me monitors but they were large and expensive and he wasn't even sure they would work. He says that he is able to eliminate noticeable delay digitally through Ableton by lowering the buffer rate. I told him that in my free version of Ableton I'm not given an option of lowering the rate. It's stuck at a very high buffer rate. He said I could also eliminate the delay in Audacity. So it looks like I don't need speakers and might just be doing something wrong. I guess I could also try to just unplug the speaker jack from the back when I'm recording and stick it in the interface. Sometimes with a technical problem like this I just need a fresh start so we'll see. 

             I weighed 85.7 kilos at 17:45. That's the heaviest I've been at that time in twenty days. 

             I worked on my review of Everything Everywhere All At Once and wasn't finished before dinner. I grilled five hot Italian sausages and had one on my last slice of seven grain bread toasted with Dijon, chili sauce, horseradish, five-year-old cheddar, and a slice of dill pickle. I ate it with a beer while watching season 9, episodes 8 and 9 of The Beverly Hillbillies. They've really worn out this frogman story arc by repeating the same gag over several episodes. Granny is confused by the concept of the frogman and thinks that Mark turns into a frog, as does everyone else that snorkels. It's as if the writers know this is the final season and stopped giving a fuck. 

             In the first story Jed explains that Granny is afraid of water and doesn't think it's natural. She thinks Jethro turned into a frog and thinks that the psychiatrist Dr. Klinger can turn him back. But he always just has Jane bring the frog back to the Clampetts and by coincidence she sees Jethro before she sees the frog and thinks Klinger worked his magic again. Then Jed tries scuba diving in the pool and Granny finds another frog, thinking it's Jed. She takes it to Klinger and when she comes home she finds Jed human again. 

             In the second story Mark tries to help cure Granny of her fear of water by showing her a film of the bottom of the sea and telling her it's the future of farming and the way to solve the problem of world hunger. Jed says he'll finance Mark's undersea farming project with $40 million or so. Drysdale had originally thrown Mark out of his office but when he heard he might marry Elly, who'll inherit her father's millions, he begins to butter Mark up by claiming to be a navy man. But when Drysdale hears about the possibility of Jed taking that much money out of his bank he throws Mark out. He begins to plot with Granny against the idea of Mark and Elly getting married. Jed, Elly, Jethro and Mark go snorkeling in the pool again and Granny finds four big frogs and one small one in the pool. She thinks the small one must be one of the neighbour's kids. She takes them all to Dr. Klinger and leaves them with him again. This time Jane explains to him that Granny has aquaphobia and so Klinger thinks that he has a solution. He turns out to be an amateur snorkeler and so he figures that since Granny trusts him so much, if he goes to her home and scuba dives in the pool she will understand that it isn't dangerous. He goes there with Jane and in the back by the pool he meets Jed, Elly, Jethro, and Mark. He goes to the dressing room to change into his gear while the rest go to the front. On the way they meet Granny and tell her that Klinger is scuba diving in the pool. She runs to stop him but he's still in the dressing room and all she sees is a frog, which of course she thinks is Klinger. She takes the frog back to Klinger's office where she meets his beautiful secretary, who also happens to be his wife. She tells her that her husband has turned to a frog and that she'll have to kiss him to turn him back to a human. She says she knows it's embarrassing so she won't watch. Granny leaves and then Klinger comes in through the back. He kisses his wife and Granny peeks, thinking he's just changed back. 

             The cinematographer for these two episodes and many others was Harry L. Wolf, who was also the principle cinematographer for Baretta and for eleven episodes of Colombo. He won two Emmy Awards for his work on those shows. He was nominated for a third for his work on Little House On the Prairie. He served two terms as the president of the American Society of Cinematographers.