Judith Jordon

            On Friday morning I memorized the sixth verse of "Dernière valse" (Final Waltz) by Boris Vian. There is only one verse left to learn. 

            I blog-published "Bye Bye Bijou", my translation of "Adieu Bijou" by Serge Gainsbourg. I listened once to his song "Quoi" and it has the feel of one of those melodies that he lifted from a classical composer. It turns out that the music is by Italian film composers Guido and Maurizio DeAngelis from the song "Come un gabbiano" with the original lyrics by Cesare de Natale. Jane Birkin called Gainsbourg from Italy to ask him to write a French version of the song and he faxed her the text. Tomorrow I'll start memorizing the song and I'm pretty sure I'll have to make some major changes to my translation. 

            I weighed 85.6 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I spent about two hours cleaning the upper north east corner of my bathroom. It was the last area that I needed the stepladder for. The bathroom exhaust fan that I never use because it's too noisy was particularly dirty. For the lower part of the same area I only needed a chair to stand on. I cleaned the two top shelves that fit in the corner in an L-shape. I don't think they'd been cleaned since I put them there many years ago. I also cleaned the lazy Susan that I keep where the two shelves meet. I dirtied two buckets of water all together. There's still the lower shelf to clean and the lower parts of the walls, which I can reach standing on the floor. 

            I weighed 85.3 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride but only made it just north of College and Brock where I realized I had a flat tire. I walked my bike home and bypassed Brockton Cyclery at Dundas and Brock because I figured it would be more convenient to go to Metro Cycles next door to my place. I'd forgotten that Metro is closed on Fridays. I wasn't going to walk all the way back up to Dundas so I just went home. Metro opens at 11:00 on Saturday and so I'll just have to get the tube then and change the tire before going to the supermarket. When I got home I removed the tire and saw that I also need a new tire because there's a hole in the side of the one I have. When I inflated my tube and put it under water I saw that the puncture is on the side. 

            I weighed 85.1 kilos at 17:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:15. 

            I reviewed three videos of me playing Mamadou on June 2, 8, and 10; and two of me performing "Post-Colonial Breakdown", which is my translation of "Mamadou" on June 11 and 13. On June 2 it was a clumsy ending, on June 8 there was too much traffic noise, and on June 10 I screwed up the lyrics. On June 11 I screwed up the ending and on June 13 I fucked up the middle. But even if there were no mistakes, on all of these I ended on the A chord and it doesn't fit. Since the recordings last summer I've changed how I do the ending so possibly none of these are worth uploading to YouTube. 

            I skimmed through the very first zombie movie, which is "White Zombie" from 1932, but it didn't have the kind of slow walking as if in a trance that I'm looking for. I also went through "Night of the Living Dead" and that has some moments that are closer but not quite. I'll try the 1950s version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers next. 

            I was feeling kind of sad this evening, maybe because of the flat tire, but I've had flat tires before so I don't know. It's not as if I didn't get anything accomplished today. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 7, episodes 18 and 19 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            Roy announces that he's found a record company that wants to record him but they have no money. Jed decides to financially back him. Roy plays Orange Blossom Special on the fiddle. Jethro's beautiful chauffeur Babs arrives. Jethro asks her if she installed in his limo his colour TV, his stereo, his two telephones, his snack bar and refrigerator. She says she installed them all but now he has to ride in front because there's no room in the back. At Jethro's talent agency, JB Enterprises, on the fifth floor of the Commerce Bank, Drysdale tells Jethro he owes $5000 in rent. But Jethro tells him he has unlimited credit. Bunny approved the credit when she still worked for Drysdale. Roy comes back from recording his album and plays Double Eagle on the guitar for Granny. 

            Drysdale comes to see Jed to see if he'll back Jethro so he can pay his rent, but Jed says he won't because Jethro refused to become Roy's agent. Drysdale assures him that Jethro wants to be Roy's agent now. Then Drysdale threatens Jane unless she comes up with an idea to convince Jethro to be Roy's agent. Jane serves Jethro with an eviction notice. He begs for a way out and she says he has to become Roy's agent, so Jethro agrees. Bunny is practicing her striptease act in the reception area when Jed and Roy walk in. When she swings her hips suddenly it knocks their hats off. Jethro takes Roy on but changes his image. He dresses him like Little Lord Fauntleroy with a long wig and has him sing The Great Pretender. When he's done Roy says he doesn't want to do it. Jethro tears up his contract and says he'll have to crawl to get accepted back. But then Roy finds out that his country record is a number one hit across the country. As Roy is walking away Jethro is crawling after him. 

            In the second story Drysdale is still trying to get Jethro to pay the $5000 rent he owes. Jethro shows up with his large entourage. One of them is a guy named Julie Andrews and another is a girl named Lee Marvin. Drysdale goes to offer the fifth floor to Jed and pushes Jethro out. But Jed and Granny set up a bunch of back woods style businesses under JC Enterprises. Jed cobbles shoes while Granny cuts hair and performs dentistry. Granny gets Drysdale in her dentist's chair and pulls out one of his crowns, because she thinks they are hollow teeth. Drysdale can't let the public have access to the fifth floor but decides to provide Granny and Jed with customers by offering his employees a medical plan. Mr. Cratchit is the first customer and he walks away happy after Granny treats him with her hair growth procedure. As a reward for Drysdale being so generous to his employees Granny locks him in her chair and starts pulling out the rest of his crowns. 

            Babs was played by Judith Jordon, who co-starred in the movies "Bigfoot" and "My Therapist". She was the original "And Away We Go Glea Girl" on The Jackie Gleason Show and was the first person on the show other than him to voice the phrase, "And awaaay we go". She was married to Sonny West who co-wrote with Buddy Holly the songs "Oh Boy" and "Rave On". He was also Elvis's bodyguard and so Judith lived at Graceland with him. Based on a photo I saw it looks like they were married there with Elvis and Priscilla in attendance.