Percy Helton

            On Sunday morning I memorized the first two verses of "Dernière valse" (Final Waltz) by Boris Vian. I also memorized the first two verses of "Adieu Bijou" by Serge Gainsbourg and made some adjustments to my translation. Two verses is half the song so it shouldn't take long to nail this one down. 

            I had my first song practice with the strap of my new Martin attached to the top of the neck and it's much more comfortable, enjoyable and easier to control the guitar. When I let go of the guitar it stays in one place and the neck doesn't tilt down. The guitar stayed in tune better than yesterday too. I still have to develop a feel for where the chords are like I have with the Washburn, but that's improving.

            I weighed 85.4 kilos before breakfast. Around midday I would have taken a bike ride downtown to check out guitar straps at Steve's Music and maybe an XLR cable for my microphone and another guitar hanger. But it was raining and so instead I brought the stepladder down from upstairs and washed most of the bathroom ceiling and the upper walls except for the northeast corner. 

            I weighed 85.8 kilos before lunch, which is the most I've weighed at that time in two weeks. I had saltines with seven-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            I didn't take a bike ride in the afternoon because it was still raining. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos at 16:45. That's the heaviest I've been at that time since January 4. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 17:00. 

            I listened to my June 24, 2022 video of "Kenya" and it definitely has more traffic noise than June 11. I compared July 2 to June 11 and July 2 has a bit more traffic noise, so I'll be uploading the June 11 video to YouTube. I compared my June 29 video of "La bas c'est natural" with June 19 and June 19 is definitely better. On June 29 there was more traffic noise and my guitar sounded a bit out of tune. I compared July 3 to June 19 and there is less noise on June 19, so I'll be uploading that one to YouTube. This is convenient because the June 19 session has already been synchronized in Movie Maker. I saved that project as another project named "La bas c'est natural" (It's Natural Over There). I edited it to start at the beginning of that song and tomorrow I'll cut out the songs that follow. I'll probably upload it to YouTube tomorrow. 

             In the Movie Maker project for creating a video of my song "Instructions for Electroshock Therapy" I inserted the clips of Donald Sutherland pointing that I'd edited from the 1978 version of "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers" into the main video to correspond with the line, "it helps us to remember it's the patient's fault in shock therapy". I turned all those clips to grey scale. The next line is, "To get a grand mal seizure (shock therapy) you know it couldn't be easier, get on right away with shock therapy". To fit with that I added the same seizure clip that I used before from the 1940s shock therapy video. The next line is, "Just two-hundred volts at point fifteen seconds...". I looked for video that might fit with that but so far I couldn't find anything. I might just settle for the clips I already have of shock machine dials being turned. 

            I scanned several more negatives. There are black and white fashion shots I took of my ex-girlfriend Brenda and some colour street and alley shots, among other things. 

            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce, the last of the hot Hungarian salami, and the last of my seven-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 7, episodes 8 and 9 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            In the first story Granny is sulking in her room after returning from Hooterville to find Maria the beautiful Italian cook in her kitchen. Despite the fact that Jed loves Maria's cooking he tries to fire her to appease Granny but Maria doesn't understand enough English to know he's trying to terminate her employment. Jane speaks a bit of Italian and so she comes to communicate with Maria. She also brings some postcards from her family in Venice. Jed looks at the pictures of Venice and thinks the city has recently experienced disastrous flooding. Jane arranges for a meeting between Maria and Granny and teaches Maria to say yes to everything. But Granny kicks Jane out of the room and asks Maria things like, "You're trying to get rid of me?" "Yes"; "I'll bet you've got eyes for my rich son in law Jed" "Yes"; "Jed has asked you to marry him" "Yes"; "Are you after Jed for his money?" "Yes". Jed shows Granny the pictures of Venice and suddenly Granny feels sorry for Maria. She agrees to let Maria help in the kitchen. They compromise and produce a few US hillbilly-Italian fusion recipes like possum vitaiola, fatback cacciatore, and collard greens parmigiana. 

            In the second story Lester Flatt, Gladys Flatt, and Earl Scruggs arrive dressed as gangsters. They've been doing a promotional shoot for their new album since Lester and Earl did the music for the movie Bonnie and Clyde. Jethro and Elly borrow their gangster clothes and their prop guns to pull a prank on Mr. Drysdale and pretend to rob the bank but they cause a panic. Drysdale's book keeper Homer Cratchet tells Drysdale and Drysdale promises him $7.50 if he captures the crooks. When Drysdale learns it's really Jethro he borrows his clothes and the fake guns to try to scare Homer. But Homer has already brought the police and Drysdale is immediately arrested. After Drysdale is baled out he gets the idea to do a gangster themed commercial for his bank. Some crooks will try to rob it but he'll save the day as Super Banker. But when Drysdale tries to stop the fake robbery, Homer throws him through the glass door for not giving him the $7.50 he earned. Then Homer helps the others carry sacks of money to the getaway car. 

            Homer was played by Percy Helton, who at the age of two appeared in his father's Vaudeville act. He was still a child when he began performing on Broadway. From the mid-40s on he was a frequently appearing actor in several movies and TV series with a distinctly recognizable look and voice. He co-starred in the film noir "Wicked Woman".