Seamon Glass

            On Saturday morning I memorized the first verse of "Quoi" by Serge Gainsbourg. I tried to revise my translation but I've yet to figure out what words to use. Each line begins with a word that rhymes with "Quoi" and so for instance in the first verse it's "Quoi" (What), "Moi" (Me), and "Toi" (You). There are no rhyming words in English meaning "What", "Me", and You". I might just use the rhyming French words for the beginning of each line and follow it immediately with the English equivalent. That way I can keep the rhyme and the meaning. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            In the late morning I went to Metro Cycles with my back rim and back tire. My back tire had a hole in the side and I asked if that wasn't better during the summer to keep the tube cool. He asked if I was joking and I said I was. He said, "That's pretty good!" So I got a new tube and a new tire. There is an area on the inside of the rim that feels sharp but he said it's fine. It took me about half an hour to put the new tube and tire on the rim and when I did there was a part near the nozzle that wouldn't go into the rim. I had to take it back to Metro and he said I hadn't spread the tube evenly around the rim. He fixed it and I took it home to put it on the bike. As I expected it took me another half an hour to install because I always get confused on the back tire about exactly how to position the derailleur. I had to take down my heavy backup bike and put it beside my Raleigh just so I could follow the example and set it up properly. 

            I called John at Li'l Demon to ask if he'd fixed my Kramer electric guitar yet but he hasn't. He said it should be done by the middle of next week. 

            There was a message on my phone from Tom Smarda about the annual Stop Shocking Our Mothers anti shock therapy rally, which hasn't happened for a few years because of covid. This year it's going to be on Zoom and the organizer asked Tom if I would present a recording of my song "Instructions for Electroshock Therapy". I called Tom and left a message that I have two recordings of the song on YouTube. He got back to me later and we chatted for a while. I said I'd email him the links to the YouTube videos. I told him that one of them is from my studio recording of the song and I'm using that as the soundtrack for a music video of the song. I reminded him that it will be thirty years ago this year that we started the band Christian and the Lions. 

            I went to No Frills where I bought seven bags of black grapes, one of them had very few grapes inside. While I was checking which grapes were good a woman asked if she could take one before I got all the good ones. I said "Sure!" I also got a strawberry-rhubarb pie, a bag of naan, a jar of salsa, a container of skyr, and a bag of kettle chips. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos before lunch at 14:20. I had saltines with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            I took a late siesta and by the time I got up at 16:40 it was too late to take a bike ride. I could have taken a short ride but I'd already ridden to the supermarket and back so I skipped it. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos at 16:40. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:10.

            I reviewed the videos of me playing "Mamadou" and "Post Colonial Breakdown" from June 14 to June 19 and they all end on the A chord. June 19 was the best so far but that A chord just feels wrong and so I can't use it. I'll review the rest but I predict that none of them will fit. I end the song differently now and so I think I'll have a better chance of harvesting a good version of this song from the next recording session, hopefully in a month or so. 

            I continued searching for video clips that would fit with the line, "for the rest of their life they will be walking slow from shock therapy". I tried searching "mass hypnosis", "Sleepwalking", and "walking in a trance". Sleepwalking turned up a couple of interesting scenes from silent films. Always a woman and always walking with her arms outstretched in front of her. I guess the silent era is where the trope of somnambulism with arms outstretched began, but I doubt if anyone sleepwalks that way. Tomorrow I'll try "walking in a daze", "walking mindlessly" , and "Walking in a stupor". 

            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce, a cut up beef burger, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 7, episodes 20 and 21 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            In the first story Mr. Armstrong the building inspector comes to see Drysdale and asks him about the beautiful girl he saw with the sandwich board that reads "Follow me to the fifth floor of the Commerce Bank Building". Drysdale tells him that Elly May is in mourning over Jethro Bodine who used to have a talent agency on the fifth floor but took his own life by jumping out of the window. He died before he could make her a star and so now she just walks aimlessly with that sign. A few other of Jethro's former customers come around from time to time because they can't accept that he's gone.

            Jethro's former entourage member Julie Andrews says he's going back to work at the car wash.

            Granny the dentist plans on removing all of Drysdale's teeth so she can put in the set of wooden teeth that Jed whittled for him. They should do a horror version of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            Mr. Armstrong visits the fifth floor. He thinks that Jed, Granny and Elly are all in mourning over Jethro and that the dentistry and whittling, and other crafts they are engaging in is occupational therapy arranged for them by Drysdale, and he's pleasantly impressed. 

            In the second story Drysdale brings in a trouble shooter named Homer Bedloe to get rid of the Clampetts from the fifth floor. Bedloe used to work for Drysdale's father who was the meanest and therefore greatest man he ever knew. Drysdale and Bedloe go to the fifth floor and put on an act in front of the Clampetts. Drysdale plays the good guy trying to save the Clampetts from Bedloe forcing them out because none of their activities are licenced. 

            Mr. Cratchit comes to Granny to have the poultice removed after the hair growth treatment she gave him two episodes ago. He was bald but now he has a full head of red hair. He grabs Elly and kisses her. 

            Bedloe in a black hat comes with a writ to evict the Clampetts. Drysdale in a white hat challenges him with a counter-writ. While they are facing off, Jed says he doesn't want to cause trouble and says he's going to move out. But later they are so inspired by Drysdale's defense of them that they've decided to stay after all. 

            Julie Andrews was played by Seamon Glass, who joined the Marines at 17 during WWII and served in the Pacific. He was put in the brig four times but he says not for anything he needed to be ashamed of. After the war he became a college boxing champ and then for a while a professional boxer. Boxing led him to coaching actors, followed by stunt work and then acting. He co-starred in "This is Not a Test", and "Winterhawk". While playing a small part in "Sleeper" as a guard he had to capture Woody Allen, who accidentally gave him a bloody nose. He was an elementary school substitute teacher in 1962. He taught high school drama into his acting career. He was a counselor at Fairfax High School when Demi Moore and Timothy Hutton were students there. In 2010 he published his novel Half Assed Marines based on his own experiences in the Marine Corps.