Searle Kramer

            On Thursday morning I finished working out the chords for “Tout a été dit cent fois” (It’s Been Said a Hundred Times) by Boris Vian. Tomorrow I’ll run through it in French and then try playing my translation to hear if it fits, and if not I’ll adjust it. 

            I transcribed one more set of chords for the English version of the Hungarian song “Gloomy Sunday” and then I started working them out for the intro to the version of the song by Serge Gainsbourg. So far the chords I hear don’t match any of the ones I found. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the second session of two. Tomorrow I’ll begin a four session stretch of playing my Martin acoustic guitar. 

            I weighed 86 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around noon I left home to ride up to Top Cuts at Yonge and St. Clair. It took me about fifty minutes. The place was busy but I only had to wait about ten minutes for Amy to finish with her customer. I think someone might have been ahead of me but Amy asked if I was next and I said, “I hope so!” and got into her chair. Like last time I got her to do short back and sides and little longer in front. I learned that she and the other hairdressers have to buy all of their own equipment except for some of the hair products. Yesterday her blow dryer caught fire. 

            My friend and former band mate Brian Haddon was waiting for me outside. We walked down to The Quail in Rosedale at 1055 Yonge. The staff was very friendly and the food was far better than I’d expected it to be. We shared a pitcher of Creemore. Brian had the steak pie and thought it was amazing. I had honey fried chicken with parmesan truffle fries and it was excellent, especially the pesto mayo dip for the fries. The waitress was quite nice but the bartender was extremely outgoing and came over to chat with is a couple of times. When I asked if I could substitute the truffle fries for the regular honey chicken side fries he said he would take the chef out and flog him if he didn’t. Brian and I talked about my Megaphor (God in my Head) video that I’d recently finished and posted on YouTube and which features him on keyboards. He said he prefers the version with drums but it drowns out his keyboard playing. We also discussed the recent episodes of Doctor Who and agreed on how great Neil Patrick Harris was in the third special. Since I’m taking my last undergraduate course in January Brian and I won’t be getting together again until maybe April. 

            On my way home I stopped at Canadian Tire to look for a new pair of snow boots. I tried on a pair of Woods Avalanche boots and laced them up. They look okay and felt fine and so I bought them for $150.

            By this time it was dark and so I turned on my flashers and headed home but stopped at Freshco on the way there. I bought two packs of blackberries, a pack of raspberries, a pack of blueberries, five bags of red grapes, some bananas, a ham steak, three bags of skim milk, a jug of orange juice, a jug of limeade, and some Full City Dark coffee. 

            I weighed 85 kilos at 18:50. 

            I had a potato with gravy and my last steak while watching season 5, episodes 16 and 17 of Green Acres. 

            The first story is ridiculous because there is suddenly a door in the Douglas home that was never mentioned in five and a half years. It was never opened because it was jammed and Oliver always assumed there was just a small closet on the other side. Lisa suddenly wants it opened after all this time and acts like she’d never seen the door before. Oliver forces the door and falls down into a large basement. In one of the walls of the cellar is the entrance to a cave where they find an old still. Then there is a cave-in and they are trapped. Oliver loosens a pipe that comes down from the sink. When Eb comes in they are able to communicate through the drain of the kitchen sink when it finally dawns on Eb what’s going on. Oliver sends Eb for help but when he gets to Sam’s store he slips on the floor and hits his head, forgetting what happened to Oliver and Lisa. Then Arnold the pig comes into the Douglas home and Lisa is able to tell him to go and get help. He goes to Sam’s store and by picking up and pointing his nose at various items he plays charades with Sam until he understands. Then Eb confirms it when his memory gets back. Sam, Eb and Haney go there with shovels to dig them out. 

            In the second story Oliver leaves to help his old law firm with a case. When he gets there two secretaries are so excited to see him that they kiss him on the mouth and leave lipstick stains. Meanwhile back in Hooterville someone leaves a basket on the Douglas doorstep with a note saying “Take care of Freddie”. Freddie is a puppy. Lisa calls Oliver to tell him but only mentions the basket on the doorstep but not the canine part. Oliver thinks she found a baby and insists she call the sheriff but she refuses to let them put Freddie in jail. So Oliver calls the Pixley sheriff’s office from New York but Hank Kimball answers the phone because the sheriff is on vacation. Hank has been hired to watch and feed the prisoners while he’s away. Oliver tries to explain the situation to Hank but as usual he doesn’t understand. He tells Hank to go and tell Sam Drucker about it. Haney happens to be at Sam’s store when Hank gets there and decides there is profit to be made from this situation and so he goes to Lisa. He tells her that the law states she will have to turn Freddie over to the sheriff unless she places him into the home of a qualified puppy raiser. He offers to buy Freddie for $2, then raise him and train him and when he is old enough to be adopted he will sell him back to her for $900. Lisa calls Oliver in New York to ask if that’s a good deal. Oliver panics and leaves New York immediately only to discover that Freddie is a dog. The misunderstanding caused Oliver to leave a job that would have paid $5000. Oliver says the dog has to go. Lisa cries and eventually Oliver lets him stay. There is no mention of the fact that Lisa came to Green Acres with a little dog named Mignon and it was in the show for the first two seasons at least. 

            This script was based on a story by Searle Kramer, who also wrote the screenplays for Mr. Universe and several Three Stooges films, including Three Missing Links, Saved by the Belle, Quiz Whizz, Grips Grunts and Groans, Back to the Woods, Whoops I’m an Indian, Yes We Have no Bonanza, Calling All Curs, Wee Wee Monsieur, and We Want Our Mummy. He also wrote several Charlie Chase films including Teacher’s Pest.