Janeshia Adams-Ginyard

            On Monday morning I worked out the chords for the second and third verses of “Aux enfants de la chance” (To the Children of Chance) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the second of four sessions and added new songs to the daily sessions. I now play all three of the Jacques Brel songs that I’ve translated and one Boris Vian song every day. 

            I started a new routine of skipping and was very surprised at how difficult it was to coordinate the jumps with the swings of the rope. I tried to do it sixteen times and it was only in the last four that I was able to skip in a row without snagging my feet. It’s better exercise than I thought it would be. 

            I weighed 87.4 kilos before breakfast and it’s been several months since I’ve been that heavy in the morning. 

            I spent a lot of time writing my review of The Marvels, another underrated movie of 2023. Clearly a film that is symbolically about being able to put oneself in the positions of others for the sake of teamwork. I’d say it’s the most interesting of the 2023 superhero films. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos before lunch. That’s still too heavy to track with recent months. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride aiming for downtown but I got a flat tire at Bloor and Bathurst. I walked home from there and started to need to pee really bad on a day when most everything was closed. I made it to Lakeview Lunch at Dundas and Ossington and found it open. They let me use the washroom. The place was packed with young adults in their late teens and early twenties. I was surprised that it was only 17:35 when I got home, which meant that I’d only been walking for about an hour when it felt like two and a half. I assume Metro Cycle next door will be open tomorrow so I’ll take the bike over there. I normally change tubes myself but it takes me usually more than an hour. At my age I’m starting to think that time is more precious than money and so I might have them change it for me for the few extra dollars it will cost. 

            I weighed 86 kilos at 17:45. 

            I got caught up on my journal at 20:25. 

            I reviewed my August 8 song practice performance of “Joanna Dances Lightly”. I played that session with my Kramer electric guitar but the light was not great and the Kramer didn’t sound very good that time. 

            I had a potato with gravy and three slices of roast beef while watching the South Park special Joining the Panderverse. 

            The story opens in a universe where Cartman is a black girl even though her mother is the same white woman as before. But the male Eric we know wakes up and it was all a dream but he thinks it’s a premonition of an infiltration from the multiverse. Meanwhile the oven door at the Marsh household doesn’t work properly. Randy says it’s time his kids learn how to fix things and so he demonstrates for them how to take out their phones and call a handyman. But handymen have become the most wealthy members of the community because since AI came along anyone who works with their hands is in great demand. All the people with college degrees who work with their minds can be replaced by AI. 

            At school Cartman tries to warn the other kids about being replaced by other versions of themselves from the multiverse. Kyle says he’s sick of the multiverse because it’s just something that lazy writers use when they run out of ideas. Suddenly Cartman is covered in a bubble and transported to the Panderverse where everyone he knows is now a non white female. He seems to be the only white male there although all the people he meets talk about is the white male patriarchy. Stan, Kyle and Kenny are all females of ethnic backgrounds other than white but with the same names. At the same time the black female Eric Cartman is transported to his universe.

            Meanwhile at Disney there is a board meeting to address why Disney movies are failing. They don’t understand why making the same movie over and over again and pandering to everyone has stopped working. They say that their president Kathleen Kennedy has changed. One of them suggests that they have opened a doorway to the Panderverse and that their Kathleen Kennedy has been replaced by another. Kathleen Kennedy enters the room and she looks like a female Eric Cartman. Her idea for every movie is to put a chicken in it and make it gay. 

            Meanwhile the black female Eric Cartman tells thee others that they need to buy some equipment to fix this problem. She knows Kyle’s mother’s credit card number, uses it all the time in her universe and it’s the same here. She orders a high speed computer and switches it on but it turns out she just wants to play Baldur’s Gate and isn’t trying to get back to her world. It’s at that point the others know she really is Eric. Black female Eric discovers to her surprise that her saved game in her universe didn’t cross over and so now she has to get back. 

            At the same time in the other universe our universe’s Kathleen Kennedy is looking for Eric Cartman. He thinks she’s behind all of this and so he runs. Kennedy catches up with him and once they talk he realizes that she’s on his side and trying to get back like he is. She was trying to use the pander stone to make pandering movies but it opened up a portal and the other Kathleen came through, sending her to the Panderverse. 

            In our universe the Disney people use a computer to find the alternative Kathleen Kennedy’s match in their universe and find it’s Eric Cartman. They find the black female Eric Cartman and go to the Marsh house where with the pander stone a portal is created to the multiverse through Randy’s oven. Eric and Kathleen see the portal and go through. The black female Cartman falls back into her universe but lands on the female Kenny and kills her. 

            The black female Eric Cartman was played by Janeshia Adams-Ginyard, who is an athlete with multiple records. She was a member of the US National Bobsled team and was half of the very first African American female bobsled team. She has a BA in African American studies. She’s the CEO of Hyphy 4 Christ. She has become a professional wrestler with the ring name of Frost. In her screen entertainment career she started as an extra before breaking into being a stunt woman. She was the stunt double for Danai Gurira in Avengers: Infinity War. She played Nomble in Black Panther.