I weighed 87.1 kilos before breakfast. December 20 was the last morning when I was so easy on the scale.
I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the last of two sessions and it went out of tune during most of my songs. Tomorrow I’ll begin a four session stretch of playing my electric guitars.
Around midday I got ready to go to No Frills. On my way out to lock my bike before bringing my trailer down, my upstairs neighbour Jacob came down the stairs and stopped to give me a dirty look. I was about to descend the stairs while he was at the bottom when he turned to say, “Just so you know, it’s because of you I’m suing the landlord”. I assume this is because of the music that I play on my stereo, which he never asks me to turn down. Whenever I get some rarely clear indication like this that he wants me to turn it down, I lower my top volume. I’ve dropped it from -1 to -7 since he moved in. I gave him my phone number two months ago specifically so he could tell me if my stereo's too loud. It would have taken five minutes over the phone for me to adjust the volume dial until it was at a level that was comfortable for him but he never called me and I can’t read his mind. Later there was a message from the landlady that I should turn it down because Jacob claims he’s going to the Human Rights Commission. It would be interesting to see him try to spin this as a discrimination issue.
When I took my trailer downstairs and tried to attach it to my bike it wouldn’t clasp. I remembered that last week a pin fell out of the side of the clasp and I’d put it aside. I went back upstairs and found it but couldn’t attach it. I took it next door to Metro Cycles and Gordon was able to push it back in with some vice grips. He said if it pops out again I should get some J-B Weld from the hardware store.
At the supermarket I could only find three bags of firm grapes. I also bought two packs of raspberries, several avocadoes, some bananas, a case of 12 mangoes (but I took them out of the case to fit in my trailer bag, which caused some confusion at the checkout counter), a watermelon, Arm and Hammer toothpaste, mouthwash, kitchen bags, plastic wrap, a carton of soymilk, a jug of orange juice, two bags of plantain chips, a can of chick peas, and two cans of kidney beans.
I weighed 88.85 kilos at 15:00. I had a lettuce, tomato and avocado salad with maple Dijon dressing.
I took a siesta at 16:00 and got up at 17:30, too late for a bike ride.
I weighed 88.95 kilos at 17:50, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the evening since last Saturday, though not as heavy as then.
I was caught up in my journal at 19:40.
I tried again to digitize the cassette tape that has failed to record to Audacity for the last few weeks but it still recorded as noise with some of the under-recording coming through faintly. In beginning the timeline didn’t even move but I eventually fixed that. If it doesn’t work tomorrow I’ll try to figure out Ableton again.
I had a lettuce, cucumber, scallion, mushroom, tomato, and avocado salad with maple Dijon dressing while watching season 1, episode 13 of The Carol Burnett Show.
The first skit depicts German actors in Germany trying to make a western cowboy film. Mickey Rooney plays Field Marshal Dillon, Carol plays saloon singer Kitty Marlene, and Harvey Korman plays Wilhelm the Kid. Kitty sings “The Boys in the Back Room” by Frank Loesser, made famous by Marlene Dietrich. Dillon and Wilhelm have a shootout and Kitty gets caught in the middle. She has a long death scene and keeps dropping off but then suddenly sitting half up to sing her song several times until Dillon and Billy shoot several rounds into her to shut her up.
John Davidson sings an annoying sleepy version of “There’s a Kind of a Hush” by Geoff Stephens and Les Reed, made famous by Herman’s Hermits. He then sings “Somewhere” by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim from West Side Story.
Next is a parody of The Dating Game. The three bachelors are a hillbilly played by Davidson, a dumb TV star played by Lyle Waggoner, and a suave Casanova played by Rooney. Carol is dragged in against her will to be the contestant. She immediately wants bachelor #3 and still does after every question. She finally picks him but it turns out she dated him disastrously before.
There’s a long skit that starts in 1917 featuring the Funn Family of Broadway. The mother is Carol, the father Rooney, and the children are Vicki and John. They are playing the Vaudeville circuit and making $17.76 a night. They decide they need a patriotic song to make them stars so the father writes one. It might be original because I can’t find a match for the lyrics but it’s about the spirit of 76. A man comes into their dressing room and it’s the famous producer Ziggy Follfeld. He says he hear the song and there’s a spot in his next Follfield Follies for a patriotic trio. That means one of them has to go and so the father sacrifices himself and walks away. The trio become famous but everywhere they go there is a stage hand named Charlie always there to mop up and it’s really their father Mickie. The son leaves the group to become the president of the United States and the daughter leaves to win five Nobel prizes in medicine. The mother continues on to be a star on her own. Fast forward to present day and the mother is retiring with her final performance. The kids get up to sing with her one more time and Charlie reveals himself to be their father.
John Davidson earned a BA in Theatre Arts. He made his Broadway debut in Foxy in 1964. He was a regular on The Entertainers. He starred in The Kraft Summer Music Hall. He starred in the daytime talk show, The John Davidson Show. He co-starred in the sitcom The Girl With Something Extra. He co-hosted That’s Incredible. He was a regular on The Hollywood Squares and then the host of The New Hollywood Squares from 1986 to 1989. He guest hosted on The Tonight Show 87 times. He recorded 12 studio albums. He’s an atheist.
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