Melissa Stribling

            On Sunday morning I finished posting my translation of "Raccrochez c'est une horreur!” (Stop Calling! You’re a Horror!” by Serge Gainsbourg and memorized the first verse of his “La petite rose” as sung by Nana Mouskouri.

            Around midday I returned to sanding the former exit door in my bedroom and focused on the lower parts of the moulding on both sides. I just used the sandpaper without a block so I could get into the grooves. There may not be that much more to sand before I plaster a few holes and sand again. Maybe I’ll get it painted before the summer is over.

            When I was shaking the plaster dust off the drop sheet onto the roof I chatted with my neighbour Benji. He said that Popeye’s had been scheduled to open on Monday but they couldn’t because they have yet to be inspected.

            For lunch I cut a couple of dots of mould off a fucaccia triangle bun and toasted it for a cheddar, tomato and lettuce sandwich.

            I skipped my exercises and my bike ride again so I could finish writing my Food Bank Adventure.

            For dinner I had a fried egg, two sausages and some warmed up naan with a beer while watching two episodes of The Adventures of William Tell.

            In the first story Tell and the other leaders of the Swiss resistance are having a meeting with Tell’s wife Hedda guarding outside. But Austrian soldiers sneak in and attack. Hedda is wounded but manages to warn the others. William escapes with the badly bleeding Hedda in his arms. He takes her to the castle of the Countess von Markheim where the countess does not hesitate to shelter them and to treat Hedda. But Landburgher Gessler after the attack on the rebels is hungry and decides to impose on the hospitality of the countess. Of course she has to comply but if Gessler were to find that she was sheltering an outlaw she would be stripped of her property. But her servant Paul knows this as well and threatens to expose the countess to Gessler if she does not marry him. Not wanting to endanger William and Hedda she agrees to marry Paul but when Markheim’s handmaiden Tina informs Tell he escapes from the castle and intercepts the priest who has been summoned without knowing why. The priest agrees to lend Tell his robes and so Tell re-enters the castle disguised as a priest. But when Gessler touches the front of Tell’s robe in a friendly gesture he can feel a sword. Tells hood is pulled back and he has to go up against the swords of both Gessler and Paul. Tell kills Paul and disarms Gessler but then the soldiers flood the room and Tell is captured. Gessler orders the men to take Tell to the courtyard and behead him. But Hedda struggles from her bed to the window and just as the soldier is about to swing the sword to cut off Tell’s head she kills him with a crossbow arrow. Just then the gates of the castle fly open and the resistance, informed of Tell's dilemma by the priest, comes storming in to defeat the soldiers. Gessler is forced to sign a document saying he will never again harass the countess.

            The countess was played by Melissa Stribling, who played one of the beautiful victims of Christopher Lee’s Dracula in 1958. The erotic death scene was a first in British cinema because the victim showed pleasure in being murdered.

            In the second story the Swiss people are angry with Tell because they say he’s been robbing the tax collector of their tax money, resulting in Gessler taxing them twice. In this story Tell denies ever having stolen the tax money but in past episodes he’s done that very thing several times. Tell wasn't even around when the money was stolen but several witnesses identify him as the thief they saw but the town counsels plan on outlawing Tell as the Austrians have. Tell needs to find out what is going on and so he forces several of the counsel members to come with him to the next town where taxes are to be collected, which is Tell's own village of Burglen. Meanwhile as Gessler is being transported through the forest he is stopped by a band of thieves led by an almost identical double of William Tell. It is a staged robbery obviously planned by Gessler himself as he whispers to "Tell" "You've kept me waiting". While “Tell” is stealing Gessler's gold, Gessler instructs him to steal the tax money in Altdorf next. But Tell's wife Hedda is nearby and witnesses this theft. She approaches the man she thinks is her husband but one she is up close she knows she is mistaken. By then it is too late as the false Tell realizes who she is and forces her to accompany him to make his disguise more convincing. When Tell arrives with the counsellors and they see that the money has already just been robbed they know that Tell did not steal it, since he was with them. Tell says that the next town is Zubruken and so the false Tell will have to pass through Devil’s Gap to get there. He tells the counsellors to get above the thieves and cause an avalanche to come down on them. But Tell doesn’t realize that he is putting Hedda’s life in danger with this plan. Tell goes to look for Hedda at home and she is not around. Someone says she saw Hedda go off with him and he suddenly realizes the danger she is in. He tries to get a horse from a local farmer but the farmer traps Tell in his barn to collect the reward for his capture. Tell escapes by setting the barn on fire and runs like crazy to catch Hedda and pull her under a canopy of rocks just as the landslide begins. The false Tell also survives the rock slide and the doubles fight. The fake Tell has a knife but when he throws it he misses and Tell grabs it just as the fake Tell jumps him and falls upon the blade.