Shirley Cooklin

            On Thursday morning I translated “Ah! Si javais un franc cinquante” (Oh! If I Had A Buck Fifty) by Boris Vian, which isn't a big deal because there are only five lines and most of them are basically the same but withy different numbers.

            I worked out the chords for the verses of “La ballade de Johnny Jane” by Serge Gainsbourg and started on the chorus.

            Around midday I cleaned as much of the plaster dust that I could out of my vacuum cleaner. I banged, shook and blew compressed air on the filter out on the deck. I held the canister upside down and slapped it while it snowed on the roof.

            I returned to sanding the former exit door in the bedroom. There’s not much more to do on the main part of the door but the lower parts of the frame are going to take several sessions to smooth down. This time I was smart and swept up most of the plaster dust before vacuuming. There was a big pile of plaster in the dust pan and so I could see why the machine got knocked unconscious by it last time. The vacuum has lost quite a bit of suction but it still functions.

            I had cherries and yogourt with honey for lunch. I’d actually planned on having a salad but I forgot.

            In the afternoon I skipped my exercises and took an early bike ride so I would have time to stop at the supermarket on my way back.

            The preacher in front of the Eaton’s Centre was talking about being “cast away from the lord forever and ever!” Is the extra "ever" necessary? Just how much time is added onto eternity with that addition?

            At Queen and Bay the tent belonging to the homeless guy had all of his stuff strewn on the sidewalk and all there was inside the tent was a big empty box. He was nowhere in sight. It's amazing that he ever fit all of those things inside the tent.

            At Freshco I bought three bags of cherries; a plastic basket of peaches; a watermelon; a pack of breakfast sausages; a hunk of two year old cheddar; some raspberry skyr; and a spatula. I'd just bought a spatula a couple of weeks ago but it’s curved at the sides and it makes it difficult to pick up a whole egg. The only alternative they had is flat with holes in it but the handle is almost vertical rather than in line with the business end. The one I’d had for years was metal and much better but it broke. I'll keep looking but meanwhile I needed one I could live with.

            I sprinkled nine chicken drumsticks with seasoned salt and cayenne and grilled them in the oven. I had two with squash and gravy while watching two episodes of The Adventures of Sir Lancelot on YouTube.

            In the first story Lady Lilith inherited Goodhue Castle when she was fourteen and has managed it better than most men and turned it into a prosperous estate. The law however states that no estate can be in the ownership of a woman. Sir Lionis is the next male heir of Lilith’s father, although it’s not said how close a cousin he is. King Arthur declares that Lionis can lay claim to Castle Goodhue but adds that he wants it done without bloodshed and so he sends Sir Lancelot with him to make sure the transition is smooth. But when they arrive at the castle Lionis dumps water on them. When they try to batter down the door she opens it and they stumble into the courtyard pond, getting drenched. Suddenly Lilith becomes charming and welcomes them. She shows that there is very little that she does not do well. Lancelot’s squire Brian develops a major crush on her. Then she falls for Lancelot. He tries to discourage her by behaving like an oaf but it charms her all the more. Finally Lancelot has to do his duty and help drive Lilith out. She leaves but once outside the castle she blows the challenge horn to face Lionis in mortal combat over possession of the castle. She says that if he refuses to fight he forfeits his right to the castle. He comes out with his sword to face her. Lancelot says, “This has gone on long enough" and slings Lilith over his shoulder to carry her away but when Lionis sees this he says for him to unhand her and challenges Lancelot. Lancelot wins but then Lilith runs to Lionis to comfort him and they kiss. So the cousins will marry and the problem will be resolved.

            Lilith was played by Shirley Cooklin, who appeared in the Doctor Who episode "Tomb of the Cybermen" and was married to peter Bryant who produced Doctor Who from 1967-1969. She was also a writer whose book, “Screen Two: Knockback: Part Two" was televised by the BBC.

            The second story features the return of the greedy King Marhaus and his good sister Princess Angela. Across the river from Marhaus’s kingdom is free land belonging to the people of the village of Pontifax. The only bridge over the river is between Pontifax and Mercia and the treaty that keeps Pontifax free states that the bridge must never be obstructed. Marhaus wants to force the villagers to breach the treaty so he can take over their lands. He pays a villager named Caradauc to block the bridge with large stones. Brian reports this after seeing one of Marhaus’s knights beating a crippled old man. Lancelot is sent to investigate. The next day Caradauc blocks the bridge again, this time by placing the replica of a hanged man in the middle with a stuffed black cock above and a sign declaring the bridge cursed. At first the villagers are frightened but Princess Angela shows them there is no curse by safely crossing the bridge. When Lancelot arrives he and Angela work together to investigate and interview the villagers. Brian is told to watch for suspicious people outside. When Caradauc leaves Brian follows him. When Angela leaves she is abducted and locked in a peasant’s hut with the intention of blaming it on the villagers. But Brian sees this and goes back to Lancelot, who comes to rescue her. Meanwhile Marhaus and his men are going to try to cross the bridge and claim the free lands but Brian, following Lancelot’s instructions has worked with the villagers to barricade the bridge and top fight the soldiers off by throwing rocks. Lancelot has a final battle with Marhaus, defeats him and forces him to swear to respect the treaty. Lady Angela leaves with Lancelot to live in Camelot.