Television

            On Friday morning I continued editing “Bourré de complexes" (Buried in Complexes) by Boris Vian on my Christian’s Translations blog.

            I worked on memorizing the fourth and fifth verses of “La ballade de Johnny Jane” by Serge Gainsbourg but I didn't quite nail them.

            I was able to hold and strum an A chord on the guitar a few times without dulling any strings. There are two songs that I do every morning in which the A chord is prominent and so after I play them I spend a few seconds just trying to hold and play that chord.

            I got a general email from my Introduction to Canadian Literature professor indicating that all our classes will be online this term. It turns out that she’s the same person I've contacted several times by email because she is in charge of receiving submissions for the Massey College writer in residence seminars. Once when I submitted some poetry she thought that it was prose and was going to turn it down. She was insulted when I suggested that she have a poet do the assessment.

            The morning got away from me while looking at pictures and so after shaving, showering and doing the dishes I didn’t have time to work on my floor cleaning project.

            I had a sausage and lettuce sandwich for lunch with a dressing made from mayonnaise and ketchup.

            In the afternoon I did my exercises while listening to Amos and Andy. In this story Kingfish gets a job picking up and delivering television sets but after one day he finds it too hard and so he tricks Andy into doing most of the work for him. Andy comes to Kingfish’s office at the lodge and sees a sign on the door that reads, “Stevens School of Radio and Television. Learn Radio, and TV and Video." Kingfish explains that he is training people for careers in radio and television. Andy ask what “video” is and Kingfish says it's television with frequency modification. He tells Andy that he would start on the ground floor by picking up and delivering television sets he adds that this is exactly how Dr Lee DeForest, the inventor of television got started. In 1921 he was going around with a horse and wagon selling television sets when there weren’t even any television stations yet. So Andy starts working with Kingfish. After making a delivery Kingfish tells Andy to call the office to find out if there’s a pick-up. Andy is told by the boss that there is a pick-up and he gives him the address. While Andy is trying to remember the address he runs into an attractive waitress he knows and she gives him her number. He gets her number mixed up with the address and they end up picking up a big and very combination television, radio and record player that they aren’t supposed to. When they first try to back it out of the room they back themselves into a closet and the door locks them inside. Kingfish has to break down the door and then while they are taking the console down the stairs he slips and the television ends up in little pieces. Kingfish decides to blame it on Andy and Andy spends a couple of nights in jail for theft. Finally the owner of the TV drops the charges when Andy pays $300 for the set. Kingfish comes home and finds that Andy has sold Sapphire a television for $300.

            But Lee DeForest invented radio, not television, but radio was crucial to the transmission of the images.

            I took a bike ride and saw that they’ve drawn the bicycle symbols to indicate the eastbound bike lane. The lines have just been drawn for the westbound and so unlike the day before cyclist were not making the eastbound a two way lane. There were no posts up and so some of the car drivers were straddling the edge of the bike lane. I rode to Yonge and then south. At Gerrard there is a right turn lane and so I waited at the light on the right side of the middle lane. Suddenly a big white car’s tires came dangerously close to my left foot and then he began honking his horn and gesturing that I should move over. I told him he should get behind me and that he should learn the rules of the road.

            That evening my landlord was in my building and so I told him that he hadn’t given me a receipt for the last five months. He said that I should remind him and I said that he doesn't have to remind me to pay the rent so I shouldn’t have to remind him to give me a receipt. He said he has a lot of things to think about and not just me. I said it’s his responsibility. He started changing the subject and talking about my “behaviour" with the neighbours, referring to the complaint about my morning song practice. I told him to stay on topic. Finally he said he’d start giving me email receipts and later brought me the five receipts he owed me.

            I had a potato, a sautéed orange pepper, two chicken drumsticks and a little gravy for dinner while watching episodes fifteen and sixteen of The Adventures of Sir Lancelot. The two episodes hadn’t downloaded yet and so I had to find them online.

            In the first story Arthur and his knights are preparing for battle against an invasion of six hundred Danes but Merlin is concerned about the abbey where he was educated being left unguarded. The monks are currently translating an important work by Archimedes. Merlin, Lancelot and Brian go to protect the abbey in case the Danes choose to attack there. Merlin’s old teacher shows him the book by Archimedes and says that though arte translating it they don't understand it. Merlin however does understand it and is particularly interested in Archimedes's ideas about the lever. Meanwhile while running an errand outside of the abbey Brian sees a troop of Danes approaching and runs back to warn Lancelot. Lancelot mounts several flags on the side of a ladder and has the monks carry it back and forth along the abbey wall while shouting to give the appearance and sound of soldiers marching back and forth and prepared for war. Merlin sees a gigantic boulder above the mountain beside the road to the abbey and he decides to build the lever that Archimedes describes. While he is doing that Lancelot goes out with a flag of truce with the plan to delay the approach of the Danes. He and the Danish leader parlay for a while and ultimately he is captured and tied up but he has served his purpose as the lever is ready. A crank is turned and the lever tips the boulder loose so it crashes down on the approaching Danes and the abbey is saved.

            The sixteenth episode seems to be the beginning of the second season, as there is a different intro and the show is suddenly in colour. In the story King Arthur’s crown jewels, including the ruby of Radnor are being prepared to be placed on public display for the traditional three days a year. But the treasurer, Arthur’s cousin Lord Everard turns out to be a traitor and has arranged for his own men to tunnel under the castle and into the treasury to steal the jewels. Everard tells Arthur that while the thieves were beating him they said they would be heading south and so Arthur sends his knights in that direction even as Everard has the jewels taken north to his own castle. Meanwhile Lancelot’s squire Brian is being tutored by Merlin but he resists the wise man’s efforts to teach him to read and write and he would rather play pranks such as putting goldfish in Merlin’s wash basin and shooting him with his pea shooter. Brian is punished by being given the task of walking two days to Coventry to deliver to the castle there two of Merlin’s carrier pigeons. On the way Brian sees a serf driving a cart along the road and he sneaks onto the back to ride instead of walk. Shortly however Everard’s two men that stole the jewels stop the cart and beat up the driver. Brian hides under the other cargo while the men put the chest in the back and then begin driving the cart. Brian sneaks a look in the chest and discovers the crown jewels. He attaches a small ruby to one of the pigeons and sends it back to Merlin. Since Brian was sent north then Merlin realizes the jewels have not gone south and so Arthur recalls his knights. He then takes a stick from the back of the cart knocks out both of Everard’s men. He begins driving the cart himself until he is relieved to see Everard on the road. He stops to tell him that he has found the jewels just as Everard men recover and their master tells them to tie Brian up. Brian is thrown in a tower cell with a man in rags who says he will hang the next day. Brian still has one of Merlin’s pigeons inside his vest but now he regrets that he can't read or write. The other prisoner shows him the ivy growing outside his cell and tells him it is unique to that area. Brian puts and ivy leaf and one of his buttons into the bird's leg sack and sends it to Merlin. Merlin looks the leaf up in a book and sees that the ivy grows just eight leagues (5.5 km) north of Dunsmuir Hill. Since that is the area where Everard Castle is located Lancelot goes there. Everard doesn’t give Lancelot any reason to suspect him and so he leaves but as he is heading for his horse he is hit in the neck with a projectile from Brian’s pea shooter. Lancelot returns to the castle and Everard calls his men. Lancelot fights them off and releases Brian and his cell mate. The other prisoner is a good fighter and helps Lancelot as they make their way to the treasure. They find that Everard has taken the ruby of Radnor. Lancelot jumps him from the castle wall as he tries to ride out of the gate and the ruby is recovered.