Allan Melvin

            On Tuesday morning I almost had all the chords worked out for “Mozart avec nous” (Mozart Is With Us) by Boris Vian. The last line begins on a high note and so I have to figure which chord will match it. 

            I finished working out the chords for “Classée X" (Rated X) by Serge Gainsbourg. I ran through it in French and English and then uploaded it to Christian’s Translations for editing before blog publication. 

            I took a siesta from noon to 13:30.

            I had guacamole with plantain chips for lunch. 

            I took a bike ride to Ossington and Bloor in the early afternoon. 

            When I got back I did a bit of research on the words used in Christina Rossetti’s poem "Goblin Market". But at 17:30 I got tired again and decided to take a one hour siesta. 

           I ended up sleeping for two and a quarter hours. When I woke it was time to make dinner. 

           I used the drippings I’d saved from chicken that I'd roasted. I skimmed the fat off the top of the liquid and used it to sauté five small onions, a bunch of garlic and the mushrooms that I’d bought last week. I put the rest of the chicken water in and added the broccoli I'd bought last week as well. There was quite a bit of residual curry paste in the drippings from what I had rubbed over the chicken and so it made for a pretty spicy and tasty soup. I had one and a half bowls of the soup with piri piri sauce while watching Andy Griffith. 

           This story begins with Barney catching a couple of tough farmers selling their produce by the side of the road within the Mayberry city limits. Barney tells them to pack their truck and move along but the men don’t see Barney as much of a threat and they chase him away. Barney comes back to the office feeling dejected but he won’t tell Andy why. Andy goes out and also happens to come across the farmers. He as well tells them to move along. They try the same thing with Andy that they did with Barney but Andy stands up to them and they agree that this one isn’t fooling and they back down. As they are packing up Andy asks what they mean by “not this one”. They admit that they chased his deputy away and then Andy tells them they’ve potentially caused themselves a lot of trouble. He explains to them that running away is part of a game Barney plays when he’s riled. He tells them that Barney is known as “The Beast” and “Crazy Gun Barney” and says that if they aren’t packed up before Barney gets back they might be in danger. He says that if Barney gets out of the car, clears his throat, tugs at his tie and taps his holster, they’d better run. Andy goes back to the office and tells Barney that there are some farmers selling illegally by the side of the road and for him to take care of it. Barney is reluctant but Andy says it’s an order. When Barney gets there he goes through his series of nervous ticks of coughing, tugging his tie and tapping his gun. When the farmers see this they panic and hightail it out of there. But when they stop at a gas station they hear Floyd and a bunch of other locals joking about Barney not being very tough. The farmers realize they’ve been tricked and tell Floyd to tell Barney they are going back to their spot and want him for a customer. When Floyd relays this message Andy heads out to confront the farmers but Barney says he wants to come along. Before the farmers are in sight Barney asks Andy to get out because he wants to do it alone. Barney stands up to the farmers as they tower over him. He says they are bigger than him but his badge is bigger than they are and they finally back down and leave. 

            One of the farmers was played by Allan Melvin, who started out in radio and when he moved into television was a semi-regular on The Phil Silvers Show as Corporal Henshaw, Gomer Pyle as Sergeant Hacker, The Brady Bunch as Alice’s boyfriend and All In the Family as Archie’s best friend. He was renowned for his mimicking ability and did a lot of voice work for animated shows, including the voice of Magilla Gorilla.