Joe Turkel

            On Sunday morning I worked out the chords for most of the first verse of "O Canada." All the verses should be the same but I may want to put in some instrumental parts. 

            I weighed 90.5 kilos before breakfast. It must have been the meat and cheese pizza I'd had the night before that knocked up my weight. 

            In the late morning I put a chair out on the roof in the sun and took the two remaining broken off parts of my planter, the tube of construction glue, a cloth and some paper towel outside. When I glued the first two pieces it was indoors and it gave me a bit of a headache so I thought I'd play it safe and do it in the fresh air. I glued the two pieces and held them together but the small piece fell off a few times when I shifted position to wipe up the excess glue. I pressed it for fifteen minutes and it stayed in place.

            Next I took the image of the letter "om"that I made from the photo of the number three on my door. I taped it to a board and used an exacto knife to cut the stencil that I plan to use to spray paint the image on my door. I worked very slowly because I didn't want to make a mistake. It took me about 45 minutes to make a hole in the paper that's the shape of "om. Tomorrow I plan on gluing the rim back onto my planter and then spray painting the symbol on my door. First though I'll have to remove the screwed in number three and then wash the door a bit. I see from YouTube that I need to buy a spray adhesive for the back of the stencil so it will stay down firmly on all sides and the spray paint goes on without bleeding underneath. 

            I weighed 90 kilos before lunch. I had a toasted Montreal style bagel topped with cream cheese, five year old cheddar and sliced tomato, with a glass of lemonade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride to Yonge and Bloor. There were lots of people out, none of them were social distancing and a lot fewer were wearing masks. I weighed 89.7 kilos when I got back.

            I talked briefly with Benji in the hall. He joked about going out to get a tan. I said I thought dark skinned people can sunburn and he said not in Canada. He said back in Guyana he could get a sunburn between 11:00 and 13:00 but the sun is too slanted in Canada. 

            I worked on my poem series "My Blood in a Bug." 

            I edited the music video I'm making of my song "Instructions For Electroshock Therapy" so that now the concert video and the studio audio are back in sync at the beginning of the vocal. I had inserted another video I'd made of lightning, snakes and animated electrical cords into the beginning and that threw them out of sync by about 38 seconds. I deleted parts of the video that don't fit with the audio. Next I have to add some more clips of the cords I animated before the vocal and that will throw it out of sync again for a while until I remove some more of the unnecessary parts of the concert video. 

            I worked some more on colourizing the bricks in a the background of the skateboarder I photographed in the 80s. 

            I heated four samosas and four mini quiches and had them with a beer while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. 

            In the first story two bank robbers are on the loose and in the Mayberry area. Andy is trying to help the state police to track them down. Meanwhile Howard Sprague is hanging around and Otis staggers in for his weekly stay holding a bottle. Andy takes his bottle away and puts him in a cell. In the morning when Otis is sober he says he thinks the crooks might be holed up in the old Carson shack because he went up there to find some booze he'd been hiding and he saw strangers with rifles. Andy goes up there but while approaching the cabin he trips over Otis's stash and is captured. When Andy doesn't come back Otis and Howard get worried and decide to go looking for him. Howard goes to get his car while Otis prepares to load the rifles. But while looking for bullets Otis finds his bottle and so when Howard comes back Otis is drunk. Since Otis is the only one who knows where the Carson shack is he has to come along but when they get there Howard makes him wait in the car. Meanwhile at the cabin one of the robbers goes out to chop firewood and Andy gets free to capture the other. But when Andy tries to escape he trips over Howard and they are both captured. They are ties in chairs with the window behind them. Otis shows up at the window and then loses consciousness. Andy and Howard ask for glasses of water and secretly throw them at Otis. Finally he wakes up and stumbles around. One of the crooks goes out to check on the noise and Otis hits him over the head with his bottle. Andy gets free and captures the other one. 

            The crook named Fred was played by Joe Turkel, who played the ghost bartender in The Shining and Dr Tyrell, the inventor of the replicants in Blade Runner. 

            The robber named Larry was played by Charles Dierkop, who played Detective Pete Royster on Policewoman. 

            This was the last appearance of Hal Smith as Otis. 

            In the second story Andy, Helen, Floyd, Howard and Goober are all taking an adult education course in US history. Goober has things to say on the matter but whenever he tries to speak he becomes tongue tied. He decides it's not for him and takes a three week hunting trip. He forgets to take his razor and comes back with a beard. Everyone comments that he looks like an intellectual. Floyd refuses top shave it off because it's too beautiful, but he trims it, which heightens the appearance of intelligence. Goober begins to dominate the history class and starts to drive his friends nuts by always wanting to elaborate on some thought he has. Finally Andy blows up at him and tells him a beard doesn't make him smarter. Goober shaves it off and in history class he finds a balance between speaking opinions and knowing it all. 

            Edna, one of the adult students, was played by Christine Burke, who starred in The Capital Hill Girls. She helped to save the Moreton Bay fig trees in Santa Monica.

May 31, 1991: There were two voluptuous women moving into the same building so after we finished our job we helped them unload

Thirty years ago today

            On Friday I misjudged the time it would take me to get to the shop from Nancy's parents' place so when I got to Keele and Steeles and saw I was running late I called Wayne. he said Dave would pick me up where I was so I got a coffee and waited. After he arrived we went to Mississauga and picked up Calvin there. Calvin and I had an argument about the way I dressed. 

            We moved a one bedroom apartment but at the other end we had to wait to unload while they steam cleaned the new apartment.

            There were a couple of voluptuous women moving into the same building so after we finished our job and got $20 tips, we helped the young ladies unload their truck. 

            I picked up my cheque at the shop and cashed it at Centrepoint. Then I bought a new Metropass because my old one was torn to shit.

Basilicata Sauce

            On Saturday morning I turned the heat off at 6:00 but it kept on blasting. I re-switched it off several times but it didn't feel like it went off until 8:00. 

            I searched for the chords for "O Canada" and transcribed the first four versions I found. The very first one seems to work best for me. I worked them out for the first line and might have them laid out for all four verses on Sunday. 

            I weighed 89 kilos before breakfast. I had the last of the candied smoked salmon with cream cheese on a toasted Montreal style bagel. 

            In the late morning I took a bike ride. I wore shorts even though it was almost too cold, but I also wore my long sleeved shirt unbuttoned. My upper body gets cooler on a bike ride than my legs. In some places in front of restaurants along the Bloor bike lane they've put wheel chair ramps, I assume in preparation for the first phase of lifting the lockdown. Perhaps on those sections of the bike lane they plan to create temporary patios because there are cones blocking those sections now. When the ramps were first put in there was no blockage, but I suspect some cyclists might have wiped out while going over them crossways. 

            When I got back I stopped at home to pee and then went out to the supermarket. There no grapes or cherries at No Frills and so I just got three mangoes, orange juice and Greek yogourt.

            After taking my groceries home I went back out and walked over to Fullworth to buy some CR2032 batteries that I use mostly for my guitar tuner but also a few other things. I bought all ten of the last ones they had. Then I went to the liquor store and bought a six-pack of Creemore with the gift card that Shankar had given me on my birthday. I didn't know how much was on it until the cashier told me it was $20, so I still have $2 and change left. 

            I weighed 88.9 kilos before lunch. I had the Italian pasta salad that I'd bought last week at Freshco, plus a couple of sliced tomatoes and the rest of my lime aid. 

            I took a siesta and slept an hour and a quarter longer than usual. 

            I weighed 89 kilos at 18:00. 

            I made pizza on a slice of Bavarian sandwich bread with Basilicata sauce, a chopped up beef burger and slices of old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. 

            In the first story the first day of fishing season is approaching and a lot of Mayberry residents are excited. They are talking once again of the possibility of catching Old Sam, which is the only silver carp in the lake and many of the fishermen have stories of almost catching the big fish. Howard Sprague approaches Floyd and Goober and asks if he can come along but they make excuses but it's really because they don't want a newbie splashing around and scaring away the fish. Andy feels the same way but he's too polite to turn Howard down. Howard buys all the state of the art equipment, including a thermometer and a depth measurer. When they are fishing Andy has to rescue Howard several times after getting his hook caught in the trees and his pants. But then suddenly while wading in the lake Howard catches something and it turns out to be Old Sam. Howard puts it in a tank to show to everyone and then the Raleigh Aquarium asks him to donate it. Everyone is depressed about losing Old Sam but Howard doesn't realize that until he takes Opie up to Raleigh to see Old Sam. Finally Howard retrieves the fish and they release Old Sam back into the lake, making everyone very happy. 

            In the second story the annual flower show is approaching which includes a hybrid rose competition. Clara Edwards always wins but this year Bee is entering a rose that she has bred. There is some rivalry between Bee and Clara that intrudes upon their long standing friendship. When Bee's rose blooms it is pink and white and beautiful and Bee is sure she will win. Pictures are taken. But later Opie is playing catch with a football and it ends up breaking and ruining Bee's rose. She is very sad but holds her head up and attends the flower show anyway. Just before the rose winner is announced Opie walks in and gives Bee a photo he had developed of her rose. Clara is behind Bee and sees the picture. The rose winner again is Clara but she stands up and shows everyone the picture of Bee's rose and declares that hers couldn't have possibly won against it. She puts the blue ribbon on the picture of Bee's rose.

May 30, 1991: It was the longest house move I'd ever been on but I got a case of beer as a tip

Thirty years ago today

            On Thursday I had to be at Don Mills and Steeles for 10:00. I had trouble finding the street but then I saw Bill and Calvin coming in the truck. It took us six hours to load and then we went for lunch. I had a carton of Haagen Dazs and fresh orange juice. I called Nancy and she asked me to buy some Ivory Snow. We finished the job at 11:30 and it was one of the longest house moves I'd ever been on, but we each got a case of twelve beers for a tip. I got a ride to Steeles and caught the bus back to Nancy's parents' place. Nancy was awake, her sister Susan was on the phone and the baby was sleeping. I was thinking of naming her "Christian." I managed to clean myself a bit and after drinking two 7-Ups I pretty much went straight to bed.

Jack Nicholson

            On Friday morning the power went off while I was working on translating "Le java des chaussettes à clous" (The Dance of the Studded Stockings) by Boris Vian. It seems I lost everything that I'd written even though Open Office said that it had recovered the document. 

            I worked on memorizing the final verse of the original French "O Canada" but hadn't nailed it before song practice. Afterwards though I returned to it for ten minutes and finally learned the whole song. Next I'll search for the chords. 

            I was able to open the document of the eighth year of my daily journal in Word for the first time in three days. I wrote about three paragraphs recounting the events from Thursday evening until the end of the day. I copied what I'd written to paste in Open Office just in case Word screwed up again. It did screw up gain even so much so that it didn't even copy what I'd written. I had to type it all up again later in Open Office. Word 2000 is officially dead for all intents and purposes. It's useless to me now in its current state. I prefer Word to Open Office because I'm used to it but unless I get an updated version I'll have to stick with Open Office. Because of the problems with Word I was behind my usual schedule all day. 

            I weighed 89 kilos before breakfast. 

            In the late morning I went out with an umbrella into the heavy rain to the hardware store. I wore my hoody and my leather jacket but also shorts and the rain on my legs was like ice water. There was only one old lady ahead of me at Home Hardware but she took a long time. I was looking for some glue that I could use to put the three broken pieces back together of the rim of the planter in which I planted the dragon tree. It's been broken for years but since I planted the tree yesterday it seemed appropriate to fix it now. The guy showed me three tubes of glue and when I asked which he would recommend he said the LePage Construction Glue. The cashier said that my pot is terra cotta and she makes figures with it, using that same kind of glue. I commented that since it's a gloomy day it's a good day for gluing stuff. 

            When I got home I glued two of the pieces of the rim together and pressed them together while watching half of an old instalment of Last Week Tonight on Twitter. I'll probably glue the third piece on to fit with the other two next and then on another day I'll finish by attaching the whole thing back onto the planter. There are a couple of cups with broken handles that I've saved and so while I'm on a roll I might as well glue those back together as well. 

            I weighed 89 kilos before lunch. I had potato chips with salsa and yogourt and a glass of grapefruit juice. 

            In the afternoon it was still raining and so I didn't take a bike ride. Instead I did some hip exercises while listening to season five, episode two of The Goon Show: The Lost Gold Mine of Charlotte: 

Greenslade: This week, for one month only, we give you Death in the Desert. The lost gold mine was alleged to have been found by a hybrid lunatic French miner, Andrea Charlotte, who died without telling where it was. 

Harry Seagoon: I knew where the lost gold mine was. You see Charlotte left behind a map. A map I happened to find in an ordinary tin of meat loaf salad. Obtainable from all good grocers. 

Milligan: Neddie Seagoon is bound for the Americas, with a treasure map in his ankle pocket.

Grytpype: I met Neddie Seagoon onboard my ship the SS Filthmuck. Registered at Lloyds as a dustbin.

Seagoon: Yes, as it was a cattle boat, I disguised myself as a steer, and travelled steerage. 

Grytpype: Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Hercules Grytpype-Thynne. Captain of this noble ship.

Seagoon: I'm on my way to America. 

Grytpype: What a coincidence, so is the ship. Ah, listen, tonight I'm having a small card party in my cabin. 

Seagoon: I love playing with small cards. 

FX: [Door opens] 

Grytpype: Come in matey. Neddie, this is Count Moriarty, the famous French Morris dancer.

Seagoon: Un deux trois quatre cinq six allez oops olé! 

Grytpype: Splendid Neddie. Who said Latin was a dead language. 

Seagoon: Fred. 

Grytpype: Who's Fred? 

Seagoon: He's the man who said 'Latin was a dead language'. 

Grytpype: Gin-Rummy, ten pounds a point. 

Seagoon: I'm sorry I haven't much money on me. 

Moriarty: Oh, don't worry, we'll take an IOU. 

Seagoon: I haven't any IOUs either. 

Grytpype: We'll lend you one. 

Moriarty: Please gentlemen place your bets, pick up your cards. 

Seagoon: Lets see what kind of a hand I've got, hmm hmm. Four fingers and one thumb. 

Grytpype: There, thruppence please.

Seagoon: Well, that's cleared me out. Well here's my IOU for three pence. Thank you for everything... Goodnight! 

Grytpype: Moriarty. Look what he's written his IOU on. 

Moriarty: A treasure map! 

Grytpype: Yeessss. This is the map of Andrea Charlotte's mine. 

FX: [Great tearing sound] 

Grytpype: There, half for you, half for me. Now we can't twist each other, ayy, partner? 

Moriarty: As soon as we reach America, we must make for the lost gold mine. 

Seagoon: When we docked in New Orleans, I'd not discovered the loss of the map. Finally I decided to discover the loss of the map! Uh, the card game, of course! Moriarty and the Captain, I must follow them. Accompanied by that great Fred-Indian mouth organist, Max Geldray. 

Max Geldray: [Musical interlude] 

Milligan: Following Count Moriarty and Captain Hercules Grytpype-Thynne, led Neddie Seagoon to the deserted mining village of San-Ferry Anne. Deep in the heart of Arizona desert, there he sought shelter for the night, and himself. 

Greenslade: That night in the dusty bedroom, Neddie Seagoon sat brooding. 

Bloodnok: I say, I say you midget. Can't you stop that naughty chicken noise? 

Seagoon: Who are you sir? 

Bloodnok: Bloodnok's the name. Major Dennis Bloodnok, I'm prospecting for gold. 

Seagoon: Oh, are you a miner? 

Bloodnok: No I'm sixty five.

Seagoon: Well, I'm a bit of a miner. 

Bloodnok: Really? For a moment I thought you were Fred. 

Seagoon: Who's Fred? 

Bloodnok: He's the fella who said 'Latin was a dead language'. 

Seagoon: I'm here to look for the lost mine of Charlotte. Two crooks, Count Moriarty and Captain Grytpype-Thynne have the map. 

Bloodnok: Great crongolers of steaming thund, they went through this town just three hours ago.

Seagoon: What? If we hurry we can catch them up - come on! They find Count Moriarty buried up to his neck in the sand. 

Moriarty: That, that swine Grytpype-Thynne, he tied me up, slapped me in chains, buried me up to my neck in the sand when I wasn't looking. 

Seagoon: I'm going to leave you to die. 

Bloodnok: Oh no Seagoon, the man might be attacked by soaking wet elephants. 

Seagoon: What!? The nearest elephants are across the Atlantic? 

Bloodnok: How do you think they get soaking wet? 

Moriarty: Oh, mercy, mercy. Now, I will make a deal with you. You see, I still have half the treasure map. 

Seagoon: He's telling the truth. Half the map, and the half that matters. It's the last mile that leads the gold mine. That means Grytpype-Thynne can only get half way! 

Bloodnok: Give me that map. 

FX: [Tearing sounds] 

Bloodnok: There half each, now we're partners. 

Seagoon: Right, now which way did Grytpype-Thynne go? 

Moriarty: I will tell you if you each give me a portion of the map. 

FX: [Tearing] 

Greenslade: Here's an exact tally of the present distribution: Captain Hercules Grytpype-Thynne - one half; Major Bloodnok - one quarter less one eight given to Count Moriarty; Neddie Seagoon - one quarter less one eighth given to Moriarty; Moriarty - one quarter. Henry Crun - nil. 

Milligan: Meantime ten miles ahead in the blistering desert, Grytpype-Thynne plods the weary desert and makes a discovery. 

Grytpype: Oh, what a fool I am, this half of the map only leads me up to this point, dash it. Lost in this desert and five hundred miles from the nearest human being.

Eccles: Pardon me! Captain Grytpype-Thynne? Letter for you. 

Grytpype: [Tearing open of envelope] Dear sir, please give the bearer of this letter a glass of water. Who wrote this? 

Eccles: I did. I'm thirsty. 

Grytpype: Ohhh, where do you come from? 

Eccles: I'm mad Dan Eccles and I live in the lost gold mine of Charlotte. 

Grytpype: How is it that you've never taken the gold back to town and cashed in on it? 

Eccles: I don't know my way back to the town. I only know my way - from the mine to here. 

Grytpype: Well, I have a map that leads from here to the town. 

Eccles: If you give me a bit of the map, I'll show you the way to the mine! 

FX: [Tearing] 

Grytpype (aside): Little does this poor goon know that the moment he shows me the gold mine, it's curtains for him. 

Eccles (aside): Little does he know that I've already got some curtains. And how's your old dad?

Grytpype: He hasn't written since he died. 

Greenslade: Meantime from the compost heap of a wealth Hittite dustman, we hear the sound of Ray Ellington and his Quartet of four. 

Ray Ellington and His Quartet: [Musical interlude] 

Bloodnok: Ohh, then leave me lads, I'm done for. Just leave me here to die in peace. With me home perm kit and one copy of the dreadful disclosures of Maria Monk (Maria Monk (June 27, 1816 – summer of 1849) was a Canadian woman whose book Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk, or, The Hidden Secrets of a Nun’s Life in a Convent Exposed (1836) claimed to expose systematic sexual abuse of nuns and infanticide of the resulting children by Catholic priests in her convent in Montreal).

Seagoon: Very well Bloodnok, if you die I'll leave you this shovel to bury yourself with. 

Bloodnok: Ohhh, there they go. 

Grams: [Violin under:] 

Bloodnok: Leaving old Bloodnok to die in the desert. I don't want to die, I'm too old for that. Still, here I am alone in the desert, alone save for the sand, the cactus, and that Red-Indian who insists on playing that blasted violin! 

Chief (Secombe): Me Chief Worri Guts. 

Bloodnok: This Indian goon might save the day. If you carry me on back and catch up with my friends, me give you bit of treasure map. 

FX: [Tearing] 

Greenslade: Present map holdings: Captain Grytpype-Thynne - one forth; Mad Dan Eccles - one forth; Count Moriarty - one forth; Neddie Seagoon - one eighth; Major Bloodnok - one sixteenth; Chief Worri Guts - one sixteenth; Henry Crun - nil. 

Seagoon: Fifty miles further on, Moriarty and I made a discovery. 

Moriarty: Look - at this juncture Grytpype-Thynne's footsteps are joined by another set. See, they move around the cactus bush six paces. Then forward ten paces over here. And in a straight line twenty paces. What can they have been doing? 

Seagoon: The fox-trot. Our only chance would be the quick step. 

Moriarty: I can only tango. 

Seagoon: Curse. Is there no one who can help us? 

Bluebottle: I heard you call me my capi-tan. I heard you call me. Springs from behind cactus bush, pauses for audience applause. 

Seagoon: Who are you? 

Bluebottle: I am junior desert ranger Bluebottle. Gives secret sign known only to East-Acton boys club. Wipe nose on handkerchief made from tail of dads shirt. 

Seagoon: Have you seen a naval man pass this way?

Bluebottle: Yeeeess, yee-ess... Notice long dramatic pause before giving answer. 

Seagoon: Could you lead us to the sea-faring man? 

Bluebottle: Yes, but at a price. I want to have portions of the map. 

FX: [Tearing]

Bluebottle: Oh ho hoy oy. I am drunk with the power of the map portions. These will guarantee me untold riches. I shall have my own toothbrush, my own tooth. And a ball pointed pen with a real pointed ball! OK, follow me. 

Grytpype: We've been walking for days. How much further is it?

Eccles: Oh, a mile, two, three. All depends on the distance you know. 

Grytpype: What've you stopped for? 

Eccles: Well, I think I'll have a swim in my old marble swimming pool. Jeeves? 

Grytpype: Poor fool, the heat's got him. 

FX: [Door opens] 

Jeeves (Secombe): You called sir? 

Eccles: Yeh, just hold my clothes. 

FX: [Mighty splash] 

Grytpype: No, no, no, no, arghhhhh..! 

FX: [Pistol shot] 

Bluebottle: Hands up Mad Dan Eccles. Do not move. These guns are real cardboard. 

Seagoon: Mad Dan, where's the lost gold mine of Charlotte? 

Eccles: Behind that big pile of rocks. 

Seagoon: Oh heavens, we'll never be able to shift that lot. 

Bluebottle: Do not fear my capi-tan, I have here three sticks of highly explosive dynimite. 

Seagoon: Right, insert them under the rocks. 

Greenslade: What has become of Count Moriarty? He was suddenly attacked by a soaking wet elephant. 

Seagoon: Bluebottle, have you got the dynamite in place? 

Bluebottle: Yes. 

Seagoon: Eccles, press the plunger. Explosion. 

Bluebottle: You rotten swines you! You have deaded me! Look what you have done to my new Alan Ladd-type sports shirt. 

Seagoon: In a flash I was inside the lost gold mine of Charlotte. But, but there's no gold! 

Eccles: Well, that's-yah-lotte! (pronounced like "Charlotte without sounding the 'r'." 

            I weighed 89.3 kilos at 19:00. 

            I weighed 89.3 kilos before dinner. I had a potato, my last slice of roast beef and gravy for dinner while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. 

            In the first story Helen is directing the senior high school play and the kids want to do something other than the usual historical dramas. But it has rock and roll dancing and when the principal sees the rehearsal he shuts it down because it has too much gyration for decent children. Helen invites him to come and see a revised version of the play and it features kids dancing the Charleston from the principal's generation. He gets the point and gives in a little too easily. Also the dancing is far too professional for high school students. 

            One of the students was played by Cynthia Hull, who starred in High Yellow about a light skinned black teenager who tries to pass as white. She also starred in "Attack of the Eye Creatures." 

            In the second story Opie and his friend Arnold find a baby that's been left in front of the courthouse. Opie thinks he should tell his father but Arnold says Andy will have the baby put in an orphanage. Arnold has read Oliver Twist and thinks orphanages are still run the way they were in the England of Charles Dickens. Opie and Arnold keep the baby in their clubhouse in Opie's back yard. One baby bottle of milk was left in the basket. Opie and Arnold take turns knocking on doors and asking people if they want a baby. Complaints begin coming in and Bee and Helen conclude that Opie is asking these questions because he's curious about the facts of life. Andy is told that it's time for him to have a talk with Opie. Andy has to work up the nerve and calls Opie down to the courthouse. Andy is in the middle of the talk when the baby's parents come in. They say they've made a mistake and they want the baby back. Opie gives it to them after Andy says he's going to report them to social services and next time it might not go so easy for them. Andy finishes his talk and Opie listens with interest. Later Arnold asks Opie if he told his father he already knew. Opie says he didn't want to disappoint him. It's pretty unrealistic that the baby never cries at all. Since it was right there in Andy's back yard they would have been bound to hear it. 

            Arnold has a Brooklyn accent but his father doesn't. Arnold was played by Sheldon Collins, who became a dentist and had a practice in Colorado. 

            I was pleasantly surprised to see that the father of the baby was played by Jack Nicholson. I had no idea Jack had appeared on Andy Griffith. Jack was raised thinking his grandmother was his mother and that his mother was his sister. My best friend Larry when I was a kid had the same situation. Jack's first film was The Cry Baby Killer." Then he was the masochistic dental patient in "Little Shop of Horrors." He made his last two TV appearances on The Andy Griffith Show in 19666 and 1967 and then he helped popularize LSD by writing "The Trip" and psychedelia by co-writing "Head." His first Oscar nomination was for Easy Rider and his first of three wins was for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

May 29, 1991: The baby had a rash under her arms and inside her thighs

Thirty years ago today

            I got up around 10:30 on Wednesday. I had coffee, made Nancy a yogourt shake and turned on the dishwasher. I watched the baby while Nancy had a facial. The baby had rashes in the creases of her arms and legs. 

            I took a shower. I insufficiently sewed up my shorts. 

            I smooched with Nancy.

            I'd left my sneakers to air in the backyard and they'd gotten soaked. 

            I made Nancy pizza with tortillas and I had the rest of my birthday cake with Haagen Dazs before leaving for work. I caught the Warden bus to Finch, the Finch bus to Yonge and then the subway to North York City Hall. The job took five and a half hours and I was very thirsty afterwards so I went to McDonalds and had a milkshake with Coke. 

            I caught the Steeles bus to Warden and walked from there to Nancy's parents' place.

Maxine Semon

            On Thursday morning I started working out the chords for my song "Junk Shop Bizarre." It's the opening poem for my poetry manuscript that I hope to publish with the help of Albert Moritz when he recovers from his stroke. 

            I worked on memorizing the final verse of the original French "O Canada" and might have it done on Friday. 

            The gorilla tape that I used to cover the sharp ends of the frets of my Rocker guitar held down better during song practice than the electrical tape, but it's thicker and dulls the E string when I play a D chord. I think I'm going to have to just live with that until I get my Washburn back, since I can't think of a solution. 

            I weighed 89.4 kilos before breakfast. 

            In the late morning I started out on a bike ride and wished I'd worn my long sleeved shirt. I was halfway up Brock to Dundas when I realized I'd forgotten my mask. On a regular bike ride to Yonge and Bloor and home that wouldn't have been a problem, but I wanted to go to the supermarket on the way home, so I turned around and went back to get the mask and to also put on my long sleeved shirt. As I was riding up Brock again my bike felt like my back tire might be soft and at a red light I checked to find that was the case. I decided that it might not be a puncture and that I would just go home and pump it up. But as I was passing the Brockton Cyclery I thought it might be a good idea to stop and buy a tube. I did so and then used their pump. I decided to chance it after that and continue my bike ride. I went to Yonge and Bloor and the back tire stayed firm. 

            On the way back stopped at Freshco where the red seedless grapes were very cheap and so I got nine bags. I also bought strawberries, raspberries, cluster tomatoes, canned peach slices, orange juice and Greek yogourt. 

            My tire was still firm when I got home so there is no puncture but I'm glad I bought a backup tube. From now on I think I should always have one. 

            Just after I got home there was a knock on my door and it was Benji handing me an envelope on which he'd written "Thank you for your services." Last week I'd submitted his census information for him online when the government didn't send him a mailable form like he'd requested. Inside the envelope was $50. That's a pretty generous payment for ten minutes work. 

            I weighed 88.3 kilos before lunch. I had a slice of roast pork with barbecue sauce and scotch bonnet sauce. 

            Yesterday I took a photo of the number 3 on my apartment door and I manipulated the image on my computer to make it look like the Sanskrit letter "om." This afternoon I resized the image so it prints out the same size as the number on my door. My plan is to make it into a stencil, unscrew the number from the door and replace it with the om symbol. It'll still look like the number 3 but fancier. I wonder how my landlord will react. He might like it because he's a Hindu but he might hate it because he's a landlord. 

            I tried to post my blog but when I uploaded a photo I got an error message: "Sorry! An unexpected error occurred while processing your selection. Please try again later." I tried other photos but had the same problem. I searched the error and found that other blogger users had complained about the same issue over the last few hours. 

            I weighed 88.4 kilos at 18:30. 

            The Blogger issue still hadn't cleared up at 19:00. I tried clearing my browser data but that didn't help and blogger.com was still not taking images by 19:30. It was a mistake to clear my browser history because I had a hassle getting on Facebook with the memory of my password wiped. Fortunately I had it written down somewhere. At 20:20 I still couldn't post my blog. 

            I weighed 88.5 kilos before dinner. I had a potato, a slice of roast pork and gravy while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. 

            In the first story Goober is sitting in Andy's sheriff's car when a woman hits him from behind. he is slightly jarred and has a little crick in his neck but other than that he is fine. But later he talks to Floyd who tells him of someone who had a similar accident and felt fine but later died. Suddenly Goober feels stiff and in pain and can't put his arms over his head. Later Bee and Opie come to see him and Bee tells him about someone else who was crippled by a similar injury. Suddenly Goober collapses, almost paralyzed. Andy comes home to find Goober in his bed and wearing his pyjamas. The doctor says back injuries don't show up in x-rays and so one has to depend on how the patient says they feel. Andy has to give Goober deep massages and wait on him hand and foot. The next day Andy sits down exhausted beside Floyd on the bench in front of his barbershop. Floyd informs Andy that he saved Goober's life by informing him that his condition might be more serious than he thought. He might have gone for years before he realized it. Suddenly Andy has a theory that Goober's condition is psychosomatic. He walks in the bedroom and finds Goober asleep but happily tossing, turning and stretching every which way in bed like someone with a perfectly healthy back. He tries to prove to Goober that it's all in his head by throwing a football at him high so he will catch it and understand. But Goober doesn't fall for it. Instead he gets very upset and excitedly tells Bee what Andy tried to do. While recounting the situation he says, "He tried to get me to throw up my arms like this!" Andy says, "Look at your arms!" and Goober declares, "I'm cured!" Goober throws the football at Andy in celebration but in trying to catch it he dislocates his shoulder. Goober has to give Andy regular deep massages now. 

           The woman who rear ended Goober was played by Suzanne Taylor, who appeared on Night Gallery and My Favourite Martian. She was also a producer. 

           In the second story there is an opening for city councilman and Andy nominates Howard Sprague. Floyd and Goober agree he would be a great choice and when they put it to Howard he agrees to run. Meanwhile after Bee gives a speech at a women's club meeting about beautifying Mayberry the members all agree that she should run for city council. She accepts but when Andy hears that Bee is running he tells her he doesn't think she is the best choice. Bee thinks Andy is being sexist and treats him like garbage during her campaign. Andy organizes a town hall debate of the candidates with the audience asking questions. A new bridge and a new sewer are brought up and for each question Bee declares that if it's the will of the people they will have a new bridge and a new sewer. Howard disagrees and gives detailed statistics and costs of new bridges and sewers. He proposes cost effective alternatives such as building a new bridge on a different street and turning the old bridge into a pedestrian bridge. As for sewers he shows how the old sewer can simply be repaired. Bee is so impressed with Howard's research that she concedes and agrees he is the best person for the job. 

           Tilly Kincaid, one of Bee's team was played by Maxine Semon, whose screen debut was in a 1944 short film called Feather in Your Nest. She played Molly on Dragnet and Honeybee Gillis on The Life of Riley. She played Mrs Jillson on the Joey Bishop Show and Mabel Snark on Petticoat Junction.

            After dinner the problem with Blogger was resolved and I was able to post my blog. But there was another problem. All of the photos that I used for my blog disappeared from my picture folder after I closed Google Chrome. Normally once a picture shows that it's downloaded in the lower left hand corner of my screen it is in my pictures folder until I choose to delete it. Lately every picture I download is still downloading perpetually in Chrome Downloads and when I close that the pictures disappear. The copies that I uploaded to my blog are still on my blog but they disappear from my computer. The only pictures that stay are the ones I alter in Paint. I suspect all I would have to do would be to change one pixel for it to stay.

May 28, 1991: We took the baby outside for the first time and she slept on my lap for a long while

Thirty years ago today

 

            I wasn't scheduled to work on Tuesday but I got a call around 10:00 to go to a job that was a ten minute walk from Nancy's parents' house. I met Gary and Paul at 175 Bamburgh and we moved a couple to Pickering. We finished at around 18:00 and each got a $20 tip. 

            Paul dropped me back at Bamburgh Plaza. I bought some sandwich stuff and two milkshakes and took them back to Nancy's parents' place. 

            Nancy and I took the baby outside for the first time. We walked her around in the shade but the sunlight was inescapable and it seemed to annoy her. Nancy fed her outside and then she slept on my lap for a long time. She was sweating like crazy though so I took the blankets off. 

            Later I finished my beer with a sandwich and Nancy's sister Susan rented Annie Hall.

Dragon Tree

            On Wednesday after yoga I finished working out the chords to my song "Dashine" and ran through it. 

            Since it was my birthday, during song practice I just did certain songs I prefer to sing and others that absolutely need practice, and so I finished earlier than usual. The electrical tape that I put over the sharp, rough ends of my frets worked to keep the inside of my index finger from getting cut. But the tape sometimes curled up and touched the E string, dulling it, and so from time to time I had run my thumb over it to press it down. Obviously the longer it's there the less it will stick and so I might go see if the hardware store has a stickier tape that's still smooth for sliding bar chords. 

            After song practice I tried to open a Word file and it wouldn't load. All I got was the Word logo and then after that it froze. Usually a restart corrects that problem but it didn't this time. I tried shutting down and starting again but it still wouldn't open. None of my other Word documents would open either. I tried reinstalling Word from the original Word 2000 CD but there was a missing file. Finally I found I could open all Word files in Open Office and so that might be what I'll have to do from now on.

            I weighed 88.9 kilos before a delicious breakfast. I had a toasted Montreal style bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon candied in maple syrup while watching the first episode of The Addams Family. It really was one of the best shows ever on television. 

            In this story a truant officer comes to see the Addams's to get their children to go to school. The Addams's unintentionally nearly scare Mr Hillier to death. They receive a letter insisting that Wednesday and Pugsley go to school and although Gomez is against it, Morticia seduces him into realizing that mother knows best. But after the first day Wednesday comes home crying because in school they read a Grimm's fairy tale about a knight in shining armour that murdered a dragon. They also learned of two juvenile delinquents named Hansel and Gretel that pushed an old woman into an oven. The Addams's protest to the school board about the violence and the school board relents.

            Wednesday was played by the six year old Lisa Loring, who started modelling at age three. She played Cricket Montgomery on the soap opera As The World Turns. She was the makeup artist and uncredited writer for the adult film Traci's Big Trick when she met her third husband, porn actor Jerry Butler. She made him quit porn but he secretly went back to it and when she found out she moved on to her fourth husband. 

            I heard Benji and Shankara chatting in the hallway so I opened my door and joined them. Whenever Benji finishes relating something he looks off in the distance, rocks on his heels and declares, "So that's the way it goes!" We talked for over two hours. 

            I weighed 88 kilos before lunch. I had potato chips, salsa, skyr and a beer for lunch. 

            I carried my guitar over to the hardware store and stood in line on the sidewalk for ten minutes. I showed the guy the tape I was using and asked for something just as smooth but stickier. He said there's nothing smoother than electrical tape but gorilla tape is stronger so I got a roll of that plus a can of black spray paint. 

            On the way home I stopped in the corner store and bought a dracaena plant. The tag didn't specify which of the 200 varieties it was but this one has three canes braided around each other and leaves that stick up in the air. As far as I can tell it's a dracaena marginata or dragon tree. I also bought a big bag of potting soil. When I got home I dumped all the old soil;d from the planter between the bathroom and the hallway and filled it up with soil. I planted the dragon tree in it and watered it. I made a mess because the water overflowed and I had to soak up the wet dirt from the floor and then wash the area. The plant looks pretty good. I might plant something in the living room as well. It's been quite a long time since my lemon tree died.

            While we were chatting I had told Shankara and Benji that it was my birthday and later Shankar knocked on my door to give me a gift card from the liquor store. 

            I took a siesta about three and a half hours later than usual. 

            I weighed 88.1 kilos at 19:00. 

            I changed the tape on my guitar. So far it's sticking better. 

            I watched some porn. 

            I heated four mini spinach quiches and four potato and pea samosas for dinner and had them with two beers while watching the second episode of The Addams Family. In this story Pugsley is going through a horrible phase. He's joined the Boy Scouts and started playing with puppies. Morticia and Gomez consult a psychologist who tells them to indulge his whims and assures them that it's a phase he'll get over. When Pugsley continues to lose interest in the dark pastimes of the family they call Dr. Black and urge him to make a house call. He thinks that the strange things he sees in their home are the result of Pugsley's parents indulging him as he advised. He spends some time in Pugsley's room and gets him to express his inner feelings, resulting in him setting off some dynamite like he normally would. The treatment is a success. 

            Earlier I made chocolate chip pie. When I bought it I hadn't realized it had to be baked. It spent a little too long in the oven when I went to the hardware store and so the crust got overdone. Nonetheless the slice I had for dessert with ice cream while watching another episode of The Addams Family wasn't bad. 

            In this story Uncle Fester has decided to put an ad in the lonely hearts club column in the paper. Gomez takes a horrifying photograph for Fester's profile and after a day he is impatient for a response. When a cosmetics saleswoman shows up at the door he thinks she is answering his ad. She is beautiful be normal standards but of course not by Fester's. As she keeps pressing to make a sale the family thinks she's a sex trade worker. When she realizes this she leaves. Fester takes up Zen Yoga instead.

            Miss Carver was played by Merry Anders, who started modelling in LA and while taking acting lessons she was spotted by a Fox scout. She signed with Fox and did several low budget, mostly western, science fiction and horror films. She starred in "Escape From San Quentin." Then she went freelance and worked on television. She played Joyce Erwin on the Stu Erwin Show. She co-starred in the TV series version of "How To Marry A Millionaire." She was in the cast of the short lived sitcom "It's Always Jan." She played cop Dorothy Miller on on Dragnet 1967. She was in the first English film adaptation of Beauty and the Beast. She had a recurring role in the soap opera Never Too Young. She had a supporting role in Women of the Prehistoric Planet. She had a recurring role on Lassie. She retired in 1972 to become a customer relations coordinator at Litton Industries.

May 27, 1991: Nancy asked me to stop playing Vanity because she thought she had a negative effect on our baby

Thirty years ago today 

            On Monday I worked down at Spadina and St Clair loading that job that had been postponed last Wednesday. We moved the customer to Yonge and Summerhill and finished at 16:00. Dave gave me a ride to St Clair Station. 

            I had some ice cream at Bloor and picked up a milkshake and a Coke. 

            I got back to Nancy's parents' place at around 18:00 and found that Nancy had gone for a walk. When she got back I was playing my Vanity tape and she asked me to turn it off because she thought it was having a negative effect on the baby. I said I disagreed and argued that music with a beat is dance music and to slight it is to slight dancing. She got angry and frustrated because she had no argument. She grabbed my head and I raised my hand.

Hillbillies

            On Tuesday morning it had been over two days since Shankar’s network disappeared. Maybe he just needs to reset his modem but I haven’t seen him to bring it up. Fortunately I can access the dlink network, although the signal is weak and so sometimes websites or images load slowly. 

            I memorized the neglected third verse of the original French version of “O Canada" that declares that Canada is an enemy of tyranny. There's just one verse left and then I'll find the chords. I assume the internet is full of different versions of those. 

            During song practice the Rocker electric guitar continues to stay in tune for usually at least three songs like a guitar is supposed to. I still have difficulty adjusting to the different fretboard and finding where to place my fingers. The main problem with this guitar is that the ends of the frets are rough and sharp. When I’m barring cords I’m used to sliding from one chord to another but I can't do it with this guitar because the frets cut into my index finger. I have to learn to lift my hands off the neck in between chords, which is probably what I’m supposed to do in the first place but I'm not used to it and I get cut by the frets. 

            I weighed 89.5 kilos before breakfast. In the late morning I shaved and showered and then after doing the dishes there was no time for me to work on my oven cleaning project. 

            I ran a strip of electrical tape down the neck of the Rocker to cover the ends of the frets that have been cutting into my index finger. It seems to help but only if the tape stays stuck during song practice tomorrow morning I will know whether it works or not.

            I called Remenyi a few times and finally got through to Harold. He said my Washburn guitar is still not back yet but he thinks that it’ll be returned after the lockdown is lifted. I asked about my warranty running out on June first and he said that since my claim was made before June 1 then it will still be valid afterwards. It looks like I'll be stuck playing the electric for at least a couple of more weeks. 

            I weighed 88.9 kilos before lunch. I had a slice of roast pork with barbecue and hot sauce and a glass of grapefruit juice. 

            In the afternoon I was posting my blog and the dlink connection went off a couple of times when I was trying to load photos. It had been almost three days since I couldn’t find Sankar’s network and so I decided it was time to knock on his door. He said he hasn't had access to his own WiFi either but hasn’t really thought about it because he has a different internet connection for his phone. He said he’d look into it and then five minutes later he told me that he'd discovered that a connection had been loose at the back of his modem. He plugged it back in and I was connected again. 

            The delay in posting my blog caused me to take my bike ride more than half an hour later than usual. There were a lot of cyclists out and so I had to ride off the Bloor bike lane a couple of times to pass lines of them. On my way back along Queen there was a jam because they were laying down new streetcar rails between Bay and University and it took at least ten minutes to span the distance. 

            I stopped at Freshco to get cream-cheese and honey and there was a lineup for the first time in months. I got what I was looking for but I also walked around and picked up a few other things. I bought two bags of grapes, an Italian pasta salad, spoon size shredded wheat, piri piri sauce, hapanero sauce, some frozen mini quiches, some frozen samosas, dental floss and some Haagen Dazs ice cream bars. 

            I weighed 88.6 kilos after my bike ride. 

            I worked a bit on my poem series “My Blood in a Bug" but there wasn't a lot of time before dinner. 

            I had a potato, a slice of roast pork and gravy while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith.

            In the first story there is a new minister visiting Mayberry. As Reverend Leighton is an older, distinguished, unmarried gentleman, all of the late middle aged single church ladies are buying new hats and dolling themselves up. There are so many functions for everyone to attend Bee is worried about her hair holding up. Her hairdresser convinces her to try a blond wig and it makes quite an impression with Leighton. But when the reverend’s next sermon urges people to be their natural selves Bee gets worried that she’s doing something wrong. She is afraid to not wear the wig and reveal pretension but when Leighton expresses interest in her and tells her he may be taking over a church in Mount Pilot but he would like to visit Mayberry and her often, she finally confesses that she’s wearing a wig. He thinks nothing of it and that wasn't what he meant by not being oneself. 

            Reverend Leighton was played by Ian Wolfe, who would later become well known as Mama Carlson’s calm but irreverent butler Hirsche on WKRP In Cincinnati. He played Septimus in one Star Trek episode and Mr. Atoz in another. 

            Mrs Larch, one of the church ladies was played by Carol Veazie, who played Mrs Burnside in “Auntie Mame". 

            In the second story the darlings return to town. The boys always stand on the back of the truck and play their instruments and this time we learn that it’s so as to drown out the sound of the engine. The reason they’ve come to Mayberry is that they've struck it rich. They've sold a piece of land for $300 and so now Briscoe is taking advantage of his fortune to find city girls to be brides for his sons. But when he takes the boys out on the street to ogle the passing women they find slim pickings. Andy is relieved to hear they are going to head back to the mountains. But when they drop by to give their regards to Bee an owl lands on the front of their truck. They are superstitious people and they take this as an omen that fits the saying, “If you see an owl at daytime then the next female you see is surely the bride for thee.” It just so happens that the next woman to walk down the street is Helen. Briscoe insists that she is going to be the bride for one of his sons even though Andy tells him she is his girl. Briscoe tells him he can’t argue with an omen. That night the boys serenade Helen in front of her house. Andy pleads with Briscoe again but Briscoe tells him the only thing that could make them stop is the counter omen of another owl appearing in the daytime. Andy realizes the only thing to stop this is to play into their superstitions. Andy tells them to be at his house the next day and after they’ve had some muffins they leave the house and see there is an owl sitting again on their hood. The owl is s stuffed owl and Goober has lowered it on a string from a tree. They decide that Helen is not the one after all.

May 26, 1991: On my birthday I felt good on purpose all day

Thirty years ago today

            I made my birthday my own private Christmas and felt good on purpose all day Sunday. The day started off with a blow job from Nancy and then I made a zucchini omelette for breakfast. 

            I went out into the Scarborough rain to look for lawn sales and picked up about thirty records for twenty five cents. I rented "Being There" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." I bought the New York Times, TV Guide, the newspapers and some snacks. Then I got take-out from Sam Woo's and brought it all back to Nancy's parents' place. Nancy's friend Rakina was visiting and we watched "Being There." After Rakina left Nancy called me into the kitchen and there was a lit cake and snacks. I laughed and chatted with Nancy's family and I was glad that they didn't sing "Happy Birthday."

Hamilton Camp

            On Monday morning I memorized the second verse of the original French “O Canada” and adjusted my translation of the third verse. 

            I tried to use my Kramer electric for song practice but the locking mechanism for holding it in tune doesn’t seem to work. I tried tuning all the strings several times, then locked them down and fine tune them with the bottom dials but the strings would all just go flat every time. I removed the high E string from the broken Rose acoustic that my upstairs neighbour David gave me and learned how to load the string through the back of the Rocker electric. It took a while to get the string in tune but once I tuned all of the strings, they all pretty much stayed in tune for most of a shortened rehearsal. This was the first time for months that I’ve played a guitar that stayed in tune and it was very satisfying. It’s awkward playing an electric though when I'm so used to playing acoustics. My hands didn't always go to the right place. I wanted to get in a bit of all of my songs and so song practice went half an hour longer than usual. But tomorrow morning it will probably end much sooner than usual because I won’t be tuning all the time. I had the amp at fairly low volume and so I probably wasn’t as loud as I am with an acoustic. 

            I weighed 89.8 kilos before breakfast. 

            In the late morning I returned to my oven cleaning project. Except for some of edge of the front I’ve cleared away all of the black, caked in grease at the bottom, The sides and the back still have lots to get off but there’s more blue showing through than before.. 

            I weighed 89.2 kilos before lunch. I heated a slice of roast pork and had it with barbecue and hot sauce. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride to Yonge and Bloor. Since it was Victoria Day the streets were more quiet than on a Sunday. I weighed 88.6 kilos when I got back. 

            I worked on my poem series “My Blood in a Bug.” 

            I edited the video I’m making of my song “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy.” Yesterday I’d inserted at the beginning the video I’d made of the lightning, snakes and animated electrical cords. Before the insertion the concert video and studio audio were in sync so today I started cutting out unnecessary bits of the concert video to line things up again. 

            For dinner I had a potato, a slice of roast pork and gravy while watching two episodes of Andy Griffith. 

            In the first story Andy is in a barbershop quartet that is representing Mayberry in a competition that is two days away. The tenor is Howard Sprague but he comes down with a frog in his throat and so Andy has to find another tenor. No one he auditions works out but he has a prisoner named Jeff who has a beautiful tenor voice. The problem is that Jeff is a three time repeat offender for theft and pick pocketing. He also keeps trying to escape and despite the urging of the other singers Andy is reluctant to let Jeff out because it’s illegal. But at the last minute he finally relents and the quartet travel to Mount Pilot for the competition. Their dressing room is small and so everyone has to change one at a time. Jess takes the opportunity to escape through the window. He comes across the camp of a solo hobo who welcomes him and when the man learns that Jeff had been in Mayberry he starts talking about what a nice guy sheriff Taylor is compared with all the other sheriffs. He says whenever he leaves the Mayberry jail he always feels like he’s been treated like a person. Jeff feels guilty after this and returns to the competition just before the Mayberry quartet were about to withdraw. They sing and win the trophy. 

            Jeff was played by Hamilton Camp, who was born in England but evacuated to the US during the blitz. He became a member of the influential folk duo Gibson and Camp. Their 1961 album “Gibson and Camp at the Gate of Horn” was a big success. After they broke up Camp recorded a solo album called “Paths of Victory.” He was also a member of Chicago’s Second City troupe. He had guest appearances as an actor on many TV shows and was a regular on two failed sitcoms. In the 70s he joined the spiritual community Subud but in 1999 released the album “Mardi’s Bard” dedicated to Mardi Arquette, the mother of Patricia and Rosanna. His song “Here’s To You” peaked at 76 on the charts in 1968. He wrote the song “Pride of Man” recorded by the Quicksilver Messenger Service. 

            

            

            In the second story a junior league baseball game between Mayberry and Mount Pilot is coming up but the regular umpire is sick. Both sides agree that Andy would be the best choice to take his place but Andy is reluctant because Opie is on the Mayberry team and he feels it’s a conflict of interest. Everyone convinces Andy to take on the role and so he agrees. Near the end of the game Mayberry has only one chance to win and it’s Opie ay bat. He hits a fly and rounds the bases and slides in to home just as the catcher receives the ball. It’s close but Andy calls Opie out. Of course no one in Mayberry agrees and Andy is shunned, even by Opie and Aunt Bee. Howard Sprague is covering the game for the local paper and he writes a column that is swayingly sympathetic with Andy. After reading it the town changes its attitude and is nice to Andy again. Helen took a lot of pictures of the game and shows one to Bee that shows that Andy’s call was wrong, but she swears Bee to secrecy and tears it up.