Megaphor

            On Thursday morning I finished translating "Sermonette" by Boris Vian. I'll start memorizing the song tomorrow. 

            I memorized the fifth and sixth verses of "Suicide" by Serge Gainsbourg. I might have the song nailed down tomorrow. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I finished cleaning the inside of my fridge door. My next project is to pull out the filing cabinet to the right of the fridge and to wash the wall behind it and then the floor beneath it. There was no time for that today and so with the remaining half hour before lunch I sorted through my drawer of documents and receipts and threw out some of the older papers. There's lots more to get rid of there but I'll save that job for another day. 

            I weighed 85.1 kilos before lunch. 

            I took a siesta and was awakened by a heavy rainstorm. I had to get up and close the window because water was getting on the floor. By the time I got up fifteen minutes later the rain had stopped. 

            I took a bike ride downtown and back and on the way home I stopped at Freshco. I bought five bags of grapes, a pack of Canadian strawberries, a bunch of bananas, five-year-old cheddar, a bag of naan, a jug of limeade, and a jar of Basilica pasta sauce. 

            I weighed 84.9 kilos at 17:30. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:30. 

            I published the video of me playing and singing my song "Megaphor" and I uploaded it to YouTube. https://youtu.be/pmXEHpElH84 

            In the Movie Maker project for my song "Instructions for Electroshock Therapy" I shaved the lightning video down from three minutes to one minute by removing a lot of parts between lightning strikes and also parts where the scenery is more prominent than the lightning. I only need about five seconds and so I'll edit it some more tomorrow. 

            I finished sorting through the fifth file folder of my writing and started on the sixth. This one is mostly poetry I wrote between 1993 and 2000. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two small chicken drumsticks while watching four Bugs Bunny cartoons from 1954. 

            In the first story, Bugs lives in the city. He goes to the bank to get a carrot out of his safety deposit box and then he gets into a cab. But it's not really a cab but rather a getaway car. The driver, Mugsy is waiting for his boss. A very short gangster named Rocky with a tall hat comes out of the bank carrying several bags of money while firing his gun into the bank. He gets into the car and tells Mugsy to step on it. When Rocky realizes there is a rabbit in the car he tells Mugsy to take him for a ride. Bugs says he loves rides and begins talking about rides. Rocky points his gun at Bugs and tells him to shaddap. Bugs begins talking about shutting up until Rocky says, "Shaddap shuttin up!" Bugs asks Mugsy to stop at a gas station. Bugs goes to a phone booth and calls the cops. Mugsy grabs him and takes him back to the car, pulling the phone line along with him. A policeman is also yanked through the phone line. At a railroad crossing, Bugs is told to get out and see if the coast is clear. Bugs says it is and the car gets hit by a train. Bugs is forced to fix the car but there is still a wheel missing and so Bugs has to run alongside the car while propping up that corner. The robbers reach their hideout, which is a house on the edge of a cliff. Rocky tells Mugsy to take Bugs to the other room and let him have it. Once they are alone, Bugs convinces the dim Mugsy to let him have the gun like the boss said. Mugsy gets shot and so the boss decides to take care of bugs himself. But before he can do so Bugs makes the sound of police sirens and the voices of cops arriving. The robbers ask Bugs to hide them and so he puts them in the oven. Bugs pretends to have a conversation with one of the cops. He says Rocky's not in the stove, then imitates the cop saying, "He's hiding in the stove, eh?" Bugs says, "Would I turn on this gas if my friend Rocky was in there?" "You might." "Would I throw in a lit match if he was in there?" There is a contained explosion in the oven. Bugs imitates the cop saying, "You've convinced me" and he imitates the cop leaving. But then the real police arrive and the thugs hide in the oven again. The same scenario repeats itself until Rocky and Mugsy jump out of the oven and surrender just before the match is thrown in. 

            In the second story Yosemite Sam is a pirate piloting a ship all by himself but he has such a notorious reputation that the full crew of the craft he approaches abandons ship. All except for Bugs Bunny, who takes on Sam single handed. As has happened before in similar battles between Bugs and Sam, Sam keeps getting shot in the face with cannons, sometimes his own. Sam sends a barrel full of TNT with a sail and a lit fuse across to Bugs's ship but Bugs uses and electric fan to blow it back to explode in Sam's face. Sam gets aboard Bugs's ship but Bugs is in the crow's next. Sam chops the pole that holds the crows nest but it defies gravity until Sam steps under it and is flattened. Sam climbs up and Bugs jumps in the water. Sam jumps in after him and hits his head on a rock. Like in a previous story Bugs throws lit matches down into Sam's powder hold. Sam's ship explodes. Sam tries to do the same thing to Bugs's powder room but Bugs does nothing to stop it so Sam swims away. Bugs wonders why he was so excited because it really is a powder room like ladies use and talcum powder doesn't explode. But then it explodes. 

            In the third story, all of the animals are running away because the Tasmanian Devil is on the loose. Bugs has never heard of it and so looks it up in the encyclopaedia and reads out loud the list of animals that the devil eats. At the end of the list a voice behind Bugs adds "rabbits". Bugs says, "It doesn't say rabbits here." The devil's hand with a pen adds "rabbits" to the list. Bugs says he's a rabbit with no meat on his bones but he will help the devil find other meat. They first start digging for groundhogs but when the devil digs a hole, Bugs buries the devil. The devil attacks Bugs but Bugs says he smells chicken. He says for him to wait while he fixes it. Bugs mixes bubble gum and soda and shapes it like a chicken. The devil eats it and blows such a big bubble that he floats into the air. Bugs shoots him down with a sling shot. The bugs takes the compressed form of a self inflating rubber raft and makes it look like a pig. The devil eats it and then Bugs pulls the cord until a big raft inflates in the devil's stomach. Then Bugs makes a fake deer and tells the devil to knock it out with a big slingshot he's made. But when the devil pulls it back Bugs cuts the tree and sends the devil flying backward. The devil begins chasing Bugs. Bugs calls Tasmania and makes an order. A female Tasmanian devil arrives in a wedding gown. The two monsters fall in love immediately and Bugs, disguised as a parson marries them. They head back for Tasmania. 

            This was the first appearance of the Tasmanian Devil. After this episode, Edward Selzer ordered the character shelved because he thought it was too violent for children, but they were inundated with letters from people who wanted to see more of him. He has become extremely popular since then. 

            In the fourth story, Bugs is in the Pacific Northwest and he wanders onto the property of Paul Bunyan. He discovers a garden of enormous carrots and begins mining them. But when Paul leaves for work he tells his giant dog Smidgen to look after the garden. Smidgen picks up a carrot that Bugs is tunneling through. Bugs walks onto Smidgen's nose and up to his eye to confront him. Smidgen flicks Bugs but knocks him inside of his eye. Bugs comes out through his ear. Bugs runs down a hole and while Smidgen is sniffing he tickles him with a feather, which causes Smidgen to sneeze and blow Bugs into Bunyan's house and into his moose horn. Smidgen blows him out of the horn and he goes into a gun. He shoots him out of the gun and he rides the bullet into an apple which Smidgen eats. Bugs goes into Smidgen's fur to begin scratching him and the dog finds it very pleasurable. Bugs escapes but Smidgen goes after him to lick him in a friendly way with his monstrous tongue. 

            I did a search for bedbugs and found none.