Joseph V. Perry

            On Thursday morning I worked out the chords for the first verse of “Au risque de te déplaire” (At the Risk You’ll Have the Blues) by Serge Gainsbourg. I think the rest of the song will be the same. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions and it actually stayed in tune for one whole song. 

            I weighed 86.85 kilos before breakfast. 

            At 13:00 I left for my long bike ride to the Forest Hill Family Health Centre at Avenue Road and Eglinton. I stopped to pee at Long and McQuade at Ossington and Bloor. I rode to Avenue Road and Bloor and then north. The hill between Davenport and St Clair is a lot steeper on Avenue Rd than it is on Yonge and so I was really spinning in my lowest gear. I’d forgotten that Avenue Rd. ends for a while at Upper Canada College. I rode up the driveway of the college thinking there was maybe a back road out but there didn’t seem to be. I took a western side road out and rode north on Forest Hill Rd and then eventually made my way over to Spadina Rd. and took it north to Eglinton and then rode east to the clinic. It only took me an hour to get there. Next time I’ll just go up Bathurst. 

            My appointment with Dr. Shechtman was for 14:15 but I had to wait an extra half an hour on top of the fact that I was almost half an hour early. When I saw him I teased that he’d been trying to get away from me by moving to the new place. He said his office called all of his patients and emailed them if they had emails on record. I guess I just didn’t recognize the call and hadn’t given his office my email. He likes the new clinic and he could walk to work but hasn’t yet. One of the reasons I guess is that he works at senior homes in the morning. I weighed 85.6 kilos. I probably lost two kilos riding up there. My blood pressure is fine. He checked my prostate and it’s okay. I told him I’d read that if one ejaculates every day it would reduce the risk of getting prostate cancer by 25%. He said there are all kinds of theories but he hadn’t heard that one. He said it would be nice if it’s true. He asked if I smoke and I said only what comes through the window. He said his neighbours were smoking pot the other night and the smoke came in his bedroom window. I asked when was the last time he smoked pot and he said when he was a teenager. But he has friends that still smoke it. He used to play poker with some guys who were always smoking pot. He said he’s been a grandfather for eighteen months and showed me a picture of his granddaughter and also of his daughter and his son. His son is a big guy with a red beard and he has a successful gourmet dogfood business. 

            He talked me into getting the shingles vaccine because I’m about to turn 70 and it’s free when one is under 70. He didn’t get the logic of why it should cost money for those over 70. He gave me the first of two needles and said I’d have to come back in two months for the second shot. He said people have strong reactions to the vaccine but I haven’t noticed anything yet. In addition to my usual blood work requisition he gave me one for a bone density test, which is recommended after one turns 70. 

            On the way back I took Eglinton to Bathurst and rode all the way south. I stopped at Bathurst and Bloor to see if Life Labs is still there. I called this morning but got a “number out of service” message but they are still there. I went to the x-ray lab but they only had nighttime appointments for the bone density test and one daytime appointment for Saturday. They took my email so they could let me know when a weekday daytime appointment would be available. She commented that my email is very meaningful because it indicates my name being the same front and back. 

            I stopped at Freshco on the way home where I bought five bags of red grapes, two packs of raspberries, some bananas, a pack of Genoa salami, and two packs of Full City Dark coffee. 

            I weighed 85.6 kilos at 16:52. 

            I took a siesta and slept until 19:17. 

            I weighed 86.5 kilos at 19:30. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 1, episode 2 of The Bill Cosby Show. 

            In this story there is a barking dog in an apartment across the street from Chet’s house and he is not getting any sleep. At work the next day he can barely keep his eyes open. His fellow gym teacher Max comes in with the news that the special clinic they went to on physical fitness last month has selected ten PE instructors to act as special representatives. Chet and Max have a meeting next week with Mr. Shalert to make their case. Max tells Chet there is a special sleep department at Al’s Department Store. Chet goes there a couple of times to get various items that are supposed to help such as ear plugs and other ear coverings but nothing helps. Chet finds the apartment with the dog but when a beautiful woman named Rona answers he can’t bring himself the complain. She invites him in and her dog Bruno likes him immediately but he still makes noise at night. Chet and Max have the meeting with Shalert but Chet keeps falling asleep and snores with his eyes open. That night he goes to bed early but the doorbell rings and it’s Rona with Bruno. She asks if he’ll dog-sit Bruce while she goes for dinner with her mother. He of course agrees. That’s the end. 

            Max seemed like he was meant to be a regular on the show but this was his only appearance. He was played by Joseph V. Perry, who received the Glenn Ford Award for acting in the drama department of Santa Monica High School. He received the UCLA Best Actor Award in 1952. He started his professional acting career in 1955 and appeared in hundreds of films over the next 45 years. His film debut was in The Left Handed Gun. His TV debut was in Have Gun Will Travel. He played the pizza place owner Nemo on Everybody Loves Raymond.