Alan Cumming

            On Monday it was my birthday.

            I had gone to bed early and woke up at 3:30. I laid in bed for a while and got up at 4:00. I didn’t listen to the radio during yoga but instead played Bach: “Es ist das Heil uns kommen her” (Salvation Now Has Come For All); “Mein Seel erhebt den Herren” (My Soul Magnifies the Lord); “Lobet Gott in seinen Reichen” (Laud to God in All His Kingdoms); and “Weinen, Klagen, Sorgen, Zagen” (Weeping, Lamenting, Worrying, Fearing). I did all my exercises, including my chin-ups and skipping earlier than usual. 

            I looked ahead for the next Serge Gainsbourg songs for which I hadn’t yet worked out the chords and found two more in the 1967 file that now have audio files online. In addition to these there’s one more song in the 1967 file but unfortunately there does not seem to be a recording or any lyrics posted. It’s an anti capital punishment song about Carol Chessman (who was executed in the US) that Gainsbourg sang with France Gall, but any record of it seems to be lost. 

            Around midday I rode east almost to Spadina to get a dozen sesame seed bagels at Bagels On Fire. I stopped at A&W where I got a bacon and egg sandwich on a muffin and some fries. When I got home I went to Pope Yes and bought six biscuits, which were already done. Then I went over to Ali’s Roti to ask if they could still make a spinach and potato roti with just spinach. In the last few years they’ve added some other vegetables that I find nasty. The guy at the counter said they add Bok choy and something else now and it can’t be changed. He said he doesn’t like it either because it tastes bitter. He said, “You can thank Ali for that”. I got a potato and curried split pea roti with hot sauce. 

           When I got home I made coffee and was heating up the fries and the breakfast sandwich when I got a call from my upstairs neighbour David. He said he was waiting for me downstairs at Pope Yes. I told him I couldn’t come and he was disappointed. Somehow he’d gotten the impression that I’d agreed to hang out with him today. I always have plans on my birthday that don’t involve hanging out in fast food joints. I told him we could do it another time. 

            I had the breakfast sandwich, fries and coffee while watching episode 1 of the latest season of Doctor Who. 

            The story opens with Alan Budd presenting Belinda Chandra with a certificate that shows he’s paid to have a star named after her. Seventeen years later Belinda is a nurse in a hospital and she comes home after a long shift to find her co-op invaded by giant robots who capture her to take her back to Missbelindachandra One” as the queen of the planet that orbits the star that Alan named after her. The Doctor arrives too late to save her. He tries but fails to intercept the ship on the way to the before mentioned planet. She is greeted by a human named Sasha 55 who calls her the queen but says the robots must be obeyed. She steps forward and whispers “Please help us!” There is a rebellion by the humans and the robots are killing them. Two rows of humans are there on either side (including the Doctor) as she is told to walk towards her throne. She is told she will marry the Great AI Generator. The AI holds a copy of Belinda’s star certificate and says it is a binding contract. He tells her she will bond with the machine. She refuses but the robots say the marriage will be enforced. Belinda asks why everything on this planet is so stupid. Sasha introduces the planet’s designated historian to explain and it is the Doctor. He tells her how the robots and humans used to live together in peace but adds a different word outside of his story about how the AI Generator conquered the robots, in every ninth word with the message “Listen to me please carefully. Robots faulty, cannot hear every ninth word”. She understands and counts her words to confirm she understands. He adds “Rebels fight back very soon. The time is now!” Suddenly the rebels draw blaster guns to attack the robots. Many of the rebels are killed but some escape with Belinda to their headquarters. Sasha dies and it turns out she was beloved by the Doctor and others. Some rebels resent Belinda and say it’s her fault. She returns to nurse mode and helps the wounded. The Doctor tells her someone told him she was important. He says AI’s star certificate is not a copy of hers but the exact same certificate. He says time is out of sync. When he arrived at Belinda’s planet the robots impounded his Tardis. For Belinda only two hours have passed but for the Doctor it has been six months. If Belinda’s certificate were to touch AI’s certificate there would be an explosion. There is fighting going on outside of the rebels’ hideout and it’s in danger of collapsing. Belinda turns on a floor polishing robot knowing full well that if it is activated the robots will find their hideout. She does this to save the humans by surrendering herself to marriage with the AI. When she approaches the AI she discovers that it is not AI but rather Al Budd. When she was being abducted earlier she had called out that they should go after Al instead of her since he bought the certificate. It turns out that this caused them to go back in time through the time fracture to abduct Alan Budd. He loved it because it was like a video game he could live in. They transformed him into the AI and he took control. He was an incel with an obsession for Belinda. That night when he gave her the certificate he proposed but wanted full control and she told him no. Al now holds out the certificate for her to take the other end and bond with him. But she takes the original certificate and touches it to his. As they are the same from different timelines it causes a kind of time explosion. The Doctor pulls her out of it but in doing so he goes through her entire lifetime to realize that he has been connected with her since she came into being. Alan reverts to a sperm and egg and then the floor cleaner sucks him up. The robots return to being friends with the humans. They return the Tardis to the Doctor. Belinda enters it with the usual reaction. He tells her that the soldier Manisha Chetri who he met in the 51st Century was a direct descendant of her. She accuses him of testing her DNA without her permission and says he is dangerous. He wants to take her on adventures and says she will not miss her shift in the hospital but she demands that he take her home. However the Tardis is deflected by something that prevents her from returning to her point of departure. It looks like Earth has been exploded in that timeline. 

            I brought the step ladder in and with a hammer and chisel I tore the plaster and concrete off a meter square area of the eastern living room wall above the door, freeing up the bricks. 

            I rode up to Marks at the Dufferin Mall to buy a pair of sweatpants. The pair I’ve had for years has started to fall apart and is just being held up by the drawstring, which cut my finger at one point. They had three sizes of extra large but I discovered that the increase in size is just in width and that the leg length is the same for all of them, so I just bought the smaller extra large, which seems to be about the same length as the ones I had already but they are 72% cotton while the old ones are 100% polyester so I think it’s probably an improvement. 

            I weighed 85.85 kilos at 17:00, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since May 9. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:25. 

            David came by and I gave him a biscuit and a Montreal bagel. He says the landlord’s son is moving in above me. Incredible that Raja would put his own child at ground zero of the bedbug infestation. 

            I heated my roti and had it with a few beers while watching episode 2 of the current season of Doctor Who. 

            In a cinema in Florida in 1952, a cartoon character named Mr. Ringading in the animated pre-movie short comes to life and attacks the audience. Meanwhile the Doctor is still trying to get Belinda back to May 24, 2025. He assembles a Vortex Indicator or Vindicator. The Tardis now has to land somewhere and he’ll activate the Vindicator, which will cast out a signal like a fishing line to May 24, 2025 and then the Tardis can hone in on the signal. They land in 1952 and get clothes from the Tardis to wear for that time period. They step out and are in front of the cinema where Mr. Ringading came to life. They find that the door to the cinema has been chained shut and that people have left flowers in the doorway with more than one name addressed. The Vindicator goes off, indicating that it has made the connection to May 24, 2055. Belinda wants to go home but the Doctor wants to investigate the movie theatre. Belinda says, “You’re Scooby Doo!” He says, “Honey please, I’m Velma”, meaning Velma Dinkley of Scooby Doo Where Are You? They go to the diner next door to have coffee and ask questions. They learn that fifteen people went missing from the picture house. The waiter says he’ll bend the rules but Belinda doesn’t understand. The Doctor explains that in 1952 in Miami the diner is segregated and coloured people are not allowed. They talk to the mother of a teenager named Tommy Lee who disappeared. The police searched the theatre again and again. The mother sits in the diner all the time watching the cinema through the window and waiting for Tommy. They can hear that movies are still being played in the movie house and the waiter explains that Mr. Pye the projectionist is still in there playing the movies to an empty house. The Doctor now wants to go inside so Belinda says, “Come on Velma” and he says, “Okay Fred!” He uses his sonic screwdriver to break the chain. They enter the cinema and call for Pye. He sees them from his booth and begs Mr. Ringading not to hurt them. They hear tap dancing and Mr. Ringading emerges from behind the curtains to do a self introductory song and dance. The Doctor observes that he is made of light. Ringading’s catchphrase is “Don’t make me laugh!” The Doctor realizes that the most dangerous thing about Ringading is his laugh. He laughs and it knocks some of the letters from the theatre marquee so that the remaining ones spell “harbinger”. The Doctor says that the gods of Chaos have harbingers. Ringading introduces himself as Lux Imperator the God of Light. They run from him and take shelter in the projection booth. Pye says he continuously plays movies to feed Lux. He explains that his wife died but Lux brought her back through Pye’s home movies of her. Belinda finds a strip of film hanging with 15 frames. The Doctor says that Lux has trapped each of the audience members in celluloid. Lux enters the booth under the door and realizes the Doctor must be the one the other gods fought with. Lux turns the projectors on the Doctor and Belinda and turns them into cartoons. At first they are extremely simple until Belinda says, “Your life is terrifying! I don’t think you’ll ever get me home!” Suddenly her image gains more definition and the Doctor concludes that it was because she said something with depth. He tries it by explaining to her that he’s the last of the Time Lords and he also becomes more rounded. They continue like this as they each become more and more real until they are but then they are still trapped inside of the cartoon background. They start to pull down their frames faster and faster until they are free. Suddenly a cop enters the theatre with Tommy’s mother and with his gun drawn. He demands answers from the Doctor but the Doctor tells him his continuity is off. This is Miami but he is wearing a New York police uniform. The Doctor realizes they are still inside a movie and they can’t get out by pulling frames. They have to push the fourth wall. They step out of a TV screen into the living room of some fans watching Doctor Who. Two of the fans are surprised but a third says she knew it would happen because it was leaked online. The Doctor then learns that he is a fictional character on a TV show. They all say their favourite episode is “Blink” but the current Doctor keeps citing some of his own adventures, however they still say it’s the one with David Tennant’s Doctor. Then they tell the Doctor and Belinda that they aren’t fictional but they the fans are. Then they tell them it’s time for the third act and so they have to go back in and fight. That means that when the Doctor and Belinda leave the fans will cease to exist. They pull the frame down and the Doctor and Belinda are in a blank space. The Doctor says the only way out is to stop the film. If a film stops while being projected it will burn. They stretch out to fill the frame and stop it from moving. It burns all around them and suddenly they are free. The Doctor has a third degree burn on his hand but heals it with light from within. Lux however observes this and sees that the Doctor has exact what he wants. Suddenly strips of film shoot out to wind around the Doctor. He is tied to the wall in front of the projector window. The projector shoots through the Doctor and sends his energy to Lux, making him more and more real. Belinda goes to the film shelves and knocks all the canisters into a pile. She tells Pye that she needs matches to burn the film. He is reluctant because he doesn’t want to lose his wife but she appears before him and hands him a box of matches. He burns the movies and the projector booth blows up, knocking the Doctor into the aisle with sunlight shining through the hole in the wall. Bathed in sunlight, Lux grows larger and larger as he floats out of the theatre and into the sky to become one with all light. The fifteen missing audience members then emerge from the cinema. Mrs. Flood appears at the end to point at the Tardis disappearing. How did she get to 1952 Florida? The fans are watching and suddenly realize they didn’t die. 

            Lux was played by Alan Cumming (He played King James in an earlier episode), who started appearing in high school plays then worked with the Carnoustie Theatre Club and the Carnoustie Music Society. He graduated from high school early. He studied at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama and earned a BA in Dramatic Studies. He formed a successful cabaret act with Forbes Masson called “Victor and Barry”. he made his professional stage acting debut in MacBeth. His TV debut was as a regular on the soap opera “Take the High Road” in 1980. He co-starred in the BBC sitcom “The High Life”. His London debut was in “Conquest of the South Pole”, for which he won an Olivier Award for Most Promising Newcomer. In 1991 he won another for Best Comedy Performance of the Year in “Accidental Death of An Anarchist”. His film debut was in Prague in 1992, and he was nominated for a BAFTA. He co-starred in Bernard and the Genie. He won the 1994 Best Actor in a Musical Olivier for Cabaret. His Hollywood debut was in Circle of Friends. He co-starred in Buddy. He made his Broadway debut in Cabaret in 1998 and won a Tony. He played Nightcrawler in X-Men 2 (He’s supposed to play the character again in Avengers: Doomsday). He co-starred in Son of the Mask. He co-wrote, co-directed and starred in The Anniversary Party. He produced and co-starred in Full Grown Men. he wrote the novel Tommy’s Tale in 2002. He has his own cologne called “Cumming”. His 2014 memoir is called Not My Father’s Son. he’s an Officer of the Order of the British Empire. he owns Cummings Club in New York. he co-hosted the 69th Annual Tony Awards. 

            After supper I went to wash the dishes. I had left a paper towel on top of the stove that I’d used as a napkin during my meal. The towel was moving and obviously there was a mouse underneath. I grabbed it and could feel and hear it squirming and squeaking under the towel as I walked over to the window, opened it and released it onto the ledge. It immediately jumped down to the foliage below. That’s one mouse gone.