The Antichrist

            On Wednesday I was a lot more flexible than the day before after my bicycle accident on Monday. Forward bending was still painful but this time I could actually touch my feet. It was also still difficult to do a split with my left leg forward. When I tried to lift myself up from the floor on my left foot and left hand I was able to do it for a split second, so that’s progress. 

            I still wasn’t quite able to memorize the third verse of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg but I’m pretty sure I’ll have it in my head on Thursday. 

            I weighed 88.15 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since last Wednesday. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the first of four sessions. After the initial tuning it stayed in tune the whole time. 

            I went over to Freedom Mobile to pay for my January phone plan. Then I called AMI electronics about my Sony Dolby double cassette player but they still hadn’t looked at it to give me an estimate. He mentioned how much stuff they have piled up there and I said I noticed and wondered how they ever got it all fixed. He said they fix about twenty pieces of equipment every day. 

            I rode downtown to look for a new backpack because my Samsonite one of almost the last three years has one zipper that’s finished and another that’s pretty much gone. I went to College Park because that’s where I bought my Samsonite backpack but the store was gone. I used the wifi at College Park to look for another store and found out they have Samsonite backpacks at Staples. I went there but they didn’t have Samsonite in-store. They did have Swiss Gear, which was the kind I had before the Samsonite and it was on sale for $94 and change. I decided on the Targus Voyager II, which seemed more sturdy, more plush inside, and had more pockets. It cost me $169.50. 

            I had to pee really bad but the Staples washroom was out of order. I walked up to University Centre where a security guard directed me to the public washroom in a terse tone as if I’d offended her by asking. 

            On the way home I stopped at Freshco but the grapes were all too soft so I walked over to Metro. They don’t price match but their green grapes were relatively cheap though not as cheap as what I would have price matched. I got five bags of fairly firm green ones. 

            I weighed 88.3 kilos at 16:25. I had a late lunch of Sky Flakes with blue cheese and a glass of limeade with a dash of rum. 

            It was a little late for a siesta but I knew I wouldn’t be functional unless I had some sleep. I went to bed from 17:00 to 18:00. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:22. 

            I reviewed part of side 1 of the cassette recording of what sounds like the second half of my 20,000 Poets Under the League poetry slam from 1997 that was hosted by Cad Gold Jr. although he still called himself Cad Lowlife back then. I think this was my first slam. 

            I compared the video of my song practice performance of “Please Don’t Quit Me Now”. on September 4, 2024 to that of September 6 of the same year and I hit a wrong chord on September 4. I compared September 10 to September 6 and saw that September 6 is a better looking video. I compared September 16 to September 6 and September 16 has some wrong chords. I compared September 26 to September 6 and saw that September 6 looks better. I compared September 28 to September 6 and September 6 is still the best looking video. I compared October 2 of that year to September 6 and September 6 still stands out. I compared October 8 to September 6 and September 6 is the winner. It’s not good enough for YouTube but I’ll make a movie of it with the audio just for archiving. 

            I had two glasses of Creemore before supper. I heated some frozen Buffalo wings and some wedge oven fries and had them with another beer while watching season 27, episode 6 of South Park.

            All the kids at South park Elementary are obsessed with the 6-7 fad. Butters tells his friends he woke up around 6:07 and then everybody shouts “67!” and then teeter their hands up and down as if weighing something in them. PC Principal calls an assembly and says there’s some Satanic numerology going on. He introduces the highest authority on Biblical prophecies and Jesus thinks he’s going to introduce him but he calls up Peter Thiel. Thiel says the antichrist might arrive in 6 to 7 weeks and so all the kids shout “67!” Thiel says when god exiled Satan from Heaven he shrank Satan’s anus to the size of a pinhole so he couldn’t get pregnant with the Antichrist. But that has changed since he and Trump became lovers because Trump has a penis the size of a pin and that’s how Satan was able to get pregnant. 

            Meanwhile Trump and Satan are in prenatal class. Trump says he’s bored and Satan angrily says he can go home and jerk off. He does so and always with a pair of tweezers. J.D. Vence interrupts to inform him that they’ve shut down all but one abortion clinic and suggests that Trump could go and talk with the doctor who runs the last one. 

            Jesus tells PC Principal he doesn’t think he fits in at the kind of Christian school that South Park has become. He introduces Jesus to his wife who only recently became a Christian. She used to be called Strong Woman but now she is Strong Christian Woman but the main difference seems to be that she now has large breast implants. They take Jesus on a blind date with a recent Christian convert named Peggy Rockbottom who also has large breast implants. She says she became Christian because she was sick of wokeness and now guys are always checking out her Christianity. She says she’s never read the Bible but she’s listened to lots of podcasts about it. She thinks Greta Thunberg is the Antichrist.

            Meanwhile every time Cartman gets someone to say “67” he begins to uncontrollably projectile vomit. 

           Trump goes to the abortion clinic and asks the doctor to perform an abortion on Satan while he’s asleep. He says he wouldn’t know how to perform an abortion on Satan. 

           Peter Thiel tells the South Park staff that to cure the students of the 67 cult he needs access all student records and all CCTV footage of the school. Jesus doesn’t think it’s right to be spying on people, especially children. One staff member thinks this Christian stuff has gone too far and PC Principal begins beating him up. We learn that Peter Thiel is working for J.D. Vence on a mission to stop the Antichrist from being born so Vence can become president. Vence is talking to him from Trump’s bathroom where Towelie is listening. 

            Jesus tells PC Principal that he still thinks the most important thing about Christianity is love. PC is surprised and asks Jesus if he’s a fag. 

            Thiel goes to Cartman’s house as the music of Tubular Bells from the Exorcist is playing. He reads passages from the Bible that contain 67 and Cartman keeps puking and laughing. Thiel tells Mrs. Cartman he has to take her son to Washington because he is the key. 

            Jesus confronts PC Principal about his type of Christianity and accuses him of bullying people with the Bible. PC begins punching Jesus in the face but Jesus just walks away. Jesus goes for a long walk, then rolls up his sleeves and returns to the Cheesecake Factory where he left PC and takes Peggy with him. Then Jesus shaves off his beard and says, “Let’s fuckin go!” 

            The Antichrist here seems to represent people posing as Christians who aren’t. The far right might say that wokeism is the Antichrist whereas the far left would say that bigotry and an obsession with saying whatever you want being the same as free speech is the Antichrist. Most people would say these days that Christianity is about love but was it always? The fact as that without conquests by Christian armies and forced conversions most of us would never have heard of Christianity in order to say it’s about peace and love.