Les Claypool

            On Thursday morning I had a little more flexibility than the day before and it’s been improving every day since Monday’s bike accident. I was able with difficulty to touch my fingers on each side of my feet during forward bending. 

            I finally memorized the third verse of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. There are no actual verses left. Just two monologues and three choruses. I already know the choruses but the monologues are going to take some time. 

            I weighed 89.25 kilos before breakfast. I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the second of four sessions. 

            I weighed 90.05 kilos before lunch, which is the most I’ve weighed in the early afternoon since November 30. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. I was afraid while riding up the hill of Brock Avenue because of wiping out on the ice on Monday. But I’ve climbed Brock hundreds of times in the winter and only that time was it slippery. 

            I weighed 89.6 kilos at 18:15. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:33. 

            I started listening to side two of the cassette recording of my first 20,000 Poets Under the League poetry slam. 

            I reviewed the video of my song practice electric performance of “Ne me quitte pas” from September 23, 2024, and it wasn’t very good. There are no other versions that I highlighted. That session is already in Movie Maker so it might not be too much trouble to see how it comes out with the recorded audio. I reviewed the video of my September 18, 2024 performance of “Please Don’t Quit Me Now”. I didn’t have time to compare it to October 6, 2024 but September 18 is the day I had a big honking hair on my shirt for the whole session. Normally I would have gone over it with a lint roller and gotten it off but I forgot that day. 

            I had a potato with gravy, the rest of the roasted chicken, the last two pieces of the frozen Buffalo wings and the rest of the cranberry sauce while watching season 28, episode 2 of South Park.

            The Marsh family is homeless and has to move in with Randy’s father in his little space in the retirement home. 

            On the site of the demolition of the east wing of the White House Satan is surprised to learn Trump is building a ballroom. He thought it would be a nursery for their baby. Satan also learns there is a plot to stop the baby from being born and doesn’t know that Trump and Vance are behind it. The Attorney General Pam Bondi always has Trump’s shit on her nose from kissing his ass. Stephen Miller thinks that the destruction of the east wing may have unleashed a vengeful wrath. 

            Peter Thiel is in a motel with Cartman under heavy sedation, waiting to take him to Washington. Vice President J.D. Vance calls to tell him it’s not safe yet. 

            Kyle and Kenny visit Stan in the retirement home. Stan says the problem is that South Park sucks now because of all the politics and they agree. They start a South Park Sucks Now online community. The next day it has 756,000 followers. Stan introduces the South Park Sucks Now Crypto Currency Coin. Kyle doesn’t like the idea but Stan is motivated by homelessness. 

            Trump says ever since he tore down the east wing this thing keeps appearing. Now it’s everywhere he goes and he can’t get away from it. Then he points in the corner and it’s there. It is a fashionably dressed woman with a wide brimmed hat over her face standing perfectly still and it’s obviously Trump’s wife Melania. Someone points that fact out to Trump and he asks, “What does it want?” 

            Stan hires Kyle’s cousin Kyle Schwartz as his crypto advisor. Kyle Broflovski argues “It’s not about a coin. It’s about a movement” but they decide to use that phrase as their slogan to sell the bit coin. 

            Some paranormal investigators analyze the shit on Bondi’s nose and some of it is made of Trump’s semen, indicating that he eats his own cum. Trump has them arrested. 

            Kyle quits because of the bit coin thing. He says you can’t fix things if you’re only thinking about yourself. Kyle Schwartz meets with Don Jr. at the White House to promote the bit coin and get approval. Pam Bondi calls everyone to the dining room for a séance. Pam calls for the presence in the hat to leave the president alone. Melania appears and Pam is taken over. She points at Vance and shouts “Deception!” But Kyle Schwartz thinks it’s about him and admits that Bitcoin is all deception and begs not to be haunted anymore. The ten year old Kyle is arrested and put in prison for ten years. So Stan’s bitcoin crashes. 

            The songwriter and singer of the South Park theme is Les Claypool, who went to high school with Kirk Hammett of Metallica. He auditioned for Metallica on bass but they thought he was too good and too funky. He says he always wanted to make money from what he did best but there was no market for masturbation and so he settled on the bass. Rolling Stone ranks him as one of the greatest bass players of all time. His band Primus played the South Park theme. They had hits with “My Name is Mud”, “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver”, and “Tommy the Cat”, which they performed in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. He has a band called Sausage consisting of the original members of Primus. He is also in the band Claypool Lennon Delerium with Sean Lennon. He is additionally a member of Oysterhead with Stewart Copeland, Colonel Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains, Fearless Flying Frog Brigade, Fancy Band. and Holy Mackerel. He owns a boutique winery called Claypool Cellars. He wrote and directed the mockumentary Electric Apricot: Quest for Festeroo. He wrote the novel South of the Pumphouse.