I weighed 88.35 kilos before breakfast.
I played my Kramer electric during song practice and it stayed in tune about half the time.
Around midday I cleaned the warm mist humidifier that’s been running sometimes during the week and it took about half the usual time. Right now I have no humidifier plugged in and hopefully won’t need one again until fall.
I weighed 89.75 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar and a glass of iced tea.
In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back.
I weighed 88.95 kilos at 17:50.
I was caught up in my journal at 18:30.
I tried recording again for the first time after getting my Yamaha receiver fixed on Friday but the right channel still didn’t appear on my audio interface. However after I fast forwarded the cassette tape and rewound it I got both channels and was able to successfully digitize side two of the tape of the session at Mike’s place with him playing drums and me on guitar and vocals. There are so many factors that can cause the right channel to drop out even with the stereo fixed. There’s still the tape itself and also the cables leading to the interface. When I played it back the left channel of the interface wasn’t blinking. Of course that would only have mattered if I was recording the playback but it’s just weird. When I jiggled the cable though I got both channels again. Anyway now that I have the receiver fixed and I have a stereo breakout to create two channels in Audacity I have to re-record all of the stereo tapes I digitized. It’s kind of comical in a sad way because I first digitized all the tapes with the MP3 convertor but it was glitchy and caused skipping, then I did almost all of them with my tape deck but found the right channel wasn’t working. Now I have to do them all a third time. This could only happen to me.
I went online and filled out my Ontario.ca Jury Form. The questions stopped after I checked that I’ve been convicted of a criminal offense for which I haven’t received a pardon. That’s from when the cops planted hashish on me when I was 18, so I could easily pardoned but since I wasn’t guilty it seems silly to ask for a pardon for something I didn’t do. I’m certainly not going to get a pardon just so I can serve on a jury.
I renewed my application for the Toronto Transitional Housing allowance because it brings in $250 a month.
I slightly grilled nine already cooked cheese sausages. I ate one and then sliced two for a pizza on multigrain sandwich bread with olive paste, marinara, tomato pesto, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 7, episode 6 of The Carol Burnett Show.
During the audience warmup, four Campfire Girls come up to declare Carol an honourary Campfire Girl and to give her three Campfire Girl dolls for her daughters.
Carol announces that Vicki Lawrence’s record “The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia” has now sold 3 million copies.
John Parker (played by Jack Weston) comes to Helen Benson’s (played by Carol) apartment on a computer date but it turns out they don’t have a lot in common. He doesn’t like music and can’t swim. She doesn’t like sky diving. He wonders why the computer picked their names. She says, “Speaking of names, the most common surname in the world is Chang, which makes up between 9.7% and 12.1% of the Chinese population (It’s actually Wang). They discover that what they have in common is a passion for trivia and it literally turns them on. They suddenly love each other. He asks her to marry him and promises to always be true but she quotes trivia about a man who was married 26 times. John counters with the longest marriage ever recorded but it’s not enough and she asks him to leave. But even as he is leaving they keep spouting trivia and continue getting hot. They are kissing again but John says his parents had a record 68 children and she says for him to get out. After he leaves she says the oldest living virgin died at 108 but she’s going to beat her record.
Ken Berry and the Ernie Flatt Dancers do a song and tap dance to “It’s Not Where You Start” by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields from the 1973 musical Seesaw.
In an operating room Ken Berry has acute appendicitis and Dr. Bennet is about to operate. He asks Nurse Bennett for a scalpel but she does not respond. Instead she tells him she wants a divorce. He says it’s not the time but she insists. Ken says, “Please give him the scalpel” but she says, “You men always stick together!” The doctor asks the other nurse to take the instruments but Nurse Bennett throws them on the floor. Ken says the anaesthetic is wearing off and he’s feeling pain. Nurse Bennett tells him, “You don’t know what pain is!” Ken suggests they take a vacation together. Bennett says he was planning one. Suddenly Nurse Bennett asks for forgiveness. They’re about to continue the operation when Nurse Dawson says, “You didn’t mention a vacation to me!” The doctor says, “Shhhh!” She says, “Don’t shhh me! Just because I’m the other woman! You said you were gonna get rid of that old broomstick!” Nurse Bennett starts to blow up again when Doctor Bennett storms out of the operating room. Nurse Dawson chases after him. Doctor Dawson (Jack) is about to take over the operation but Nurse Bennett begins to argue with him. They both storm out leaving Ken alone in panic. Then Tim Conway comes in looking totally insane and stumbles around the operating room. Carol comes out and says they called Tim this morning and “He was nice enough to do this even though we’re not paying him” (a joke I’m sure).
Carol, as a kind of nerdy beatnik character sings “The Lady is a Tramp, by Richard Rogers and Lorenz Hart from the 1937 musical Babes in Arms.
Carol plays a parody of Ethel Merman in a nightclub. A customer (Jack) offers to buy her a drink but she just responds with a lyric from “I Get a Kick Out of You” by Cole Porter: “I get no kick from champagne…”. He asks if she’d join him for dinner and says he likes her a lot. “She starts singing “He likes me…”. He says, “This is funny” She sings “It’s funny” but he puts his hand over her mouth. He asks if it’s possible to say anything that isn’t a song. The waiter brings her usual, vodka and throat spray. She hits a high note and breaks every glass in the place. He says, “You’re gonna drive me back to my analyst!” She sings, “You don’t need analyzing, it is not so surprising”. He shouts “Shut up!” He says he can yell louder than her and they both start singing, “Anything you can do I can do better”. Then he stops and says he’s leaving but she jumps on his back and sings, “Wherever you go…” as she rides him away.
Harvey plays Dr. Jekyll who drinks a potion that turns him into Ms. Hyde. There’s a knock and she drinks to change back. Dr. Kimble invites Jekyll to meet his cousin Rowena. Jekyll goes to meet Rowena (played by Vicki) but he feels a transformation coming and says he’s going into the closet to remove his tonsils. He comes out as Heidi Hyde. Rowena excuses herself and comes back as Kimble. Kimble tries to kiss Heidi but she grows a moustache. She goes for fresh air and Nair behind a curtain. Kimble opens the curtain and asks Jekyll what he’s doing. He says he’s voting. They begin to fight but Kimble becomes Rowena. Jekyll and Rowena begin to dance but he becomes Heidi. Then Rowena becomes Kimble. Then Heidi becomes Jekyll and the two men dance and decide to stay that way. Then Jekyll turns back to Heidi. Kimble wants to get married but Heidi wonders whether her or Rowena would go into labour and says, “Not me Charlie!” Kimble says he’s been experimenting on a new potion that splits the chromosomes, divides the genes, rearranges the nervous system forcing a cause and effect syndrome in the pituitary glands. It enables the brain to divide into two entities so they can become four people. Heidi says it won’t work. He says, “Okay here’s something the Avon Lady dropped off” They drink it and become Jekyll, Heidi, Kimble, and Rowena but each man has their woman side’s voice now and the women have the men’s voices.
The closing number is “New Elizabethan Rhythm” with Carol, Vicki, Ken and the dancers in period costumes. I get the impression this song was created just for that number.
Arnie Kogen was one of the writers for this episode. He started writing for Mad Magazine after college and ultimately wrote more than 100 film and TV parodies for Mad. He wrote jokes for Don Adams and other standup comedians. He wrote for Johnny Carson, Jackie Gleason, 13 episodes of Empty Nest, Candid Camera, Dean Martin, Tim Conway, Rich Little, Donny and Marie Osmand, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Newhart, Mad TV, Flip Wilson, Sammy Davis Jr., Debbie Reynolds, Connie Stevens, Shelley Berman, and The Golden Globe Awards. He co-wrote the screenplay for Birds Do It. He won three Emmy Awards. His son Jay Kogen was one of the original writers for The Simpsons.
No comments:
Post a Comment