I worked out the chords to all but the final line of the chorus of “La complainte de Bonnot” by Boris Vian. I should have the chorus done on Tuesday and that will likely complete the chord pattern for the song.
I memorized the first verse of “Je t’aime. Moi aussi” (I Love You. So Do I). I transcribed the chords for the first verse of “Je t’aime. Moi non plus” (I Love You. Neither Do I) and placed them on the first verse of the parody. There are only one and a half verses left to learn.
I weighed 89.95 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since June 30.
I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio during song practice and it went out of tune more than half the time.
At 13:00 I left for the UofT School of Dentistry for my quarterly cleaning. My hygienist Villy is obviously Eastern European but I never knew from where. She mentioned this time that she’s from Bulgaria because she thinks the health care is better there. From what I’ve read there are only faster wait times in Bulgaria if you pay. She also said that Bulgarians eat more vegetables than Canadians. She might be right about that. She told me that my new student periodontist is Dr. Lambert and she says I’ll like him. I was worried because I’d gotten used to Dr. Xia but then he graduated and someone new is taking over my implant. I had to pay $215 for the cleaning. My next appointment is November 16 and then it will be covered by the federal plan.
I weighed 89.75 kilos at 15:45.
I took a siesta at 16:20 and didn’t wake up until 18:20.
I weighed 90.75 kilos at 19:05. June 29 was the last evening when I was so hard on the scale.
I was a day behind on my journal and worked on getting caught up but I was still behind at suppertime.
It was too hot to use the stove so I just had a cold chicken leg with salsa and skyr and a glass of Winter Beard stout. My daughter bought it for me for my birthday. It has coffee in it and the foam tastes interesting but I’m not a stout person. I ate while watching season 10, episode 16 of The Carol Burnett Show.
During the audience warmup someone asks Carol how to overcome stage fright. She says to imagine the audience as vulnerable in some way such as sitting on the toilet.
Someone asks Carol how she keeps her nice shape. She says she keeps it because no one else wants it.
Someone with a southern US accent asks Carol where the hell she ever got the idea for the Mama’s Family skit because she has some relatives that are deeply offended. Carol says Eunice is going to go on the Gong Show in a couple of weeks. She did and I guess it was part of her show and of the Gong Show. She sang “Feelings” and got gonged.
Someone says he thinks Carol was a lot heavier when she was on The Garry Moore Show. She tells him he must have a fat television because she was actually a lot skinnier then.
Carol says she’ll be doing the play Same Time Next Year with Dick Van Dyke in a few months.
Carol and Tim play a married couple in separate beds. The phone rings and Tim answers it. He says “Hello?”, waits a moment and then hangs up. Carol asks who was it. He says he doesn’t know because they hung up. She asks why they hung up and he says they probably had the wrong number. She asks if it’s a signal. “Is what a signal?” Your friend that called.” “He’s not my friend.” “How do you know it’s a he?” “I don’t.” “Then why did you say he?” “It’s a figure of speech.” “Is that part of your plan?” “What plan?” “To confuse me.” “How would I confuse you?” “You just said it was a he when it’s really a she.” “She who?” “Don’t ask me. She’s your friend.” “There’s no she. It’s just a wrong number.” “Is she pretty?” “Who?” “Your girlfriend!” He gets up and closes the window then gets back into bed and says, “It’s just a wrong number!” “Was that a signal?” “What?” “Closing the window?” “I closed the window because I was cold!” “Why didn’t you close it before you got the phone signal?” “I wasn’t cold before I got the signal!” “So it is a signal!” He turns on the lamp and says, “There’s no signal!”, then turns it off. “Are you sure she saw that?” “What?” “The light going on and off.” “Did who see that?” “You tell me, she’s your friend!” “Martha, go to sleep! It’s 2:30!” How did you know it was 2:30?” “Because that’s what the clock says!” “Or is it because she said she was gonna call at 2:30?” “Who?” “The girl that’s waiting outside for your signals!” “Why in your wildest imagination would I mess around with another woman? You know I love you!” Martha apologizes and admits she’s jealous. He reaffirms that he loves her and says he has to get up early. When he sees she’s asleep he gets out of bed and takes off his pajamas to show he’s dressed. He heads for the door and then we hear a shotgun being cocked. Martha says, “You open that door and I’ll blow you in half!” He waves his arms at the window and then goes back to bed.
Carol is sitting alone on her couch looking bored. She turns on the radio and someone sings “Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week” then she switches it off. She can hear a party going on in the apartment next door. She calls up her neighbour and asks to borrow some ice and then says she’ll be right over. She goes to her bedroom and a second later comes out all dressed for a party. She is on her way with an empty ice tray when her doorbell rings and it’s her neighbour with some ice, saying he thought he’d save her the trip and gives her a bag of ice. She calls her neighbour again, this time pretending to be the operator and tells him his neighbour’s phone is out of order but there’s an emergency and she has to call her mother. She asks if she can come in and use his phone. Soon he knocks to give her the message and invites her to come over to use his phone. But suddenly her phone rings and he hears it’s no longer out of order so he goes back to his party. Someone rings her doorbell and it’s a party invitee who got the wrong door. Carol says she was invited to the party but her date canceled and she didn’t want to go alone but suggests she could go as his escort. He surprises her by stepping into her apartment and says he was just going to the party to pick someone up but since he’s met her he doesn’t have to. He grabs her and tries to make out but she punches him so hard that he lands in the hall bumping his head against her neighbour’s door. Her neighbour opens the door and welcomes him. Then Carol’s husband (played by Tim) comes out and asks her if she’s coming to bed. She turns on the TV and it’s the end of The Carol Burnett Show. When she hears Carol sing, “I’m so glad we had this time together” she smashes the screen.
The Ernie Flatt dancers do a ballet, the video of which sometimes slowed down, to “Nadia’s Theme” by Barry DeVorzon and Perry Botkin. It’s the theme music for the soap opera The Young and the Restless.
Carol comes out in a black gown followed by Harvey and Tim in coats and tails. They bow and then Carol sits at the piano while Harvey sits in a chair with a recorder and Tim sits behind a harp. Vicki comes out and stands in front of them in a black gown. They begin to play cacophonously while Vicki sings some non-melodic parody of opera. Then they all bow.
In the next skit Vicki answers the door and is greeted by a vacuum cleaner salesman played by Tim. She lets him come in to demonstrate the machine. As he begins his spiel he starts crying. He suddenly says, “You’re not gonna buy it!” and starts to pack up. Vicki says she wants to see the rest of the demonstration. He says she just wants him to clean her house for her but that she won’t buy one. She tells him to sit down while she tries the vacuum cleaner out on her own. He asks if it’s going to take long. She tries it and it seems to be working great. She asks how much it is. He says he doesn’t know and throws the brochure at her for her to look it up. She sees it’s $89.50 and gives him $90. He tries to hand it back because he doesn’t have any change. She says he can keep it. He says, “Big spender!” and heads for the door. She asks for a receipt but he says “So you can come after me if it breaks down? Not on your life!” She says, “Well I’m sorry!” and he says, “You should be!” and leaves.
The do a parody of the 1953 movie “Torch Song”, with Carol playing Joan Crawford playing Jenny Driver. She’s a Broadway star and a diva. She has one pose she’s famous for where one leg goes out to the side. She rehearses with a male dancer and warns him that if he’s not perfect he will never work again. The men dance while she poses. Meanwhile Harvey’s extremely nearsighted character Ty Crackerbee wanders into the studio. Jenny fires her dance partner and the piano player. Ty stumbles to the piano and begins to play her theme song “Torchy Lady”. She criticizes the tempo but he insists it’s better. He says just as her song says she needs a man because she’s a woman that’s what she really needs. And if a woman doesn’t have a man she’s driven to careers and fame and fortune but she’s never happy with those things because they’re masculine and if she accepts them she loses her femininity. He walks away and she goes to her dressing room where her maid (played by Vicki) is in distress. Her husband is in the hospital and they can’t pay the bill because their children are starving. Jenny says she wishes she had problems that small and relates how her house is so big it takes days to find a bathroom. Jenny looks in her scrapbook full of thousands of rave reviews and reads one that refers to her as a radiant woodnymph. Then she remembers that Ty called her that minutes ago. Now she sees that the review of her first show was written by Ty Crackerbee. She realizes he’s loved her all these years and goes after him. He hasn’t gone far because he’s still bumping into walls trying to find the exit. He asks how she can love a man who can’t read the phone book? She says she’s read it and it’s dull. She says she’ll give up the tinsel to become his woman. They sing a song called “Goodbye Broadway”. She lists all the things she’s giving up and he lists all the things she’ll be saying hello to like washing dishes and other housework. But when he starts talking about maternity clothes and diapers she drops out of the duet. Then she trips him and kicks his thick glasses away, singing “so long four eyes and hello Broadway”.
Theatres were the main gathering places in most towns and cities of the US in its early years. The first New York theatre in the Broadway neighbourhood was the 2000 seat Park Theatre in 1798. In 1829 Niblo’s Garden opened on Broadway and became a major night spot with both plays and concerts. The Astor Opera House opened in 1847. The lower class audiences did not mix well with the upper class attendees and riots sometimes broke out. British actors dominated New York theatre and the first US star was Edwin Forrest. The greatest British actor of his generation was William Charles Macready. Both actors had a viciously loyal fan base. Forrest’s fans tended to be working class and anti-British. On May 7, 1849 hundreds of Forrest supporters attended a Macready performance of MacBeth at the Astor and pelted him with rotten eggs. On May 10 an even bigger riot took place and 21 to 32 people were killed mostly by the police. After the riot, theatre in New York became divided along class lines: opera for the upper classes, minstrel shows for the middle class, and variety shows for the working class. The working class variety shows evolved into vaudeville. The world’s first vaudeville theatre opened on Broadway in 1881.
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