Dinah Shore

            On Wednesday morning I was hoping that my steaming of the baseboards near my bed the night before had wiped out the bedbugs but when I checked there were more than usual. Apparently this is normal because it drove the ones out that were too far in to be killed on contact. 

            I worked out the chords for three quarters of the first verse of “La complainte de Bonnot” by Boris Vian. I should have that verse done on Thursday and therefore probably also the all of the second verse. Then there’s the chorus. 

            I finished revising my translation of “Ça” (That), the parody of the Serge Gainsbourg song “Je t’aime. Moi non plus (I Love You. Neither Do I)”. I’ll run through the French text with the audio tomorrow to see if I split the two voices correctly. 

            I weighed 89.6 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin during song practice for the last of four sessions and it always went out of tune. 

            I finished painting the four floral reliefs on my future bathroom mirror frame with the “crazy in love” shade of pink. On Friday I’ll touch up the main parts of the frame with blue bliss. If I don’t smudge the pink while doing so, on Sunday I’ll mount the mirror. Once it’s mounted I might see the need in the different light for pink and blue touch ups. 

            I weighed 90.8 kilos before lunch, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the early afternoon since last Wednesday. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 89.5 kilos at 17:55. 

            I worked on getting caught up in my journal. 

            I was thinking that it would be too hot to cook but it cooled down just enough. I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with rosée tomato sauce, tomato pesto, oven fries, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 10, episode 8 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            Carol says her favourite actor of all time is James Stewart but she introduces a young actor in the audience who is her favourite actor today: Anthony Hopkins. 

            Paul (played by Harvey) and Celeste (played by Carol) are two executives who meet for what appears to be a business lunch. Paul presents Celeste with an agenda and calls her attention to item 1, which is his proposal of marriage to her. He says, “We’ve been enjoying each other’s company with escalating regularity since fiscal 74 with increasing profits”. Celeste adds, “Except for that one dip in the second quarter of this year”. He provides her with various position papers for her to consider, titled: “Children”, “Religion”, and “Your Mother”. She wants him to go over the “Children” file with her. He’s calculated the optimum number of children at 1.3. She wants to know why he thinks marriage would increase their marginal utility over the long term. He says, “Based on an analysis of available data, I love you and you love me”. She makes some notes: “You love me and, what was it? I love you”. She says regarding the physical aspects of their relationship she has some reservations because of the second quarter dip. He says, “You must agree that I rallied during the following quarter”. She says it was a sluggish recovery at best. He goes to the washroom and she asks the waiter for the telephone. She punches the number and then in a little girl voice says, “Mommie he popped the question!” 

            Dinah Shore sings the 1975 song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon. 

            Tim (in his old man character) plays a butcher. Harvey comes in and asks for a quarter kilo of ground round. Tim tells him to take a number even though he’s the only customer. Harvey protests but he insists. Harvey gets number 28. Tim calls for #12 a couple of times, then goes back to the number indicator and calls out #13. Harvey insists on being served. Tim tries to reach under the counter for the round but can’t so he crawls in and swats a fly while he’s in there. He gets the round then puts it in the grinder but doesn’t have the strength to turn the crank. Harvey tries to help him and gets the crank started but his tie gets stuck while Tim keeps turning it. Tim takes a scissors and cuts Harvey’s tie. Harvey decides instead on a half a kilo of hotdogs. Tim tries to wrap them up but doesn’t have the strength to tear the butcher’s paper and ends up wrapping himself up. Harvey just decides to wear the hotdogs around his neck. He asks for a quarter kilo of Swiss Cheese. Tim starts playing the cheese like a flute, blowing into one hole and fingering the others. Tim accidentally pulls Harvey’s pants off and so he is standing there in his underwear when a lady walks in and flees in shock. She returns with a cop and Harvey is arrested for indecent exposure. 

            Carol says recently Gone With the Wind made its TV debut. They’ve put together a mini-version called Went With the Wind. Carol plays Starlet O’Hara. Vicki plays the excitable maid Sissy but thankfully not in blackface. She’s always shouting “Miss Starlet! Miss Starlet!” and Starlet has to slap her face. Tim plays Brashly Wilks and Dinah plays his cousin Melody. Starlet is in love with Brashly and considers Melody a rival. She tells Melody to stick her head in the punch bowl because she’s sure it could use more sugar. Melody does as she’s told. Brashly informs Starlet that he married Melody this afternoon. Then Starlet meets Rats Butler (in a great imitation of Clark Gable by Harvey). He tells her that he and her are cut from the same dirty cloth and if it weren’t for the war he’d marry her in a minute. She asks, “What war?” Then Sissy comes up and shouts that war has been declared. Rats says he’s going to war and asks Starlet for something to remember her by so she punches him in the gut. Both Rats and Brashly leave. Melody announces that she’s pregnant and that the baby’s coming now. Sissy says she doesn’t know nothin bout birthin no babies but Starlet slaps her and she says she’ll try. A Union soldier comes to the door to ask for a match so Sissy gives him some. Next thing they see is Atlanta burning. Starlet gives a speech while Sissy provides backing vocals. Four years later the plantation is run down and Sissy’s wearing rags as she announces that the war is over. A Yankee soldier comes to collect $300 back taxes on Terra. Starlet hits him with a chair and knocks him out. Brashly arrives and Starlet asks him for the $300 but he tells her his money went with the wind. She’s told that Rats Butler became a millionaire during the war. Starlet makes a dress out of her drapes including the curtain rod. Starlet comes down the stairs wearing her ridiculous curtain dress. Rats compliments it and she says she saw it in the window and couldn’t resist. He asks her to marry him and she says yes. The union soldier wakes up and turns out to be a minister so he performs the ceremony by saying I now pronounce you man and wife. She pays the Yankee the $300 and tells Sissy to show him the door. She says, “For $300 I’ll show him anything he wants”. Rats carries Starlet up the stairs and then he’s pooped. Starlet tries to kiss Brashly and Rats catches them . He swings at Brashly and punches Starlet, knocking her down the stairs. Melody stands at the top of the stairs and says she’s dying then collapses. She says she wants to talk to Starlet, who gets up and climbs the stairs. Melody wants Starlet to know how she feels then pushes her back down the stairs. Melody dies and Brashly leaves. Rats says he’s leaving Starlet. She asks what she’s going to do and he says, “Frankly my dear I don’t gi…” then she shuts the door on him. She asks Sissy what she’s going to do. Sissy slaps her and says she doesn’t give a damn. 

            The final musical sketch begins with the dancers moving to the 1928 song “Basin Street Blues” by Spencer Williams. Carol, Vicki and Dinah sing the song. Harvey pretends to play the trumpet then sings the 1926 song “The Birth of the Blues” by Ray Henderson, Buddy DeSylva, and Lew Brown. Dinah flirts with Harvey while singing her 1942 hit “The Mad About Him Sad About Him Howe Can I Be Glad Without Him Blues” by Larry Markes and Dick Charles. Harvey licks Dinah’s nose. Vickie flirts with him while singing the 1917 song “A Good Man is Hard to Find” by Eddie Green. Carol pushes her away and sings “I Ain’t Got Nobody” from 1911, which has disputed authorship. Then one of the dancers does a seductive dance and lures Harvey away. carol, Vicki and Dinah sing the 1920 song “Wang Wang Blues” by Henry Busse, Gussie Meuller, and Buster Johnson. They end with “Basin Street Blues”. 

             Dinah Shore was a cheerleader in high school. She majored in Sociology in college. While still in college she took voice and acting lessons and sang on the radio. After graduation she moved to New York. She made her first TV appearance in an experimental broadcast in 1937. She made her national radio debut in 1939 on Ben Bernie’s Orchestra. She sang with Xavier Cugat’s orchestra and recorded with him as well. She signed a recording contract with RCA in 1940. That year she became a featured vocalist on the radio show The Chamber Music Society of Lower Basin Street. The same year she became a regular on Eddie Cantor’s Time to Smile. She starred in 7 radio series from 1941 to 1954. She made her film debut in 1943 in Thank Your Lucky Stars. She was the first entertainer to visit the troops on the front lines during WWII. Her first #1 hit was Blues in the Night. Her song “Buttons and Bows” was #1 for ten weeks and the most popular song of 1948. “The Gypsy” and “The Anniversary Song” were also #1 hits. She had a string of 80 charted hits from 1940 to 1957. She hosted the radio show Birdseye Open House from 1943 to 1946. She co-starred in Up in Arms, Belle of the Yukon, Make Mine Music, Fun and fancy Free, Aaron Slick from Punkin Crick, She made her commercial TV debut on The Ed Wynn Show in 1949. She was the first female star to have her own prime time variety show, The Dinah Shore Show from 1951 to 1960, for which she won a Peabody Award in 1957. She hosted The Dinah Shore Chevy Show from 1956 to 1963. Her talk show Dinah lasted from 1974 to 1980. Starting in 1971 when she was 55 and he was 35 she had a 6 year love affair with Burt Reynolds. She wrote a cookbook called Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dinah. I steamed the bedroom again. When I picked up the steamer hot water on the top around the cap spilled on my right hand and scalded my index finger. It was a bit sore for the rest of the night. I used the narrower needlepoint attachment to get deeper under the baseboards near the bed.