Bananas in Danger

            I dreamed I was a transgender woman, although I wasn’t me at all. I was about 30, small and slim with short, reddish hair and I spent a lot of time in Toronto’s east end meeting with and listening to the problems of people that I’d known before my transition. It seemed I was some kind of counsellor.

            During my bike ride east along the Danforth, a couple of guys were ahead of me for quite a while but I eventually passed them. One of them, when he passed a cyclist with a red and white flag draped over his shoulders, called out to him, I think because he knew him, unless it was a world cup thing. Anyway, they pumped their fists in solidarity before my rival continued on.

            As I rode up Pharmacy Avenue I noticed that it was steeper than it had been the day before. Maybe there is a mechanism under the hill that facilitates the changing of the angle of incline. These kinds of things are way over my pretty little head. I finished exploring all of the streets south of St Clair on the west side of Warden Woods. I rode down Warden and found that the incline of that hill had not been changed at all. Scooting down Warden seems better than Pharmacy because there is a longer lasting green light at the bottom of the hill.

            I stopped at Freshco on the way home where I bought five bags of grapes, a bunch of bananas and some cheese. I also got a large tub of Imperial margarine that was on sale. I had a lot of hard Becel margarine at home that I’d gotten from the food bank, but it turned out to be stale. I’ve never seen the soft stuff go off, but that may be because of preservatives.

I usually buy the cheapest zero fat yogourt that they offer, which tends to be the halal stuff for $1.99. Every now and then the Astro, which is a little better, is on sale, and so I get that. But since I got the Greek yogourt from the food bank I realize that I like it a lot more and since I have a little more money these days than I’ve had for several years, I decided to splurge and buy the Liberté brand yogourt, even though it costs more than twice as much.

            On the way to my bike a guy behind me informed me that my bag was open and my bananas were in danger of falling out. My zipper had come apart, so I had to re-zip it till the teeth got a grip.

            When I got home the wifi was off and when I tried to reconnect I was asked for a password. I didn’t go downstairs right away to see if there was a new password because sometimes it’s just a glitch and the old password still works. A little after 20:00 it was clear that they’d changed their password, so I took my laptop downstairs and bought a small tea to find out the new password. It’s basically the old password but chopped in half. Now it’s just "coffee12”.

            I boiled a potato, heated up three pork ribs and had them with some gravy while watching Dobie Gillis.

            In the first story Dobie decides that he’s messed up Maynard by always taking care of him but he doesn’t have the heart to push him from the nest. Fate intervenes when Maynard’s father gets transferred to Cleveland and Maynard moves away. But through the mail and by phone Dobie still finds himself being a mother to Maynard. Dobie’s parents miss Maynard too and so when Maynard shows up at their door and asks to move in with them they agree. They almost immediately regret their decision because of the mess and the noise he makes. When they discover that Maynard’s parents have moved back to their town and have been there for as long as Maynard has, Dobie and his parents kick Maynard out.

            In the second, Dobie falls for a rich society girl named Samantha and lies to her that he’s also rich. But in order to earn $20 to take Samantha to the prom, Dobie gets a job as a waiter for an exclusive sorority function and he drags Maynard along too. They are warned that if they go to the second floor, where the girls' dorms are, they will be expelled. But Samantha arrives because she is considering pledging at this sorority. Dobie and Maynard go to great lengths to avoid being seen by Samantha and wind up hiding in a dorm room closet and come out in drag, with Maynard wearing a hat with a ribbon under his chin to cover his beard. They spend the rest of the show switching back and forth from drag to waiter’s clothing until they are finally caught.