Cliff Norton

            On Sunday morning I uploaded “S'il pleauvait des larmes” (If Our Tears Made Rainfall) by Boris Vian to my Christian’s Translations blog and started preparing it for publication. I memorized the second verse of his song “Tombée des nues” (Falling from the Clouds) by Serge Gainsbourg and almost nailed down the third. The song only has three verses repeated twice and so I should have it all in my head tomorrow. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos before breakfast, which is the least I’ve weighed in the morning since last Sunday. 

            Around midday I brought the big stepladder in from the roof and squeezed it into the bathroom to start sanding the walls. I got started on the upper left quarter of the eastern wall. Sanding the wall is a lot less annoying than the ceiling because I’m not directly under the dust. I didn’t even have to take a shower when I was done. I should have time to work on the upper right on Tuesday.

            I weighed 87.7 kilos before lunch. I had pita crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.05 kilos at 17:30. That’s the lightest I’ve been in the evening since July 7. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:23. 

            I took my camera and tripod out to look for people to put on video for my project. At Queen and West Lodge where everybody hangs around drinking, Sal called me over. He told me that Whispering Ghost with Wings of Silver, the guy I’ve been wanting to capture on video got beaten up a couple of days ago. Apparently he was attacked by skin heads at Christie Pits and they banged up his face. He didn’t have to go to the hospital so it looks like he’ll be okay. I walked to Sorauren and then back to my place. The sun clouded over and so I went upstairs for a few minutes. Then the sun came out again and I took another trip to Sorauren and back. 

            I opened the Movie Maker project for my August 20, 2023 song practice. I saved it as “The Wooden Leg (electric). I established the beginning and then synchronized the audio with the video. Next I’ll set the end and then cut out what follows. 

            I listened to the beginning of the next cassette tape in the pile that’s set for digitization. So far it’s Tom Smarda on guitar and the beginning of his song “This is my Prayer”. 

            I made pizza on a roti with Basilica sauce and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 5, episodes 15 and 16 of Bewitched. 

            This is a two part story that begins with Samantha’s black haired but otherwise identical cousin Serena riding a motorcycle into the house at 3:00. Darrin makes it clear she is unwelcome and so just for that she says she’s going to stay for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Darrin stupidly tells her that they are having an important dinner party tonight and she is not invited. Serena leaves but calls out, “See you at dinner!” The dinner is for a client named Clio Vaneta because Darrin is designing a campaign to advertize her product, Vino Vaneta. She’s very flirtatious with Darrin right in front of Samantha. Serena shows up but keeps herself invisible to everyone but Samantha. After dinner Clio asks Darrin to show her the gazebo and while they are alone she comes on very strong. She says he’ll be guaranteed her account if he goes back to Italy with her. Darrin gets free and excuses himself. Serena says, “Nobody makes a monkey out of my cousin”” and then turns Clio into a monkey. When Darrin finds out he again confronts Serena without tact. He orders her to change her back and then to get out of his life forever and then adds, “Did you hear me?” She says, “I heard the last part” and then disappears. 

            Part two begins with Darrin waking up after rerunning the events of the previous night in a dream and thinking it never really happened. But Clio is still a monkey. Serena finally responds to Samantha’s summons and agrees to reverse the spell but when they go out to where Clio was tied on the patio she is now gone. Serena babysits Tabitha while Samantha and Darrin search for Clio. Samantha learns from a little boy that his friend took the monkey home. She goes to the address and the boy’s mother says she sold her to a pet shop. The pet shop owner sold her to an organ grinder. Samantha finds Clio on the street with the organ grinder who refuses to sell her. He says with her he can make his dream come true. Ever since he came to the US he’s had one dream and that’s to go back to Italy. Samantha promises him a free trip to Italy. A cop comes along and asks to see his permit. He shows it but then he asks to see a license for the monkey but he doesn’t have one. The cop tries to take her into custody but she bites him and runs away. Then there is a chase of Clio by the cop, followed by the organ grinder, followed by Samantha. Samantha uses magic and heads them off. She takes Clio into an office building and the cop follows but then she goes into the ladies room. He’s about to go in when Samantha comes out with the now human again Clio and Serena. Samantha tells Serena she’s got to go back and babysit so Serena disappears in front of the cop. He says, “I just remembered something. This isn’t my beat.” Clio doesn’t remember anything but when Samantha takes her to Darrin she responds well to a new campaign. Samantha introduces the organ grinder with a new monkey and the slogan is, “Don’t monkey around with anything but the best. Drink Vino Vanita”. Clio loves it. Darrin never learns how to talk politely to Serena and he ends up with a big and long nose to show for it. 

            The organ grinder was played by Cliff Norton, who started as a radio disk jockey in 1937. He was a member of the cast of the radio series Terry and the Pirates. From 1949 to 1951 he was featured in comedy sketches on the TV variety show Garroway at Large. From 1960 to 1963 he performed comedy skits on the series Funny Mann. He was a regular on Your Show of Shows and Caesar’s Hour. He was also a panelist on the game show What’s Going On?. He had his own short-lived sitcom, The Public Life of Cliff Norton.