Richard X. Slattery

            On Tuesday morning I worked out the chords for the first verse of “S'il pleauvait des larmes” (If Our Tears Made it Rain) by Boris Vian. 

            I worked out the chords all the verses of “L'impression du déjà vu” (A Sense of Déjà Vu) by Serge Gainsbourg. I now only have the instrumental parts to figure out. 

            My landlady sent me an email telling me that tenants are still complaining that I play guitar and sing before 8:00. I’ve complied with her request since she asked on June 20 and I told her that I haven't played before 8:00. She then said for me not to play before 10:00 on the weekend. I told her she can’t keep changing the time. 

            I weighed 88.45 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since July 1. 

            I looked up the noise bylaw for Toronto and saw that on weekdays one is not supposed to make noise before 7:00 and on weekends and holidays not before 9:00. I’ve decided I’d better conform to the law and since I like to keep my practices at the same time I’ll change my start time to 9:00 for every day. I think that’s a far more than reasonable compromise and so if the landlady doesn’t like that she can go fuck herself. Her suggestion of 10:00 on weekends is just too much. Later she said she was okay with my compromise. Hopefully she’ll be off my back from now on. 

            I called the Parkdale Community Dental Clinic to cancel my cleaning on July 25 because Dr. Xia at the Grad School of Periodontics wants me to just have deep cleanings every three months at the school. I still need to get a filling for my top front left tooth because the white has partially come off. At the community clinic I wouldn’t be able to get a booking until at least October and even then it would be a different dentist because Dr. Lake is going on maternity leave. I think the nearest dentist is Dentistry on Queen West just on the other side of Dufferin so I called them. They’re covered by the federal plan and so I have an appointment for an examination tomorrow afternoon. 

            I weighed 87.9 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.35 kilos at 17:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 17:45. 

            The sun came out for a while and so I took my camera and tripod for a walk along Queen to see if I could find interesting people to put on video. I walked to Sorauren and then east to Elm Grove. I turned and went west again but by the time I got to Jameson the sun had clouded over again and so I went home. 

            In the Movie Maker project for my acoustic performance of “La jambe de bois” I synchronized the audio with the video. I set the video’s start time and finish time, added a fade to black at the end, and both sepia tone and water colour effects. I published it and tomorrow I’ll upload it to YouTube.

            In Movie Maker I imported the digital copy I made of Rob Siciliano’s “Heckle Night”. I found one of the three photos of Rob that exist online and filled up the video timeline with it. I published it and uploaded it to YouTube.

            I listened to part of the cassette recording of Tom Smarda and I rehearsing on January 6, 1994. We did “Megaphor”, “The Next State of Grace”, and “Calendar Girl” so far. I know we also did “Angeline” but I don’t know what else yet. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a piece of roast pork while watching season 4, episodes 24 and 25 of Bewitched. These were both kind of non-stories built awkwardly around situations. 

            In the first story Darrin gets mad because Samantha used magic to save the pancakes from burning. When he leaves for work he slams the door, which causes the “9” in 192 to flip so the address looks like 162. Samantha takes Tabitha to the doctor for a checkup but after she leaves a van from an artificial lawn company arrives to deliver a lawn to 162 Morning Glory Circle. Since no one answers they just install the lawn. Meanwhile When Darrin comes home and sees the lawn he thinks that Samantha used witchcraft to install a lawn and he thinks that she’s lying when she says she didn’t. He makes her cast a spell to remove it. Meanwhile Bill McLean from 162 Morning Glory Circle is wondering what happened to his lawn. The next day the delivery men return and demand to know what happened to the $2000 lawn they installed. Darrin realizes that Samantha wasn’t lying after all. He apologizes enough to get her to try to use magic to re-install the grass but it doesn’t work. Endora is blocking the spell because Darrin referred to her as an old warhorse. Bill McLean has heard where his lawn was delivered and comes looking for it. When Darrin doesn’t have a good explanation he is about to punch him in the nose when Samantha makes him hit an invisible hard object. Darrin figures that Endora’s counter spell only applies to their own lawn, so they go to the McLean house where Samantha conjures a new lawn. 

            Bill McLean was played by Richard X. Slattery, who was an NYPD beat cop for 12 years. He started his acting career in police academy training films and community theatre. He played Murph the gas station attendant for Union 76 gas commercials for many years. He co-starred in The No Mercy Man. He co-starred in the sitcoms Mister Roberts and C.P.O. Sharkey. 

            In the second story Darrin has sprung on Samantha at the last minute that they are invited to dinner at the home of an important prospective client. She is getting ready as fast as she can while he keeps nagging her to hurry. While he’s beeping the horn she decides to use witchcraft to satisfy his impatience. But while she’s getting ready with magic Darrin walks back into the house and catches her. On the way to the Sharp house in a rain storm Darrin nags Samantha about how every other person deals with life’s problems without witchcraft. Then they get a flat tire but Darrin doesn’t want to fix it in the rain. He asks Samantha to use magic but she reminds him of the lecture he just gave her and refuses. Darrin fixes the tire and arrives at the Sparks home in a soaking wet tuxedo. Sharp and his wife and Larry and Louise are there. Sharp finds some dry clothes of his own for Darrin to wear but Sharp is short and Darrin is tall and so Darrin looks ridiculous. Sharp keeps making jokes and in the end Darrin calls him “Shorty”. Darrin and Samantha argue all the way home. Samantha says a tall man in a short suit is classically funny and has been for centuries. Darrin says, “You outta know!” making a reference to her age. It continues as they are getting ready for bed and finally Samantha has had enough. She packs her things and goes home to mother, taking Tabitha with her. Apparently Endora lives on a cloud. At work Darrin is miserable but then Sparks comes to apologize for his jokes. He invites Darrin and Samantha for dinner again that night. Darrin comes home and profusely apologizes hoping that Samantha can hear him wherever she is. She comes home and he is so grateful that he wants to take her out to a French restaurant and ignore the Sharp invitation. But Samantha decides it will be better to go to the Sharps. On the way they run out of gas but secretly Samantha conjures a gas station nearby.