Barry Levinson

            On Thursday morning I memorized the ninth verse of L'anguille (The Eel) by Boris Vian. There is only one verse left and it’s almost the same as the sixth verse so I’ll probably have the whole song in my head tomorrow. 

            I memorized the fifth verse of “Il est Rigolo mon gigolo” (He’s a Giggle Oh My Gigolo) by Serge Gainsbourg. There’s just one verse remaining to nail down in that song as well. 

            I weighed 90.35 kilos before breakfast. 

            During song practice I played my Kramer and it stayed in tune almost through the whole session. 

            I was a day behind on my journal and worked on getting caught up. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown. On Brock Avenue someone had thrown out a bunch of stuff, including some books. I took Wicked by Gregory Maquire, The Eden Express by Mark Vonnegut, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof by Tennessee Williams, Go Ask Alice by Anonymous, and The Trial by Franz Kafka. On the way back I stopped at Freshco where the grapes from Chile were very cheap and so I bought seven bags. I also got one pack of raspberries, one pack of blueberries, some bananas, a carton of spoon sized shredded wheat, some hair conditioner, and a pack of Sponge Towels. 

            I weighed 90.7 kilos at 18:30. 

            I worked on getting caught up in my journal but I was still behind at suppertime. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 7, episode 20 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            A girl in the audience says she performed Carol’s character Zelda in a school play and so Carol gets her to come up on stage and do a bit of the character. 

            Carol plugs Cicely Tyson’s performance in The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pitman. She says Cicely has her vote for the Emmy. She did win. 

            In "As the Stomach Turns", Marian is talking to a friend on the phone and asks about her weekend. She hears about a confrontation with another woman, an alcoholic binge, a trial separation, and that her maid quit. Marian says, “It was nice talking to you Maude”. Then she says, “Life’s not easy when you’re in the top ten”. This is clearly a reference to the sitcom Maude , which was in it’s second season at the time. Marian looks through her photo album and sees the X-Ray of her broken heart which was taken when she found out the truth about her second husband Sylvia. There are lots of pictures of her smiling at some of the funerals of her ex-husbands. Marian is thinking out loud about how her niece will be visiting today and then she wonders how she can have a niece when she has no siblings. Marian’s niece Raven arrives (played by Bernadette Peters), and says, “Hello Grandmother Marian!” Marian says she’s too young to be her grandmother. Raven brings Marian cherry blossoms from Washington, Martha Washington candy and two tapes. The tapes are clearly a reference to the missing Nixon White House tapes. Marian puts the blossoms in a vase but Raven suddenly changes her mood and smashes it. Marian puts the candies in a bowl and Raven changes again to smash it and stomp on all of the candies. Raven predicts Marian will have a bursitis attack and then Marian collapses in pain. Marian sits down and the chair starts to dance by itself. Raven is possessed like Regan in the 1973 movie The Exorcist but Marian just thinks it’s the generation gap and tries to talk young talk. She attempts to “rap” with Raven and tells her to “Let it all hang out”. Raven punches her in the stomach and growls, “Get lost you old bat!” Raven grabs a knife and starts ripping the upholstery. The doorbell rings and it’s Tim Conway as Otto Blackflag, Canoga Falls’ leading exterminator. He says because of the success of the movie The Exorcist he’s decided to become a freelance exorcist. Marian asks about his experience and he said he once saved a girl who was possessed by the June Taylor Dancers. Otto begins Raven’s exorcism by showing her the symbols of goodness. He first shows Raven an 8x10 of Doris Day drinking a glass of milk; next is a white shoe worn by Pat Boone; then a twig from the Christmas tree of the King Family; and finally a set of Shirley Temple glasses used by the Johnny Mann singers during a tribute to America the Beautiful when the guest star was Kate Smith. Otto says Raven is cured and she has nothing but goodness in her heart and soul and a little bit of her knee. The last part must have been an ad lib because both Carol and Bernadette start laughing. Otto sits down in a chair that starts flying with him in it. 

            Bernadette sings the 1934 song “Blame it On My Youth” by Oscar Levant and Edward Heyman.

            Tammy Corkrin (Carol) is sitting at a restaurant table when a woman she recognizes walks in and she calls out to Midge Morgan (Vickie), who recognizes her as well. Midge sits down and Tammy asks how she is. Midge says she’s never been better but Tammy says she looks tired. Midge says she’s married and her husband’s a doctor. Tammy says that’s the right idea to marry a rich old man for security. “Roy and I are extremely happy.” “That dazzle will wear off soon enough.” “We’ve been married five years.” Midge tells Tammy that she made a record. “Not one of those outfits where you pay them!” “No, it’s on Capital Records.” “Only one in a million ever sells.” “Mine sold quite a few. Maybe you heard it. Glitter Girl?” “It was effective but one record doesn’t mean a thing. You’re dead if you don’t cut an album.” “I’m cutting an album tomorrow.” “One album doesn’t mean a thing. You haven’t got a prayer unless you do stage and movies.” “I am opening in a new musical next week.” “Don’t tell me you’ve been roped into one of those little theatre groups at the end of an alley.” “I’m the lead in the new musical that’s opening at the Music Pavilion. They’re going to premier it here before they take it to Broadway.” “That’s the kiss of death! Only Neil Simon could pull that off.” “This is by Neil Simon.” “When will Neil Simon quit? Nobody goes to plays anymore. The cinema is where it’s at.” “This has already been sold to a movie producer.” “They’ll use another girl for the part and you be left out in the cold.” “The director already signed me for the lead because he asked for me.” “Some poor director from off Broadway.” “It’s Mike Nichols.” “I hope he pulls out of the slump he’s been in. He’s down to working with Dolphins lately (A reference to The Day of the Dolphin).” “He’s a great director. Even his first film Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? was a hit.” “Even I could slap a grey wig on Elizabeth Taylor and come up with a hit. You’re a dead duck if you don’t come up with a big male star.” “We do have Robert Redford.” “What’s he done? Nine or ten movies.” “He’s so handsome!” “Everybody just thinks he is.” “He is awfully talented.” “Can he sing? Can he tap dance? The movie industry is on its last legs anyway. Only the nitwits are hanging in there.” “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should get out of the business.” “Now you’re cooking! Why don’t we have dinner tonight?” “I can’t. I have to have dinner with my director.” Midge leaves in tears. A couple walks into the restaurant. Tammy grabs two menus and says, “Table for two? Right this way please.” 

            Harvey and Tim play two Japanese sailors in a two-man submarine in 1942 on a mission to sink Cleveland. They speak in a fake language that sounds like Japanese to westerners. Tim is the superior officer and he hits Harvey from time to time the way Moe would hit the others in Three Stooges movies. Tim outlines their plan of attack. They’ll arrive at the west coast of the US and rent a U-Haul to take their sub to Las Vegas. Harvey mentions Todie Field and Tim hits him. They get hit by a depth charge and spring a leak. They try to fire a torpedo but it shoots backwards and now it’s hallway in their cabin. Tim pushes it back in, Harvey fires and Tim gets shot out of the sub. 

            They do a tribute to the movies of the 1930s, starting with gangster movies. The mob boss usually has to be wiped out. Harvey plays a barber about to shave a mob boss named Luckiano. His eyes are covered with a towel. Harvey’s back is turned as he gets everything ready. Tim comes in with a violin case. He opens the case, pulls out what’s inside and aims to fire but it’s an actual violin. He pulls a gun from his jacket and fires but there are no bullets. He pulls a knife but the blade falls off. He pulls out a rope to strangle him but that falls apart as well. He puts some dynamite in the barber’s chair and steps outside with the plunger but unknowingly drags the dynamite outside with him and blows himself up. Harvey is ready to shave Luckiano but sneezes and accidentally slits the don’s throat.

            The 30s gave birth to the movie musical and one of the most successful movie songwriters was Harry Warren. They do a mini-musical using Warren’s songs. In a sheet music store Carol pretends to play piano and sings “I Found a Million Dollar Baby in a Five and Ten Cent Store” with lyrics by Mort Dixon and Billy Rose from the 1931 musical Crazy Quilt. Harvey comes in playing a college student and invites Carol to a dance . She thinks it’s a date but he’s hiring her to play for the dancers. They pick out some songs, like “We’re in the Money” with lyrics by Al Dubin from Gold Diggers of 1933. Harvey asks for something romantic for when he gives Lulu his pin so she picks, “You’re My Everything” with lyrics by Mort Dixon and Joe Young from the 1931 revue The Laugh Parade. Later at the dance Carol plays “With Plenty of Money and You Oh Baby What I Couldn’t Do” with lyrics by Al Dubin from Gold Diggers of 1937. She sings “Shadow Waltz” with lyrics by Al Dubin from Golddiggers of 1933. Harvey arrives with Lulu (Bernadette) who sings “Lulu’s Back in Town” with lyrics by Al Dubin from the 1935 film Broadway Gondolier. Lulu does a big tap dance with the Ernie Flatt Dancers while singing the 1928 song “Nagasaki” with lyrics by Mort Dixon. Harvey starts singing “You’re My Everything” to Lulu but drops his pin and then several guys move in to give her theirs and then they carry her away, leaving Harvey alone. Then Harvey sings “The Boulevard of Broken Dreams” with lyrics by Al Dubin from the 1934 film Moulin Rouge. Carol sings “Don’t Give Up the Ship” with lyrics by Al Dubin from the 1935 film Shipmates Forever. Harvey takes her glasses off and sings “Jeepers Creepers” with lyrics by Johnny Mercer from the 1938 movie Going Places. Then she sings “I Only Have Eyes For You” with lyrics by Al Dubin from the 1934 movie Dames. He’s about to kiss her when Lulu taps him on the shoulder and sings “Shuffle Off to Buffalo” with lyrics by Al Dubin from the 1933 film 42nd Street. Then everybody sings it and leaves Carol alone. She sings “Lullaby of Broadway” with lyrics by Al Dubin from the 1935 movie Golddiggers of 1935. But Harvey returns and sings “I Found a Million Dollar Baby” and they kiss.

            One of the writers of The Carol Burnett Show was Barry Levinson, who after college went to LA where he studied acting, improvisation, and production. He worked in comedy clubs where he learned to write. In 1967 he got a job at a local LA station writing for a comedy show. He performed on the show and won a local Emmy. In the 70s he started writing for The Carol Burnett Show and co-won two Emmys. He also wrote for Marty Feldman’s Comedy Machine and The Tim Conway Show. He co-wrote the screenplays for Silent Movie, High Anxiety, He co-wrote And Justice For All. He wrote and directed Diner, Tin Men, Avalon, Jimmy Hollywood, Liberty Heights, He directed The Natural, Young Sherlock Holmes, Rain Man (which won four Oscars including Best Director), Good Morning Vietnam, Man of the Year, Bugsy, Disclosure, An Everlasting Piece, Wag the Dog, Bandits, Poliwood, Envy, What Just Happened, The Bay, The Humbling, Rock the Kasbah, and the Alto Knights. He co-wrote and directed Toys, Sleepers, . He directed and produced Sphere. He co-produced the series Dopesick and directed the first two episodes. He co-produced Homicide: Life On the Street, Oz, He directed the American Express webisodes The Adventures of Seinfeld and Superman. His first novel is called Sixty Six.