I finished memorizing the “Que je t’aime (That I Love You)” parody by Serge Gainsbourg. Tomorrow I’ll translate the second and final verse then start working out the chords.
I weighed 90.15 kilos before breakfast.
I played my Martin during song practice for the last of four sessions and of course it went out of tune for every song.
I was still behind on my journal and worked on getting caught up.
I weighed 91.05 kilos before lunch.
In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back.
I weighed 90.7 kilos at 18:00.
I worked on my journal at was still behind at suppertime.
I had a potato with gravy and a thick slice of roast pork while watching season 9, episode 11 of The Carol Burnett Show.
During the audience warmup someone asks Carol if she’ll sign his copy of her book What I Want to Be When I Grow Up, so she has him come up. He’s wearing a USC jersey and she says she doesn’t know if she should sign it because she went to UCLA. He says he’s sorry.
Carol brings out Betty White, who won an Emmy for playing Sue Ann on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Carol says that Betty is one of the nicest people she knows but her character Sue Ann is such a nasty person. Carol wants to know how she is able to be so nice and yet plays such a mean person. Betty says she remembers Rhoda and she remembers Phyllis and it’s easy to be mean knowing that she’s the only one in the cast who didn’t get a show of their own, then she storms off the stage.
Harvey plays a similar character he played a season or two ago except this time he’s not a German officer during WWII but an executive for a company that is a parody of Volkswagen. While carrying a riding crap he is addressing all the salesmen for the company. He says that the US economy cars are beating German cars in sales. He tells them their failure has forced him to take drastic steps and so he brings out the district manager played by Tim, which is the same character he played with Harvey’s character before when he was a Nazi torturer. Tim comes in and they give each other the Nazi salute. Tim then jumps on his knees onto the boardroom table then brings one leg back to the floor. For a moment he thinks he’s lost a leg and says now he won’t be able to dance at Oktoberfest, which cracks Harvey up. A sales chart is on the wall and Tim follows it until it descends behind a book shelf on which he bumps his head. Tim’s idea is to call the people selling US cars and find out their sales pitch to copy it. He puts on a disguise before making the phone call. When he hears that US economy cars get better mileage he wants one. Harvey wants a blue one. The US salesman wants to talk to Tim’s wife on the phone so Harvey puts on a blonde wig and makes his voice higher. They find out they’ll get a free trip to Hawaii so Harvey and Tim leave to get a US car.
Carol is carrying a suitcase as she enters a home’s garage. She gets into the car and starts singing the 1965 song “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” by Jimmy Webb. While singing she tries to start the car but the engine won’t turn over so she gets out to open the hood. She sets off the horn, which blares through about a minute of the song and so we only see Carol’s lips moving. The horn stops when she closes the hood then she gets on her kid’s tricycle to start to ride that but her suitcase flies open. Then her husband (played by Harvey) comes in yelling about all the noise and how he has to leave for work soon and she hasn’t even started breakfast. So she goes back in the house.
Carol and Tim play a couple celebrating their tenth anniversary in Mexico in the same room as their honeymoon. They go to bed but Carol says she felt something crawling on her. He turns on the light and says, “There it is” and Carol jumps out of bed screaming. Tim says he was joking. Then she sees it on the floor. Tim can’t see it there but then sees it on the dresser and so he puts a glass on top of it. They leave it there and go back to bed but then the glass breaks. They go looking for it again and Carol sees it on the back of his neck. He leaves the room and Carol won’t let him back in until the bug is gone. He assures her it is and she opens the door but now he has an iguana on his back.
The Ernie Flatt dancers do a medley of disco dances including The Roach, The Bump, The Snake, and The New York Hustle.
In the Mama’s Family sketch it’s Mama’s birthday and she’s celebrating at Eunice and Ed’s home. They’ve just had dinner and Ed lets it slip that her daughter Ellen is coming over when it was supposed to be a surprise. Mama is happy that Ellen is coming because it’s her biggest heartache that Eunice and Ellen have never gotten along. We’ve heard Ellen mentioned in several of these sketches but she has never appeared. Ellen arrives played by Betty, and Mama says until she heard she was coming she was thinking what a big bust this birthday was. Eunice offers Ellen some chicken and dumplings but Ellen says her stomach can’t tolerate greasy food. Ellen asks Ed how things are going in the linoleum business. He corrects her that he’s in hardware. She says that’s nothing to be ashamed of and one should be a bush if they can’t be a tree. Eunice brings out Mama’s birthday cake and Mama hopes it’s not too rich or she won’t be able to eat any on top of them greasy dumplings. Ellen says she won’t have any because all that refined sugar takes the vitamin E out of your system and a lot of it over the years makes a person half crazy. Mama recounts how the fights Eunice and Ellen had when they were kids went through her like a knife. Eunice admits to Ellen that she was jealous of her because she was prettier, smarter, could jump rope better, and had more boyfriends. Ellen says, “You probably just thought I was all those things and you probably weren’t all the things I thought you were either”. “All what things?” “That you were selfish, sullen, and disrespectful, when all the time you were probably just lonely and wanting to be liked without making it”. Eunice mentions how Ellen stole three of her dolls. Ellen says she just borrowed them. Ellen says, “So what if I’m prettier”. Mama mentions how good at reciting Ellen was and how she had The Raven memorized. Eunice admits she wasn’t nearly as good and Mama says, “You sure as hell weren’t! You were terrible!” Mama recounts the high school play when Eunice played a snowflake. “You tried your best but darlin you just stunk!” Ellen adds, “Everybody else was pretty bad but you took the cake!” Mama adds, “You were pitiful!” Eunice says, “At the time you said you loved what I did”. Mama says, “You were such a touchy thing, what did you expect me to say?” Mama opens Ellen’s present and it’s a mink stole. Mama says, “I’m so glad one of my girls married someone with some get up and go”. Mama opens Eunice’s gift and it’s just a fancy flyswatter. Mama says, “Now I can walk into a swanky party and swat all the flies while I’m at it!” Eunice says she just thought it would be a nice conversation piece to hang in her kitchen. Mama says she hopes if she has someone in her kitchen they’ll have something better to discuss than swatting flies. Ellen says she’d like to get one for her trashman. Mama says to just give him that one. Eunice is upset and Ellen asks her when she’s going to grow up. Eunice says she doesn’t need her walking into her home and telling her how to behave. Mama tells Eunice not to use that tone with Ellen. Eunice points out to Mama that her precious Ellen visits her for five minutes every five years and throws in an expensive gift to ease her guilty conscience. Ellen tells Eunice that all her life she has wondered why she has acted like such a jackass and she’s finally figured out that it’s because she is a jackass. Ellen starts to leave and Eunice says for her to take the flyswatter since she took all her dolls and the only man she ever loved. Suddenly Ed is stunned and asks who that was. Ellen says it was just some poor dope Eunice had a crush on who asked her out instead of Eunice. Eunice says it was Duke Reeves and accuses Ellen of leading him on when she didn’t even want him. Ellen says, “He sure as hell didn’t want you!” Eunice says, “You poisoned his mind against me and look what I wound up with!” Ed doesn’t know what to say. Eunice tells Ellen she’s cruel, mean and vicious. Ellen says, “Shut up! You are an eyesore and a humiliation to the entire family and I should have decked you when we was kids! If you want that ratty hair to stay in one piece you better just lay offa me!” Then Ellen leaves and shouts “Jackass!” Mama says, “Well, I hope you are satisfied…” But Eunice says, “If you value your life you won’t say one word to me! I have broken my back to make this a nice birthday for you old lady!”
Carol tells Betty she loves seeing her every year in the Pasadena Rose Bowl Parade. Betty says she’d love to have her join her but Carol says she doesn’t like marching bands or parades because they’ve always terrified her. Betty says she’ll cure her and orders a parade onstage. The dancers act like they’re in a parade. Carol and Betty sing the 1931 song “I Love a Parade” by Harold Arlen and Ted Koehler. The Locke High School Band performs along with a young dancer who does some funky moves. I assume he is part of the same school. Carol and Betty finish with the song that started things off.
In the audience was Betty White’s husband Allen Ludden, who earned a BA and an MA from the University of Texas where he majored in English and Dramatics. In 1948 he became a program director for WCBS radio in New York. His teen oriented radio show Mind Your Manners won a Peabody Award in 1950. In 1959 he became the program coordinator for all CBS radio stations. He was the host of Password for 2814 episodes between 1961 and 1975 (for which he won an Emmy). His opening catchphrase was “Hi doll!” and it was addressed to Betty’s mother Tess White. He met Betty on Password but their romance blossomed in 1962 when they were performing together in the summer stock play Critic’s Choice. He and Betty were married until he died in 1981. She never remarried and said, “Once you’ve had the best, who needs the rest?” He wrote four books of plain talk advice, and one youth oriented novel in 1959 called Roger Tomoas, Actor. In 1964 he released an album called Allen Ludden Sings His Favourite Songs.
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